


Don't Walk Past: Abridged

by ComradeGiddyBiscuit



Series: Naive Melody (This Must Be the Place) [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Comedy, Domestic Fluff, Drama, Family Drama, Family Fluff, M/M, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Single Parents, Slice of Life, eruri - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:34:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 135,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27421270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ComradeGiddyBiscuit/pseuds/ComradeGiddyBiscuit
Summary: This is the ABRIDGED version (non-explicit) of Don't Walk Past. No naughty scenes in this version!Who has time for dating when you're a single parent juggling the demands of work, friends, home and of course an energetic eight year old? Levi Ackerman has dedicated the last nine years of his life to his son, Eren, with little room for anything (or anyone) else. As Eren struggles to make lasting friendships, Levi struggles to live life as much for himself as the son adores.Having the means to pick up and go wherever his whim dictates, single father Erwin Smith has been able to live the dream of raising his son Armin in a multitude of countries, languages and cultures. Exhausted from constantly "starting over" and having no solid friendships, Armin has entrusted his father with the daunting task of settling down.Two unlikely little boys forge an immediate bond - which naturally brings their fathers in to one another's lives.
Relationships: Levi/Erwin Smith
Series: Naive Melody (This Must Be the Place) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2003383
Comments: 9
Kudos: 20





	1. Just the Two of Us

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is the non-explicit version of "Don't Walk Past" ~ If you enjoy Eruri, but do not want all of the "naughty" scenes, this is the fanfic for you. If you DO want all of the M/M Eruri sexy fun times, please read the main, explicitly rated Eruri fanfic. Thank you!

'Cause I know I loved you more than life itself  
Then to my knees, and I begged the Lord please  
Let me be a good daddy, all he needs  
Love, knowledge, discipline too  
I pledge my life to you  
Just the two of us, we can make it if we try  
Just the two of us, (Just the two of us)  
Just the two of us, building castles in the sky  
Just the two of us, you and I'

\- Will Smith (Just the Two of Us)

“Eren!” Levi calls as he slips each foot into the supple, familiar black leather of his boots. “Do you want to get breakfast or not? Get the molasses out of your butt, kiddo.”

The first week of school used to be the most difficult. The days of alternating between jammies and swim trunks as suitable attire were over; no more running through the sprinklers, vegetating to a marathon of Spongebob Squarepants, forgetting the days. Now was the time for backpacks, a fresh set of colored pencils, wearing actual clothes like civilized primates, and prepared lunches. Time management had never been the Ackerman boys' forte, but over the years through trial and error, Levi worked out a system that smoothed the transition.

“I'm coming, dad!” Eren huffs as he slings his backpack over one shoulder and does a once over of his bedroom. Dad will check it after school to make sure his bed was made. “Good enough,” Eren mutters under his breath before tossing a wayward shoe into his hamper. “OK! Ready!”

“Let's get this show on the road, little monster,” Levi says, placing his sunglasses over his small, steel blue eyes and opening the front door for his son. Levi admires his boy as Eren secured his acid green helmet and slipped the other strap of his backpack onto his shoulder. Eight years old - eight and _a half_ , Eren would correct – and in first week of third grade. Time was flying past them; Levi recalls the days when dropping Eren off at school was a daily traumatic catastrophe; the little boy clinging to his leg, begging and pleading for his daddy to stay or take him home.

Mounting the motorcycle, Levi secures his own helmet as he shakes off the reflection. Those days were long gone, and though Eren demands much of his attention still, the precocious child has found security in Emerson, a private school which championed the individual and nurtured developing young minds – for a handsome sum, of course. Privately, Levi refers to it as “that expensive tree-hugger school,” but the single parent knew in his heart it was the ideal place for his emotional and passionate son.

At seven-fifteen, Levi's black and chrome Harley Davidson parks at Sunshine Coffee Shop, a relic from the heyday of diners and greasy spoons, before they became all the rage on the food and travel programs. The same lot of truckers, mechanics, transit drivers, plumbers and other hard-working blue collar men and women frequented the coffee shop for all of its sixty years; though smoking indoors had been abolished in Los Angeles for some time, it clung to the faded wallpaper like ghosts to a darkened hallway. Still, it was clean, and offered cheap and tasty no-frills fuel for the breaking of the fast, which was precisely why Levi initiated this tradition with his only child.

“What are you feeling like today?” Levi asks, eyeing Eren as the boy swivels to and fro in his counter chair.

“A chocolate eclair and orange juice,” Eren replies.

“Let's get a protein in there, kid.” Levi suggests, unceasingly marveling at Eren's insatiable sugar tooth. Levi rarely indulges the boy, seeing as he already possessed enough stamina to ignite a dying sun. Sugar need not add to the equation.

“Ugh, but it's so hot out! I don't want anything hot."

“Then get cereal,” Levi tells his son, sensing trouble brewing on the horizon.

“I can eat cereal at home,” Eren sighs obstinately.

Levi's right eyebrow twitched ever so subtly. Great. Not four days into the new school year and Eren is being difficult.

“I don't know how to help you,” Levi says honestly in that deadpan voice he knew irritated his excitable son.

“What'll it be, boys?” The counterman asks, pencil and pad poised.

“Ham and eggs, over easy. Sourdough toast, please.” Levi orders. “Coffee.”

“What are grits?” Eren asks as he scanned the menu for the tenth time that morning.

“You know cream of wheat?”

“Yeah.”

“Kinda like that, but with teeny tiny corn bits.”

Eren wastes no time making up his mind. “I'll have a cheesy egg scramble and toast like my dad's. Oh, and orange juice.”

_“Eren,”_ Levi adds sternly.

“Please?” Eren remembers, smiling for good measure. His eyetooth was missing; an end of summer surprise to show off on the first day of school. Four days in and it was old news now.

“One cheesy egg scramble with toast like dad's and OJ, coming right up.”

“Thank you!” Eren replies, remembering on his own, beaming at his father for approval. Levi does not disappoint, running a hand through Eren's perpetually messy brown hair. No comb could tame such an unruly mop.

These early morning breakfasts permit Levi and Eren to bond outside the sanctuary of their humble abode, and Levi knows it makes Eren feel important with a unique routine different from his peers. He will never be the kid who went on ski trips during winter break, or retreated to a second home in Maui, or even enjoyed a summer by his own pool, but Levi ensures his son receives his own exclusive luxuries in life.

“I know you hate those eggs,” Levi sasses dryly a short while later, watching Eren shovel his breakfast like a man deprived of food for weeks, “but I insist you do your best to eat them.”

“Haha,” Eren replies, egg falling out of his mouth. Levi eyes his son, his vexation palpable.

“Eren, stop being a savage.”

“Sorry, dad,” Eren replies sheepishly before swallowing his mouthful. Levi's expression softens to paternal affection.

“You know better.”

Remorseful, Eren nods and eats the rest of his meal properly.

“Do you still have room for your eclair?” Levi asks as his plate is whisked away by the counterman.

“Nope,” Eren shakes his head and sighs, staring at the last bit of his toast.

“You can tuck it away for lunch, you know.”

“Oh, yeah!” Eren's grey eyes lit up like Christmas.

Levi grins; his son could get equally upset and excited over the smallest things in life. Levi never knew such an emotionally driven child. Then again, his experience with children outside of Eren was minimal at best.

“An eclair to go, please,” Levi orders as the check was set down, prompting him to reach in his back pocket for his wallet. Used to their strict cash only policy, Levi leaves enough for tip and the confection. To his son Levi asks, “Anything exciting to look forward to this year?”

“We have a camping trip in spring, and the big Observatory field trip at night some time,” Eren rattles off, swiveling in his chair as he slowly munched on the remainder of his raspberry jam laden toast.

“At night? I'll look into chaperoning that one, if you want.” Levi ventures, polishing off his coffee. Levi likes to get a jump start on his annual mandatory fifteen hours of parent volunteering.

“Yeah!” Eren cheered. “Oh, and don’t forget Back to School Night is next week.”

“Joy,” Levi grumbles with an inward sigh. “Yeah, I’ve got it on the calendar at home.” The school director already cornered him on the first day of school, suckering him into volunteering at the sign-in desk during the after hours event.

“And an eclair to go,” the counterman says, handing Eren a white paper bag containing the donut. “Have a good day, Ackermen!”

It was his own joke, pluralizing their last name of Ackerman to Ackermen. As cheesy as it is, it never failed to make Levi smirk.

“Let's roll, kid,” Levi says, donning his sunglasses once more before picking up his and Eren's helmets and nodding to the counterman.

“See you!” Eren waves after he stuffs the eclair into his backpack and follows his dad outside where the motorcycle was waiting.

* * *

“Poppppaaaa!” Armin calls, his voice echoing in the grandiose foyer. “I am going to be late!” He clings desperately to the strap of his messenger bag, his eyes going from his watch to the grandfather clock ticking away the seconds of his life. The ticks echo through the cavernous entry, heightening Armin's awareness of how ostentatious their new house is. Everywhere they ever resided, their housing grew successively grander, though their family unit remains small in size. Armin is unsure if it is the mere novelty of the American adage bigger is better, or if it is a deliberate effort on his father's part. “Popppaaa!”

“Armin, calm down,” replies Erwin Smith as he descends the staircase, his shoes clamped under one arm as he fiddles with the cuff of his right sleeve. “There's no need to be nervous.”

“I'm not nervous,” Armin states, frowning as his father sat at the bottom of the staircase and deposits his shoes. With an aggravated huff of impatience, the blond boy marches over to his father and secures the cufflink.

“Thanks, Mini Me.”

“ _Please_ don't call me that,” Armin warns, crossing his arms over his chest to show he means business. Erwin smirks as he bends to put on his shoes.  
  
“I forgot. You're in third grade now; you’re self-actualized and I am merely your chauffeur, landlord and chef.”

“You're teasing,” Armin accuses, not even an iota of amusement in his tone or eyes.

“I tease so you'll relax.”

“And Sasha does the cooking,” Armin corrects with a knowing look.

“I know, I know. It's all take away and frozen fare when the cooking falls to me.”

“Sasha will be horrified.”

“Well, you only have to put up with my sophomoric approach to the culinary arts for a few more days.”

Pacing in a circle as his father worked at a knot in his laces, Armin remains lost in a cloud of woe before abruptly asking, “Do you know how many times I have had to go through today?”

Erwin looks up from his shoes. “I don't follow; are you a Time Lord? Have you tripped into a space-time vortex which refuses to release you from this date?”

Bright blue eyes let Erwin know this was the most inopportune moment for a jest. “No. I mean days like this, the first day of school. They always make me anxious.”

“Why?”

“Starting over is not easy, Poppa. I have to become familiar with the school, the rules, the schedule, my teachers, my classmates...make friends.” Armin's eyes lower briefly. “And when I make friends, we move again.”

Erwin feels a twist of guilt in the pit of his stomach. “I'm working on that, Armin.”

“I certainly hope so,” Armin huffs, the fire returning to his eyes. “It's quite vexing, going through this again and again. People having to get used to me, decide if they like me. I talk differently; I spell differently!”

“You're an exceptional student, Armin; you will learn to spell like my fellow Americans.” Erwin could not comment on his son's accent; most people will assume it's British-English, even though it is a hodgepodge of many regional dialects from England, Denmark, France, Ireland, and even Japan.

“That is not the point,” Armin sighs. “No matter where I go, I'm the odd duck.”

“You are not the odd duck,” Erwin gently argues.

“Have you lost count of the number of schools I've attended, dad?”

“Oh... now let me think,”

“Seven,” Armin interrupted. “This is my seventh school.”

“Surely not,” Erwin scoffed, even as the vacillation in his eyes betrayed him. “How can that be? You are eight years old.”

Armin ticked them off on his fingers as he tersely listed each institution. “Nursery and Montessori in France, kindergarten in Tokyo, half of first year at Eaton House in London, the other half of first year and half of second year at the international school in Denmark, the last bit of my second year at Educate Together in Cork, and now Emerson in Pasadena, California for my third year.” He sighed. “I don't want to do this again, Poppa. Not for a long while, anyway.”

“Well, that's why we're here, isn't it? To settle down.”

Armin studies his father dubiously. “I'm not quite sure you can manage it.”

Erwin rises to his full height, his fists on his hips. “Is that a challenge, young sir?”

“Yes. A challenge to see me to school on time.”

Erwin's eyes shoot over to the grandfather clock before double checking his watch. “Oh, indeed. Let's go.”

* * *

  
The convoluted drop-off process Emerson had implemented never ceased to irritate Levi. This bubble-wrapped generation of youngsters not only had to be escorted into the facility by a parental unit or cleared guardian, but early birds whose children played at Community Care before school was in session had to be signed in at the front or rear desk. When Levi's work backed up, he liked to get into the shop early and utilize every minute before it was officially open, so Eren would have to contend with the latter process. Despite this intent, their breakfast dates kept them until the last few moments before school officially started. Unfortunately for them, everyone was still getting used to the school year and all parking – scant spaces and street alike – seemed to be filled up.

“Damn it,” Levi swore under his breath as mirrored sunglasses scanned for anyone leaving. He didn't want Eren to be marked tardy for something as trivial as piss poor parking. Finally, a Mercedes close to the entrance pulled out and Levi quickly pulled a U-turn to haul back to the spot. “Hang on, kid.”

It was a close call as he beat out a red Prius just as the vehicle nose-dived into the space. Levi's Harley was too bulky for the Prius to fit comfortably behind him, however, and the driver was forced to back out and try their luck elsewhere.

“You snooze you lose!” Eren cackled delightfully as he hopped down and whipped off his helmet.

“Yup,” Levi agreed with a gentle hand between his son's shoulder blades to guide him inside.

“Hi, Miss Nifa!” Eren waved to the young woman at the front desk.

“Hello, Eren,” The baby-faced brunet greeted. “Good morning, Levi.”

Levi nodded as he quickly found the sheet for Eren's teacher, Mr. Hannes, and signed in his son. Handing the clipboard back to the secretary, Levi then straightened up and looked down at his son.

“Be good, Eren.”

“Well. If I _have_ to,” Eren sassed with put-on exasperation.

Levi smirked and accepted the bear hug his boy hurled at him.

“Have a good day, li'l monster,” Levi said as Eren released him and made his way down the hall.

“I will. Bye, dad!” Eren waved enthusiastically even as his feet took him further into the school. Cradling his helmet under his arm, Levi turned to leave.

* * *

“Arrrg!” Erwin bellowed as he held onto Armin's hand, looking down each corridor. “For such a small school, it's astoundingly labyrinthine.”

“Poppa,” Armin tugged on his father's hand. “My classroom is this one, remember?” Armin pointed at a door with the number 9 etched above the doorway. “See? Miss Rico and Mr. Ian are my teachers, I remember from our luncheon last week.”

“Yes, but I've forgotten where I sign you in.”

The door opened and a young man in his mid-twenties stood there. “Armin, right?”

“Good morning, Mister Ian,” Armin said formally, straightening rigidly as he held tight to his messenger bag strap. Armin marveled at how the school used first names for the teachers and administration; it was certainly the most progressive school his father enrolled him at.

“Good morning, Armin. I can take you and show you directly to your desk, or I can introduce you to the class and you can talk a little if you want.”

Armin hoped he didn't look as green in the face as he felt about the prospect of introducing himself in front of the class. “I think I would rather take my seat quietly, if you please.”

“We're all in here whenever you're ready.”

“I am.” Armin looked up at his father. “Will you be all right?”

“If you would direct me to wherever I'm supposed to sign him in at?” Erwin smiled weakly at the assistant teacher.

“Turn at the bend,” Ian said, pointing toward the end of the hallway. “It'll intersect with another hall, turn right and follow it through. You'll find yourself at the front of the school and Miss Nifa will guide you from there.”

“Thank you!” Erwin looked down at his son. “You know they say seven is a lucky number.”

Armin contemplated that for a moment before nodding, finally cracking a smile. “I hope so.”

“Love you, Armin. Have a great day. I'll pick you up at five o'clock.” He looked up at Mr. Ian. “Will someone help him find the after care program?”

“I remember where it is,” Armin said, forcing himself not to sound as exasperated as he felt.

“Of course,” Erwin ruffled Armin's hair. “My little sponge.”

Armin turned away as abject mortification ruddied his cheeks.

“Hey, I'm sorry – okay. I take it back. Just. Have a terrific day, okay?”

“I will do my best,” Armin promised, rewarding his dad with the best smile he could muster under the circumstances.

Realizing he would only exacerbate the situation by lingering, Erwin gave his son one last encouraging nod before following the directions he had been issued.

“Aha!” He declared a few moments later when he spied the familiar front desk. “Victory at last.”

“Hello, Mr. Smith,” Nifa said. “Here's Miss Rico’s roster sheet.” She set the clipboard atop her desk for Erwin to sign. Just as he bent to take up the pen, a mighty roar of an engine startled both of them.

Looking up, Erwin spied the man on the motorcycle who had cut him off from the prime parking spot, forcing Erwin to circle around and double park in the alley behind the school.

“Hm,” Erwin said softly as he focused back on task. “James Dean out there cut me off for a parking spot he was only going to be in for a few minutes.”

Nifa looked up from her computer to take the roster sheet as Erwin handed her the clipboard. “Oh, no, he's a parent, too.”

“Ah,” Erwin replied, realization slowly dawning on him. “Wait, he let's his child ride on the back of that death machine?”

“They wear helmets, Mr. Smith, I promise,” Nifa retorted with a polite chuckle.

“Still...ah, I shouldn't be armchair parenting,” Erwin cut himself off suddenly, shaking his head in self-admonishment and gracing the receptionist with an apologetic smile. “The school will call if there are any issues, right?”

“Absolutely,” Nifa promised.

“Thank you. Have a nice day.” Erwin turned around once before blinking down at the young woman. “Uhm, how do I get back again?”

* * *

“There's a new boy in our class,” Jean boasted to Eren after school on the playground. Children enrolled in the after school daycare program met in the Community Room, signed in, and went over the schedule and activity options with the teachers before heading outside to receive a snack. Eren managed to save his eclair all day long, just so he could savor it during Community Care, but when he saw that the snack of the day was apple slices and string cheese, he decided his eclair could wait a little longer.

“So?” Eren asked, munching on his cheese and silently wishing that socializing with Marco in any manner, shape or way did not come with the additional baggage of the repugnant Jean Kirchstein, whom he eyed grumpily.

“So he talks funny and he is a total bookworm and is kind of a know-it-all.”

“Jean!” Marco admonished, making a stern expression of disapproval at his friend.

“You're rude,” Eren added, his curiosity about the new kid carefully cloaked so Jean exclusively saw blatant disinterest on Eren's face.

“I'm not rude,” Jean cried, “I'm just stating the facts!” Jean looked around. “I thought I saw him come to Community Care, but I don’t see him now.”

“Saying that someone talks funny isn't stating the facts,” Eren retaliated, a dangerous glint in his eyes. “You're just being a jerk.”

“Hey!” Marco leapt up from his place at the snack table, putting himself between his two friends before their argument could escalate into something that would land them all in the director's office. Gently, the freckled boy pushed his teeth-clenching friend away from Eren. “Jean and I are going to go play foursquare with Reiner and Bertolt. See you around, Eren.” Grabbing the back of Jean's shirt as the dusty haired boy lingered to glare at Eren, Marco added tightly, “Come on, Jean!”

By the time Eren finished his snack, Marco had already been picked up by his mother. Marco never had long to play at Community Care, unlike Eren and Jean, who were picked up well into the five o'clock hour. He spied a game of dodgeball being organized, but not by the teachers. Jean was clearly the captain of one of the teams, much to Eren’s chagrin. Dodgeball never ended well when both Eren and Jean participated, and Eren decided to exercise what his father called “being the bigger man” by not joining in. He slipped back into the Community Room and killed some time with homework. 

Growing bored shortly after he finished his school work, Eren decided he was due for a sweet reward and extracted his eclair from his backpack. After carefully wrapping the sweet in paper towels so as not to earn his father's wrath with a chocolate stain on his new school clothes, Eren returned outside and made a beeline for the playground equipment where a wide-mouthed tunnel bridged two larger sections together. Only he wasn't the first to think of this hiding spot.

“Hello,” Eren said to the stranger, a young blond boy curled up with a book so formidable in size that Eren would not have been surprised if it swallowed up its reader.

“Oh,” the other boy replied, startled. “Hello. I'm sorry, am I in your way?”

The boy did not sound like anyone Eren had ever heard before, except maybe on television or the movies. This must be the new boy Jean spoke of.

“Nope,” Eren answered, crawling deeper inside the tunnel, coming to sit next to the boy and rest his back against the curve of molded plastic. “You're fine.” Taking his eclair out from where he had tucked it, Eren set it on his belly, unwrapped it from its paper towel sheath. “I'm Eren.”

“How do you do. I'm Armin.”

“Where are you from, Armin?”

Armin thought about the question before answering the messy-haired brunet. “Well, I just moved here from Ireland, but before that I was in Denmark, London, Tokyo and Seattle. I was born in France, though.”

“Wow!” Eren exclaimed. “Your parents like to travel.”

“My poppa does, yes,” Armin confirmed cautiously.

“And read,” Eren added, observing the pile of books stacked on the other side of Armin. The blonde boy's cheeks took on a rosy hue in mild embarrassment despite the excited glint in his blue eyes.

“My class visited the library today. Reading is my hobby, especially about geography and oceanography.”

“Wooooow,” Eren exclaimed, his eyes wide with admiration. “You must be really smart.”

Armin shrugged modestly.

“My dad said if I do really well in high school, we'll go on a cross-country motorcycle road trip. All the way to Maine, where we'll feast on lobster every day and put our feet in the Atlantic Ocean. We might even see a whale!”

“That sounds like an adventure,” Armin said, beginning to warm to this boy with the tousled hair. Vaguely, Armin recalled the motorcycle earlier that morning when his father struggled to find a parking space. “Does your father operate a motorcycle?”

“Yes, he has two of them and a truck.”

“Does your mum own a motorcycle, too?”

“Oh, I don't have a mom,” Eren freely admitted.

“Not at all?” Armin ventured, curiosity triumphing over manners.

“Nope. Just me and dad.”

“Same,” Armin confessed, relieved it would not be like Ireland where the other boys were confused and rather belligerent as to why Armin could only have a father and no mother. “I only have a father. Oh, and Sasha. She's my nanny, but she is on holiday right now.”

Setting down the eclair on the paper towel, Eren reached over the new boy and plucked a book titled Geography of the World from the pile of literary treasure. Flipping through the book willy-nilly, Eren was impressed by the vivid photographs adorning each chapter. From explosive volcanoes to frozen tundras, the vast Sahara and the Mo’ai of Easter Island, Eren's luminescent eyes grew larger and larger.

“Have you been to all of these places?”

“Not at all,” Armin laughed. “We have trekked mostly through Europe, and some of Japan. I would like to return because my memories from Tokyo aren't as clear. But there are so many other places to see. Iceland,” Armin flipped to the page to show Eren the two-page spread of Iceland. “They have icebergs, and hot springs, and volcanoes all at once. It's amazing.”

“Do you have a favorite place?”

“Mmm...so far, my favorite is Croatia, on the Adriatic Sea. Poppa and I went there on holiday nearly every summer.”

“Which holiday?”

“Holiday means vacation,” Armin clarified.

“Oh, I get it.” Eren liked that Armin could correct him without making him feel like a complete idiot. He closed Armin's book and handed it back. “Aren't you going to miss all of that traveling?”

“I suppose, but I hope we stay here for a while.”

“Why?” Eren asked, ripping his eclair in two equal halves.

Armin shrugged, struggling to find the most precise words within his vocabulary to adequately express his emotions. “Moving is exhausting, and I'm tired of starting over again and again. Every time I settle in and begins to make a friend, poppa and I move again. I want to make friends and keep them this time.”

“Well,” Eren handed the boy the other half of the eclair before taking a generous bite of his half, the custard threatening to drip down on his shorts before he wiped it up with his finger and sucked it clean. “I'll be your friend, if you want.”

“Cheers,” Armin agreed, accepting the gooey American confection.


	2. Ghost of a Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Like a million little crossroads  
> Through the back streets of youth  
> Each time we turn a new corner  
> A tiny moment of truth
> 
> So many different connections  
> Our separate paths might have made  
> With every door that we opened  
> Every game we played
> 
> Somehow we find each other  
> Through all that masquerade  
> Somehow we found each other'
> 
> \- RUSH (Ghost of a Chance)

“And you know what's also interesting about Armin?” Eren asks, ducking his head under the 1957 Chevy his father labored under. The shop opened only from noon to four on Saturdays, and Eren typically divided his time between helping his father and playing at the park opposite the shop. The first weeks of the school year are always the most demanding on Levi’s time, as parents are required to volunteer a requisite of fifteen hours per school year. Levi prefers to get half of them out of the way before the winter holidays.

“Hmm?” Levi replies noncommittally, only half paying attention to his ebullient son. Since the moment he picked up Eren from school Thursday afternoon, he has been babbling non-stop about his new friend Armin Smith.

“He still learns Japanese because he doesn't want to forget how to speak it. And he does it _all by himself!”_ Eren emphasizes, his upside-down expression implying how impressed he feels, suggesting that Levi should feel equally dazzled.

“Wow,” Levi replies in his usual monotone, though satisfactorily enough for his son. Eren was well accustomed Levi's monosyllabic conversations. As soon as Eren's mussy hair and quick smile disappears from view, Levi catches the poorly muffled chuckling of his business partner and best friend Farlan Church.

As Levi slides out from under the car and sits up, Eren pauses in his jibber-jabbering to add wistfully, “I hope Armin doesn't end up like some of the other kids.”

Levi exchanges a pained expression with Farlan before looking at his son. Eren's friendships, or lack thereof, were a source of contention. Levi accepted he was part of the issue; his own hermetic, mercurial personality kept Eren from forging social bonds as a toddler. As he grew older, Eren's earnestness drove away fair-weather friends, while others looked down on Eren for being socioeconomically out of place. Some begrudged his child for not adhering to gender stereotypes with his interests. Eren was also rougher around the edges; Levi permitted Eren to ride his bike around the neighborhood, climb trees, let his imagination take hold, get himself dinged and scraped just enough to say he had an adventure. Most of the children at Emerson are so over-protected by their helicopter parents, their every waking second scheduled with lessons, play dates (a concept Levi willfully failed to grasp), appointments here, social engagements there; Eren is the emblematic embodiment of Pan by contrast.

A new kid was a new opportunity for Eren to make a friend, but a new kid also meant potential new rejection. Levi was pained just as much as his son every time friends came and went, and his cynical nature can not share the boy’s enthusiasm just yet. Projection is a powerful weapon, though, and Levi curtails his pessimism as best he can.

“Don't count him out just yet, Eren,” Levi advises. “Do your best to be a good and honest friend. The rest will happen naturally.”

“But what if it doesn't, Dad?” Eren askes.

Mulling on his son's question, Levi wishes for the umpteenth time that he possessed the necessary finesse with words to give his precious child the hope and encouragement he so richly deserved. Alas, Levi could only be himself. “Then he's just another pampered little snot like Jean and you're better off without his bullshit anyway.”

That nugget of paternal wisdom earns Levi a laugh from both Eren and Farlan.

The crash of a door reverberating on its hinges steals the room’s attention away from the amazing Armin Smith as Farlan’s younger sister Isabel emerges from the office.

“I can't look at another algebraic formula!” She declares with an exaggerated yawn and stretch. “I'm draining fast.”

“Eren,” Levi calls as he he gets to his feet, wiping the oil from his hands on a nearby rag. “Bring me the petty cash box.”

“OK!” Eren skips inside the office to fetch the metal box. His father is at the sink when he returns, washing his hands from the muck and oil the car had sullied him with. When his hands are scrubbed to his meticulous satisfaction, Levi takes the box, unlocks it with the tiniest key on his belt loop and hands two twenties to his son.

“Go with Isabel to the Sandwich Company and bring us back some lunch. Want to put the cash box back and then write down our order?” Levi asks, handing his son the metal box, now locked. Eagerly nodding, Eren receives the almighty important cash box before scampering back to the tidy and well organized office, producing pen and paper.

“Ready!” He calls, pen poised over the notepad. Levi nods to Farlan.

“A Chicago on rye with extra sauerkraut, extra hot and sweet mustard, pickles on the side.”

Levi shudders, shaking his head at his disgusting best friend. “Great. Uncle Farlan intends to stink bomb us all afternoon.”

Cackling as he carefully writes the order out, Eren makes them wait a minute longer. “Chips or soda, Uncle Farlan?”

“Nah, we got our soda machine.”

“Okay. Dad, do you want your usual?”

Levi pauses, his mouth open but made silent by Eren's question. “I have a usual?”

“Chicken salad on a kaiser roll, add avocado.” Eren recites. “And iced tea.”

Rolling his eyes at his own predictability, Levi nods as he says, “You got me, kid. Now put that money in your pocket and don't take it out again until you order. OK?”

“Roger that,” Eren calls, carefully folding the crisp bills inside the paper with their order and sticking them deep into his front pocket.

“I should tell Armin about the Sandwich Company!” Eren declares as he takes Isabel's hand and leads the way out to her motorcycle, swinging his helmet beside him.

“Yeah!” Isabel chirps agreeably as they set out on their errand.

Once the younger two are gone, Farlan's earlier chuckling bubbles to full throated laughter.

“Sometimes I can see the pain in your eyes; the hardship that is being an introverted parent to an extremely extroverted son.”

Levi shrugs as he takes down the clipboard with the Chevy's paperwork, going over the notes from their client and adding his own. “It’s not so bad. I learned to tune out the rambling as best I can and sift for the important bits.” Setting the clipboard on its hook again, Levi pauses between his morose thoughts to say aloud, “I'm just happy Eren has a friend.”

“Aw, you can't fool me for a second,” Farlan chides as he takes up the tools Levi had been working with and begins to clean them off. “You're terrified the shine of newness is going to wear off and once the weekend is over this kid is going to give Eren the cold shoulder.”

Remaining statuesque in his expression if not his height is Levi's defense against those who knew him least, but his oldest and closest friend calls his bluff correctly.

Levi acknowledges his friends assessment of his true turmoil with a slight nod. “Petrified.”

“What do his teachers have to say about the friendship?”

“I haven’t spoken to them yet, but next Wednesday is Back to School Night. I’m sure they’ll fill me in at that time.”

“Who knows,” Farlan jokes, “Maybe you’ll even get to meet the Awesomely Astoundingly Amazing Armin Smith!”

* * *

Levi feels the familiar tug of Eren’s little hand in his, trying to escape him as they enter the main blacktop and playground of Emerson School. Levi pulls back, not quite ready to let his son dart off with the other children, leaving Levi at the mercy of the other parents.

“Dad?” Eren says curiously, tugging at his father’s hand.

“Sorry,” Levi murmurs, though he keeps his son close even as he stares down the happy, smiling faces of these irrevocably affable foes. God, he hates Back to School Night. “Hey, kid, let’s cut out as soon as we can and go get tacos, okay?” Levi prays the bribe of their favorite taco truck would encourage his son to leave in a timely manner. Or sooner.

“Look, there’s Marco!” Eren points to a gaggle of kids at the opposite end of the playground. “I don’t see Armin yet…I hope he shows up. Can I go play with Marco?”

Sighing, Levi looks down at his son and mentally chides himself for being so immature.

“Of course, baby,” Levi replies, relinquishing Eren’s hand.

“I’m _not_ a baby!” Eren hisses under his breath before dashing off to join the other kids. No matter how hot and cold Eren ran with the other kids, every child seemed to put away their petty differences to revel in the joy of being at school at night.

As he watches his son being enveloped by the hoard of gleeful pupils, Levi does not notice the woman descending upon him until it is too late.

“There you are!” She cries in mock disapproval even as she clings to his arm and leads him towards the sign-in table. “I’ve been manning the door by my lonesome just waiting for you to show up! I ought to mark you tardy.” She does a double-take over her shoulder and titters at his make-up. “Gracious, I’ve never quite seen that shade of red used as eyeliner before!”

Biting back a scathing retort, Levi lets her drag him back towards the entrance.

“I hope Eren is already here,” Armin says, clinging to his father as they queue up behind other parents to sign-in for the Back to School Night. He wasn’t going to tag along with his dad, but the newsletter Erwin received encouraged Emerson parents to bring their children. When Eren brought it up, Armin had promised to meet up with him.

“Why don’t you go look for him, Armin?” Erwin asks, gently nudging his son towards the playground. “The other children are playing.”

“No…I’m sure he will see me.” Armin insists hesitantly, his blue eyes scanning for the familiar sonic boom of a little boy.

Erwin only half-hears his son, as he is distracted by a surly man in a black leather jacket with a fine line of wing-tipped crimson eyeliner and gunmetal colored nail polish sitting at the sign-in desk, blandly chucking name tags at incoming parents as an unwavering cheerful mother sits next him, chatting away as she ticks the names off a list.

“Poppa!” Armin gasps, suddenly tugging the much taller man downward. “I see Eren!” He looks up for approval to leave his father’s side, zooming off at the slightest incline of Erwin’s head.

“The kids act as if they weren’t here just a few hours ago,” Erwin observes jovially to the coupled parents he stands between.

The woman in front of him turns around and comments, “There is something magical, even kind of naughty, about being at the school after hours with no desk work or real structure to it.”

“Like _Lord of the Flies_ ,” the man at the sign-in table chimes in.

“Sans pig head worshiping savagery,” Erwin chuckles, trying to ease the discomfort the other man’s comment left on the mother in front of him.

“Night’s not over yet,” grumbles the surly parent.

Palpable disapproval from the other parents shoots in Erwin’s direction as he snorts.

“So!” The man in front of Erwin abruptly changes the subject, looking beyond Erwin at the woman sitting next to the curmudgeonly man. “We haven’t seen much of you over the summer, Grace. How was your vacation?”

“Fabulous! Joseph was in Croatia filming, so the kids and I mostly explored the beach by our rental. They got bored, of course, so we took a little side trip to the north of Italy and over to Austria.”

“Austria,” the other woman sighs. “We took the kids on _The Sound of Music_ tour when we were there for Easter three years ago. I’ve been dying to return.”

Feeling like an unwanted partition, Erwin awkwardly avoids further conversation where he is clearly uninvited, despite being forced to eavesdrop. His eyes lock with the surly looking man. Is that pity or amusement in his steel grey eyes?

“We promised to explore new regions every year,” the father in front of him says. “Introduce new cultures, languages, and experiences to the kids. We took them to Iceland this year. Let me tell you, those hot springs? You’ll never want to leave.”

“We’ll have to look into that!” Grace says as they move forward in line, waiting for their name tag stickers.

“So, Levi. What did you and your boy get up to this summer?”

Levi can never prove one-hundred percent that these parents are setting him up; they seem authentically curious in their blithe ignorance, wealth and privilege having removed them from the notion that a middle class family could infiltrate their coddled, small teacher-to-student ratio cabal.

“Hiking, fishing, playing in the sprinklers,” Levi replies, letting his tone display his disinterest in the conversation.

“Playing in the sprinklers!” The mother coos. “A truly classic summertime activity. I don’t think my kids have ever seen those old sprinklers I grew up with.”

“It’s nice to get back to basics,” The man adds in a tone that straddles agreeable and patronizing, causing Levi to shift uncomfortably in his chair. In another life, he would not have tolerated such a tone, or even allowed himself to be in such close proximity to these sorts of people. He has Eren to think about, though, and years of practiced patience already behind him. Nevertheless, his patience can still be tested.  
  


Erwin is too busy trying to remain invisible that he does not notice the line of parents before him dissipate until a voice snaps, “Name?!”

“Huh. Oh. Erwin Smith.”

“We’re a cosy little family here at Emerson,” the woman with the list states in an ear-grating sing-song voice. “I would remember you; you must be new to Emerson.”

“Yes,” Erwin agrees, not wishing to hold up the queue with idle chatter. A sticker tag with his name pre-printed on it is idly thrown in his direction from the saturnine man in black. “Thank you,” Erwin says as he peels away the backing and affixes the sticker to his shirt. He receives a grunt in response before moving on.  
  


* * *

  
The evening quickly gets underway as school director Zoe Hange gives a small speech about the philosophy on which Emerson built its foundation on, overall goals for the school year, statistics to help families ease the hole in their wallet where tuition once was, and words of wisdom before sending the parents off on a self-guided tour of the school. 

  
Once Levi is relieved of his duties, he leaps up and makes a beeline for Eren’s classroom. He just wants this evening to be over already. Heavy traffic in the hallway prevents his plans for a quick stop in, however, and Levi finds himself meandering around the labyrinthine corridors until he finally comes upon a gaggle of parents listening to a woman dressed in flowing paisley and Mandala print clothing. He hangs back against the wall just outside the classroom, fashioned as a performing arts studio, listening to the woman’s airy voice.

“I will be working along with our physical education teacher instructing your children in the kinetic arts, specifically dance and yoga. Samba, flamenco, ballroom, and modern are just a sampling of what we will be practicing this year.”

A low voice murmurs close to him, “It’s almost worth the tuition fee to have a photo of my son square dancing in full hoe-down regalia. Blackmail material should not stop after mortifying baby pictures.”

Despite himself, Levi gives a soft snort of laughter, just loud enough for the man to notice and exchange devious smiles with him. Levi vaguely recognizes the man, Erwin according to his name tag, from the registration line. He is handsome in that all-American chiseled way that makes Levi’s blood boil for a myriad of reasons. Erwin had laughed at Levi’s Lord of the Flies crack, though, which gives him an edge over the other parents in Levi’s eyes.

“Of course,” Erwin goes on in hushed tones, “our boys are quite fortunate to have this luxury. The kind of school I went to as a kid, boys were roughed up for indulging in anything remotely artistic.”

Levi nods. “Same.”

“Not to knock the arts,” Erwin murmurs so only the shorter man hears him, “but with the amount of tuition we’re shelling out every year, you’d think the electives would be a bit more…”

“Innovative?” Levi offers with a slight smirk.

“Precisely! Robotics, culinary arts, boating; each kid starts off with their own skiff and works their way up to a mini pirate ship per class. They have to design it, build it, sails and all, assign positions and she has to be seaworthy.”

“You spent too much time at the Renaissance Faire,” Levi scoffs as he and Erwin fall a few steps behind the crowd shuffling over to the next room. “Unless my kid is going to be the next Fred fucking Astaire, he can forget it. I’d love for him to be able to follow his heart into a career of dancing back-up for Lady GaGa or the 2020 cast of CATS, but as I’ve explained to him: Daddy doesn’t have a retirement fund and his only child is going to have to pull in at least one-hundred thousand a year to be able to take care of daddy when he is old and infirm.”

Erwin chortles appreciatively at the jest and adds, "I see. You want the retirement home that actually gives you the correct medication and _doesn't_ rifle through your personal possessions."  
  
"It's asking a lot, I know, but I have grown accustomed to a certain standard of living."  
  
They have unknowingly wandered into the computer room where Mr. Kitt is showing off the latest and great technologies Emerson had acquired. Frowning, Levi turns to go. “Kitt can’t find his ass with both hands; I’m gonna split.”

Erwin is quick to change direction with the man with the crimson eyeliner. “Would you show me back to the courtyard? I overheard that’s where they’re keeping the food and I’m starving.”

Levi shoots the man an incredulous look. “Don’t tell me you sincerely thought they would feed us?”

“Well,” Erwin replies contritely. “The flyer did say appetizers and beverages.”

“They get that shit in bulk at Food for Less. Not even Costco. It’s crap.” Levi shakes his head in disbelief. “They only give us the good stuff when it’s a potluck, or they hit us up for money, or have some function where the kids can’t tag along.”

“My son is going to give me the biggest I told you so speech.”

“You must be new here,” Levi observes.

“Guilty,” Erwin replies, then, emboldened to add, “And you’re not like any of the other parents I’ve met so far. Eyeliner notwithstanding.” Though the other man is not wearing a nametag, Erwin recalls his name from the queue earlier. “Levi, right?”

“I haven’t drank the Flavor Aid, if that’s what you mean,” Levi snarks. “And yes.”

“Speaking of which, would you like some punch?” Erwin asks as they approach the bulk finger food buffet.

“Punch,” Levi huffs, his lips twitching upwards. “Where’s my corsage? Should I brace myself for a grope in a darkened corner?”

“Excuse me?” Erwin laughs nervously, ladle in one hand, empty cup in another.

Lesser men would be embarrassed by their unfunny jokes, but Levi merely stares at Erwin as if he were incapable of comprehending basic humor.

“Forget it. Yeah, sure, pour me some. I can use it as a prop to get away from conversations I don’t want to be part of.”

“You’re not much of a fan of this school, are you, Levi?”

It isn’t accusatory, and for that Levi rewards the man with the truth. “Are you kidding? Give me a pleated mini-skirt and some pom poms; I’m Emerson’s number one fucking fan.” He takes a swig of punch, grimaces and draws out a small silver flask from the inside pocket of his leather jacket. Spinning the silver cap loose with the pad of his thumb, Levi elaborates his thoughts. “This school is going to be my kid’s ticket to a better future; a future that a public school education can’t provide.” Levi tips the flask until a smidgen of clear liquid trickles into his cup. “My son can be anybody he wants to be here, and nobody is gonna knock him on his ass for it.” He offers up the flask to the other man.

“No, thank you,” Erwin politely waves away the offer. “I haven’t eaten.”

“That’s right,” Levi mumbles, capping the flask and tucking it away.

“Are you always his abrasive at school functions?”

“You call this abrasive?” Levi muses with mild beguilement, taking a sip of his vodka laced punch. “Damn. I thought I had this mingling shit down.”

 _Or flirting?_ a voice dares in the back of Erwin’s head, though the single father quickly squelches it.

“Are you here alone tonight?”

“No, my kid is running around here somewhere.” Levi makes a vague gesture with his cup, indicating the school premise.

“Oh, right,” Erwin mutters with an embarrassed breath of laughter, looking away briefly as he loses his nerve to clarify the question.

Levi freezes, studying the man as he suddenly looks away from him. _Did I miss something? He asked me a point blank question and I gave him a fucking point blank answer._ It takes Levi a mortifyingly long moment to realize what Erwin was asking by ‘alone’. _He’s just making conversation, small talk,_ Levi tells himself. _Why else would a hot piece of ass talk to me?_ Levi looks down at his cup.

“I should go to my son’s classroom,” Levi abruptly announces.

“Oh. Alright.”

“You need me to leave a trail of breadcrumbs for you to find your way somewhere?”

“Now that you mention it,” Erwin confesses sheepishly, “I need to visit Miss Rico's room.”

“I’m headed that way,” Levi replies with a nod and a step ahead.

“I’ll learn my way eventually,” Erwin vows as he follows the other man. “It will not do my son any favors to have his father making a regular habit of mistaking a janitor’s closet for his classroom. Plus, Zoe will give me hell for it.”

“Ms. Zoe?” Levi inquires. “The director?”

“Yes. She convinced me to enroll my son here.”

“You mean she badgered and pestered you until you caved in.”

“Yes,” Erwin confirms with a chortle.

“Sounds like you two will get along, though, and that’s good. As weird as she is, it’s good to have her in your corner.”

“Oh, I know,” Erwin replies. “Thankfully, Zoe has more often than not always been in my corner. There was a quarter during our sophomore year when she loathed the person I was squiring around. I think the six weeks of vindictive silence came from the bad haircut I sported at the time, though.”

Levi abruptly stops and shoots Erwin a quizzically suspicious stare. “You went to school with the director?”

“Since kindergarten. She was the weird kid whose clothes never matched and I was the Lacoste polo shirt kid. We were like peanut butter and marshmallow fluff.”

Levi’s glare remains fixed and ominous, crimson framing the steel color of his irises, sending the hairs on the back of Erwin’s neck prickling.

“Miss Rico's classroom is down that way,” Levi directs icily, nodding his head down a corridor just up ahead of them. 

“Levi, did I,”

Levi throws his cup of punch away with a ferocity that gives Erwin a start, cutting off his words.

“I have to go talk to my kid’s teacher and sign up for some more volunteer hours. Word of advice: get them out of the way as soon as possible or else you’ll be hawking crappy baked goods at the ass-crack of dawn on a Sunday morning in Runyon Canyon.”

“Alright,” Erwin starts, still somewhat shocked as the shorter man stalks away. “Thanks…”

 _Of course he knows the director. They all know someone._ Levi thinks contemptuously, letting his prejudice get the better of him as he begins to cool off in the hallway, waiting an appropriate amount of time before he doubles back down the hall.  
  
Wandering into Mr. Hannes’ classroom, Levi beelines to check out Eren’s desk when Mr. Hannes pulls him aside.

“Levi, can we speak?”

Levi feels a leaden weight drop in his stomach. It’s only the second week of school - how can Eren be off track so quickly?

“Wow, you look so serious!” Hannes barks with a laugh, elbowing Levi lightly in the ribs. “Loosen up, this is good news.”

“Oh, yeah?” Levi inquires warily.

“I’m sure you’re aware that Eren has made a friend?”

“Oh,” Levi breathes, relief visible. “Yeah, Armin. He’s all Eren talks about.”

Hannes nods approvingly. “Yes. They have been wonderful for each other. Have you had a chance to meet Armin?”

“Not yet.”

“He came to us with much anxiety about fitting in, as a newcomer to Emerson as well as to America. On the surface he seemed shy, insecure and rather vulnerable. As it turns out, he’s just as tenacious as Eren, in his own quiet way, and though at first glance they appear to be quite the opposite of one another, those two have balanced each other out very nicely. Eren’s focus has remained on point, and he’s been a lot lighter, easier to relaxation and joy.”

“I have noticed a spring in his step,” Levi admits, unwilling to divulge that his son is nearly bouncing off the walls with joy from his new friendship.

“Rico and I were talking of moving Armin into my classroom, but we’re concerned that might be an overabundance of time spent together, as they both hit their groove rather nicely as it is.”

“It wouldn’t be wise so new into the friendship,” Levi nods. “I don’t want Eren’s focus to be compromised, nor do I want him to inadvertently get Armin into trouble.”

“I don’t want to jinx anything of course, but I really think this friendship could be a game changer for Eren.”

“We’ll see,” Levi allows, taking a more conservative opinion on such a fresh camaraderie. Still, his heart and shoulders feel lighter when Mr. Hannes gives him the clearance to leave. Heading out to the playground, Levi scans the yard for Eren. It is too dark to make out which ragamuffin is his, so he puts his ring finger and thumb into his mouth and gives one screeching, ear-splitting tweet of a whistle.

“Here I am!” Eren calls, dashing out of the shadows encasing the playground.

“You ready to leave?” Levi asks as he runs his long fingers through Eren’s hair.

“Sure. Just let me say goodbye to Armin. Oh, here he is!”

“Are you leaving, Eren?” Armin inquires, huffing breathlessly as if he had just run a marathon.

“Yes,” Eren replies. “Here, meet my dad.” Eren gently tugs the smaller boy forward.

“Armin, right?” Levi nods to the other child.

“Hello,” the little blonde fellow replies, putting his free hand out for Levi to shake. “How do you do?”

“I do alright,” Levi replies bemusedly, accepting the hand, beguiled to find the handshake as firm a one as a petite eight year old boy could muster.

“You should meet my Poppa, too,” Armin says, suddenly turning about as if searching for a lost puppy. Both boys dash off in search of the elusive Mr. Smith, leaving Levi to tap his leather boot impatiently. Just as he is about to set off on his own quest of search and rescue, he catches sight of three shadows in an open doorway - two children and a rather broad and statuesque adult. Levi sets across the blacktop to retrieve his son, uncaring at this point in the night if he meets Armin’s poppa or not.

“Poppa, meet Eren,” Armin’s proper, muddled accent rings out in the patchy darkness of the playground.

“Hello, Eren. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Levi’s step quickens as he vaguely recognizes the voice.

“Hello, sir,” Eren says, sticking out his hand just as his daddy taught him.

The trio soon comes into view; Levi’s eye twitches as he recognizes the strapping blond man from earlier; Erwin.  
  
  
Erwin Smith.  
  


_Of fucking course._


	3. Hammer to Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'What the hell are we fighting for?  
> Ah, just surrender and it won't hurt at all  
> You just got time to say your prayers  
> Yeah, while you're waiting for the hammer to, hammer to fall'
> 
> \- QUEEN (Hammer to Fall)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you would like to read the EXPLICIT rating of this fanfic, please look at the series page for the Unabridged version. Thank you!

“I don’t know why I was so fucking pissed off at the guy when I first met him. Well, not when I first, _first_ met him, but after we got talking and he casually dropped that he and the director have been chums since they were in diapers or something.”

“What’s a director?” Farlan asks as he pops open the hood of the 1949 Cadillac in their garage. “Like cruise director for a ship?”

“It’s the Emerson hippie terminology for principal.”

“Right.”

“I guess I’d convinced myself Ms. Zoe is different, above all that,” Levi rants, pausing from the paperwork for their current client. “The waiting list applies to everyone, man, everyone. I’ve seen siblings of older kids get waitlisted. Why should this guy be any different?”

Farlan chortles from behind the hood. “You are so full of shit. You know exactly why you’re pissed. You think this guy is hot, and god forbid you’re attracted to someone who's a total tool, or worse, part of that silver spooned world.”

“And he’s Armin’s dad,” Levi reminds Farlan.

“I don’t think that bugs you as much as you’re trying to convince yourself it does.”

Levi loathes it when Farlan hits the nail on the head. A long, tense pause follows before Levi replies, “You’ve known me too long.”

“Well, I know you in more than one context. And I know you wouldn’t be half as pissy about this dude if you didn’t think he was hot.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Levi is in no mood to hear hard truths.

“It’s true. I mean, hey,” Farlan peeks around the hood, batting his eyelashes, “you do have a thing for blondes.”

Unable to contradict Farlan’s taunt, Levi settles for shooting his friend a warning glare instead. This only makes the blonde laugh harder.

“Do we need to go trolling for guys so you can get your rocks off, then?”  
  
“No, it hasn’t come to that,” Levi scoffs, eyeing his friend from his peripherals. “Though I wouldn’t say no to a night of drunken Mario Kart and a flick I can’t watch with Eren.”

Farlan snorts. “Why, Levi, I do believe you are trying to seduce me.”

“I don’t need to try,” Levi counters. “You’re easy enough.” A somber shadow crosses his face as he bows his head. “He may not be a total tool. I don’t know him well enough to really judge him.”

“When has that ever stopped you from judging people before?”

Farlan ducks as Levi launches a pile of oily rags in his direction.   
  


* * *

  
“Do you want to come over and play this weekend?” Eren asks as he and Armin flip through an atlas borrowed from Ms. Rico.

“Play what?” Armin asks without looking up from the detailed map of Asia.

Eren shrugs. “Anything. I have board games, toys, dress up, and a tire swing and fort in my backyard. My dad sometimes lets me take his CD player out there so I can listen to music when I play.”

“What is a tire swing?” Armin inquires, finally looking up from the atlas.

“It’s a big, old tire hanging from a greeeeeaaaaaaaat big tree with really heavy rope and chains holding it up. It’s so much fun, Armin! You’ll love it.”

Armin does not look completely convinced, but forces a smile. His father is always encouraging him to try new things. This would be a new thing.

“Sounds fun. I’ll ask my poppa.”

A commotion draws the boys attention and they look over to see someone rattling the back security gate, trying to get in.

“Oy!” A loud female voice shouts from the other side. “What is this, a school or a prison? Where’s me ducks at?”

“Sasha!” Armin cries, immediately leaving the picnic table to dash towards the gate where a harassed looking teacher stands, uncertain if the boisterous woman on the other side is insane or not. “Sasha, you’re here!”

“Oy, that’s me ducks callin’,” Sasha informs the teacher through the gate.

“Sasha!” Armin shouts again eagerly, his arms outstretched and waiting as his nanny is admitted on school property. With a swoosh, Armin is lifted off the ground and swung around. “Poppa didn’t say you were collecting me!”

“Nah,” Sasha answers as she gently slides him down to his feet. “Wanted to keep it a surprise, innit?” She ruffles his downy soft hair. “Sorry took me so long to get here. Them twats at immigration kept givin’ me the run around, burying me and your poor dad in paperwork.” She scoffs. “Do they think I’m a terrorist or sommin’? Look at me;” She gestures at her skimpy denim skirt and tank top, “Where would _I_ hide a bomb? Me knickers?”

Armin giggles at his profane nanny before remembering himself. “Oh! Sasha, I want you to meet someone.” Turning, he sees that Eren had tentatively followed him over, standing just far enough away to observe the pair. “Sasha, this is my new friend, Eren. Eren, this is my nanny, Sasha.”

“‘Ello, Eren,” Sasha greets cheerfully, giving Eren a pinch on his cheek, careful that her neon blue and pink nails don’t scratch him.

“Hello, Miss Sasha,” Eren replies shyly, feeling hot in his cheeks.

“I can show you the sign out process,” the schoolyard teacher offers.

“I have to collect my books,” Armin tells his nanny, encouraging her to go with the teacher.

“Be right back, ducks.”

“Ducks?” Eren asks, amused when Armin’s cheeks flush a rosy tint.

“Her nickname for me.”

Eren assists Armin in sorting his books and sticking those that fit in his bag and piling up the rest for the petite blond to manually haul.

“I’ll ask my poppa about this weekend,” Armin promises. “Shall I phone you?”

“Sure.”

“All done!” Sasha announces as she returns to the yard and holds out her hand for Armin to take. “Say toodle-oo to your mate?”

“Goodbye, Eren,” Armin says, looking over his shoulder. “See you tomorrow.”

“Laters, Eren!” Sasha waves and winks at the other boy before devoting all of her attention to her young charge. “Dare I inquire what your dad has been feeding youse?”

“Best not to ask,” Armin advises.  
  


* * *

“Eren…” Levi’s voice has a subtle warning in it, but Eren is too eager to notice or care.

“Daaaaaad!” Eren calls from the living room, kneeling backwards on the couch as he peeps out the front windows. “Armin will be here any minute!”

“That is no reason to tromp through my nice clean house with those shoes, little monster.”

“I know,” Eren pouts, only half paying his father any attention as his eyes remain fixed on their driveway.

Sighing, Levi takes another sip of his favorite loose leaf black tea, a moment’s peace before his son squeals with elation and begins shouting, “He’s here, dad! Armin’s here!”

Before Levi has a chance to put his teacup down Eren is already zooming out the front door and welcoming his new friend to casa de Ackerman.

“...Come on, Armin, let me show you my room! Oh, we have to take off our shoes. You can put them here.” Four clunks onto the hardwood floor before two sets of feet scurry down the hallway, with both boys chattering away.

Levi thinks that’s the end of that before he hears a light knock on his door and a call from a familiar voice. “Hello?”

“Shit,” Levi mumbles, getting up from the kitchen table to investigate. He finds Erwin standing at the threshold of his wide open front door, the sun behind him, in all of his six foot two glory. Levi wants to gag from how gorgeous the man is. Blissfully, his poker face remains true. “They leave you high and dry, huh, Smith?”

“Your son doesn’t moonlight as The Flash, does he?” Erwin teases.

“Yeah, he’s, uh,” Levi mumbles, noting how stupidly perfect Erwin’s teeth are when he smiles, and scratches an invisible itch above his ear. “Excitable.”

“I envy his exuberance,” Erwin admits. “All of the little joys in life we take for granted as adults. It’s also nice to see Armin indulging in excitability that has to do with a social interaction. Eren has been a good influence on him.”

Just as Levi opens his mouth to reply, Katy Perry’s _Teenage Dream_ blares from the back of the house. The shorter man winces before he diverts the direction of his comment. “You were saying?”

“Not your taste, I’m guessing.”

“All Eren wanted for Christmas last year was the latest Lady GaGa album.”

Erwin raises his hands in sympathy. “Armin’s nanny has me listening to Lily Allen on the regular. Sometimes one cannot resist the power of the popstar.”

“Yeah, I think we have one of her CDs kicking around,” Levi says, desperate to move the conversation to its’ end and get the man out of his house before he says something utterly regrettable. “Does Armin have any food allergies?”

“Pardon?”

“Food allergies, Smith.” Levi makes a dismissive gesture with his hand. “Peanuts, gluten, soy, meat, air, water, cheese, whatever.”

“Oh, no, not at all.” Erwin laughs humorlessly. “His nanny would be in quite the fix. I’m sending her to culinary school here in Pasadena, so I imagine there will be a lot of interesting and varied concoctions in our kitchen. Well. More than usual.”

Levi blinks hard, impressed and bewildered. “That’s generous.”

“Armin won’t be her charge forever,” Erwin explains, “and she has a knack for cooking. I’m certainly not going to get any better in the kitchen; may as well have someone who not only knows what they’re doing, but actually enjoys it.”

“Right,” Levi replies, the only retort he can think of before changing the subject altogether. “So, grilled cheese and tomato soup?”

“Perfect.”

“OK. Well, I should…” Levi knows he has nothing especially pressing, but thankfully the blaring music inspires him. “Go check on the boys.”

“Right.” Erwin pauses, debating briefly if he ought to express his thoughts before throwing caution to the wind and asking, “Why do you call me Smith?”

“Erwin is a grandpa name,” Levi answers, unapologetically blunt.

Erwin nearly busts a gut laughing. “Fair play, fair play. All right.” He holds up a friendly hand in farewell. “Call me if you have any issues.”

Levi nearly slams the door as soon as Erwin turns to leave.

* * *

Between loads of laundry and dusting, Levi periodically checks in on the boys, who made their way to the backyard shortly after Eren’s grand tour of the house.

“Do you like it?” Levi overhears his son ask Armin. Looking up from folding the towels, Levi spies Armin white-knuckling it on the tire swing, Eren gently pushing and twirling him by the chains holding it up.

“Yeah...it’s kind of fun,” Armin admits.

Ditching his laundry momentarily, Levi picks up his cell phone and quietly exits the mud room, sneaking softly up to the boys until he is in a close enough range to stealthily film a quick video of what appears to be Armin’s first time on a tire swing.

“What are you going to be for Halloween?” Eren asks Armin as he arranges their bodies so they can both sit on the tire, totally oblivious to his shutterbug father.

“I’m not sure,” Armin confesses as they softly rock the big wheel back and forth. “I’ve only ever been to two Halloween parties.”

“I’m going to dress up like a dinosaur and go trick-or-treating with my dad. You can come, too.”

Levi rolls his eyes. Pleased though he is that his son has a friend, Levi recognizes the time to teach his son to ask permission prior to inviting people out willy-nilly has arrived.

“Can I be anyone, or anything? Even if it’s not scary a costume? Even a real person?”

“Anything!” Eren insists.

Armin looks upward in contemplation, prompting Levi to seize the opportunity and fire off his camera phone. Levi intends to share the photos with the other father, of course. There is always something new about Eren every day, something more miraculous than the day before, and Levi wants to capture all of it before he blinks and finds his baby boy all grown up. Hopefully Smith holds similar sentiments.

* * *

That afternoon of tire swings and pop music opens the gates for Eren and Armin’s friendship to continue to grow outside of school. By the following Monday, Armin returns the invitation for Eren to play at his home the following weekend.

“I can’t wait,” Eren confesses to his father, his excitement barely containable by that Friday evening as Levi tucks his son into bed. “Should I bring some of my stuff over? I don’t think Armin has many toys and definitely no dress ups.”

“Why would you think that?” Levi asks as he searches the tangled sheets for Eren’s Mickey Mouse doll.

“He only talks about his telescope and library,” Eren answers. “But he said to bring my swim trunks.”

“There’s a pool?” Levi muses as he pulls the blankets up to Eren’s collarbone. This is news his son conveniently forgot to share with him when initially asking permission to go to Armin’s house. Not that his son is incapable of swimming, but the lack of regular experience in the water gives Levi pause for concern.

“Uh huh,” Eren replies with a great yawn.

Once he finds the well loved plush toy, Levi gently lays Mickey against Eren’s chest. As he watches Eren automatically clutch at the famous Disney character and pop his thumb into his mouth, Levi brushes back unruly fringe and bends to kiss his forehead.

“Goodnight, precious boy,” Levi whispers.

Eren has already rolled onto his side, curling up as he murmurs sleepily, “G’night, Daddy.”

As he brushes his teeth a short while later, Levi sees his cell phone buzzing with a flurry of text messages from a number he does not have in his Contacts. Enraged at the thought of spammers, he enters his security code to delete them when he catches his own name.

 **[Unknown]** Hello, Levi. This is Erwin Smith, Armin’s dad.

Choking with astonishment, Levi retches up spearmint toothpaste and completes his task before continuing to read the texts. Damn that parent directory! Levi mentally curses. It was the only explanation for the other father possessing his personal cell phone number rather than the landline.

 **[Erwin]** I am sorry for texting so late, but I thought it best over phoning.

 **[Erwin]** Armin invited Eren to play with my permission, but the pool was his own idea. I know some parents become nervous with their children around pools.

 **[Erwin]** I am one of those parents myself. Which is why Sasha has been lifeguard trained and CPR certified. I do not know what Eren’s swimming level is, and did not want to ask you when he might be awake in case he is embarrassed. Armin is not a strong swimmer and embarrassed about it. That he even suggested swimming shocked the hell out of me, but in a good way.

 **[Erwin]** I have rambled enough for one evening. I just wanted to put any stress you may have about the pool at ease.

Levi quickly hits reply on his phone and texts his response as fast as he can, which is as strong as Armin can swim from the sound of it.

 **[Levi]** Thanks Smith appreciate it

 **[Erwin]** Not a problem. :)

Levi snorts. _Did the man seriously just send me a smiley face?_

* * *

The following day, Levi finds himself not two miles from their own house but he may as well be on Mars for all the difference in affluence and ostentatious of the neighborhood.

“Wooooow!” Eren hoots as soon as Levi pulls into the U-bend driveway, an area that could easily park five luxury vehicles. “Armin lives here, can you believe it? It’s so big!”

“You see houses like this all over town,” Levi grouches as he takes off his helmet and rests it on his seat.

“Yeah, but I’ve never been inside one,” Eren counters, leaving his helmet inside the sidecar and taking his bag. “Come on, dad!” Eren does not wait for his father as he races up onto the porch and rings the doorbell. Eren can hear it echo from inside.

Armin whips open the door only two seconds later, beaming from ear to ear.

“Hello!”

As Levi casually approaches the front door, he sees a young woman run up behind Armin. She is wearing a polka-dot bikini top and tattered shorts.

“Is your friend here, ducks? ‘Ello, Eren!” She chirps upon recognizing the brunet.

“Hello, Miss Sasha,” Eren replies in his most polite voice, with a slight singsong Levi notes with amusement. Oh, dear. His son’s first crush.

“Did you bring your swim clothes?” Armin asks.

“I can’t believe it’s the beginning of October and it’s still hot enough to swim,” Sasha laughs.

“Hello, hello!” A revoltingly familiar voice echos from within the house before Erwin appears. “Don’t just stand there, come on in.”

“Let me show you around,” Armin says, taking Eren by the hand and tugging him away into the spacious dwelling.

“Armin, ask your mate if he wants something to drink,” Sasha calls as she trails after them, leaving Levi to awkwardly stand in the imposing foyer with the other father. Hands shoved deep in his pockets, Levi turns his phone over and over in his hand as he looks anywhere but directly at Erwin.

“Thanks for having Eren over,” Levi mumbles. “He doesn’t get to swim too often.” He hesitates before adding, “And for giving me the heads up.”

“Think nothing of it,” Erwin waves off Levi’s gratitude. “We’re happy to have Eren over, and it’s the courteous thing to do anyway since you initiated the first - what are these called? Play dates?”

Rolling his eyes with a snort, Levi grouses, “Yeah. Ridiculous. Oh. Hey.” He removes his phone from his pocket and holds it up. “Speaking of which, do you have an email address?”

Erwin blinks at that. “Yes. Business or personal?”

“Personal, I guess. I took some photos and a couple of videos of the boys last week. They’re on my phone. I’ve been meaning to offer to send them to you, but, uh, this is the first time I’ve seen you since then. Anyway, I can email them to you on Monday when I get back to my computer at work.”

“Oh, brilliant! I should have Sasha take some photos of them playing together today.”

“If it’s not any trouble. Eren grows so fast.”

“It’s no trouble. And you don’t have to email the photos to me. If you have a few minutes, I can just transfer them to my computer directly.”

“You can do what?” Levi asks, unfamiliar with anything beyond email and a basic Google search.

“May I?” Erwin holds out his hand and Levi places his phone in the palm. “Oh, yes. I have a cord for this model. Not a problem. So much easier and less inconvenient for you, too.”

“Uh, okay.”

“Here, come on up to my office.”

  
Hunching over as he follows the blithe homeowner like a burglar at an open house, Levi keeps his face perfectly blank until they reach Erwin’s office. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he notes a lack of family photos on the walls. The complete opposite of his own home, Levi wonders if Erwin and Armin are merely lagging with the unpacking and decorating, or if such mementos are just not to their taste.   
  


_Who doesn’t have photos up of their own kid?_ A particularly nasty voice whispers in the back of Levi’s mind, trying to encourage unequivocally neutral feelings towards the other parent and squelch all budding attraction. He does not trust the man who does not display photographs of his children.   
  
The office is a room twice the size of Levi’s bedroom with a multitude of large screen computers, printers, gadgets Levi does not recognize, ergonomic accessories, and customized shelving and furnishings to sufficiently give Levi the distinct impression Erwin Smith might work with computers.

“This isn’t an office,” Levi observes, “it’s a space station.”

Erwin chuckles modestly. “Yes, I suppose it is a little techno-crazy.”

“What do you _do_ , exactly?”

“Programming, but a lot of my work nowadays is consulting and management.”

Levi makes a noncommittal noise as he eyeballs all of the foreign doodads and electronics in the room. There are at least framed posters to counteract the sterility of the abundance of technology, mostly electro, ebm and experimental progressive rock bands from the 70s, 80s and 90s.

“You like Oingo Boingo, Smith?” Levi comments as he stares up at a framed and signed poster from a Halloween Concert given in 1983, the image of a sketched Tim Burton-esque looking creature at its center.

“Danny Elfman has the voice of a golden god,” Erwin replies dryly as he rummages through immaculately organized drawers until he finds the cord. “Aha. Here we are.”

Curious, Levi observes as the tech-savvy man connects cell phone and computer and brings up a folder containing all of photos and videos stored on Levi’s device.

“I don’t want to rummage through your personal folders,” Erwin says, lifting up out of his computer chair. “So have a look, and just copy the photos and videos you want me to have and paste them on my Desktop. I’ll sort them later.”

“Uhhhhh,” Levi slides into the leather chair and prays he can follow those instructions. His eye catches on a digital photo frame to the side of the obscenely sized monitor; photos of father, son and sometimes nanny slide in and out of a sleek silver frame. It heartens Levi’s mood in a way he doesn’t want to deal with, though this does nothing for his current dilemma. After staring blankly at the monitor for a few moments, Levi looks up at the other man and suggests, “How about I just point to the photos and you can copy and paste? I’ve nothing to hide on here; it’s all Eren, my friends, cars, and the cats.”

“All right,” Erwin reclaims his seat and follows Levi’s soft spoken instructions on which images are for sharing. “Oh, these are great!” Erwin declares as he makes a slideshow after transferring ten photos and two videos. “You captured the boys in such candid moments! I’m envious; Armin always tenses up when he notices a camera on him.”

“Eren is used to it,” Levi says without a trace of bragging. “I’ve been taking video and photos of him since he was born.” Scratching the prickly shaved hairs on the back of his head, Levi adds, “I know that sounds weird.”

“No, no. You don’t want to miss a moment. I get it.”

A twinge of constriction in his lower facial region alerts Levi that he is indeed grinning like an idiot whilst making eye contact, no less! Abruptly diverting his attention away, Levi clears his throat and shoves his hands in his pockets once more.

“So, uhm, what time should I pick up Eren?”

“I can drop him off, if you like.”

“Sure,” Levi nods, agitated and ready to vacate the Smith residence as soon as humanly possible. “Thanks. I guess, uhm, before dinnertime.”

“Five o’clock sound good?”

With a curt nod, Levi begins to shift his weight from one foot to the next, uncomfortable with being alone with the attractive man for so long.

“Levi,” Erwin begins with an self-deprecating chuckle Levi deduces as suspect. “Los Angeles is unfamiliar terrain for us. I’ve visited Pasadena in the past for work, but now that I’ve made this area our home, I feel more than a little unqualified to show Armin around. Might you suggest some good places to visit, or eat at? Eren is always talking about places to Armin and I hear it through the grapevine with a bit of growing impatience to go and explore our new home city.” He holds out his hands in a gesture of helplessness.

Levi continues to stare at Erwin in contemplative silence before finally replying in his taciturn way. “Sure.” Before he can stop himself, Levi adds, “Eren and I can even show you some places. If you like.”

 _Why do his eyes have to light up like Dodger fucking Stadium?_ Levi grumbles internally, his grey eyes sharply darting away.

“That would be astounding. You sure it’s no trouble?”

“We have next Sunday free.”

“I'll double check with my assistant, but that should work for us.”

Levi nods in concession, shooting a meaningful look at his cell phone and wishing Erwin would stop looking at him like he’s waiting for Levi to say something else!

“Ah, let me get this for you,” Erwin says, turning his chair and attention back to the connected devices. As soon as the phone is safely disconnected, Levi leans around the other man with so much deliberate space, Erwin would have thought he contracted leprosy. He rises to escort the single father back out, but is cut off.

“No, thanks. I know the way.”

Levi bolts before his conflicting emotions catch up to him.


	4. Just Another Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'I feel it all around,  
> I feel it in my bones,  
> 'My life is on the line,  
> 'When I'm away from home.  
> When I step out the door,  
> The jungle is alive...  
> I do not trust my ears,  
> I don't believe my eyes.  
> I will not fall in love,  
> I cannot risk the bet,  
> Cause hearts are fragile toys,  
> So easy to forget.'  
> \- Oingo Boingo (Just Another Day)

Erwin sits cuddled up on the couch with Armin, engrossed in the PBS show _American Experience_. A plate of leftover birthday cake lies between them, most of it demolished, with Armin occasionally going in for some frosting.

“Has Eren mentioned where he and his father might take us tomorrow?” Erwin inquires.

“No,” Armin replies. “He has mentioned numerous places, but Eren was not sure where his father would choose to take us. I would rather be surprised, wouldn’t you, poppa?”

“Yes, I love surprises.” Erwin agrees, ruffling Armin’s soft blond hair. “Just like my surprise birthday dinner you and Sasha planned earlier this week.”

Beaming with pride, Armin sets the plate on the coffee table and snuggles close to his father, feeling cozy and comfortable for the first time in a long while. It usually takes the younger Smith a handful of months before he feels this settled into a new home. Then again, Armin had yet to make as quick or close friends as he has with Eren.

“Eren asked me to go trick-or-treating with him,” Armin shares as their program ends.

“Oh, that will be very fun. Your first time trick-or-treating!” Erwin smiles down at his son, who does not express enthusiasm equal to his father’s. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know what to dress up as.”

“What’s Eren’s costume?”

“A stegosaurus.”  
  
“Maybe you should go as a dinosaur, too?”

“I don’t want to match,” Armin contests. “And I don’t want to be anything scary.”

“We’ll think of something,” Erwin reassures his son with a gentle kiss on the forehead.

After tucking his son into bed that night, Erwin stays up to play some WoW - a luxury he rarely affords himself these days - and get some work done so he can enjoy his Sunday guilt-free. He pauses between tasks, spying the folder in which he had temporarily placed the files from Levi’s phone on his Desktop. Opening it, Erwin sits back as a slideshow of photos and short clips of his son and Eren play across the monitor:

_“Do you have any pets?” Eren asks Armin as they swing back and forth on the tire swing._

_“No,” Armin answers softly. “I had a fish once, but he died.”_

_“Oh. I would let you keep one of my cats, but they’d miss me and my dad too much and yowl for us. I would miss them, too. I’m sorry I can’t give you one of them.”_

_“It’s the thought that counts,” Armin replies automatically. It is at this point in the video Erwin hears the soft rumbling of laughter from the man behind the camera._

_The brunet suddenly brightens. “Maybe I can loan you one of my cats for a day! We could drop him off in the morning and pick him up for dinner!”_

  
  


The video ends there, presumably because Levi was about to bust a gut. Erwin stops the slideshow and reclines in his chair, his thoughts turning to the other single father. Ever since Erwin spied him, with that delicate swipe of red eyeliner and gunmetal nail polish, Erwin wanted to know more about him. That he is the father of his son’s best friend is merely a bonus...or deterrent, depending on Erwin’s mood.

Initially, Erwin thought he could shake off the unabashed attraction to the other man. He will, if it comes down to that, but for the time being he relishes the way his heart kicks up a beat ever so slightly whenever the other man flicks those cool, steel eyes in his direction.

 _I feel like a teenager,_ Erwin chastises himself as he stretches in his chair. _It shouldn’t be this way, he concludes. Attraction at my age ought to be more dignified, more mature and direct_. Yet here he sits, thirty-five and twitterpated as a high school freshman.

At first Erwin had thought Levi was trying to be cool; putting every ounce of effort into shocking the other parents. Pushing their buttons, daring them, the ones who pay a very hefty price to boast that their child attends a progressive school, to be progressive thinking themselves. Then, after exchanging words with the man (what few words he spoke, anyway) Erwin came to the astounding realization that Levi did not in fact act cool; he simply _is_ cool.

And that was the precise moment Erwin Smith knew he was in big fucking trouble.

* * *

“Come on, daddy! Come on!” Eren shouts, jumping up and down ecstatically on the front porch as he watches Erwin’s car pull up their driveway.

“Calm down, Eren,” Levi warns in vain as he steps outside and pulls the door close behind him.   
“All ready?” Erwin asks as Armin leaves the front passenger seat and moves towards the back, holding the door out for his best friend. Never one to hesitate, Eren dives in head first.  
Levi does not speak until he is inside the front of the car and pulling on his seatbelt.

“Thanks for driving, Smith.”

“Not a problem.” Erwin glances over at the other man. “Do you want to plug in the address of our destination into my GPS?”

Levi stares at the unfamiliar piece of navigational equipment before replying, “I know my way around.”

“All right,” Erwin complies with a nod.

“You brought a book?” Eren observes as Armin sits neatly with his hands folded over a book in his lap.

Armin shrugs. “Just in case.”

“Always be prepared?” Levi remarks to the little blond boy.

“Yes.”

“I didn’t bring a book,” Eren murmurs worriedly.

“It’s okay, Eren,” Armin reassures his friend. “I’ll read from mine if you like.”  
  
“OK!”

Erwin and Levi exchange a quick look of paternal pride before the dark-haired man recovers and focuses on his task as navigator.

“Please tell me our first stop is food,” Erwin begs with a good-natured laugh after ten minutes of driving eastward. “And nearby.”

“Yeah, we’re just about there. See that driveway just after the light? Go in there.”

“Ooooh ho, ho, Is this what I think it is?” Erwin gasps as he executes Levi’s directions.

“What is it, poppa?” Armin asks, craning his neck to look out the window for any clues. He sees a large, two-story building with the words OCEAN STAR SEAFOOD across the front. “Are we eating seafood?”

“Dim Sum!” Eren cries joyously, recognizing their destination.

“I haven’t had dim sum since I lived in Shanghai,” Erwin comments wistfully. “Oh, well,” he corrects “I had some when I was last in Hong Kong, too. Anyway, it doesn’t matter; I’m very excited.”

“It’s Chinese food?” Armin asks.

“Sort of,” Levi replies evasively as Eren begins to chant, “siu mai! siu mai!”

The restaurant is bustling with dozens of hungry denizens eager for a cornucopia of Cantonese specialties served on push-carts in a dated banquet hall of a restaurant. The boys delight in the towering tanks filled with an array of sea life: exotic fish of all shapes and sizes, lobsters, crabs, prawns and a very harassed looking eel. The surly expressions of the women pushing the silver food carts thaw at the sight of Armin and Eren, mesmerized by everything with only their fathers to hold them back before ordering one of everything.

Armin delights the servers with his chopstick management skills, even having the patience to assist Eren in his fumbled attempts to utilize the Asian utensils.

“I’m not very apt, either, Eren,” Erwin confesses, showing off his ill grip on the red lacquered chopsticks. “And I’m four times your age.”

“Daddy is really good,” Eren praises his father, who wields chopsticks expertly.

“Can we go look at the tanks again?” Eren pleads as their meal winds down and the grown-ups sip on jasmine tea.

“Have at it. Oogle your dinner, kids,” Levi gives his assent and watches their boys bound away.

“Were you born and raised here?” Erwin suddenly inquires of Levi, who has remained quiet throughout the meal.

“No.”

“You previously called yourself a local, so I assumed,”

“We’ve lived here for five and a half years,” Levi explains curtly. It isn’t his intention to sound like an utter dick, but Erwin inspires thoughts that make Levi squirm in his seat like a junior high boy with his first public hardon.

Erwin does not seem to mind, or even take notice of the short tone.

“What brought you to Pasadena?”

“Work. My friend Farlan needed a business partner and Eren needed a decent school.”

“Oh, yes, Armin said that you’re a mechanic?”

“Farlan and I restore and maintain classic vehicles.”

“That’s brilliant,” Erwin marvels.

There is no trace of sarcasm that the ever-suspicious Levi can detect, but the black-haired man remains silent as he eats his last piece of har gow.

“Did you go to school for that?”

“Just the school of life,” Levi answers after pausing to sip his tea.

“But you are certified?”

“Do you have a duesenberg that needs work, Smith?” Levi sasses with a quirked brow.

“No.”

“Then you’re just always this nosey?”

_Warning! Warning! Dickish levels rising, Levi!_

Erwin laughs from head-to-toe. Levi’s brusqueness oddly charms him. “Yes, I’m afraid so. Terrible habit of mine.”

“We’re ASE certified.”

“It goes both ways, you know,” Erwin offers as he stuffs his face with his third har cheong fun. “Being nosey.”

Levi mulls on that; it is clearly an invitation, but why? He tries not to look as suspicious as he feels.

“I’m not a nosey person.”

“Fair play.”

Levi allows a beat to pass before murmuring, “I don’t mind if you are, though.”

The check conveniently arrives at that very moment, prompting whatever words are poised on Erwin’s tongue to vanish as he and Levi fight over who will pay. Levi wins, with the promise of permitting Erwin to pay for dinner. Collecting the boys, it is time to hit the road and journey to their next adventure.

* * *

  
Clutching Armin’s hand a little tighter as Levi guides them towards a building surrounded by spiraling barbed wire, Erwin laughs nervously, “Where the devil are we going, precisely?”

“You think I would lead you astray in a sketchy downtown ‘hood, Smith? This is a theatre.”

“We’re going to see a Halloween show!” Eren exclaims to his best friend. “Starring puppets!”

“Marionettes,” Levi corrects as opens a nearly camouflaged door. Once inside they are figuratively transported to a colorful plethora of whimsy, with marionettes on display in an old fashioned vaudeville style theatre. Levi picks up their tickets before they are soon ushered into the main theatre. Eren takes Armin by the hand.

“Come on, Armin, we can sit up front ‘cause we’re kids.”

“We sit over here,” Levi directs Erwin to the chairs in the back where other parents sit. “I know it looks like a 1958 version of Pee-Wee’s Playhouse, but what do you think?”

“This is...definitely one of the strangest places I’ve ever been, but also one of the most charming. Never could have predicted you would take us somewhere like this. A marionette show, of all places.”

The Halloween Hoop De Doo show soon begins, showcasing hand-crafted marionette witches, spectres, skeletons and goblins for a not-so-scary Halloween revue. Erwin keeps his eyes mostly on the back of Armin, who scoots closer to Eren every time something a little too spooky for him happens. Proving once again what a true friend he is, Eren wraps a protective arm around the smaller boy, earning an appreciative grin from both fathers.

After the show, Levi declares it is time to let the boys run in the fresh air during what remains of the daylight hours. Navigating around Elysian Hills and Chavez Ravine, Levi leads the party to the northwest corner of the massive Griffith Park, where a transportation museum stands.

“Poppa, look at all of the trains!”

“Travel Town?” Erwin reads the sign overhead as he drives into the parking lot.

“I haven’t been here in a long, long time,” Eren says. “This place is so cool, Armin. It has locomotives, freight cars, cabooses, trolleys and trains that carry people. And we can go through a lot of them!”

The boys are off nearly as soon as they exit the vehicle, with their fathers taking a decidedly leisure pace a few paces behind them.

“I took Eren here for his sixth birthday,” Levi shares. “I wasn’t sure if the boys would be too old for trains, but looks like my gamble paid off.”

“And how,” Erwin adds, pleased to see his son running around outdoors, with a friend, and no “just in case” books in sight. “Armin’s birthday is coming up,” Erwin sighs, clasping his hands behind his back as he and Levi walk side by side. _This is very nice,_ a voice in the back of his mind informs him pleasantly. “I have a vague idea of what I’d like to do, but I’m unsure if he would be gung-ho for it. Shopping for him is a nightmare.”

“Really?” Levi inquires with genuine surprise. Armin is the most easy going kid Levi has ever met.

Erwin turns towards the boys as they dart inside an imposing locomotive engine.

“Armin, what would you like for your birthday?”

The blond boy looks up briefly to reply, “Books,” before going back to his play.

“See?” Erwin raises his eyebrows in exaggerated exasperation.

Levi huffs with laughter. “I have the opposite problem.”

As if on cue, Eren pops his head out of the locomotive cab window and calls out, “For my birthday I want a pink NERF Rebelle Agent Bow Blaster, an ATV, LEGO Batcave, Draculaura Monster High doll, STAR WARS Stratego, and a puppy!”

“Your birthday isn’t for another five months, my greedy little monster,” Levi chides with an ill-suppressed smile.

“For Christmas then!” Eren smiles wide, the gap from his missing baby tooth proudly on display.

“You don’t need a fucking puppy,” Levi insists, crossing his arms. “You have two cats.”

“But Scuttles and Scooter want a puppy, too!”

Levi rolls his eyes as his son continues his game of imaginary with Armin. The two fathers begin to walk around the trains, silence weighing like an oppressive blanket on a hot July afternoon. Both men find the other’s presence easy to be in, but a mutual curiosity burns so vibrantly that tension rises between them.

“Are you two settling in?” Levi asks, trying to think of neutral small talk.

“Yes, Armin adapts well. I think Sasha is having the most difficulty, and myself. It’s been a bit discombobulating at times.” He sighs as he stops to lean his palm against a caboose. “The only regret I have is moving Armin so far away from his mother.”

“His mother?” Levi raises an inquisitive eyebrow. This is the first time anyone has mentioned a mother. _Of course he was married. All the hot guys are straight_. Levi hates himself for feeling even a modicum of disappointment.

“Yes. She’s from Denmark originally, but she’s made Lyon her home, and that’s where Armin was born.” He sighs again, this time in resignation. “We Skype and Snapchat and send care parcels regularly, though. Does Eren have contact with his mother?”

“No.” Levi hopes he looks as uncomfortable as he feels as he glances over his shoulder to make sure the boys are not within ear shot. The last thing he needs is Eren getting curious about subject matters Levi wishes to avoid.

Erwin picks up on Levi’s body language and keeps the conversation on himself. “Many people warned me not to let Armin get so attached to his surrogate, but I just couldn’t force the relationship either way, so I took my cue from Armin and let him decide. Nanaba, his mother, was happy to do the same.”

“Surrogate?” Levi repeats before he can stop himself. _Didn’t I tell him not three hours ago that I am not a nosey person? What happened to that man?_

“Yes. I suppose the distance issue wouldn’t exist if I had engaged a stranger to be my surrogate instead of a friend, but,” Erwin shrugs as he walks up into the bright red standard caboose. “I’ve known her since freshman year at University, and when she offered, I couldn’t think of a better choice.”

_I’m gonna have a fucking coronary by the time I figure out if this dude is gay or not, Levi thinks as he follows the other man. Not that I’m going to sleep with him. Of course not. I can’t. He’s Armin’s father. It would be bad. Really bad. Oh, shit he’s still talking._

“I didn’t think I was exceptionally young to be a father at twenty-six,” Erwin continues, strolling through the interior of the caboose, pausing to look up at the cupola, “but when do we ever think such thoughts, especially in our twenties? I was extraordinarily fortunate to be able to reap the benefits of a successful career early on, and I didn’t want to get so caught up in my career that I forgot to have a family. I didn’t want to be my father. A great man, incredible scholar and teacher, but he got around to fatherhood late in life and I lost him early on. So I bit the proverbial bullet and here we are.”

“You must know what I’m babbling about, though,” Erwin says. “You look younger than me.”

“Eren was…” Levi runs his hand along the top of smoothly polished wooden bench seat as he searches through his mental rolodex of adjectives to describe Eren’s existence. “The best surprise I didn’t know I wanted, but can’t imagine my life without.”

“I see,” Erwin nods, trying in vain not to laugh at Levi’s choice of words as they make their way out onto the back platform of the caboose. “So, where are you from originally?”

“Oakhurst. It’s near Yosemite and the Sierras.”

“Wow,” Erwin marvels. “What a stunning backdrop to grow up in.”

“When you’re in a backwater town of less than three-thousand people who don’t take too kindly to men who wear eyeliner and nail polish, no amount of shrubs and redwoods is going to make it worth sticking around.”

“Fair enough,” Erwin contends. “Do you visit to see family?”

“No,” Levi replies. “My family is my two best friends and Eren. They’re all I need.”

“Dad, dad,” Eren bounds over to them, clutching Armin’s hand and leading him along. “Can we go on the Merry-Go-Round?”

“Wouldn’t be a proper visit otherwise,” Levi answers, relishing the joy in his son’s eyes. _How many more years will a Merry-Go-Round make him happy? One? Two at best?_ Levi pushes the dark clouds away from his thoughts before they loom for too long.

Driving to the separate area where the historic Merry-Go-Round is held, Ackermans lead Smiths to the red and white striped pavilion that houses sixty-eight jewel-encrusted hand-carved horses.

“Let me get this,” Erwin steps forward to the ticket booth.

“Put your fucking wallet away, nerd,” Levi orders, sidestepping the taller man and blocking him from the window.

“Levi, you already took care,”

“Are you insinuating I am a pauper and in need of your charitable assistance?”

“Of course not,” Erwin laughs, unable to produce any reaction less than amusement at Levi’s crass vulgarity.

“Damn right. Now fold your wallet up and go pick out a horsey to ride.”

“Wait, what? We’re riding, too?”

“Yeehaw.”

Out of habit, Levi rode close to Eren’s horse, keeping a watchful eye on his son.

“Hang on, Armin!” Eren cautions as the warning bell rings to signal that the ride is soon to begin. They sit side by side on ornate brown steeds.   
  
“Jesus,” Erwin remarks, taken aback by the speed of the Merry-Go-Round. His grip tightens on the pole of his white charger.

Levi snorts, subsequently catching Erwin’s eye. Levi holds it for longer than he thought himself capable of, well beyond his level of comfort. It isn’t until the second warning bell of the ride coming to an end and Eren begging to go around just one more time that Levi breaks eye contact.

* * *

  
“Daddy, I’m cold,” Eren complains as they walk back to the car. Taking off his leather jacket and wrapping it around his son’s shoulders, Levi decides to forgo the lecture about leaving outerwear in the car.

  
 _Oh dear god_ , Erwin thinks as he watches Levi remove his jacket for the first time since they had met. _He’s built like a shit brickhouse._ How did he miss such an obvious detail of the other father? The short stature and bulky leather jacket Levi is never without do a stupendous job of covering up Levi’s compact athletic physique and upper arm tattoos. Now that they are on display, however, completing the image...well. Erwin thanks his lucky stars he is walking slightly behind the ebony haired man.

“Are we ready for dinner?” Levi asks the rest of his company.

Eren looks over his shoulder at his father. “We’re going to the taco truck, right?”

“Sure,” Levi feels his heart twinge at the shining eyes and mile-wide smile Eren gifts him. Damn the child and his insufferable adorableness.   
  
A ten minute drive and another ten minutes of aggressive parking space hunting later, the new residents of Pasadena and the Ackerman boys stand in the small blacktop lot of the Nishikawa repairs shop where the El Taquito Taco truck is parked and slinging up soft street tacos to an impressive number of customers.

“What’s good?” Erwin asks, reading the pithy menu.

“Everything.”

“I’ve never eaten a taco,” Armin confesses, causing a few people in line to stare aghast.

“Don’t worry, kid,” Levi reassures the little boy with a pat on his shoulder. “We wouldn’t steer you wrong.”

Fifteen minutes later and Armin has gone from inquisitive hesitance to full-blown taco enthusiast. For having never left the state, Eren makes an excellent teacher in the proper enunciation of the various taco fillings as he and Armin stuff themselves silly.

“Chi-cha- _rron_ ,” Eren instructs, carefully enunciating each syllable, making sure to emphasize the roll of his tongue. They sat on a planter, paper plates between them and the sides of their mouths smeared with spicy rojo sauce. Levi wills himself not to run over and wipe it away. He turns his attention to Erwin, who stands as he does at a makeshift counter to indulge in their messily delicious dinner.

“So,” Levi begins in an attempt to take Erwin up on his invitation to be nosey. “Armin has never lived in America?”

“Not since he was an infant; we briefly moved back home at my mother’s insistence, but we were back in Europe by the time he was eleven months.”

“Eren said you’ve lived many places and moved often.”

“Yes,” Erwin admits as if owning up to a secret. “But I promised Armin to settle down for a while.”  
  
“Define ‘a while’.”  
  
“Years. Probably through high school, if he wishes.”  
  
“I don’t like the idea of Eren getting attached to someone if they’re just going to leave, Smith,” Levi says in what he means as a casual voice, but it comes out as protectively as he feels.

“And I take promises given to my son in earnest,” Erwin retorts with a cool voice behind a warm smile.

Nodding in satisfaction at Erwin’s answer, Levi cleans up his area of the counter and his hands before leaning on his elbow to face the other father. The barest trace of a smile plays on his face. Erwin feels his heart thump a little harder.

“You mentioned Armin’s birthday. Have any ideas?”

“Yes, actually,” Erwin clears his throat as he straightens. “I was thinking about Disneyland. What’s more Californian than that? With he and Eren being so close, I thought it would be a fun surprise if I got a suite so we can stay the night and the boys can enjoy both parks. Or two days at Disneyland for all I care. Amin has never been to a theme park, and he’s the perfect height to go on most, if not all, of the rides. What do you think?”

Levi deflates, conflict resonating on his face as he debates vocalizing his parental selfishness.

“I appreciate the offer, Smith,”

“But?”

“I’ve never been able to afford to take Eren to Disneyland. Every time I saved up, their fucking prices sky-rocketed, or a more important expense came up. I will have enough for Eren’s ninth birthday in March, including a night in a hotel with a free shuttle service if nothing goes awry between now and then, but,” Levi can no longer look the man in the eyes; he feels incredibly foolish. “It’s selfish, but I want to be there to take all the cheesy pictures, to sit next to him on dorky rides and buy him his first embroidered Mickey Mouse ear hat.” He is pained at the unreadable expression on Erwin’s face. Levi feels wretched. “I know I’m a total shit for being so selfish,”

“No, no,” Erwin interrupts. “I don’t think you’re being selfish at all. You want that experience, just as I do. I had no idea Eren has yet to experience Disneyland, I’d just assumed every California kid...Well. Of course I’m not going to take that away from you. Don’t worry about it.”

“No hard feelings, Smith?”

“Do not let it bother you any longer,” Erwin insists with a wave of his hand, as if wiping away Levi’s troubles and guilt. “I will think of something else.”

“I’m glad Eren met Armin,” Levi confesses after a long pause. “I hope they’ll be pals for a very long time.”

“Me, too.” Erwin holds the shorter man’s gaze, wondering if Levi feels the same spike in blood pressure and zing in heartbeat as he does. Suddenly unable to hold the raven-haired man’s gaze, Erwin looks beyond him and chortles. “Oh, dear. We’ve worn them out.”

Looking over his shoulder, Levi grins to see Eren and Armin fast asleep on the planter ledge, their heads leaning on each other to keep them upright.

“I guess we should head home.”

The men hoist their respective sons and carry them to Erwin’s red Prius. Once the third graders are secure inside the back seat, Erwin drives the foursome back to the Ackerman residence.

“Hang tight for a second,” Levi instructs, unbuckling his seatbelt as soon as Erwin pulls into his driveway. He takes this opportunity to unlock the front door and turn on a hallway light before returning to the car for Eren. Erwin waits outside the rear passenger door.

“Allow me,” Erwin offers in a hushed voice so as not to wake their sons, opening the door to allow the father access to his slumbering son.

“Thanks,” Levi replies gruffly, unbuckling Eren and hoisting him up into his arms. The eight-and-a-half year old instinctively wraps his arms around Levi and rests his head in the crook of Levi’s neck. It will not be long before the little boy is not so little and becomes too big to carry.

Starting up the walkway, Levi is vaguely aware of the blonde man following a few paces behind him. As soon as his boots tread atop his porch, Levi hears the other man clear his throat. Turning, Levi faces Erwin, nervously threading his fingers through Eren’s messy brown hair.

“Thank you for tonight.”

“No big deal.” Levi replies under his breath.

“On the contrary; it is a very big deal.” Erwin counters, breaking into a wide, dopey grin. “For Armin and myself.”

_God, he’s like a big, dumb goober of a dog._

“Would you like to get coffee sometime?” Erwin asks without preamble. “Without the kids.”

The hairs on Levi’s neck raise as he visibly bristles. His available hand immediately goes for the doorknob. He can hear his heartbeat hammering in his ears, feel the sweat of his palm as he death grips the door handle, and yet all he can see is that inexplicably warm smile.

 **“No.”**   
  
Unprepared for such a naked, definitive response, Erwin takes a step back, crestfallen and bewildered. “Oh! Uh, alrig-”

“It sounds nice,” Levi adds with a genuinely pained expression, “but I can’t.” He wrenches open the front door and quickly separates himself from the other man with a hasty, “Goodnight, Smith.”

  
  



	5. Crush on You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Maybe I was the one who left the trace  
> Was there a message written on my face?  
> Were my emotions so easily read  
> That you would know my thoughts before a word was said  
> Was it my eyes  
> That let you know you had control  
> Because the way you move was so self-assured  
> You knew I would surrender'  
> \- The Jets (Crush on You)

“Levi? Levi? Anybody home?” Farlan waves his hand in front of his best friend, effectively obtaining the other man’s attention as he gave a start.

“Sorry,” Levi mumbles, readjusting his focus to the 1961 Volkswagon type 34 Karmann Ghia convertible currently occupying their garage. “I must’ve spaced out.”

“No shit, Sherlock,” Farlan sasses before returning to the wax job on the VW. “Where’d you drift off to, space case?”

“Nowhere.”

“Hmmm,” Farlan narrows his eyes at his best friend. “You sure you’re not thinking of a tall, nerdy, hunky blond single dad?”

“Shut up,” Levi growls, his eyes narrowing dangerously. “I told you; it’s not going to happen.”

“Well, I think you should give this guy another chance.” Farlan leaves his wax rag to enter their office and returns with an issue of Forbes magazine. Slapping his friend on the forehead with the magazine before thrusting it against his chest, Farlan adds with a quirked brow, “You’d be set for life.”

Taking hold of the issue of Forbes, Levi is gobsmacked to see none other than Erwin Smith, among many other square close-ups of various people he did not recognize, right smack dab on the cover. The headline: _Entrepreneurs of the New Millennium: The New Faces of Wealth._

“He’s got money, so, what?” Levi scoffs, tossing the magazine onto a cabinet. “Like the fact that his kid attends Emerson and they’ve lived all over the world and reside in a big, fuck-off house didn’t tip me off.”

“It’s not just the money, you cretin,” Farlan snaps as he continues waxing the car. “You should read his profile, it’s really interesting. I didn’t understand all of the technobabble on what exactly he does, or did, to earn such a fuckload of money, but he gives his employees the option to buy into the company. He was in Ireland because he set up a European headquarters for his company, and he chose Ireland because of their economic depression. The ripple effect of that alone boosted the employment rate of Cork by, like, fifteen percent.”

“Thanks for that extra special glimpse into his life, Encyclopedia Brown.”

“He gives back to charities!” Farlan cries. “Animals, kids, world hunger, global poverty, medical science, gay rights, the environment, gender equality, hell, I think he mentioned something about establishing his own non-profit! This guy could be nominated for sainthood.”  
  
“Alright, alright, he could be Saint Fucking Smith! What’s your point?!”

“C’mon, Levi,” Farlan insists, all smiles and jokes now replaced with stoic concern. “Level with me. What’s the real reason you don’t want to give this guy a chance? I know it’s not your rich people prejudice, or the fact that he’s Armin’s dad. So don’t lie.”

Forming the words to voice his emotions and thoughts as he goes into autopilot cleaning mode, Levi eventually takes a long, deep sigh.

“My attention is on Eren, and it should be only on Eren until he’s an adult.”

“That’s not fair, to you or Eren,” Farlan contests. “You’re hiding behind him, using him as an excuse not to get close to anyone.”

“What the fuck would you know about it, Dr. fuck-head Phil!” Levi snaps without meaning to become so cross with his best friend. “You’re not a parent, so you don’t fucking get it.”

Farlan shoots him a withering stare. “No. I’ve only been my sister’s legal guardian since she was thirteen years old. I have noooooooo idea what it’s like to put someone else’s needs above my own.”  
  
Turning his back towards the blond man as his cheeks burn with mortification, Levi angrily wipes the wrenches despite them already being spotless.

“I know. I’m sorry.” Levi grumbles, barely audible. It's easier to talk to people without having to look into their dumb, soulful eyes. “It isn’t Eren’s fault that I’m raising him alone, but that’s the hand life dealt us and he doesn’t deserve to have any less than he currently does. I don’t want to reduce anymore of that by bringing someone else into the mix.”

Farlan thinks his friend is being utterly ridiculous, but he's tired of arguing. Instead, he brightens and adds merrily, “Sounds like you’re in need of a good dicking, if you ask me.”

Smirking over his shoulder, Levi gives a slight nod. “Probably.”

“Judging from that zero to mega-Hulk temper, I’m gonna say more than just _probably_.”

* * *

“Don’t forget to wash behind your ears, little boy!” Levi warns sternly as he walks past the bathroom, where Eren is taking his nightly bath, ear-deep in bubbles.

“I won’t,” Eren promises diligently.

Satisfied, Levi clicks his tongue and makes the necessary noises for their cats. “Scoots, Scuttles,” he calls. “Dinner time.”

Two shorthair black cats dart out from their hiding spots to follow their daddy to the kitchen. Just as Levi takes out a can of food, the house phone rings. Levi grabs the receiver and cradles it between ear and shoulder as he pops open the can of catfood.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Levi,” Erwin greets. “This is Smith. I mean, Erwin. I’m sorry to bother you, but I am in a bit of a pickle and I need to ask a huge favor of you.”

“Oh?” Levi prompts, both relieved and disappointed that Erwin is so businesslike.

“I have to go out of town for a few days, which isn’t normally an issue since we have Sasha, but she has a school related obligation on Saturday and I don’t return until Sunday night. Would it be alright if she dropped off Armin in the morning and picked him up that night?” 

“Sure. I have the day off for Eren’s karate demo.” Levi replies. “Armin is always welcome here.” He wants no doubts in Erwin’s mind regarding their sons. Just because he shot down the blonde’s attempt at a closer bond does not mean their sons’ friendship need be affected.

An audible sigh of relief. “Thank you. Sasha and I are very grateful.”

A high-pitched meow from Scoots prompts Levi to end the conversation before it has a chance to turn uncomfortable.

“Yeah, no big deal. I have to go feed the cats, Smith.”

“Yes, I won’t bother you any longer this evening.” He pauses before a chuckle bubbles up and rings in Levi’s ear.

“What?” Levi demands, feeling self-conscious.

“I can’t believe you still have a landline.”

“I can’t believe you said ‘I’m in a pickle’. Who even says that?” Erwin’s laughter intensifies, causing Levi’s cheeks to burn. “Alright, alright. Piss off, Smith.”

“Goodnight, Levi.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Before he can stop himself, Levi adds, “Have a good trip.” Then quickly hangs up before the other man can reply.

* * *

“So, where are you off to this time, Erwin?” Hange asks over her glass of wine. After two months of conflicting schedules, mostly due to the new school year rush, Hange finally has time to enjoy a quiet, leisurely dinner at her favorite restaurant with a juicy steak, a bottle of Pinot Noir and her oldest and dearest friend.

“MIT and Rensselaer,” answers Erwin as he tucks into his squid ink risotto. “I have two nights of lectures and then I’ll make a pit stop at FS Seattle to check up on things.” He grins sinisterly. “I’m not bothering to let them know I’m coming.”

“Gotta keep the tech monkeys on their toes, eh?” Hange cackles as she cuts into her filet mignon.

“Precisely.” After an appreciative swig of wine, Erwin becomes visibly solemn. “I wish I could take Armin along, but he’s done with me dragging him all over the world.”  
  
“As your friend, I would empathize with you, but,” Hange lifts her fork and wags it disapprovingly at her best friend, “as his school director, I must frown upon the very idea of taking one of my pupils out of school to be your sidekick while you’re working.”  
  
“I know, I know,” Erwin blows off her disapproval with a casual wave of his fork. They continue their meal for a few more moments before Erwin takes an especially long sip of wine and asks, as casually as he can muster, “Tell me about Levi Ackerman.”

“Levi?” She chews on a hunk of steak thoughtfully, waiting until she swallows to answer. “He keeps a pretty tight lid on himself. Never made a single friend out of any of the other parents. More bluntly, he’s a surly grumpface who purposefully alienates himself. But, he puts in his volunteer hours, and he’s very vocal and hands-on with Eren’s education and care, but isn’t ignorant to his son’s foibles. I admire his devotion.”

“I’m pleased you approve of him as a father, but I meant what do you know of him... _personally.”_  
  
Quizzically, Hange cocks a brow at her best friend. “Why the sudden interest in Levi Ackerman if not as a father and OH MY GOD you like him!” Realization dawns in Hange’s eyes, causing Erwin to wince guiltily, confirming her suspicions as she gasps and smacks the table. “No! Shut the front door! _Erwin!”_ She titters behind her hand. “Levi Ackerman?”

“Zoe,” Erwin starts with a drawn-out sigh. A doctorate in child psychology, and she still gasps and giggles like a sixteen year old.

“No, no, no, no,” she back pedals. “I think it’s wonderful! Really. I’m simply flabbergasted. I could never imagine you falling for Levi Ackerman. Wait. No. I take that back. I can _totally_ see you falling ass over tits for him.” She snickers as she gets a hold of herself.

Erwin clears his throat pointedly, going for another bite of his meal. “Can we please get back to my initial inquiry?”

Hange shrugs helplessly. “What I do know is all in snippets, little factoids he’s let slip over the years. Nothing concrete comes to mind, though.” She waggles her eyebrows, that goofy grin spreading across her face. “Still, I think you should go for it! You two would be good for each other.”

Erwin twists his mouth as the soreness of Levi’s brusque and baffling rejection haunts him. “He isn’t interested.”

Clearly, the brunette is not expecting this answer; consolation washes over her expression. “Oh.”

Erwin grins nervously. “I think I read him wrong; he’s probably straight.”

“Now, that is a _definite_ falsehood. You’re not the first single parent to be enchanted by his blue collar motorcycle hood charm, Erwin. Some mother was mooning over him years back, and he let it slip, very audibly, that he thought heterosexuality was the downfall of mankind.”

Chortling despite the pang in his heart, Erwin cannot help but be beguiled by Levi’s prickly, brutal honesty.

“Well, I guess I do know a few things about Levi.” She dabs the sides of her mouth with her napkin and looks away from her friend. 

“What?” Erwin asks, noticing a shadow of inner debate cross Hange’s expression.   
  
“He does have a criminal record.” She quickly holds her palm up to preempt Erwin's interruption. “You know I background check every parent, because parental volunteerism is integral to how I run Emerson. Levi was forthcoming about his record and while it isn’t my place to give you full details, I can assure you it wasn’t a violent crime or had anything to do with children. He was practically a kid himself.” As Erwin’s pensive silence weighs between them, Hange feels sheepish and unsure if she has done Erwin any favors by sharing this information. As her nervous guilt begins to smother her, Hange starts to ramble. “He is a fiercely protective father; it’s been him and Eren against the world for a long time now, and I think the very idea of letting anyone into their private world scares the shit out of him.” She sighs with regret, feeling as if she has inadvertently smashed Erwin’s rose-tinted feelings for the other father. “ Did I totally ruin your crush?”

“No,” Erwin concludes. “Whatever his past, it has molded him into the man he is today.”

A slow, lop-sided grin makes its way across Hange’s face as she swirls the remaining wine in her glass. “Got you hotter for him, didn’t it?”

“I have no idea what you are talking about,” Erwin insists even as his face reddens with the truth.  
  


* * *

The trumpeting of elephants wakes Levi from his deep slumber. He must have been dreaming, as it takes longer than usual for him to come to full consciousness. Peeking out from his covers, Levi spies Eren sitting on his bed, sucking his thumb as he clutches his Ugly Bat doll and focuses on the little television sitting on Levi’s dresser across from the bed.

Levi has long since abandoned the battle of the thumb-sucking habit Eren uses as a calming mechanism; Eren’s teeth have yet to crook in such a way that would require braces (money Levi does not possess), therefore the single father has no true argument against it.

“Whatcha watching, little monster?” Levi asks as he reaches out to run a hand down Eren’s back.  
  
“Animalia,” Eren replies around his thumb.

“Armin should be here soon,” Levi says after spying his alarm clock. “Are you excited for the Halloween Festival tonight?”

“Yeah! I can’t wait to show off my stegosaurus costume. I want to add a big bow, can I do that?”

“Aside from setting fire to yourself, you can accessorize any way you please, li'l dino.” Levi rolls onto his back and stretches. His son’s penchant for bows, costume jewelry, and other traditionally female assigned toys is what initially prompted Levi to seek out alternate schooling for Eren. The last thing he wants is his son to be beaten up for wearing a sparkly pink bow in his hair. Or any of the other handful of “girl” interests Eren holds: dressing up, dolls, pop singers, ponies and princesses.

“It’s too bad Armin’s dad can’t come,” Eren remarks absently. Levi rolls onto his other side and pulls the covers up to his chin, effectively hiding any emotion that might escape and present itself on his face. It isn’t that he merely desires to jump Erwin’s bones, but their repartee has yet to wan; in fact, it seems to only strengthen each time they meet. Yet, a voice inside Levi tells him not to trust the other father, to protect himself from the inevitable heartache. Whether it is instinct or fear is still an enigma to him.

“Daddy…”

“Hm?” Levi grunts absently.

“I think Sasha is really pretty,” Eren says dreamily. “Do you think she likes me, too?”

Looking over his shoulder at his hopeful son with a knowing grin, Levi chuckles, “Are you going to marry Sasha?”

Eren throws his head back and laughs, using his bat doll to smack his father’s hand as it reaches out to grab him. “No! No!”

“My little monster is gonna leave his daddy all alone?” Levi teases as he and Eren laugh and wrestle. “Boo hoo hoo, what am I going to do without my baby?”

“Stop, no tickling!” Eren squeals as his father tackles and tickles him. “OK, daddy, I promise! I won’t leave!”

The doorbell rings and Levi instantly lets up. Eren bounces off the bed, scurrying over to the doorway of his father’s room before turning back and wiggling his hips dramatically as he sticks out his tongue.

“Nyah, nyah! I was lying!”

“Go stand in the corner!” Levi orders playfully. Eren blows him a raspberry before dashing to the front room to answer the door. Grabbing his bathrobe, Levi quickly emerges from his bedroom to greet Sasha and her charge.

“Mornin’!” Sasha chirps. “I ‘ave got to dash; I’m well late. It’s me AS-Levels all over again,” she groans before worriedly chewing on the tip of a colorfully manicured nail. “I never left me ducks with anyone before.”

As Levi thinks of reassuring words for the young woman, Armin beats him to punch.

“I’ll be alright,” Armin gently insists. “Go on before you get in trouble.”

“Right!” Sasha declares with gusto. “I be late for me own funeral.” She tousles Armin’s hair and gives him a peck on the cheek. “Laters, ducks.”

“Bye,” Armin yawns, setting his rucksack down before removing his shoes, a prerequisite for entering the Ackerman abode.

“Goodbye, Sasha!” Eren cries from the porch, waving enthusiastically as Sasha gets into her car and zips off.

“How about some breakfast?” Levi suggests as he makes his way to the kitchen.

“Waffles!” Eren demands, returning inside.

“No waffles, you’re going to have enough sugar and party food at the Festival. Oatmeal. Armin, do you like oatmeal?” Levi asks the quiet blond boy. Armin seems lost in thought, or rather, concern. He gives a start when he notices Levi waiting for his reply.

“Huh? Oh, yes. Thank you.”

The boys sit at the kitchen table as Levi works on breakfast, only half paying any mind to their conversation. Talk is primarily focused on the Halloween Festival, though Eren is dominating the conversation more than usual. Whether it is due to the disruption in his routine, feeling abandoned by his father and nanny, or it simply being too early to converse, Armin is noticeably spacing out.

“What’s the matter, Armin?” Eren finally asks. Levi inconspicuously eavesdrops; if Eren has taken notice of Armin’s demeanor, something surely has to be troubling him. But the boy shakes his head and smiles, all dimples and rosy cheeks.

“Nothing. Sorry. I’m tired.”

“Ease up on Armin, kid,” Levi instructs gently as he sets down two bowls of oatmeal. “He’s not a morning person like you.”

“Oh,” Eren replies, picking up his spoon. “Okay!”

The issue appears to resolve, but Levi remains skeptical.

Later that morning finds the trio at Blair High School where all students, child and adult alike, of the Titan Dojo are giving their demo. Pleased that Armin came prepared with an arsenal of books to stave off potential boredom, Levi situates himself as close as possible without being too near to other parents so he can take film and photos of Eren whenever his turn pops up.

The first hour passes in friendly, comfortable silence; Levi is thankful Eren has befriended a naturally reserved child. By the second hour, however, Levi finds it increasingly difficult to resist conversation between Eren’s demos.

“So, uh, do you like America so far?”

“Mmmhmm,” Armin replies without taking his eyes off his book. “It’s strange sometimes, and some of the food is odd. I do miss Europe and Japan a lot, but people are nice here.” He shrugs and adds, “I wouldn’t trade Eren for going back, though.”

Turning his face away lest anyone, most of all Armin, spy the abrupt overflow of emotion on his face, Levi instead coughs into his fist.

“I’m sure Eren feels the same,” Levi comments before deciding the topic needs to be swapped. “So, when we get home I’m going to have Eren take a bath and then I’ll make lunch and then you two can play for a little while, but I usually ask Eren to nap or at least rest before the Halloween Festival since we stay up later than usual. Afterwards, you two can get into your costumes and we’ll take off for the festival. Does your costume need a lot of makeup or…” Levi stops as he realizes Armin has been staring at the same page in his book for a long while, tears filming over his eyes. “Armin?” He leans closer so as not to draw any undue attention to the boy. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Noth-” Armin sniffs, willing his tears not to fall. “Nothing. I’m okay. Really.”

Sighing, Levi sits up straight and cranes his neck, seeking out a familiar face. Two rows back he recognizes a father whose daughter is in Eren’s class. Levi whistles to get his attention.

“Hey. Yeah, you.” Levi stands with one arm around Armin while he uses the other to toss his phone to the man, who scrambles to catch it bewilderedly. “I gotta take care of something. If my kid does anything, take a picture. He’s the cute one with the green belt and sparkly butterfly thingy in his bed head.”

“O-okay, sure.”

Without further instruction or explanation, Levi escorts Armin out of the gymnasium for some fresh air and privacy. By this time Armin’s tears are rolling down his cheeks and the boy is hiccuping small sobs.

“Hey, now,” Levi says not unkindly. “Whatever it is, Armin, we can work it out. You just gotta clue me in.”

“I don’t have a Halloween costume,” Armin confesses. “I thought the Halloween Festival would be on Halloween, not the Saturday before. Poppa kept asking me, but I couldn’t make up my mind. He's been so busy preparing for his trip and Sasha is frantic with school and I did not want to be a bother.”

Running a comforting hand across Armin’s shoulders, Levi can feel his own proverbial heart strings plucking one by one. His paternal instincts are typically limited to Eren, but something about Armin’s introverted personality hits home with the equally reserved man.

“Don’t worry, Armin. I’m not going to let you go without a costume. We’ll think of something, even if we have to make a trip to the costume shop.” The words fly out of his mouth before he can stop them. Inwardly, Levi sighs. _Even if the prices are jacked up this close to Halloween._ _Goddamn highway robbery_. He knows Smith is good for it, that the man will be grateful and reimburse him...smile that wide, doofus smile of his... _Fuck_.

“No, no,” Armin protests, wiping his tears away with his forearm. “That wouldn’t be right. It’s my fault.”

“What would be right?” Levi reasons. “Letting you go to the Halloween Festival without a costume when I am perfectly capable of getting one for you?”

Armin appears to be stumped by that logic. “I guess not.”  
  
“Exactly. So let’s take a deep breath.” Levi inhales through his nostrils and exhales through his mouth, repeating once Armin follows suit. “Good job. Now, are we calm and collected enough to go back there and finish the demo?” Levi waits until Armin nods his assent before escorting the little boy back inside the gymnasium.

“Huh. Whaddya know. That guy managed to snap some nice photos.” Levi idly scrolls through his camera roll. The demo is over, and after a brief discussion with Hannes-Sensei about Eren's improvement, Levi and Armin find themselves waiting for Eren to return from the powder room. Out of the corner of his eye, Levi notices Armin inching closer to him, clutching his book to his chest and visibly practicing his expression to eradicate all traces of his earlier turmoil.

“Hello!” Eren exclaims as he rushes over to the pair. "How did I do, dad? Armin?"

"Brilliant," Armin comments with renewed enthusiasm. "I have never been to a karate demo before."

"Fantastic," Levi praises, pocketing his phone and leading the two boys towards the exit, pausing at a vending machine to buy each boy a bottle of juice. “So we need to pop into the costume store and get a costume for Armin.”

“Oh.” Eren looks to his best friend, who appears dogged. "You don't have a Halloween costume?"

"No," Armin replies meekly, partially hiding his face behind his apple juice.

“Well," Eren takes a swig of his apple juice before adding, "That's okay! You can wear my stegosaurus costume.”

Levi abruptly turns to his son. "Then what will you wear, Eren?"

"I have lots of stuff in my closet," Eren dismisses his father's concern with a wave of his juice bottle before he throws an arm around his best friends shoulders, much like the way Levi did earlier. "But Armin is my best friend, and this is his first Halloween in America, so he should have a really cool costume. What's cooler than a dinosaur?"  
  


* * *

Later that afternoon, Levi grabs the house phone on the first ring.

"Hello?"

"Levi, it's Erwin. I'm about to hop on my next flight, but I wanted to call and check in. How's Armin?"

"I smeared the boys in honey and tied them to an ant hill in Angeles National Forest. But don't worry, I gave Scoots and Scuttles a map so they'll find them. Eventually."

"Well," Erwin sighs. "Be sure to tell my son it was nice while it lasted."

"Sure. When he wakes from his nap."

"My eight year old is _napping?"_

"They both are. I didn't expect them to actually fall asleep, considering how wired they were after Eren’s karate demo. They'll get a second wind just in the nick of time, though."

"In the nick of time for what?"

"The Halloween Festival."

"The...Oh, goddamn it."

"Yeah, I was wondering when you were going to remember, Smith."

"For pity's sake," Erwin grumbles. "You must think I am a terrible father."

"Among other things."

"I'm not going to make excuses for myself,” Erwin sighs with aggravation. “I dropped the ball."

"I know."

Erwin groans as Levi’s smugness washes over him from three-thousand miles away. "Why didn't Armin say anything to me?"

"He said he thought the festival was on Halloween, but by the time he figured it out, you were so busy preparing for your trip he didn't want to pester you. Ditto for Sasha."

"Damn. He was waffling for so long on what he wanted to dress up as, so I backed off and...Damn. I’m a rotten father. Alright. Thanks for letting me know."

"Don't stress about it too much, Smith,” Levi says with a glimmer of sympathy for the other man. “He has a costume now."

"Oh, yeah? What did he decide on?"

"A stegosaurus."

"Stegosaurus?" Erwin repeats, knowing the costume sounds familiar. "Isn't that Eren's costume?"

"My son graciously offered up his own costume as tribute."

"Wow. _Well._ You win. I'm throwing in the towel now. Congratulations, Father of the Year."

"Thank you. And as my first act of benevolent dictatorship, I shall never let you live this down."

"Could you also take pictures at the Festival tonight, o wise and merciful god?"

"Will do."

"Thank you. Really."

Levi pauses, relishing the flutter of his heart at the sincerity of Erwin's voice.

"You're welcome, Smith."


	6. Fly By Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Start a new chapter  
> Find what I'm after  
> It's changing every day  
> The change of the seasons  
> Is enough of a reason  
> To want to get away  
> Quiet and pensive  
> My thoughts apprehensive  
> The hours drift away  
> Leaving my homeland  
> Playing a lone hand  
> My life begins today'
> 
> \- RUSH (Fly By Night)

Waking extra early to ensure his presence remains a surprise for the moment, Erwin makes his way across the hall and down to Armin’s bedroom. An unspoiled child by nature, Armin did allow Erwin to go hog wild with furnishing and reimagining the room - especially since Erwin’s innovation turned the walk-in closet Armin had no need of into his own private reading nook. Erwin still congratulates himself on that feat. 

  
The boy is asleep when Erwin sits next to him on his bed, admiring his son’s peaceful face. Erwin brushes back yellow hair and gives Armin’s little ear a tickle.

“Armin…”

With a reflexive twitch, Armin swats the offending digits away from his ear before his eyes slowly flutter open.  
  
“Poppa?” Armin mumbles, his voice heavy with sleep. “Poppa, what are you doing here?”  
  
“I caught the last flight back to L.A. last night. Got home well after Sasha put you to bed.”  
  
Armin stretches as he blinks to full consciousness, as comprehension slowly registers on his face.   
  
“You came back early?”  
  
“Yeah,” Erwin chuckles, playfully shaking his son’s knee through the blankets. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too, Poppa.” Armin confesses.  
  
“I called Eren’s dad yesterday to check in, but he said you and Eren were napping.”

“Mmmhmmm,” Arnin confirms with a wide-mouthed yawn.

“He told me about the costume.”  
Armin grows solemn, nervous and unsure if he ought to start from the beginning, or if his Poppa is upset.

“I wish you had told me.”

“I’m sorry."

“Don't apologize; I’m the only who is sorry, Armin. I shouldn’t have forgotten something so important like the Halloween Festival.”

“It’s not that important."

"Yes, it is," Erwin insists earnestly. "Anything that is important to you is important to me. Don't ever let your Poppa forget that."

"Alright," Armin promises, rubbing the sleep from one eye. "It was loads of fun.”

“As a stegosaurus, I heard.”

“Yeah,” Armin laughs lightly. “I cried in front of Eren’s dad, but he was very nice and offered to buy me a costume. I told him that wouldn’t be right, but he insisted. And then when Eren learnt I didn't have a costume, he insisted I wear his.”

“Those Ackermen are exceptionally generous friends, aren’t they?”

Armin nods before Erwin adds, "Do we need to run to the costume shop and grab you a new costume, or are you going to be a stegosaurus again?

"Neither. Eren and I swapped costumes, so I will wear what he wore last night for trick-or-treating."

"Oh, yeah?"

* * *

"My son is a shark attack?!"

"Happy Halloween to you, too, Smith." Levi greets flatly before eyeing the man in the red and white striped sweater with matching bobble hat. "Oh, look. I found Waldo."

"Hi, Mr. Smith!" Eren says, waving his little teal fabric hoof.

"Hello, Eren," Erwin replies in a gentler tone. "I like your bow, it's very sparkly."

"Thank you! Is Armin ready?"

"Here I am," Armin announces as he steps outside with his best friend. "Poppa bought me a Hawaiian shirt to go better with my costume." Armin holds out his arms to show off his shark attack costume: Bermuda shorts with one leg hacked up, his leg going through the mouth of a hollowed out shark plushie. "Look, Poppa found matching shark attack socks, too!" Armin points to his socks, created to look like open-mouthed sharks. His fisherman's hat has a fake bloodied chunk out of it and the bottom right hem of his shirt is missing, reddened as well. Eren claps in approval as the click of Sasha’s heels announce her approaching presence.

"Ooooh, ducks, you are well revolting for Halloween! I ain't just sayin' that 'cause I'm your nanny. That costume is truly mad."

"Thank you, Sasha."

Eren gasps as Sasha comes into view. "You're Lady Gaga!"

"Tryin' to be, at least," Sasha says modestly as she adjusts the white blond wig and invisible bra strap under her clear bubbles dress. "How 'm I doin', lovey?"

"Perfect! I love it!" Eren praises as he jumps up and down, applauding with jubilance.

"Cheers. Well, you four have a spooky, 'ooky time!" A car pulls into the driveway behind Levi's motorcycle and honks. "There's me ride." Sasha squeezes past the Ackermans and waves goodbye. "Toodle-oo!"

"Are we ready?" Levi asks once the nanny departs.

“Hang on.” Erwin whips out his phone and asks Armin, “Can I post a picture of you on Instagram, Armin?”  
  
“Sure!” Armin contests, striking a pose for his father.  
  
“Do what now?” Levi asks suspiciously.  
  
“Instagram,” Erwin replies as if Levi ought to know what the phone application is. “I usually post music and tech related photos, and the occasional food and landscape slips in; people ask for more photos of Armin, though. I’m conservative about posting his image, naturally, and I always ask Armin first.”  
  
_“What?”_ Levi repeats more forcefully.  
  
“It’s an app for the phone,” Armin explains more directly. “Poppa posts a lot on Twitter and Instagram. He has over a million followers!”

Levi whips his disapproving glare back at Erwin. “There are over one million people who give a damn what you ate for lunch?”  
  
"Let me just go grab my keys and then we can go," Erwin suddenly changes the subject and turns from view. The boys run down to the driveway to wait for their fathers while Levi remains on the porch. "That's a nice suit," Erwin observes as he locks up. "Who are you supposed to be? Mr. Pink?"

"Nice guess," Levi compliments, letting the whole Instagram conversation drop. "But you'll see. My headgear is on the bike."

“Head gear?” Erwin repeats as he follows Levi down to the drive. Levi picks up a customized silver helmet and slips it over his head before turning towards Erwin. “Oh my god, you’re Thomas Bangalter.”

“You know Daft Punk?” Levi asks from under the helmet.

Erwin gives Levi a look that indicates this is not a conversation one treads into lightly.   
  
“We’re not ready to discuss such an intimate subject.”  
  
“Let’s go, let’s go!” Eren cries, stomping up and down in his dinosaur suit like a child extra on a low-rent bootleg version of Jurassic Park. “There’s candy out there waiting for me!”

Without further ado, the quartet sets off into the chilly night filled with spectres, spooks and sweets.

* * *

“I’ll trade you, Armin,” Eren says as he rifles through his pillow case, more than half filled with his bounty of fun sized candies.  
  
“Oh, yeah?” Armin asks, wary.

“All of your Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups for my Laffy Taffy’s and Smarties.”  
  
“Alright. But only because I am still unsure about peanut butter.”  
  
“Yum, yum, yum,” Eren chanted as he cackles with triumph.

“It goes to show just how long I’ve been out of the trick or treating game,” Erwin declares as he stretches. “When Where’s Waldo is so old, he’s retro popular again. I’ve never seen so many concentrated in one area!”  
  
“That’s because we were walking around CalTech,” Levi explains as he takes a long, appreciative sip of his freshly brewed tea. “You're among your nerd brethren.”

“True.” Erwin watches the boys trade and sort their candy for a few moments, just enjoying the casual sounds and sights of parenthood with another parent. Though he comprehends and respects Levi’s thwarting of his advance, Erwin cannot help but let his eyes dart over to the other man, a barely audible wistful sigh escaping his nose. Though slimming, the suit cannot hide the meticulous physique Erwin has appreciated from day one. Levi’s eyes are a strange shade of blue, and with the silver liner he wears under the helmet, they almost look gray. Levi's eyes could seem small and lost within the exotic structure of his face, but Erwin relishes the opportunity to study the fine features juxtaposed with the masculinity of Levi's physique. He is wholly unique, body and personality. All the more for Erwin to appreciate him, even if it is from afar.  
  
“I think it’s time to hit the road, don’t you, Armin?” Erwin announces as he stands up from the Ackerman couch. “School tomorrow and all that.”  
  
“Awwww,” Armin protests even as he rises, trick-or-treat bounty clutched in one little fist. “It’s only a half day, Poppa.”  
  
“Come on, pal. The faster you go home and get to bed the faster you see Eren in the morning.”  
  
“Right. Oh! Right!” Armin whirls on his heel to face his best friend, his face lit up with excitement. “I’m so sorry this is short notice, Eren, but it’s my birthday on Sunday and I asked Poppa earlier if it is okay, and he said yes, so would you like to come over on Saturday night for a sleepover? If you’re not busy, of course.”  
  
“A sleepover?” Eren repeats, stiffening with unease.   
  
“Yes!” Armin confirms. “My first sleepover! And Poppa fixed the home theatre, so we can finally use it and watch Planet Earth. Sasha is going to cook a big special dinner with all of my favorite foods.”  
  
As Armin excitedly talks about his birthday sleepover, Erwin takes notice of the way Eren’s smile becomes strained and his eyes frequently dart to his father. Levi, to his credit, shows almost zero emotion, save for the subtle knitting of his brow.   
“It’s cold, so we can’t really go in the pool, but Poppa said he’ll turn down the heat of the hot tub and we can play in there and even add bubble bath so we have great big bubbles to play with. Doesn’t that sound fun, Eren?”  
  
“Yes…” Eren replies dutifully, though his eyes desperately seek help. “If...if Daddy says I can go…”

Armin turns his hopeful little face towards Levi, his eyes shining and bright. Levi knows this is Eren’s cue for him to shoot down the invitation, to come up with some excuse why he cannot attend the sleepover, though in his heart Levi knows Eren does want to go. If only…

“Why don’t we have a big breakfast in the morning, too, Armin, and invite Eren’s dad to join us.” Erwin interjects. “I know it’s Sasha’s day off, but I’m sure if we ask her nicely she will cook you a special breakfast, especially since it’s your proper birthday on Sunday.” Erwin feigns an apologetic smile at Levi. “Not just for Armin’s birthday, but as an apology for the short notice of the invite.”  
  
“Yes, that sound brilliant,” Armin agreed. “Mr. Ackerman, would you like to join us for breakfast on Sunday?”  
  
“Uhm. Eren?” Levi looks to his son for direction. Eren’s face takes on a vacillating expression of consternation and excitement, poised for response, but still processing the sudden development.  
  
“You...you would be there for breakfast, daddy?”  
  
“What time is breakfast?” Levi asks Erwin.  
  
“Oh. Uhm.” Erwin understands that this is Levi telegraphing him a message with those steel blue eyes. “Eight am. We’re rather early birds. If that’s alright with you and Eren, of course.”  
  
“I’m okay with it!” Eren cries happily, all of his previous tension washed away with the knowledge his daddy will be at the Smith residence bright and early.

“Yeah. I’ll be there.”

“Then it’s settled.” Erwin says with a clap of his mighty hands. “Now let’s get going, Armin, before we overstay our welcome.”  
  


* * *

“Do you think Eren will last the night this time?” Farlan asks as he pilfers a handful of chips out of Levi’s share. They take their lunch across the street in the park at Isabel’s insistence that they need vitamin D, and to keep her company as she studies for her upcoming debate class.  
  
“I want to say yes,” Levi replies with a casual swat of his hand, slapping half of the contraband chips out of Farlan’s grip. “But I’m pessimistic by nature.”

“Either way, that was pretty slick of Smith to have invited you over for breakfast in the morning. Give Eren a goal to work for and something to reward him after making it through the night.”  
  
“Mmmm,” Levi says noncommittally, chewing on his sandwich.

“What are you going to do, Levi?” Isabel asks from her position on the park's weathered swingset, textbook open in her lap.

“What do you mean?”  
  
“Saturday night, while Eren's away. What are your plans? You hardly ever get a night off.”  
  
“Yeah!” Farlan brightens, nudging his best friend suggestively. “Let’s go out to the pool hall. Have a couple of beers. Play a few rounds. Pick up a few guys. Huh? Huh?”

“Sleazy,” Isabel mumbles none too softly, rolling her eyes at her brother.

Swiping his raven hair out of his eyes, Levi mulls on Farlan’s invitation before giving his friend a definitive answer.  
  
“I think I’ll pass. With Eren gone, I can catch up on some TV shows and movies I can’t watch otherwise.”  
  
“Ew!” Isabel shrieks. “Is that code for porn?!”  
  
Levi looks over his shoulder at her with a smirk. “No, Dizzy Izzy, it isn’t.”  
  
“Don’t call me that!”  
  
In a rare display of childish immaturity, Levi sticks out his tongue. Isabel mirrors his gesture.  
  
“More like that thrones show you two won’t shut up about. I can finally finish those DVDs you loaned me and just enjoy the house to myself. It will be peaceful and quiet, and I intend to relish every minute.”

* * *

  
“Daddy?” Eren asks as he removes his helmet, setting it on the floor of the sidecar as he unbuckles himself and grab his bag before hopping out. 

  
“Yes?”  
  
“Do you think Armin will stop being my friend if he finds out I still suck my thumb at night like a baby?”  
  
Levi has been waiting for this inquiry ever since Armin invited Eren to his sleepover. He can give his son meaningless reassurances, but that would be a gamble Eren already lost once before. This time it is different, however, as Levi goes over the facts in his head before responding to his boy. Armin is a nice and polite kid; Levi can not envision the little blond turning on Eren. But Erwin? Sasha? Levi remains unsure about them. It's always the adults that worry Levi most. Children can be cruel, but where they learn that behavior from is scarier.  
  
“Armin is pretty damn chill,” Levi replies finally as he pushes up his sunglasses from his face. “It’d shock the hell out of me if he ended up being a dick like some of those other kids.”  
  
“You think he’ll love me no matter what?” Eren asks hopefully as they approach the stately house.  
  
Levi cannot help but smile at Eren’s choice of words. “I don’t think thumbsucking is going to get in the way of your friendship, pal.”

"Hi, Eren!" Armin greets, whipping open the front door before Levi and Eren even make it to the top of the porch.   
  
"Happy birthday, Armin," Eren replies after a start, Armin catching him off-guard.   
  
“It's tomorrow, but thank you!" Armin reaches for Eren's overnight bag. "May I take your bag?"

“Uhm,” Eren clung to the straps tightly as he looks over at his father for reassurance. Levi does his best to appear as if he holds no wavering doubts; he smiles and nods for his son to hand over the bag. “Yes, thank you.”

“I’ll take that, Armin,” Erwin offers as he jaunts over to the doorway. Levi sharply inhales and only exhales when he looks away from the blond man. “Won’t you come in, stay for a bit?”

“I shouldn’t linger,” Levi insists with meaningful stare at the top of his son’s head. Erwin catches on and quickly rectifies himself.  
  
“Of course.”  
  
“Oh, but I have something for Armin,” Levi adds, forgetting the item he was clutching, half hidden behind himself. “Here. Sorry it’s not wrapped. Gift wrapping is, uh, against my religion.”  
Armin giggles as he accepts the present: a customized helmet with the design of a world map.   
  
“Cool!” Armin declares, eyes roaming over the mapped surface. “Just like my atlas! It will look as if I am wearing a globe on my head! I love it!” Shining blue eyes stare up at Levi. “Thank you so much, Mr. Ackerman.”  
  
“It’s just Levi, and you’re welcome, kiddo.” Levi ruffles Armin’s soft yellow hair. “Now you can ride in style with Eren in the sidecar.”

“Put it on, let me get a picture,” Erwin insists as he breaks out his camera phone. Eren helps the other little boy slide the helmet over his head properly and secure the chin strap. Levi and Erwin stand side by side, firing off their phone cameras as Armin beams up at them, then poses a few times.  
  
“That is something else,” Erwin chuckles.

“Come on, Eren,” Armin says as he grabs his friend’s wrist and leads him away. “Let’s go see if Sasha has popcorn ready! Poppa has the digital projector all ready to go in the theatre!”

“A home theatre?” Levi asks, his tone dripping with judgement. Erwin throws his hands up in self-defense.

“To be fair, it was built by the previous owner. I merely upgraded the sound.”  
  
“Mmmhm,” Levi replies, watching Eren disappear deeper into the Smith house, never once looking back for that last nod of reassurance. Levi is proud, but sad all at once. He debates shouting a goodbye, but worries it will remind Eren that he's leaving, and decides against it. Decisively, before he can change his mind, Levi turns on his heel and walks out. “See you in the morning, Smith.”  
  
  


As Erwin ascends the staircase, Armin and Eren zoom past him before stopping at the top to wait for him.  
  
“I need my bag, Mr. Smith,” Eren says. “We’re going in the little hot pool.”

“The hot tub? What happened to the movie?”  
  
“Sasha said she didn’t toil away all day cooking my favorite foods to have us filling up on popcorn before dinner,” Armin explains affably.  
  
“Well, we’re not going to argue with the boss lady, are we?” Erwin chuckles as he hands Eren his bag and watches the boys jet off to Armin’s room to change into their swimwear.  
  


* * *

“Poppa says he wants to build a slide in our pool,” Armin informs Eren as they splish-splash in the hot tub, the jets bubbling on low as they enjoy strawberry scented bubble bath in the tub with them. “Right, Poppa?”  
  
“Been a dream of mine since I was a little boy,” Erwin confirms from his position on the outdoor lounge where a fire glass brazier keeps him warm in the autumn air as he reads and keeps a lazy parental eye on the boys. “I went to my first water park when I was fourteen and promised myself I would have the most awesome pool with a hot tub, lazy river, grotto and waterslide.” _And a very cute cabana boy to serve me Dr. Pepper Slushies, but they needn’t know that detail._

“Do you think Sasha will let me see her house?” Eren asks, pointing to the pool house. adjacent to the yard. “It looks like a fairy house.” Ivy grows along the side of the house, climbing up the sides in spindling curlicues.

“You can ask her,” Armin says with a shrug.  
  
“Erwin!” Sasha calls from the kitchen window. “Come help me, yeah?”  
  
“All right,” Erwin complies, setting his book down as he hoists himself up from the comfortable sofa with a groan unbefitting a spry man of thirty-six. “Poppa has to go help Sasha set the table,” Erwin says as he passes the hot tub. “Try not to drown while I’m away.”  
  
“OK, Poppa,” Armin promises as Eren giggles. When it is just the two of them, Eren grows solemn as his play tapers off and he finds himself in deep thought. “Eren, are you alright?”

“Yes,” Eren quickly replies. “Well. Yes, but I’m worried.”

“Why?”  
  
“I wasn’t going to say anything, but the last time I said nothing it turned out bad. So I thought maybe I should just tell you.”  
  
“Tell me what?” Armin asks, blinking in confusion.  
  
“I…” Eren sinks lower in the hot tub, so only his big blue-gray eyes and nose are showing above the mountain of bubbles in front of him. To Armin, it looks as if his friend has a jolly white beard and it takes all of his effort not to laugh. “I suck my thumb at night.”

“Oh.” Armin senses this revelation means a great deal to his friend, so he gives this factoid pause for thought out of respect. “All right.”

“Do you think I’m a baby?”  
  
“No, not particularly.”  
  
“So you don’t care?”  
  
“Should I?” Armin asks, genuinely curious as Eren seems to have a clearer idea what his emotions ought to be on the subject.  
  
“No. I mean, I was hoping you don’t care...that you won’t tease me or stop being my friend because you’re weirded out by it.”  
  
“I’m not,” Armin assures his friend distractedly as he scoops up a pile of bubbles and places it atop Eren’s head. “There! Now you’re Father Christmas!”

* * *

With Eren gone for the evening, Levi takes the opportunity to recline on the couch and watch the DVDs Farlan loaned him. Halfway through the second episode of Game of Thrones, though, Levi’s mind begins to wander and he decides to switch the TV off in favor of sussing out the source of his restlessness. Figuring it’s likely the need to clean, as is usually the case, Levi stalks the house, looking for any opportunity to vanquish lurking dust-bunnies. While checking under his bed, Levi spies the issue of Forbes Farlan had shown him earlier that week. Curiosity gets the better of him as he picks it up and flips to the article about Smith.  
  
There is a lot of business and tech talk that Levi skims over, his eyes settling instead on the photo inserts. A smile tugs at the corner of Levi's mouth as he looks down on a photo of Erwin at a business meeting, surrounded by suits and the most influential nerds of the time, and there he is - little Armin - wearing only a cloth diaper, standing on his Poppa’s lap, his little hands firmly planted on the conference table as he laughs at the camera, all blue eyes and blond hair. The caption reads:

_A family affair: Smith brings his 19 month old son to a meeting._

_“Work will never be nine to five for me,” Smith admits with a bittersweet tone in his voice. “There are three AM Skype meetings, unforgivingly tight schedules, snoring on a red-eye halfway around the world, literal virtual fires to put out on a weekly basis. But the ultimate perk of being the boss is that I get to bring Armin wherever I go.”_

The doorbell jars Levi out of his warm and fuzzy thoughts. He realizes he has read the same passage a half dozen times and feels embarrassed, even though there is no one to see. The doorbell rings again, and his eyes go to the clock; it's nearly eleven.

"Who is it?" Levi demands from the other side of the door.

"Open up, big brother!" Isabel demands.

"Isabel, what are you doing here so late?" Levi inquires as he complies.

"Late? Pffft! You are such an old fuddy-duddy!" She teases as she breezes inside, all pigtails and vibrant tattoos decorating her well defined arms. "Look, I bought some chips and dip and soda and rented a crappy movie from Redbox. Let's have a sleepover of our own!"

"Isabel, I'm very fond of you, but I look on you as a sister and I'm totally gay."

"What?! Ew! Weirdo. I mean, like Eren and Armin!" Isabel sticks out her tongue, realizing too late Levi is pulling her leg.

"What's this about really?" Levi asks suspiciously as he shuts the door.

"Okay, you got me,” Isabel confesses as she struggles to wiggle out of her shoes. “Eren has never slept a full night away from home before. I figured you were going crazy with worry and needed a distraction."

Levi opens his mouth to protest, but ultimately relents with a sigh.

"Thanks."

“See? Kid sister Isabel has arrived to save you from yourself.” Isabel brushes past Levi and plops on the couch, spreading out the snacks on the coffee table by her knees. “I’m going to eat these right out of the bag if you don’t stop gawking at me and go get a bowl. I know you think eating chips out of the bag is savagery.”  
  
Levi complies, too grateful for Isabel’s foresight to bitch back at her pushiness.

* * *

“I’m wrecked,” Sasha announces with a theatrical yawn as she closes the dishwasher and lets it do its thing.   
  
“Get to bed,” Erwin orders with ease. “Sleep in. Enjoy your day off tomorrow.”  
  
“Ah, ah,” Sasha wags her finger at him. “Someone promised a certain moody motorcycle man breakfast at eight am sharp. I’ll not have you defacing my kitchen and your only son’s good name on his birthday with your shit cooking.”

“Fair play, but I can take them to brunch.”  
  
“What? Part of the fun of a sleepover is eating breakfast in your pajamas and watching cartoons. Waking to the smell of bacon and eggs. No. I’ll cook it. It would be an insult to me if you refuse.”  
  
“Have it your way,” Erwin laughs with falsified exasperation. “Wow. It’s nearly eleven. I’m going to check on the boys and see how the movie watching is going.”  
  


Erwin finds the boys asleep on the deep sectional couch that takes up the first “row” in the home theatre; nearly ten feet wide and seventy inches deep, the couch is more than serving its purpose at this moment. Erwin chuckles quietly as he surveys the scene: the two little boys in their pajamas (Armin with his stripes, Eren with his Monster High print) stretched out in feline-like, awkward angles, softly snoring away with evidence of lemon tart smeared on their faces, a popcorn bowl tipped on its side between them. Kneeling down, Erwin gently lifts his son into his arms. The rustling wakes Eren, who blinks sleepily at father and son.  
  
“Is it time for bed?” Eren whines, rubbing his eyes.  
  
“Yes, Eren, it’s definitely time for bed.”  
  
“Okay,” Eren yawns as he hoists himself up, his hair sticking every which way. With Armin securely shifted to one arm, the child’s arms instinctively around his father’s neck, head on shoulder, Erwin offers his free hand to the brunet boy. Eren accepts, allowing himself to be led out and upstairs to Armin’s bedroom where a large air mattress has been made up and placed on the other side of Armin’s night stand.   
  
“I should brush my teeth,” Eren moans as he sits on the air mattress, watching Erwin tuck Armin into bed through half-lidded eyes. “But I don’t want to.”  
  
“I won’t tattle, if that’s what you’re worried about.”  
  
“I’ll brush them in the morning,” Eren promises himself more than Erwin as he climbs under the covers. Erwin stares down at the little boy, unsure of the protocol for tucking in a child not his own. Eren seems to be as much of a novice as Erwin, staring back up at him expectantly.

"I miss my dad."

"Do you want to go home?" Erwin asks kindly.

"No," Eren insists with a firm shake of his head. "I want to stay.”  
  
“Is there anything I can do to help?” Erwin offers, doing his best to hide his nerves. He does not want to fail Eren, or Levi for that matter.  
  
“Is there a night light?” Eren inquires timidly.  
  
“Yes, actually,” Erwin reaches over to a friendly smiling aqua colored globe sitting on a molded cloud and pushes a button, the darkened ceiling suddenly illuminated with tiny stars.  
  
“Wooooow,” Eren marvels.

“Oh, that's right!” Erwin starts, remembering something. “Hang on for a second.” Erwin exits, leaving Eren to nearly nod off before he returns with a pink plush ladybug with a hard plastic shell. “Armin said you might want one, too. He meant to give you this when you two went to bed, but he did not anticipate knocking out before the movie was over. I think he’ll understand if I give it to you now, since you like his octo globe.”  
  
Gasping, Eren reaches for the ladybug and cuddles her close. Upon inspection, he discovers she not only has a night sky of her own, but a sound feature for soft waves. It reminds Eren of going to the beach with his dad.   
  
“Thank you, Mr. Smith,” Eren replies as another wide yawn overcomes him.   
  
“You’re welcome,” Erwin says he he pulls the covers up to Eren’s chin and makes sure all three of the boys stuffed animals are securely tucked around him. “Goodnight, Eren. Pleasant dreams.”  
  
 _That was instinctual after all,_ Erwin marvels internally as he quietly slinks out of the starry-lit room.

* * *

Roaring through the Pasadena neighborhoods at just past the crack of dawn was probably not the most merciful of gestures one can partake in on a Sunday morning, but Levi has exactly zero fucks to give about noise ordinance laws at the moment. He knows he is early, too, and that annoys him, because he doesn't want to be _that_ dad, but he is completely that dad. Pacing Smith's driveway, Levi keeps his attention trained on his watch, his eyes following the second hand. The front door whips open, giving Levi a start as he leaps back on the gravel and looks up to see Erwin smirking down at him.

  
"I knew you would be here early." Erwin says with an eat shit grin. "Good morning."

"I'm always early for a free meal," Levi says with a scowl, stomping up the steps to the porch.

"Right. Come on in." Erwin leads the way into the house where delicious aromas of meat, butter and some sort of pastry greet his nose like a lover's caress. Levi suddenly realizes how hungry he is, but his mind is still one-tracked, keeping his eyes peeled for Eren.

"The boys should be downstairs any minute," Erwin reassures his houseguest as they make their way to the kitchen. "I gave them a shake at seven-thirty, they grumbled and swatted at me, but I think it did the trick."

"Daddy?" Eren's voice echoes from the up the back staircase, a servant's stairs more than likely back in the home’s early days. Two sets of footsteps tumble down to the kitchen, Eren clutching his ladybug in one hand.

"There's me birthday boy!" Sasha exclaims as she sets down her spatula and opens her arms for Armin to throw himself into. Noisy kisses descend upon the boy's fluffy blonde bedhead, eliciting giggles out of Armin. "There now, nine kisses and one to grow on," Sasha ended her affectionate assault with a dramatically exaggerated kiss on his cheek.   
As Sasha bestowed Armin with birthday kisses, Eren wraps his arms around Levi's middle and beams up at him. "Daddy, I did it! I slept over and wasn't scared."

"I’m so proud of you," Levi praises, brushing back Eren's unruly hair.  
  
"I got a _little_ scared, but Armin's Poppa helped," Eren said, holding up his ladybug. "He gave me this. It lights up and makes music. It helped me sleep."  
Speechless, Levi tries desperately to quickly process this information and come up with an adequate response to convey his overwhelming gratitude.   
  
“That’s cool.”

_You are a fucking poet, Ackerman._

“Breakfast is served!” Sasha announces, shooing the foursome to the kitchen table. “We have all of Armin’s favorites: soft boiled eggs, tartine, fresh fruit, black pudding, weinerbröd, rashers which I had to drive all of the way to the end of the damn world to find,”

“Santa Monica,” Erwin explains under his breath to Levi.

“...a tamago-something Japanese eggy omelet only Armin loves, and fresh squeezed orange juice.”  
  
“The best part of American food,” Armin declares quietly with an extra long sip of juice.

“Dig in, everyone,” Sasha encourages as she sets down the last plate.

“Aren’t you going to eat with us, Sasha?”  
  
“No,” Sasha replies. “I ate enough testing it along the way. I’m wrecked; I’m going back to bed. Toodle-oo!”

“Toodle-oo!” The boys and Erwin call back.  
  
“Where did you find her?” Levi asks after Sasha departs.  
  
“Osaka,” Erwin answers. “She was waitressing at a ramen-ya...there was an incident.” He shrugs evasively, glancing at the boys so as to alert Levi certain details need to be omitted from the story. “She found herself suddenly unemployed, and I just so happened to be in the market for a nanny.”  
  


* * *

“Are you two going to stay in your pajamas all day, or are you going to go get dressed?” Erwin asks pointedly, watching Eren make a game of his ladybug trying to sneak off with the remainder of Armin’s tartine. Full and happy with birthday glee, the boys disintegrate into laughter and inside jokes only they find mindless humor in. Scuttling off with a echoing laughter, Eren and Armin leave their fathers alone to pick over the breakfast and catch up.

“Thank you, Smith.” Levi says quietly after a time, idly stabbing the crumbs on his plate.  
  
“For what?” Erwin asks innocently.  
  
“You caught on that Eren was scared from the get-go and had a solution.”  
  
“I thought if the fear is being away from you for the night, it would be ideal to make your presence the goal for braving it out.”

Levi nods lightly at that, deciding he owes Smith an explanation.  
  
“At the end of his first grade year, one of the boys in Eren’s class had a birthday sleepover. Eren was excited, but nervous that the other boys would tease him because he still sucks his thumb. As the night wore on, Eren got anxious about being away from home, and when he is anxious, he sucks his thumb and holds his stuffed animals.”  
  
“Mickey and the Bat doll?” Erwin interrupts.

“Right,” Levi confirms before going on. “The boys teased him, upsetting him further and he insisted on going home. So I get a call at ten o’clock at night to pick Eren up because he started fighting with one of the boys.” Levi shakes his head and waves it off. “He’s had a rough go of it since that incident. I put him in karate that summer to teach him some discipline and all of that Mr. Miyagi zen concentration shit, which has helped, but…” Levi shrugs. “It’s Armin that inspires Eren to be a better person.”

“Overflowing with paternal joy that I am at that,” Erwin states with his palm spread across his heart. “This is a two-way street of gratitude. Armin has always been content to live in his shell with only his books for company. Eren came in Kool-Aid Man style and Armin has not been happier.”

Levi narrows his eyes ever so slightly at the other man.

“Did you just compare my precious son and only child to an anthropomorphic pitcher of fucking Kool-Aid?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
Levi scrutinizes the other man before conceding, “Accurate.”

They share a laugh followed by an awkwardly comforting silence before a strange ringing noise echoed throughout the house.   
  
“Excuse me,” Erwin says as he gets up and races to a computer in the adjacent thruway between kitchen and family room. He quickly answers the Skype call ringing in.

“‘Allo?” A heavily accented female voice calls out.

“Hello, dear!” Erwin exclaims jovial. “Bonjour!”

“‘Allo, bonjour, Erwin! Where is my birthday boy?”  
  
“I’ll get him.” Erwin runs over to the bottom of the staircase and calls up, “Armin! It’s your mother!”

“Maman!” Armin races downstairs with Eren close at his heels. They are still in their pajamas, Levi notes with exasperation. Armin sits in front of the communal computer and waves jubilantly. “Allo, maman!”  
  
“Bon anniversaire mon cher!”

“Maman, I want you to meet my best friend, Eren.” Armin pulls Eren close to the monitor so both boys are in view.  
  
“‘Allo, Eren!”  
  
“Hello,” Eren replies, looking at Armin for guidance on how to navigate the conversation.  
  
And this is where Levi’s comprehension of the French language abruptly stops, as Armin and his birth mother begin to speak in rapid French with some English for Eren’s benefit and what he assumes is Danish being bandied about for good measure. Levi has a better understanding why Eren was so initially impressed with the blond little boy; his gift of languages is truly astounding. Armin easily bandies between the three languages being spoken as if they are one in the same; his trifecta mother tongue. Erwin closes a door separating the kitchen and thruway before returning to clear the table. Levi gets up to help him.  
  
“Hey,” Erwin admonishes. “What are you doing? Sit down; you’re my guest.”  
  
“Shut up, Smith,” Levi huffs with an eyeroll as he continues to assist. As he turns on the faucet in the big farmhouse sink and waits for it to turn scalding hot, Levi asks, “So, how does she do that? Make a phone call on the computer?”  
  
“Skype? You haven’t heard of Skype?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“It can call phones, or computer to computer in text, audio or audio visual based chats.”  
  
“How much does it cost?”  
  
“It’s free. I mean, I have a premium account, but that’s because I use it every single day and call phones. That costs, but computer to computer video chatting is totally free.”  
  
Levi nods approvingly. “I have a friend in Germany. This Skype thing would come in handy. I mean, I’m ok with email, but I have to reply at work. I guess I’d have to use this Skype at work, too, though. Hm.”  
  
“Why is that?”  
  
“I don’t have a computer at home.”

Stupified by this revelation, Erwin does not have a chance to reply before before Levi quietly adds, “I’m amazed you let Armin call her mother and keep in contact with her. I...would never show Eren so much as a photo of the woman who gave birth to him.”  
  
This tidbid of information astonishes Erwin, rendering him nearly speechless, save for the need to elaborate on his particular circumstances. “Nanaba is an old friend, so it never made sense to keep them from developing a relationship.”

Levi shakes his head lightly as he rinses each plate before handing them to Erwin to stack in the dishwasher.  
  
“That makes it all the stranger to me.”

“Truth be told, I think I would have had a nervous breakdown had it been anyone less than a close friend,” Erwin confesses. “Armin was born four and a half weeks early.” He crosses his arms and looks away, acutely aware of his vulnerability as he recalls this excruciating time in his life. “Even after she was released with a clean bill of health, Nanaba sat with me, day after day, making sure I slept, ate and showered. Never asked a thing for herself, just wanted this teeny, perfect creature she helped create to get better and go home with his poppa.”

“Eren was born a little early,” Levi relates in a quieter voice than usual. “Nothing as frightening as that.” Even though no one would label Levi a pep-talker, the raven haired man gives it a go, if only to erase the sadness from Erwin’s face. “But Armin’s sharp as a fucking tack; I’d be shocked as hell if you told me there were any lingering effects of a premature birth.”

“Thank you. No, there doesn’t seem to be. We lucked out.”

“So don’t mope, Smith,” Levi orders, giving the other man a playful nudge with his elbow.  
  
They finish loading the dishwasher in considerably better spirits, a warm and comfortably domestic feeling settling between them.   
  


Levi politely waits until Armin’s Skype call with his mother is finished before pulling Eren away and insisting he dress and pack his belongings.

“What do you say, Eren?” Levi prompts when the boys return, fully dressed with Eren’s backpack of possessions now on Levi’s shoulder.  
  
“Thank you, Armin, thank you, Mr. Smith for inviting me over,” Eren replies dutifully. “I had the best time ever!”

He and Armin embrace.

“Thank you for the book. I’m going to love it forever.”

“And thank you for my ladybug!” Eren exclaims, holding up his new sleep aid.

“You’re most welcome, Eren.”  
  
“See you Monday!”

“Catch you later, Smith,” Levi says in an offhanded manner as he leads Eren by with one hand and uses the other to slip his shades over his eyes. Briefly, he looks over his shoulder and mouths, “Thanks.”

Erwin merely nods and waves goodbye.

* * *

  
“Scoooooooooots!” Eren calls as soon as he is inside the house and his shoes are off. The black shorthair cat greets his buddy with a chastising meow, unhappy to have been left alone for so long. After plopping Eren’s backpack on the boy’s bed, Levi makes a beeline for his bedroom where he flops unceremoniously on his own bed and closes his eyes. He thinks back to loading the dishwasher with Erwin, the odd domesticity of the scenario and how undeniably attractive the whole situation was. Unsure if he can trust such an unfamiliar situation and emotion, Levi finds himself beyond confuddled.  
  


 _What is this?_ Levi muses. _A crush? Actual chemistry between us? No. I’m just a lonely loser who hasn’t had a proper fuck in an abysmally long time. He probably didn’t even ask me out on a real date, anyway. He certainly didn’t say date, or dinner. Coffee. What is that? My blue balls just read it that way because coffee is so goddamn ambiguous these days. Fuck. This is not true romance; it’s lust. He’s hot and I am around him frequently, and it’s clouding my perception. That’s it, end of story._

 _There is only one way to find out,_ Levi figures as he rolls over to the other side of his bed and picks up the phone on his bed stand.

"Road kill cafe, you kill ‘em, we grill 'em."

"That joke wasn't even funny twenty years ago."

“I am always a bag of chuckles,” Farlan shoots back dryly. “What’s up?”

“If I can sweet talk Isabel into watching Eren, you want to go out tonight or this week? Shoot some pool, have a couple of beers?”  
  
“Get some ass?” Farlan finishes for Levi.  
  
“Well,” Levi replies lowly, ignoring that niggling feeling in the back of his head that alerts him whenever he has a particularly awful idea. “Whatever happens, happens.”


	7. Take On Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'We're talking away  
> Though I don't know what I'm to say  
> I'll say it anyway  
> Today's another day to find you  
> Shying away  
> I'll be coming for your love, OK?'  
> \- A-Ha (Take On Me)

Atop his step-stool, Armin places the finish touches on his LEGO mountain side, making sure the highest peak crooks to his satisfaction. Carefully descending backwards, Armin takes a step back from his massive project and surveys his work with pride. The backyard with its pool, spa and brick patio may have captured Poppa’s heart when they initially searched for a home, but it was the library that sealed the deal for Armin. Multistoried with a curved stairway and a fireplace, the library is straight out of Armin’s dreams. His Poppa, in a rare moment of going against Armin’s pleading, adamantly refused to allow Armin to use the library as his bedroom. _Something about never seeing me..._  
Poppa did compromise on turning the stately library into the LEGO room, though, allowing Armin to take over the upper level of the library with his massive shelving unit where he keeps every single LEGO piece neatly organized.

“Poppa, come see the mountain!” Armin calls, clinging to the bannister and looking down on his Poppa sitting in a tall backed chair. “It really towers over the Neverwood!” His Poppa does not seem to hear him, so Armin heads downstairs, pausing on the stairs to study his father.

 _Poppa has been acting strange for a while,_ Armin thinks as he slowly creeps down the rest of the stairs and approaches his father’s chair. There is a book open in Poppa’s hand, but Poppa merely stares blankly at it...as if he is not really reading at all.

“Poppa?” Armin asks tentatively, brushing his fingertips softly at his father’s shoulder. Erwin gives a start before looking up at his son apologetically.

“Hey, there, Mini Me. What’s up?”  
  
“Are you okay?” Armin asks with worry.

“Yes, of course. I was just daydreaming; didn’t hear you sneak up on me.”  
  
“You daydream a lot.”  
  
“Do I?”  
  
“A lot more than usual,” Armin corrects with a wry smile. “Is everything alright?”

 _Soon there will be no secret too squirreled away that my intuitive little boy can’t suss out of me,_ Erwin thinks with an inward sigh.   
  
“Yes, Armin. I’m fine.”

“Are we moving again?” Armin asks fearfully, his blue eyes wide with trepidation.

“Oh, ducks. No, is that what you’re worried about?” Erwin sets aside his book, sits up and hoists his son into his lap. Though the nine-year-old typically complains about such babyish treatment, Armin is clearly too concerned to care about keeping up appearances.  
  
“When you get daydreamy, we usually end up moving,” Armin explains with a slight whine to his voice, something Erwin rarely hears. “I don’t want to move away, I like it here. I like my school, and I’m quite happy because I have a best friend. I never want to leave Eren.”

Erwin sets aside the selfish wound of a single, lonely man and puts on his best reassuring Poppa smile, mustering all of his paternal love forward to hide the other side of himself well away from his clever little boy.

“We’re not moving, Armin. The thought has not even crossed my mind once. I am tickled pink you have Eren for a best friend, and I don’t want to separate you two. Besides. A promise is a promise, right?”  
  
“Right,” Armin repeats, tentative relief on his face.   
  
“Your Poppa is just…” Erwin pauses, shifting uncomfortably in his seat as he realizes he cannot burden his child with his very grown up angst. _Your Poppa is simply ass over tits for your best mate’s father. Who acts like he can’t hardly stand to be in the same room with me because I am so obviously attracted to him. That’s all!_ “Your Poppa is just daydreaming of a new business venture.”  
  
“Oh!” Armin softly exclaims, his smile returning along with the rosy bloom of his cheeks.   
  
“Now,” Erwin sets his son on his feet and stands up. “What is it you wanted to show me?”

Armin takes him by the hand and leads him up the curved staircase, all smiles and chatting away about the latest addition to his Neverland LEGO creation.

_Maybe if I can convince Armin I’m okay, I will actually fool myself...Then I’ll see him all over again and the vicious cycle will repeat. Jesus. I’m no better than a lovesick teenager. Someone pass me a Morrissey album, please._

* * *

“But _why_ are you going out?” Eren whines as he watches his father in the bathroom mirror, preparing to shave. “It’s a school night.”

“Daddy needs a night off, Eren,” Levi explains before turning to his son and smearing Eren’s cheeks and chin with excess shaving cream. “And school night rules apply to you, not me. I finished school.”  
  
“But you have work,” Eren argues back as he mimics the motions of shaving using his index finger as the razor.

“Eren, we have been through this. Isabel is going to come over and hang out with you; you’re going to have a really fun time with her, she’ll tuck you in, you’ll go to sleep and I will be here when you wake up. End of story.”  
  
“I guess,” Eren huffs under his breath.

“What, you don’t like Aunt Isabel anymore?”  
  
“Yes I do! I just want to hang out with you tonight.”  
  
“You hang out with me every night, kiddo.”  
  
“Yeah, but tonight is special.”  
  
“Oh, yeah? Why?”

Eren clearly has not thought of an answer, and reaches for reason. “B-because I was going to read to you tonight.”

“Read to me?” Levi quirks a suspicious brow. “Like how Armin reads to you?”  
  
“Yes. I picked out a long chapter book from the library.”  
  
Levi admires Eren’s commitment to the blatant lie, rewarding him with biting his tongue instead of calling him out on it. “You can read to me tomorrow night, little monster.”  
  
Eren growls in displeasure, but continues to pretend shave as his father finishes his own grooming routine.

“Go get your jammies on, Eren,” Levi orders as he exits the bathroom through the door that leads to his bedroom. He is not surprised when Eren follows him instead of complying to his command. Unwilling to rise to the bait Eren sets before him, Levi continues his business of fishing out an outfit.

“Jammies?” Eren scoffs as he flops belly down on his father’s bed. “It’s not even seven-thirty yet! I stay up until nine.”

“You go to bed at eight-thirty; you can read until nine.”  
  
“Nearly nine,” Eren contradicts.

“Eren...I love you. You are the light of my life, and I would do anything for you. But, baby, you’re driving daddy batshit crazy and I’m gonna throttle you if you don’t march your little butt to your room and get your jammies on.”

With a huff and petulant sigh, Eren gets up and storms out of his father’s room leaving Levi to dress in peace.

Levi does not hear so much as a peep out of Eren until well after he is dressed and gliding on silver eyeliner just as the doorbell rings.

“You know, you have a set of keys,” Levi scolds as he opens the door to Isabel and Farlan.

“We don’t want to be rude,” Isabel teases as she kicks off her shoes. Farlan hangs back on the porch.

“You ready?”

“Nooooooooooooooooo!” Eren howls as he races towards the living room, his Hello Kitty jammies on. “Daddy, don’t go! Don’t leave me!”

“Eren,” Levi sighs, on the verge of pleading with his son to let him go. He hates that Eren can pick at his insecurities so easily. _Just who is the parent anyway, Ackerman?_

“Please don’t go!” Eren begs, throwing his arms around Levi’s waist. Levi runs a hand roughly through Eren’s messy brown locks, debating how he ought to handle this.

“Eren, do you want a swat on the ass?” Levi demands.  
  
“No,” Eren sniffles.

“Then you be good and mind Isabel.”

“But,”  
  
“No but’s, unless you want your butt to get a swat. Do I make myself clear?”  
  
“I love you, Daddy.”  
  
_Goddamn this kid is as adorable as he is infuriating. How can I even threaten him with a spanking when he pulls out all of the cute?_

“I love you, too, little monster.” Grabbing his leather jacket from the hook affix on the entry way closet door, Levi lets Eren cling to him a moment more as he swings the jacket around and swoops it on. “OK, pal. Daddy has to hit the road.”  
  
“Come on, Eren,” Isabel chimes in at last. “I brought popcorn and a bunch of other junk food your daddy doesn’t approve of. We’ll stuff ourselves silly and watch a movie!”

“Which movie did you bring?” Eren asks, his attention diverting to his auntie.

“The Witches and Beetle Juice!”

Eren releases his father in favor of his aunt. “OK, let me go get Mickey! You start the popcorn, Isabel!”

“Hey!” Levi calls as Eren abandons them to race down the hall. “Give your old man a kiss goodnight.”

“Ooops, sorry, daddy,” Eren says as he dashes back to comply. Levi gives his exasperating son a quick bear hug and kiss on the forehead.

“Be good.”  
  
“I will!” Eren huffs. “Bye!”

“See ya,” Farlan waves to his little sister and nephew before he and Levi mount their respective motorcycles.

“You eat?”  
  
“I had a bowl of mac n’ cheese,” Levi replies with a shrug.

“Well, I’m fucking starving, so let’s order a pizza from that hole in the wall next to Blue Moon, okay?”  
  
“See you there,” Levi says with a nod as he snaps his helmet strap and takes off.

* * *

“Bonjour, Nanaba.” Erwin greets as soon as his old friend’s face pops up on the monitor.

“This is a pleasant surprise,” Nanaba remarks in her thick Danish-French accent before frowning. “Is something wrong with Armin?”

“No, no,” Erwin reassures her. “He’s fine; he’s fast asleep. No, I was calling because we didn’t get a chance to catch up on Sunday when you called for Armin’s birthday. It’s been a while, so, I figured since you’re an early bird, I would see if could catch you before work.”

“Of course, of course,” Nanaba says as she gets up, revealing her kitchen behind her. “Do not mind if I make my breakfast. I need coffee.”

“Yes, of course.”  
  
“Are you enjoying this new life in Los Angeles?”  
  
“So far, so good,” Erwin answers. “Armin has really taken a shine to the Pasadena area, so if he’s happy, I’m happy.”  
  
“Yes, he introduced to me to his little friend. Eren, is it?”  
  
“Yes, Eren Ackerman. A very funny little boy.”

“Oh? He is a comedian?”  
  
“Ah. Unintentionally so.”  
  
“You like this boy? He seemed nice from what I experienced. Armin seems over the moon having such a close friend.”  
  
“They’re rather inseparable,” Erwin agrees jovially. “I could not have imagined a more polar opposite friend for Armin, yet now I see how well they compliment one another in personality. They each bring out these hidden gems in one another. Ah, I can’t explain it.”  
  
“No, no, I understand,” she says as she pours her freshly brewed coffee into a mug. “And the parents of Eren? Do they feel the same way?”  
  
“Parent,” Erwin corrects automatically. “Levi is a single father, too.”  
  
“Divorced?”  
  
“No, he’s uh, well I’m not sure the circumstances regarding Eren’s mother.”

“But you two get along, no?”

“Oh, yes. Yes, yes. I mean, he’s a bit distant, but it’s not as if he’s singling me out. Quite the contrary, I’m probably the parent he gets along with most of all.” A smile tugs at the corner of Erwin’s mouth as he momentarily lets his mind wander before reeling his focus back to his conversation. “He can be caustic, cantankerous, and downright brusque even. But he adores his son, and is particularly apt with Armin. He’s bitingly hilarious, kind despite his gruff exterior, and…” Erwin sighs.

“Erwin.”  
  
“Hm?” Erwin cannot look at his friend even as his cheeks color.

“I think there is something on your mind, no?”

Giving up on any lingering pretense, Erwin proceeds to emotionally vomit his feelings onto his friend.

* * *

“You know what your problem is?” Farlan asks as he squints up at Levi from the rim of his glass of beer.  
  
“No. But I’m sure you’re going to enlighten me, drunky.”

“You use Eren as a human shield. Like, a super cute, kind of perpetually messy shield.”  
  
“Uh huh.”

Farlan sets his beer down on the table he and Levi commandeered for the purposes of holding their pitcher of Corona and their large pepperoni and olive pizza. He begins to rack the pool table, adjusting the solids from stripes as Levi weighs the cue sticks in his hands.

“You need to just jump out there and do it, you know?”

“The fuck you call tonight? I initiated!”

“No, no, no. You need to jump out there,” Farlan emphasizes whatever point he is trying to get across with a nod to the window. “In the dating game. With Mr. Hot Blond Nerd.”

“We’ll see,” Levi mutters under his breath before handing off one stick to Farlan and adding, “It’s too late.”  
  
“It’s never too late!” Farlan declares as he breaks.

* * *

“You love this man.” Nanaba declares.

“I am smitten with him," Erwin corrects, a glass of red wine now in his hands. All of that confessing took a toll on his nerves; some Pinot Noir down the hatch calmed him, but made his emotions more poignantly felt. "Truth is, I don’t even really know him.”  
  
“But you want to know him, as more than just a friend.”

“Yes,” Erwin admits, feeling a flush all over his face this time. Definitely not wine related. “But he shot me down pretty firmly.”  
  
“And you cannot accept this?”  
  
“It isn’t a matter of cannot; I have accepted it. I’d be an asshole if I didn’t.” Erwin sighs. “I just carried on as if I had never asked him out.”

“I think this is the right course of action. I know you agree. So what is the problem?”  
  
A sad smile breaks across Erwin’s face. “It’s been a long while since I felt this kind of...hurt.”

“This is what you call a crush. I think it is fairly self-explanatory.”

“It would be easier to get over him if I didn’t see him so often. Sasha does all of the dropping off and picking up now, but the boys get together quite often outside of school and,” Erwin shakes his head. “This is stupid. Utterly ridiculous. I am not sixteen years old, damn it.”

“There is nothing wrong with your feelings, Erwin. They are valid. You have always been a very passionate man.” Nanaba takes a bite of the tartine she made for breakfast. “It has been a long while since Mike, no?”

Erwin sighs. “Too long, I suppose. I miss having someone to take along with me on business trips, to go exploring with between meetings. Try new restaurants with, hell, just go to a movie. What have I been doing? Dragging poor Armin all over creation in the name of culture exposure when all it really boils down to is I am afraid to be alone. I just want a companion, but someone, forgive me for sounding so Californian, a bit more yin to my yang. Someone that’ll make me laugh and keep me on my toes.”  
  
“And this Levi is qualified?”  
  
Erwin takes a long sip of wine before answering: “In abundance.”

* * *

With half of their pizza and beer gone, and two games of pool behind them, Levi and Farlan continue their game of armchair psychology.

“OK, but what are you afraid of?” Farlan finally throws back at his best friend as he nails another striped ball into the side pocket. “Like, really. What is the absolute worst thing that can happen if you go out with this guy?”

Levi actually contemplates the question instead of brushing it off with a snide remark. He knows Farlan has drunk well beyond boozy philosopher status and has reached some sort of sobering zenith that Levi actually respects. Additionally, Levi’s own inhibitions are not as staunchly erect.

“The absolute worst thing,” Levi muses out loud. “Is that we don’t work out, and the kids are the ones to suffer for it.”

“Why would it matter to them?”

“They would get attached to the idea of us being together,” Levi explains with a shrug. “And if we broke up, they would be upset. I don’t want to endanger their friendship.”

Farlan twists his mouth in contemplation before offering another tidbit of beer-soaked wisdom.

“You can’t live your life like that, dude.”

“Like what?” Levi asks as he shoots and misses the solid orange five ball in the corner left pocket.

“Like a...like...playing the what if’s. What if you put yourself out there? What if you get hurt? What if you don’t? What if, hey, now, what if you and Mr. Blond Tech Guy Dude Armin’s Dad fall crazy in love, get married and have more kids together? Huh? What about that what if?”

Levi barks with laughter. “What if you’re fucking nuts?”

“What if you live all of your life like you are now...and Eren grows up. Finishes school, gets a job, moves away...and you’re left all alone. I mean,” Farlan places a hand on his heart. “I’ll always be here for you, ‘course, but it’s different. So what if you’re there, down that road, and you look back and just see a life full of regrets? And the one thought that keeps fucking with you is, ‘I should have at least tried’.”

Levi grows somber as he lets the slurred words of his best and oldest friend sink in.

“I hate when you have a modicum of sense in your drunken therapy.”  
  
“I prefer to think of it as,” Farlan hiccups and burps. “Drunk-Fu.”

A brawny brunet man slightly younger than Levi approaches their pool table, keeping his eyes on Levi as he asks, “Can I play winner?”

Levi gives Farlan a sly look over his shoulder, indicating Farlan’s role as wingman is now center stage.

“Sure,” Farlan replies with a shrug, knocking his elbow against the eight ball hard enough to tip it into the side pocket. “Ooops. How careless of me. Guess it’s your turn.” He tosses his cue stick to the other man as he makes his way over to the room temperature pizza, grabbing a slice and tearing into it as he takes a seat.

“Solids or stripes?” Levi asks as he starts to rack the balls for a new game.

* * *

After an hour and some change of alternating game play between the three men, with Farlan strategically retreating to a corner of the bar every time the stranger gets a little closer to his best friend, Levi finally plucks up the gumption to ask the man if he wants to move on from their current location.

“You sure you want to do this?” Farlan asks under his breath when Levi bids him farewell for the evening. Farlan isn’t preachy or suspicious as much as he looks...disappointed. Levi cannot look him in the eyes.  
  
“I have to.”

“Why?”  
  
“Consider it a science experiment.”

“What?” Farlan laughs.

“Biology.”

“Mmmhmmm.”

Levi’s expression turns earnest. “Really, though. If all I’m feeling is just…basic human needs, then this ought to take care of it,” Levi finishes with a gentle nod in the direction of the other man, closing out his tab.  
  
“And if not? If you go home and wake up tomorrow with the same warm and squishy feelings for Armin’s dad?”

“I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. If I get to it.”

“Party on, Wayne.” Farlan raises his glass to Levi.

“Party on, Garth," Levi recites automatically before giving his pal a cuff on the shoulder. "Oh, hey, what about you? You going to be alright?”  
  
“Oh, yeah,” Farlan shoots a meaningful glance at a busty red haired woman sitting with among her chattering girlfriends. “Me and Red are going to get further acquainted.”

“Your bisexuality continues to scandalize me,” Levi groans as he reaches for his wallet to pay for his half of their tab. Farlan waves him off.

“No, no, my treat. You were a supremely open minded patient tonight. Your doctor thanks you for your time.”  
  
“Prognosis?”  
  
“In need of a good dicking. Take one up the ass and call me in the morning.”

“How about I see you at work tomorrow?”

“That, too.”

“Cheers.” Levi sticks his wallet back in his hidden breast pocket before giving the red head another glance and adding, “She kinda looks like Isabel, don’t you think?”  
  
Farlan nearly chokes on his mouthful of beer before managing to swallow and yelling after a departing Levi, “That is not even remotely fucking funny, you jackass!”

* * *

Slinking into the house just shy of one-thirty, Levi is not all that surprised to see Isabel curled up on the couch, a blanket around her knees and a couple of Red Vines clutched in her fist. Silently tsking as he hangs up his leather jacket, Levi then pulls the blanket up to her chin and tucks it in before adding another and tugging the licorice out of her hands to toss it away.

Levi makes a beeline for the bathroom, eager to rid himself of the coitus rank lingering on his person. As he cranks on the water and waits for the heat to kick in, Levi strips and chucks his clothes in the hamper. He briefly contemplates burning them before deciding it would be a pointless waste.

Once he is adequately clean and all traces of his relatively anonymous tryst have washed down the drain, Levi enters his bedroom and gives a start. There, all tucked in and cozy in the center of his bed, is Eren, Mickey Mouse, Batly and Lady Bug emanating her soft, soothing glow and gentle aquatic sounds. Levi’s heart melts like ice cream during the first heatwave of summer. Careful not to wake up his son, Levi slips into bed behind Eren and tenderly spoons him, giving him a kiss on the head.

Levi lays awake and reflects on his evening, loathing the chasm of emptiness his one-night stand leaves him with. Where once this routine gave him a new pep in his step, he feels lead-footed and queasy. There is no fun in it anymore; nothing sexy about coming home alone in the middle of the night to a bed he did not share with anyone except his well-meaning little boy. _A little boy who deserves more from his father,_ Levi thinks to himself. _He is worth every sacrifice, every adult decision, every mundane task. But so am I. **I** am worthy of a chance. A chance at happiness for me means a chance at happiness for Eren, too._

With resolve in his heart and the sound of gentle mechanical waves lapping against the shore in his ears, Levi finally drifts off to sleep.

* * *

Massaging his temples as he takes deep, resonating breaths, Erwin tries not to nit-pick all of the details of the business call he just concluded. It went fine, more than fine, but still Erwin stresses over the nitty-gritty. He is so close to launching this new venture, and with all of the chips aligning as they should, Erwin finds it difficult to resist superstition. Preoccupation with these thoughts causes him to give a violent a start when his mobile goes off in a flurry of customized sound bytes. Erwin furrows his brow as he checks the caller ID:

**SGV Classics**   
  


“Hello?” He answers cautiously.

“You sound out of breath, Smith,” comes Levi Ackerman’s voice from the other end. “You run a marathon or something?”

“Wha- no. I just...Hello. Good morning.”

“Good morning.”

There is a pregnant pause before Erwin prompts, “So, uh…how are,”

“I was wondering,” Levi interrupts abruptly. “Is that offer to have coffee together still good?”

It is Erwin’s turn to pause as he plays the words over and over in his head, even as they ring in his ears. Had he heard correctly?  
  
“Smith?”

“Yes!” Erwin cries. “I mean, yes. Yes. Definitely yes.”

“Good. ‘Cause we need to set rules.”

“Right. Rules.”

“I can meet you during my lunch hour sometime this afternoon, between noon and three. Does that work?”

“Yes. Wait. I don’t know.” Erwin slams his meaty hand on the mouse, bringing up his Google Drive. “Hang on. Let me check with Ilse.”

“Ilse?”  
  
“My assistant. She schedules my whole life; I would be lost without her.” He checks his color coded spreadsheet for the week, carefully looking over each hour Ilse has planned. “I can meet you at 1:30, if that works.”  
  
“It works.”  
  
“Great!” _Erwin, you sound mental. Take it down a notch._ He clears his throat and in a considerably calmer voice asks, “Where?”  
  
“Zephyr. I’ll text you the address.”

\---

Levi knows from his tone it did not sound like a date - or even a pre-date as he insists on referring to it as - but if he permits himself to get too caught up in the emotion of it all, he would have lost his nerve halfway through the conversation. Is Erwin excited, or is it his imagination? He did say definitely yes, which Levi takes as a positive sign.

  
“Goooood mornin’,” Farlan chirps merrily as he enters the shop. Levi thanks his lucky stars he was able to complete his phone call before his best friend could eavesdrop, especially since he used the office phone.

“Hey,” Levi greets as he gets up and takes his work coveralls out of his locker. Farlan joins him.

“I didn’t expect you here so early,” Farlan notes with a knowing glint in his eye. “Didn’t go well with that guy last night?”  
Levi shrugs. “It went as expected.”  
  
"Meaning?"

"Meaning it went as expected," Levi reiterates, shooting his best friend a look of annoyance at being prompted for details Levi is unprepared to give at this moment.

"Meaning you got your rocks off, but didn't particularly care for it and slinked off home at your earliest convenience."

"Something like that."

"And now you're going to call Mr. blond Tech Nerd and ask him out."

Wiping his oily hands on a rag at his waistband, Levi dodges around the side of the Plymouth they are working on, attempting to dodge the question as well.

"Oh, come on! That was the whole point of last nights little exercise, wasn't it? You're such a weasel sometimes," Farlan scolds as he charges after Levi, then catches the red tinged cheeks Levi is trying to hide. "Oh wow. You already did, didn't you?" The red deepens, prompting Farlan to whoop in delight. "You did! That's awesome! When are you two meeting?"

"Lunch."

"What, today? Jesus that's quick. Good job." Farlan nudges his pal before carrying on his work.

"Have to," Levi explains. "I may otherwise lose my nerve."

"Good point."

* * *

Arriving earlier than intended, Erwin pokes about the coffee house with all the curiosity of a newcomer, trying to quell the lingering nerves in the pit of his belly.

After a few pointed worried glances from patrons and employees alike, Erwin takes a seat by the lace curtained window in the front corner of the house turned coffee shop. It was almost too cute of a place to imagine Levi enjoying, but perhaps this is a deliberate move. Pick a spot Levi is indifferent to, so if it all goes tits up, he can abandon the cafe without any baggage. Or perhaps it is a genuine favorite meant to be shared. Despite being the kind of place hipsters would flock to, the patrons are their age demographic: proto-hipsters for the cynical, relics of 90s grunge alt rock era turned suburbanites with actual careers and responsibilities. Erwin feels equally at home and dated.

The roar of a Harley Davidson distracts Erwin from his thoughts as he turns to peep between the curlicues and flora of the lace curtains. Levi parks directly out front in a space any four wheel vehicle would deem impossible. Erwin watches with more amusement than he will ever admit to anyone as Levi removes his helmet and has a very discordant course of action; heading up the steps only to double back to his motorcycle, pause, think, turn back and then spin on his boot heel as another wave of doubt overcomes him. Any other man might be discouraged or take the indecision personally, but Erwin is too caught up in the adorableness of it all to do much else other then rest his chin dreamily on the heel of his hand and smile.

Finally, Levi gathers his gusto and embarks up the steps and into the coffee house. He doesn't see Erwin initially, giving an almost worried look as if he did not nearly cave into a case of cold feet himself. He finally spies Erwin, his expression quickly engaging Poker Face Mode as he walks over.

"Been waiting long?"

"Just got here." Erwin assures him pleasantly as Levi takes the seat opposite. They sit in heavy silence before Levi jumps up.

"Want anything?"

"Hm? Oh. Italian soda."

"Flavor?"

"Vanilla."

Levi eyes him with a smirk and takes off to the counter, returning with a cup of Darjeeling tea and Italian soda.

"Thank you."

Levi takes a lengthily sip of his tea before he begins.

"Just so you know... I've not really done this since Eren has come into my life. Not like this."

"Done what?"

"You know..." Levi gestures to them both. "This."

"Date?" Erwin suggests, amusement in his eyes. Levi treats the word like a filthy four letter swear.

"Yeah. I mean, I was with Farlan for a little while but," Levi shook his head. "We can only be friends." He shrugs as an afterthought, "And business partners."

"So," Erwin reiterates in a friendly but businesslike tone. "Aside from a brief relationship with your best friend and business partner, you are not in the habit of dating."

"Yeah. I'm probably bad at it."

"That's okay. It's a learning process, and we’ll learn together."

"Are you always in the habit of speaking like those cheeseball motivational bumper stickers?"

"Yes," Erwin laughs. "I suggest getting used to it now."  
  
Levi smirks; So, Smith, you’re not a complete pushover.

“You mentioned something about rules earlier?” Erwin prompts. Levi waits as a cashier delivers a plate with a sandwich and potato chips, setting a second empty plate before Erwin. When they leave, Erwin quirks his brow quizzically. Levi shrugs.

“It’s still lunch time. Dig in.” They each take a half of the California Club before Levi continues. “Yes, because there are kids involved, there have to be rules.”  
  
“Fair enough.”  
  
“Rule one: the boys come first. Always.”

“That’s a given.”  
  
“It still needs to be said.” He held up his fingers. “Rule two: there has to be an equal amount of family dates as there are...uh, grown-up only dates.”  
  
“Huh. I half expected you to say we’re to keep our sons in the dark as long as humanly possible.”  
  
“The thought did cross my mind, but while that’d work for Eren, Armin is far too clever and would catch onto us quickly. And then tell my kid.”

“So we just hide in plain sight.”  
  
“Yup.”

“OK. Rule three?”  
  
“Never say I didn’t warn you.”

Erwin’s laughter brings a flush to Levi’s face, as he semi-successfully hides behind his half of the sandwich.

“Is that it?”  
  
“Until I can think of more, yes.”  
  
“So, what now?”  
  
“You tell me; I told you, I don’t know what I’m doing.”  
  
“Alright. I guess this is the part where we talk about ourselves and get to know one another more.”  
  
“Oh,” Levi deflates, knitting his brow worryingly. “Right. That would...be a thing.”

“Are you uncomfortable talking about yourself?”  
  
“I’m not in the habit of it.” Levi looks down at the rich brown pool of his tea, feeling like he is fucking up his chances and coming up with shitty excuses to push Erwin away already. _Has he had enough of me yet?_ “But I told you before, I don’t care that you’re nosey.”

“Let’s start with something easy,” Erwin says jovially. “Parents.”

Levi takes a particularly long and noisy sip of his tea, eyeing the other man sharply from above the rim of the cup. Nothing about that topic is easy.

“Okay...maybe something else.”  
  
“I’ve been to prison,” Levi suddenly blurts under the pressure of conversation.  
  
“Excuse me?”

“I just thought,” Levi pauses mid-sentence, realizing this was perhaps not the ice breaker he intended. “Maybe you ought to know that I was there.”

“Oh. For what, if I can ask?” Erwin asks, feigning ignorance as he munches on potato chips.  
  
“You can,” Levi says, shamed that he brought it up during an otherwise pleasant lunch. “Accessory, or aiding and abetting to grand theft auto. I was originally sentenced to three years, but it got knocked down to thirteen months because it was my first offense as an adult and I decided to get my act together. I finished high school in prison and received my Good Enough Diploma.”

“Are you on probation?”

“Not anymore.”

“I see.”  
  
“It’s nothing I’m especially proud of, but if it came up down the line, I didn’t want you to think I was hiding it on purpose.”  
  
“It’s alright,” Erwin insists, secretly glad Hange tipped him off weeks ago. “We all have our youthful indiscretions.”

“Oh? And what sort of hell were you raising in Seattle, Smith?”

“I’ll have you know, Mr. Ackerman, that I downloaded quite a grip of music from Napster!”

For whatever reason, this hits a particular nerve in his funny bone and Levi bursts out laughing, drawing several stares from other patrons. The sheer volume of laughter gives Erwin a start, but he relishes in being able to give the typically stoic man such a vigorous chuckle.

 _He makes me laugh_ , Levi thrills deep inside.  
  
“So, what you’re saying is, you were a pirate?”

Erwin joins in the laughter and nods appreciatively. Once their mirth has died down, a considerably more comfortable silence settles between them.

 _This is nice,_ both men think. Reluctantly Levi checks his watch and sighs.

“I gotta go back to work.”  
  
“Alright. So, what now?”

“What now?” Levi repeats, drumming his fingers on the table between them. “We date.”

“Ooookay. How about Saturday for dinner?”

“My little sister has a bout on Saturday night. We can bring the kids.” Before Erwin can respond, Levi adds, “She isn’t my real little sister. She’s Farlan’s half-sister, but I’ve known her since she was a baby, so I’m like another older brother.”

“Alright. And what about our grown-up date?”

Levi mulls on this. Getting away from Eren in the evenings may be tough, if last night is any indicator.

“Sasha can always look after Eren, you know,” Erwin offers, sensing Levi’s dilemma. “If you’re in need of a sitter.”  
  
“That would be helpful,” Levi admits, though his feelings on relying on a nanny remain muddled. His desire for quality time with Erwin beyond an all-too brief lunch hour break outweighs his classist philosophies, though.   
  
“We'll hammer out details for the grown-up date later," Erwin says, relieving Levi and himself of making decisions without consulting their schedules first. Erwin does not relish waiting another week or so to spend quality time with Levi, but Erwin takes what he can get. "I'll consult with Ilse and we can try to nail down a date by Saturday."

“Great,” Levi mumbles as he ignores the immature, hornball teenager voice (which sounds unsurprisingly like Farlan) that echoes, "nail down" in his brain. Levi stands up to bid the other man farewell. He shoves his hands deep inside the pockets of his leather jacket and gives one solitary nod to Erwin. “See you Saturday, Smith.”

Though Levi plays it cool like any Oscar worthy actor, inside he is a bundle of nerves, his brain on repeat as one thought circles through his mind: _What did I just get myself into?!_


	8. The Warrior

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'You talk, talk, talk to me  
> You're eyes touch me physically  
> Stay with me, we'll take the night  
> As passion takes another bite  
> Oh, who's the hunter, who's the game  
> I feel the beat call your name  
> I hold you close in victory  
> I don't want to tame your animal style  
> You won't be caged  
> In the call of the wild'  
> \- Scandal (The Warrior)

Main Content  
Archive of Our Own betaArchive of Our OwnUser NavigationHi, ComradeGiddyBiscuit!PostLog Out  
we are the hunters  
Site NavigationFandomsBrowseSearchAboutSearch Works  
Work Search:   
tip: "uchiha sasuke/uzumaki naruto" angst kudos>10  
Edit ChapterDelete Chapter  
* Required information

Name, Order and Date  
Name, Order and Date  
Chapter Title ?  
The Warrior  
244 characters left

Chapter Number  
8  
of   
20

Chapter Publication Date ?  
22

November

2015  
Chapter Preface  
Chapter Preface  
Creator/Pseud(s)Agent0fChaosComradeGiddyBiscuitAdd co-creators?Chapter Summary  
'You talk, talk, talk to me  
You're eyes touch me physically  
Stay with me, we'll take the night  
As passion takes another bite  
Oh, who's the hunter, who's the game  
I feel the beat call your name  
I hold you close in victory  
I don't want to tame your animal style  
You won't be caged  
In the call of the wild'  
\- Scandal (The Warrior)  
853 characters left

Chapter Notes  
at the beginning  
at the end Warning: Unchecking this box will delete the existing end note.End Notes  
There is so much fluff within I gave myself a cavity writing this chapter. Such it is when relationships begin, no? I am pretty ahead of the game, completed chapter 11 just the other day. So again, even if we take a while to update, Nexus and I are still working on this fanfic diligently. We appreciate (nay, revel) in your feedback and thank you from the bottom of our hearts for it. 

Find me on tumblr at geek-girl-extraordinaire.tumblr.com  
4554 characters left

Chapter Text*  
Chapter Text  
Rich Text HTML  
Plain text with limited HTML ?

“Which one is your sister again?” Erwin asks over the din of the crowd, the noise echoing in the old warehouse turned home of the Los Angeles Derby Dolls. They are in downtown Los Angeles again, and most definitely not in an area Erwin had read about in any of his travel books.

“The one with the pigtails!” Eren answers for his father, jumping out of his seat in excitement. “Red Ferocia! Go! Go! Go!”

“Ah, I see her now,” Erwin observes. Levi nudges him before speaking around the popcorn in his mouth.  
  
“That freak screaming obscenities at the opposing team, about to get his block knocked off by security? That’s Farlan.”  
  
“Number one fan, hm?” Erwin chides before his vision falls on Armin, engrossed in a book, oblivious to the chaos around him. Levi follows his line of sight and grabs Erwin’s arm before the other man can tap his son on the shoulder.

Shaking his head, Levi leans up and says as quietly as he can amongst the shouting. “He’s having his own sort of fun. No need to interrupt him.”  
  
Gratefully, Erwin smiles at Levi. Erwin still has difficulty accepting that his bookworm son can be physically in the same space as others, but mentally miles away and still retain just as much joy as his the rest of the group. Many have been offended by the split attention, and Erwin often finds himself defending what he himself does not quite comprehend. _Levi gets it, though,_ Erwin muses pleasantly as he turns his attention back to the bout.

Out of the corner of his eye, Levi occasionally spies on the other man. His date.

 _How is this even happening? Is this real?_ Levi asks himself for the fiftieth time that evening. Until a week ago, Levi had all but given up on the idea of ever being able to pursue romance. Romance was nearly impossible to fathom; Levi figures he could have found a regular fuck buddy at best. Excited though he is at the prospect of dating Erwin, Levi cannot deny he is a fish out of water and that the proximity and context of the other man. gives him a mad case of the jitters. Thankfully, Erwin is too polite to comment. Or too wonderfully dense to notice.

“So, what do you think of the wild world of roller derby?” Levi inquires as he hitches Eren’s sleeping form higher up against his body. Erwin escorts them up the walkway, occasionally looking back to make sure Armin is still asleep in the car.

“It was educational,” Erwin remarks with a playful smirk.

“I’ll be sure to pass that along to Isabel,” Levi sasses as he climbs the stairs onto his porch and turns to face the other man. How very different a situation than a few weeks ago.

“Do,” Erwin encourages before a slightly awkward pause settles between them. “Ahem,” Erwin clears his throat as he rocks on the balls of his feet. “So, when shall we go out for our grown-up date?”  
  
Levi shrugs. “I’m open to suggestions.”

“In that case, how about an early dinner next week? I can ask Sasha to pick up both boys, supervise their homework and feed them dinner. Meanwhile, you and I can have a quiet dinner elsewhere.”

“Sounds good,” Levi compliments with a nod of approval. “Tuesday?”

“I’ll have to double check-”

“With Ilse,” Levi finishes. “Right.”

“With Ilse,” Erwin affirms. “See, you know me well already.”  
  
“No,” Levi disagrees. “I don’t know you that well at all. But we’re working on that.”

Erwin nods, idly scratching his chin as he tries to figure out how to proceed. Gauging Levi’s thoughts on first date - first _family_ date - protocol is proving trickier than usual. Will Levi push him away because Eren is in his arms? No PDA in front of the children, albeit sleeping children?

“Smith, this kid weighs a shit ton, so if you’re gonna kiss me, get on with it.”

Without further procrastination, Erwin leans down to receive the kiss Levi offers him. It’s quick but galvanizing, like a zap of static electricity. As he rights himself, Erwin lightly touches the auricle piercing at Levi’s right ear.

“Goodnight.”

“Night.”

* * *

“Where is he taking you?” Farlan asks Tuesday morning at work when Levi confirms he does indeed have a second date with Erwin later that evening.

“He said it’s a surprise,” Levi shares with a raise of his eyebrow, keeping his gaze on the paperwork in his hands.  
  
“Huh,” Farlan knits a brow as he wipes his oily hands on a rag. “I can’t tell if that’s romantic or kind of controlling.”  
  
Levi pauses in filling out an invoice to look up from the clipboard and ponder Farlan’s assessment. “Kind of charming. Controlling if he orders for me and cuts my food.”  
  
“Yeah, that’s an early night,” Farlan chuckles. “Sorry again for not coming up to say hello at Isabel’s bout; I wasn’t sure what the bro code is here. You dating is new territory for us.”  
  
“Well, you were too busy being verbally belligerent to the away team to mind us, but don’t worry, I’ll introduce you and Isabel properly some other time.”

“Hey! Go easy on me. I have to be that obnoxious sports mom _and_ dad for Isabel.”

Levi rolls his eyes as he aggressively signs his name at the end of the invoice and tears the top copy from the duplicates below it. He goes to file it away in the office when Farlan calls after him.

“Do you need to knock off a little early?”  
  
“No. Why?”

“Get all dolled up for your big date," Farlan elaborates with a wink.  
  
“I think I’ll be okay, jackass.”   
  
“At least you’ll find out more about Smith.”  
  
“Yeah, about that,” Levi scratches the top of his head thoughtfully as his mouth twists. “I’m having a difficult time with small talk.”

“How so?”  
  
“I think up a hundred questions when I’m never around him, but as soon as we’re together,” he waves his hand along the side of his head. “It’s all gone.”   
  
“Get one step ahead of the jitters, dude, and write that shit down.”

Levi shoots his friend a dubious look. “Prepared questions?”  
  
“Hell yes,” Farlan emphasizes. “What scenario do you want to play out: looking like a bit of a dork but a dork that gives a shit about the person he’s trying to get to know with some prepared notes, or sitting across from him in stoney silence, letting him shoulder the bulk of the conversation and lookin’ like you don’t give two shits about him?”  
  
Levi does not question Farlan’s suggestion any further.

* * *

“I hope wherever we’re going has real food and none of this shared small plates crap, or sushi, or vegan, or whatever, ‘cause I’m starving.”

“And a good evening to you, too,” Erwin greets, completely unfazed by Levi’s brusque manner. The shorter man grunts as he bends down to lace up his boots. “How was your day?”

“Alright,” Levi mumbles, hunger gnawing at his stomach, temporarily shielding him from manners. He rallies himself quickly as he stands up, grabs his jacket and exits with Erwin towards the car. As soon as they’re inside, Levi sighs and tries again at conversation. “This is our busiest season. Well, one of them. We get slammed with work from mid-October through Christmas because of the Rose Parade.”  
  
“What kind of cars are typically in your garage this time of year?”  
  
“Rolls Royce, of course, speedsters, raceabout’s, lots of Packard runabout’s since they’re kinda big in this area for collectors, a handful of Phaeton’s, one or two roadsters, and of course some touring cars.”  
  
“Of course.”  
  
Levi glares at the man next to him. “You have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?”  
  
“No, but I'd warrant they’re very pretty!”

Levi crosses his arms over his chest and shakes his head. “Unbelievable.”

Erwin barks with laughter, delighted by Levi’s put-upon exasperation.

“So, what other time of the year is a busy season?”  
  
“Early summer in preparation for the fourth of the July. Lots of vintage and classic car shows and parades around that time.”  
  
“You must have an extensive list of loyal customers.”  
  
Levi shrugs modestly as he peers out the car window. “We have our regulars.”

“Isn’t there an automotive museum in L.A.?” Erwin asks. “Would it be worth taking the boys to?”  
  
“Yeah, the Peterson museum. It’s my favorite spot. I just don’t get out that way often.”

“Is it far?”  
  
“Far...is relative....” Levi drifts off as he notices Erwin merging onto the freeway. He bites his tongue, trying to resist the urge to grouch and potentially sour their first grown-up date. He quickly changes the topic. “So, uh, how was your day?”

“Good. Lots of meetings.”

“I thought your company was halfway ‘round the world or something; where do you go for meetings?”  
  
“They’re online, mostly through Skype and Google Hangouts.”  
  
“A video chat?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Sounds scandalous.”

“Like I’m a camera model, teasing my johns to pay more to see more?”  
  
“You know an awful lot about this camera modeling business, Smith. Is this where the real money comes from?”  
  
“Gotta feed the kid somehow, right?”

Levi’s mood is instantly lighter; his body relaxes and his breathing becomes more natural. He sneaks a glance at the other man, the tiniest of smiles playing on his face.

_This is why I like him._

“So, what were these meetings about?”  
  
“Two were with company headquarters, Seattle and the other in Ireland. The third was with my design team in Denmark. We’re developing our own line of personal audio accessories that will be fully integrated with a scaled down version of Freedom Soundware.”  
  
“Soundware?” Levi repeats. “I thought you made, like Windows but...not Windows?”  
  
“Yes...By accident. I didn’t actually mean to develop software; I was just this hardcore audiophile who had lofty dreams of revolutionizing audio technology. Problem was, none of the software of the time supported what I was accomplishing, so I sort of, uhm, developed my own. Who knew people would like it!”

“So, what you’re telling me is...you _accidentally_ revolutionized technology, created a fortune 500 company and started earning more money than God?”  
  
Erwin makes a high-pitch noise out of guilty humility, shrugging for good measure. Levi merely shakes his head. They quickly come to a halt in a long line of aggravating traffic. After a few minutes of gridlock, Erwin knits his brows and cranes his neck in a vain attempt at sussing out the issue behind the delay.

“Do you think there’s an accident?”  
  
“No,” Levi replies. “This is normal for this hour.”  
  
“How can this be normal?”  
  
“It’s rush hour, Smith.”  
  
“I thought it would be heading east, not west.”  
  
“There’s still a substantial amount of west to go; people in the west don’t just work in the west. They work all over L.A.”  
  
“I know," Erwin grouses.

“How far is this place?” Levi asks, squinting at the GPS system.  
  
“The map said it was just 16 miles from your place. We’ve already gone most of it; there’s only a little over five miles to go!”

Levi rubs the bridge of his nose as he blinks hard several times, trying to subdue his rising irritability. “Minutes, Smith. We measure distance in minutes.”

“How...is that even mathematically logical?”

  
“It isn’t logical anywhere else on the fucking planet, Smith. This is the price we all pay for three hundred days of sunshine.”

  
“This is ludicrous,” Erwin huffs under his breath. Levi’s stomach growls, an audible reminder of the dinner so far out of reach.

“Welcome to L.A., Smith.”

A thick layer of tension settles between them as the car inches along in agonizing rush hour gridlock. Erwin’s cheeks burn with embarrassment while Levi bites his tongue as scathing remark after scathing remark cross his mind.

* * *

“What’s this?” Eren asks as Sasha sets down a ramekin of mystery food underneath a roof of lightly browned mashed potatoes.. He considers himself a fairly knowledgable child with food, but the mashed potato house set before him is new and bewildering.

“Shepherd’s pie,” Sasha explains. “Ducks asked for British food for you to try.”

“Sasha makes the best shepherd’s pie,” Armin proudly declares as he twirls his fork, politely waiting for the other boy to tuck in.

“It’s me nan’s recipe,” Sasha adds as she brings a side dish of herbed rolls to the table before sitting down at her usual seat.

Tentatively, Eren takes a bite and smiles. “This is good!”

“Cheers,” Sasha beams. “You two finish all your homework?”  
  
“Yes,” The boys answer in unison. They made a habit of completing their homework at Community Care. It gives them more time to play in the long run.

“Did you make one for Poppa, Sasha?” Armin asks his nanny.  
  
“Yeah, it’s all ready and labeled for him to pop in the oven tomorrow for lunch.”

“I wonder where our dads went,” Eren muses between bites.

“Hmm,” Armin tilts his head thoughtfully. Sasha feels her heart quicken a beat.

“Maybe there was a parent meeting at school tonight,” Eren suggests. “Emerson has lots of those.”  
  
“Poppa went out with his friends sometimes when we lived...everywhere else.” Armin shrugs. “Maybe your dad and mine are friends like we are.”

“Oh, that’s good, that is,” Sasha mumbles under her breath.

“Pardon?” Armin inquires.

“Bang on, ducks, now eat your dinner and you two can watch some telly afterwards.”  
  
“Alright.”  
  
Sasha turns away, pretending to wipe her mouth with her napkin when she is in actuality, wiping the sweat from her brow.

* * *

“I am not above cannibalism, Smith,” Levi warns his date as horns blare around them and patience wears thin across all four lanes of bumper to bumper vehicles.

Erwin makes a noise of distress as he watches the digital clock in his dashboard tick away another minute. Their reservations are as good as gone.

“The jig is up, so better tell me where this dinner is so we might stand a chance to get there if I know a back way.”  
  
“It’s in Los Feliz.”

“Are you shitting me?” Levi laughs humorlessly, shaking his head. “Well, first off, we should have diverted onto the five freeway about a mile back. I don’t know why your GPS told you to go this way, but, hey! Exit here!”

“What?” Erwin asks even as he automatically adheres to Levi’s command. “Here?”  
  
“Yes. Get over, just cut ‘em off,” Levi whips his head around as a horn blares behind them. “Oh, fuck you, too! You’re just pissed you didn’t think to get out of this highway from hell first. Don’t worry about them, Smith, they’ll be happy once there is one less car in the line.” True enough, most cars inched as close or back as they could to allow for Erwin to squeeze his red Prius through and exit up a narrow, hilly street.

“OK, now where?”  
  
“Just, uh, follow.”

“Follow what?”

“Go up.”  
  
“Up?”

“Yeah. Up. And away.”

Levi peers out the window, keeping an eye out for a familiar street.

“Where are we?” Erwin asks, trying not to keep the concern out of his voice as his eyes fall on dark, narrow streets piled close with houses and apartments that have seen better days.

“Echo Park,” Levi answers, scanning the predominantly residential neighborhoods for some indication of food nearby. A taco truck, anything… At last, Levi spies a well-lit and boisterous structure cater-corner to them. Rolling down the window, his nostrils are filled with the aroma of grilling meat. “Quick, look for somewhere to park.”  
  
“What, where? Here?”

“Yeah, anywhere. Look, between that hunk of junk and the truck!” Levi points down the perilous steep hill opposite of the eatery. “See it?”

Whimpering under his breath as he submits to blind obedience, Erwin does as he is bid, parallel parking like a champ. They exit the car, Levi ahead by three steps despite his considerably shorter stride. A sign above the door welcomes them to The Park’s Finest. As far as Levi’s grumbling stomach is concerned, it may very well be the finest meal he will eat. The building itself isn’t much to look at; a modestly ugly relic from the early 70s with a subtle sag from the hilltop street corner it sits on, the sounds of the freeway echoing around them. It’s only the smell and sound of barbecue on an adjacent patio that fuels the two men to step inside. They do a double-take; the place is jumping with life and bright orange walls with long picnic table seating. 

“For two?” A young woman asks.

“Yeah.”

She sits them at the far end of one of the longest picnic tables; they are only one seat over from a rather large group of friends.

“Do you have any two tops?”

“No, I am afraid it’s all family style here!”

“Whatever, just pretend we’re alone,” Levi says, taking a seat. Erwin takes out his phone and holds it out for Levi to observe.

“I’m going to cancel our reservations, I’ll be right back.”

“I might order without you.”

“Feel free; I’ll eat anything.”

When Erwin returns less than five minutes later, Levi has a beer in hand and small plate of sausages in front of him. Erwin looks at him quizzically.

“Our neighbors saw I was about to chew my arm off and gave us a snack to tide us over. Longanisa?”

“I’m sorry about the traffic.”

“I’m sorry for being impatient,” Levi says with a shrug. He then brightens. “Oh! I came prepared this time.” He removes a small stack of notecards from the breast pocket of his leather jacket, now hanging on the back of his chair. Erwin is a little more than disappointed to see Levi wearing a long sleeve shirt as he cannot see the tattoos he caught a glimpse of last month. “Questions.”

“Those look like some serious questions,” Erwin jests as he glances at the beer menu and orders a Belgian style wit from a local brewery. “Are they quid pro quo?”  
  
“Yes, Hannibal Lector, you can ask me the same questions.” Levi theatrically racks the cards against the table before a waitress returns with Erwin’s beer and prepares to take their order. After ordering enough food to feed their families for the rest of the week, Levi spreads the cards in his hand, face down and nods for Erwin to pick one. Doing a poor job of hiding back his giggles, Erwin points to a card somewhere in the middle of the small stack. Levi separates it from the others, flips it over and reads the prepared question.

“What do your parents do? Or, what did they do?”  
  
“They were both teachers,” Erwin replies. “My father passed on when I was twelve, though, so it’s just mom and extended family now. She was retired for a while, but hated every single minute, so she teaches sociology part-time at the community college now.”

“Likes to keep busy, eh?”

“Being idle does not sit well with the Smith family.” He stabs a piece of the shared hot link and eats it before raising his eyebrows at Levi expectantly.

“Right.” Levi clears his throat and shifts in his seat. “Dead and unknown.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay.” Levi waves off Erwin's apology.  
  
“Do you want to talk about it?”  
  
“Not yet,” Levi replies, a little too quickly, so he recovers with a small smile and, “Another day.” He brushes a stray strand of black hair out of his eyes before answering the question from the card. “So, when she was alive, my mom was a housekeeper at a motor inn we lived at.” He opens his previously folded fingers in a placating gesture. “I suppose my own anal-retentive cleaning habits formed there.”

“I was unaware you possess anal-retentive cleaning habits.”  
  
“Yeah. My line of work and Eren, my little dirt magnet, are in direct opposition of them, but,” Levi ends the sentence with a shrug.

“Next question?” Erwin prompts, poising his finger above the rest of the pile. He finds the cards endearing, and is touched by the thought Levi has put into them, even with the knowledge that he himself would be answering questions out of his comfort zone. Levi nods and picks up the next card.

“When did you last do…” Levi made a hurried gesture indicating the both of them. “This?”

“Like, a serious, actual relationship?” Erwin asks, earning a nod of clarification from Levi. “It officially ended six years ago. We’d been together for about five or so years.”

“Five years?” Levi repeats with awe and bafflement. He can hardly imagine such a lengthily relationship for himself. “What happened?”

“Our priorities shifted away from one another,” Erwin answers diplomatically. Levi is hearing none of it.

“Speak English, Smith.”  
  
“He resented the fact that Armin and my job came before him.”  
  
“But he knew you had a kid from the get go, right?”  
  
“Kind of. I was just getting the surrogacy started when Mike came into my life. But Armin is definitely part of my standard introductions. 'Hello, I’m Erwin Smith. Computer geek. Libra. Single father of the world’s cutest boy.”'

“Then it’s his own damn fault for assuming a child wouldn’t be a priority.”  
  
Erwin sighs, resting his chin on his hand as he confesses with those sad, puppy eyes, “I'm sure I'm simplifying things, but I’ve found that people will be enthusiastic in the beginning. Perhaps they convince themselves they will get behind the idea, or they don’t think me having a child will impact our relationship enough to warrant concern. It’s been a rude wake-up call for people. Since that relationship, though, I have learned to screen early and thoroughly.”  
  
“Sounds like it’s been like quite the mission impossible.”  
  
“Well,” Erwin grins, the corners of his eyes now crinkling. “Not totally impossible.”  
  
“You’re a real sap, you know that, Smith?” Levi murmurs as he quickly takes a long gulp of his beer to hide the his reddening cheeks.  
  
“Mmhmm.”

* * *

The following weekend Armin finds his father up bright and early, making breakfast that does not smell entirely burnt or mysterious.

“Hey, sleepy ducks,” Erwin greets as Armin slides into a chair at the breakfast table, bleary-eyed and not yet fully awake. “Want some bacon and eggs? Even have hashbrowns.”  
  
“Is it real bacon,” Armin grumbles. “Or that American stuff?”  
  
“Hey, now, no knocking the ways of my people. The Brits have long since made peace with the rebels, and you can make your peace with streaky bacon.”

Armin merely groans in response, foregoing the desire to remind his Poppa that he is most certainly not British; simply preferring not to think so early on a Saturday.

Erwin scrapes the slightly overcooked bacon and eggs onto a plate before setting the pan aside and fetching the toast.

“So, I was thinking today we can take the light rail into downtown and go explore Chinatown or Little Tokyo. Check out a museum or just wander around and take in the sights. Get lunch. Dim sum, maybe. Or sushi!” Erwin sets down Armin’s plate before his son. “How does that sound?”  
  
“Alright,” Armin agrees, automatically getting up to retrieve the HP sauce from the fridge. He grabs ketchup for good measure, carrying a bottle in each hand.

“Great! I’ll call Levi and see what time he and Eren want to meet us at the train station.”  
  
“They’re coming, too?” Armin asks, cocking his head quizzically.

“Yup.” Erwin detects a note of displeasure in Armin’s voice, and he looks up from his cell phone. “Is that okay, ducks?”  
  
Armin feels a hot wave of guilt wash over him; why wouldn’t he want to see his best friend? He quickly squelches the selfishness as he returns to his seat.

“Yes, of course.” He squeezes a swirl of ketchup and a larger swirl of HP sauce on his toast before scooping up the eggs onto the toast and topping it with the bacon. Erwin observes as his son folds the piece of sourdough and take a hefty bite out of his DIY breakfast bap.

“Who taught you that, Armin?”  
  
“Sasha’s father,” Armin answers around his food, too hungry for politeness. He shoots his father a pointed side glance. “But he had _real_ bacon.”

Erwin rolls his eyes.

* * *

“You’re gonna spoil my kid rotten, Smith,” Levi warns as Erwin drops another box of Hello Kitty candy into the shopping cart. He shrugs at Levi’s comment.

“We’ll keep them at my house, then, for a special movie night.”  
  
“You’re just going to eat them all by yourself!” Eren teases with carefree laughter as they go to the checkout stand. Their day in downtown Los Angeles is nearly at an end; stopping off at a Japanese grocery store to pick up provisions demanded by Armin and Sasha both was last on the list of things to do. Levi merely tolerates the errand, ready to head home and kick his feet up, but Eren is still full of pep, dazzled by all of the familiar-ish food.

“He’s used to Chinese markets,” Levi explains as he watches the boys inspect the boxes that seem to boast candy as well as a toy. While Armin focuses on the mecca, Eren pointedly hones in on the boxes with girls in bright colors, with images of fairies, magical girls, makeup, jewelry and all things “girly” on it.

“You kids pick out a box?”  
  
“Really?!” Eren squeals, jumping up and down. Levi shoots Erwin a glare but says nothing; Eren’s joy has paralyzed his forked tongue. Besides, it’s a small treasure.

“Sure, grab whichever you like.”  
  
Armin turns away and shrugs. “I’m okay, Poppa.”

Eren, box in hand, suddenly freezes, unsure of the next course of action.  
  
“Put it back, Eren,” Levi tells his son firmly.

“No, no, it’s alright. Armin is merely more into LEGO these days, that’s all.”  
  
“They don’t carry the series I’m looking for,” Armin adds for good measure. “Maybe the bookstore upstairs does.”

Eren, still frozen to the spot, looking nervously from his father to Erwin.

“Whatever,” Levi mutters, turning away. Their day has been too nice to deal with a fussy Eren.

“Get this one, Eren,” Armin advises, plucking down another box. “It has a bracelet, ring or compact.”

“Okay!” Eren abandons the box he had chosen in favor for Armin’s choice.  
  
“Come on, Princess Eren,” Levi says as he slips on his shades and holds out his hand. “Let’s take Armin to the bookstore upstairs.”  
  
“You sure?” Erwin asks even as Armin smiles in delight.  
  
“Yeah. We’ll meet you up there.”

Eren deposits his treat in the shopping cart before taking his father’s hand. As they pass, Erwin gently brushes against Levi’s free hand, making brief eye contact with the man’s turquoise lined eyes peering at him above the rim of drooping sunglasses. Levi has a split second to raise his index finger, acknowledging the gesture in a fleeting caress before he tosses his head back to get his sunglasses to fall properly back into place.

When Erwin joins them upstairs at the bookstore, Eren is in tissy.

“He’s here! Can we go now?”  
  
“What’s this?”

“The boys found a photo booth in the corridor and want to take photos.”  
  
“Oh. Isn’t there anything you want in the bookstore, Armin?”  
  
Armin holds up a sweet cafe theme Re-ment blind box in answer.

“No books?”  
  
“No time,” Armin answers simply.

“He refused to let me pay,” Levi huffs, folding his arms over his chest. Armin smiles slyly.

“How did you pay, ducks?”  
  
“My allowance,” Armin explains.

“Must’ve cost you all of your allowance, considering the upsell of that,” Erwin observes as he notes the inflated price tag.

“That’s alright,” Armin says. “I want to add food and other little things to Neverland.”  
  
“What?” Levi asks, bafflement all over his face as he is clueless how Peter Pan's realm has to do with the present conversation.

“Let’s gooooooo!” Eren demands, grabbing Levi by one hand and Armin by the other, marching them towards the photobooth.

Twenty-four dollars and six rounds of Japanese photo sticker decorating later, everyone admires a sheet or two of glossy photos as the souvenir for the day.

“That thing is stupidly addictive,” Levi jokingly complains as he waits for the last sheet to fully develop. The boys had shoved Erwin and he into the booth and before the fathers realized that the boys had no intention of joining them for a third round of group photos, the cutesy Japanese girl on the screen was counting them down. _And Erwin, that scoundrel, kissed me!_ Levi boggles for the hundredth time since Erwin pulled him into an embrace and laid one on him. It was the kind of kiss that made Levi’s legs feel like wobbly Jello, a feeling he did not previously believe a thirty-two year old man had the capacity to feel. He grabbed the photo sheets before the boys were able to, thank goodness. They remained too occupied with their own photos to care. As they walk back to the light rail stop, Levi shoots the occasional incredulous glare at Erwin. Naturally, Smith merely returns Levi’s grousing with that indelible sunshine smile Levi is growing ever so fond of.

* * *

Can you pick up Eren on Thursday?"

"Yeah, sure," Farlan agrees absently.

"And take him to karate."

"I guess so."

"And feed him dinner."

Farlan finally looks up from the computer, deadpan in expression.

"You want me to just take him home, move his shit in my apartment, have him start calling me daddy?"

"No, asshole. I asked Erwin over for dinner."

"Ohhhhhh! Fuck, why didn't you start with that, dude? You want some ass so you need the little cock blocker outta the house. No problem! You sure you don't want me to have him crash at mine?"

"Thanks, but I'm not asking because I need a fuck pad. We've been all over creation these last few weeks and I just want to be low-key in the comfort of my own home."

"Ugh, then why bother?

"Come on, Farlan."

Farlan holds up his palm in protest. "Hey, hey, I'm not just saying this to be cute! Sexual compatibility is a big test and it's better to get it on early and find out if you, uh, jive in that area. I'm not making this shit up, dude, it's chemistry. Or biology. Or one of those subjects I failed. Just look it up!”

"Thursday is _not_ about fucking,” Levi insists, his eyes narrowing dangerously. “He's going to come over, I am going to cook him a nice dinner, we'll probably have one drink each, have some nice conversation, look at baby pictures and say goodnight."

"That is the most unsexy thing I ever heard in my whole life; how you gonna get laid when you're sitting side by side looking at baby pictures?" He shakes his head as he friend merely stares him down wordlessly. "Speaking of Thursday, next Thursday is Thanksgiving."

"Yeah, so?"

"So, why not invite Mr. Blonde to dinner? I hear tell the hot nanny makes some tasty munchies."

"Truth be told, I haven't even thought about it."

"Bullshit!" Farlan decries with an accusatory finger point.

"Okay, I have _entertained_ the idea of asking them to dinner, but I haven't asked. This Thursday night would give me that opportunity, though."

"I guess it would," Farlan huffs with an eye roll. Levi pats him on the shoulder before scuttling out of their office before Farlan can change his mind.

"Thanks, pal, I owe you."

"You owe me a good fuck story," Farlan grumbles under his breath.

* * *

"You're not one of those pasta haters, right?"

Erwin chuckles from the hallway where he is studying each photograph on the walls, of which there are dozens proudly framed and displayed all over the bungalow house.

"No," Erwin reassures his date.

"Good," Levi nods approvingly.

Erwin recognizes Levi in his element in the comfort of his own home, his quiet warmth feeding into the overall quaintness of their at-home dinner date. Levi is wearing a three-quarter sleeve black-on-grey jersey, and Erwin finds it difficult to not focus on the black curl that swoops around Levi’s elbow. One of the elaborate tattoo’s Erwin got a peep of last month.

"Is this Eren's first day of school?" Erwin inquires, forcing his attention away from the curious curl.

"The one of him screaming his head off and lunging out of a woman's arms?"

"Yup."

"That was his first day of kindergarten and first day at Emerson. He tried to hurtle himself into my arms, but I was too busy snapping that photo and reassuring him we’d laugh about it one day."

"I like that you capture the heart breaking moments in addition to the milestones and sweet moments."

"One hundred shades of Eren."

"He never does anything half-heartedly, does he?"

"Nope. My little monster's all in or nothing."

Erwin softly laughs at a photo of Eren wearing his daddy's too big helmet and sunglasses as he sits at the driver position of Levi's motorcycle, his little legs too short to reach the pedals. Save for the occasional photo of the family friends Levi talks of, nine out of ten photos feature the only child. All of the photos had their own hand-written label taped to the frame: “Princess Eren” (Eren in a princess dress-up); “Eren & Scoots” (Eren and a black cat cuddling); “Eren’s best friend” (Eren and Armin posing on the tire swing out back).

"I'm adoring this picture of Eren crying as you proudly hold up a trout. Was he seasick?"

"No, he felt bad for the fish and made me throw it back."

Erwin throws back his head and howls with laughter. "Armin did the same! That's why I'm partial to this photo; it reminds me of the first time I took Armin fishing."

"You know how to fish, Smith?"

"Shocking, isn’t it? Aside from reading, it was the only activity my dad had the time for that I took a mutual interest in. We would go camping as a family in the Olympics twice a year, but dad and I would go crabbing together for Labor Day Cookouts and fishing as soon as school let out for both of us. Oysters in the winter. My mom would make this killer oyster dressing for Thanksgiving."

"Speaking of Thanksgiving," Levi begins as he plates up their dinner of salad, rotisserie chicken and a side of penne in pesto. "What are your plans next week? The boys have the whole week off, and I usually have Eren at Holiday Care, but I was unsure if you want to plan anything?"

"Oh. We didn't have this conversation?"

"No..." Levi pauses in his work to peer over his shoulder as Erwin leans in the doorway between the kitchen and hall, arms crossed worriedly over his chest.

"Well, shit. Armin, Sasha and I take off for Seattle tomorrow night."

"Oh."

"My mother doesn't fly. Ever, at all. In all of the places I have ever resided, she has adamantly refused to visit me, not even for Armin, not even on my dime, no matter how luxurious a trip I offer. Her phobia is that bad. Probably why I love to travel so much. Anyway, we can only see mom on her turf so to speak, so we're spending Thanksgiving with her since Sasha and Armin have never experienced our most gluttonous holiday. We don't return until next Friday evening."

"I should have assumed you would spend the vacation with your mom, of course," Levi shakes his head, trying not to appear as dumb as he feels, forgetting that most people go out of town for holidays.

"I should have said something. It's been booked for so long, if Ilse didn't remind me on Monday, I probably would have spaced out and," Erwin slides up to Levi and slips his arms around the shorter man. "Made plans with you."

"That's very endearing, Smith," Levi says as he raises on his toes and kisses the blonde on the nose. "It's not the end of the world. Go sit down, dinner is ready."

"You should have let me help you do more than spin dry the salad," Erwin complains as he takes his seat at the chrome accented Formica kitchen table.

"I am well aware of your shortcomings in the kitchen, Smith," Levi scoffs as he sets down their plates. He inspects the bottle of white wine Erwin brought him as a gift to accompany their dinner before opening it and pouring it in the smallest glasses he owns outside of shot-glasses.

"Sorry, I don't have wine glasses."

"Not a problem."

After a comfortable silence passes between them, Erwin circles back to the holidays.

"What do you do for Thanksgiving?"

"It's a family day for us four; Farlan, Isabel, Eren and me. We sometimes go see a movie and go out if we are feeling lazy, or we make dinner together. If the weather isn't sucking, we BBQ."

"Well... Since Armin and I get back Friday night, we do have the weekend free. I wouldn't recommend big plans, but a post-thanksgiving family dinner would be nice. If you're alright with the idea."

"Sure. Actually." Levi chews thoughtfully as he works it out in his brain. "I will ask Farlan and Isabel if they can join us. So they can get off my back finally about meeting you."

Erwin smiles at the idea and they return to their dinner in complacent silence.

"You took a baby up the Alps? The hell is wrong with you, Smith?"

Levi shakes his head and glares at the other man before leaving the couch to retrieve their after dinner tea, steeping in the kitchen.

"Oh, he's fine," Erwin rolls his eyes as he turns the page in the baby album he brought over, as specially request by Levi. They had swapped albums and now Erwin sits with both albums as he waits for Levi to return. "We were on a Team Building Retreat and how could I leave my little boy? Look how happy he is in that kangaroo papoose thing." Erwin takes hold of the mug extended to him and notes with amusement the mug Levi is holding.

“Isn’t that Hello Kitty’s friend?”  
  
“Badtz Maru, yeah,” Levi acknowledges without a trace of embarrassment. “Eren could live in the Hello Kitty store at the mall and one time before I could get him out fast enough, he saw this angry cartoon penguin. Said he looked like me.”  
  
Erwin nearly chokes on a mouthful of peppermint tea, his laughter turning into a cough.  
  
“Laugh it up, chuckles,” Levi sasses. “I hated the comparison at first, but come father’s day last year, Eren gave me this mug. Turns out he’d saved his allowance, a whopping dollar a week, to buy this for me. He must’ve saved for a good eight to ten weeks.” Levi shakes his head, the phenomenon still boggling him. “I guess this grouchy-ass penguin is my fucking Patronus or something.”

“That and black cats,” Erwin observes, giving Scuttles a little scritch on his head as the black cat is curled up on the back of the couch behind them. Levi grins before shifting his attention to the latest page in the Smith photo album he replaced on lap.

"Is this his grandma?" Levi asks, pointing with his free hand to a kindergarten age Armin sitting in the lap of a kindly comfortable looking elderly woman in a overly decorated living room.

"No, that's Sasha's gran. Sasha would take him up every weekend to Birmingham for Sunday lunch. Her family absolutely adores Armin, though her grandpa was a bit spotty on the memory... Thought Armin belonged to Sasha, biologically speaking."

"That's kinda sweet."

"Your photos are so fantastic," Erwin praises, peering through Levi's album. "Do you have one of Eren's first step?"

"No. Well. Kind of." Levi shakes his hair back irritably. "I got it on video, but that along with a fuck ton other videos and photos are stuck on these ancient cell phones. They're totally dead and shit, but I can't let them go, you know?"

Erwin nods sympathetically. "I have problems throwing out Armin's artwork. Probably because he isn't big on drawing so I can be a bit of a clutterbug about it."

"Fuck me, I can't. Eren loves to draw and scribble and make things out of the most random shit. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I let him decide what goes and what stays. Clutter drives me batty."

"I spied a few choice pieces from the Eren J. Ackerman collection around the house, though."

"Yeah, the favorites get framed and hung up."

Emboldened by the good vibe they have going between them, Levi hands Erwin the album to take hold of as he sets his mug down on the coffee table, stands up and briefly excuses himself from the room. He returns shortly with a very thin, cheap softcover photo album. Levi flips open to the first page, to a photo of a striking woman with long raven locks.

“Your mother,” Erwin says, an observation more than a question. Her eyes are much rounder and larger than Levi’s, heavy with provocative, haunting emotion.

Levi sits on the literal edge of his seat, his hands clamped flat between his knees as he stares distantly at the little album.

“What was she like?” Erwin gently inquires, laying a comforting hand at the small of Levi’s back. It feels reassuring and supportive, lending the strength for Levi to continue.  
  
“Sweet, but you wouldn’t want to piss her off. I’d seen her get mad a handful of times and she was ferocious. Mostly she was playful. I didn’t have a lot of toys, and because we lived at the motel in a touristy pitstop area, I didn’t have many lasting friends. So I was always with her when I wasn’t in school, helping her clean. She’d make a game of it and sing along to all of her favorite showtunes and power ballads.” A smile tugged at the corners of Levi’s mouth. “She loved cartoons and cereal, so her favorite thing to do on her mornings off was to cuddle up in bed, eat a big bowl of cereal and watch cartoons with me.”  
  
Erwin rubs circles around Levi's back as he mimics the raven haired man’s smile. “Which cartoon and cereal were her favorites?”  
  
“The Real GhostBusters, Muppet Babies, and Pee-Wee, which isn’t a cartoon but still fun. She had a sweet-tooth, so sugary cereals ruled: Coco Puffs, Captain Crunch, Fruit Loops, Lucky Charms.” He bows his head, studying the photo before adding, “It’s funny how someone with a major, fatal actually, flaw can be so fucking wonderful in all other aspects of their personality.”

Erwin looks down at Levi in puzzlement. Levi fights the urge to cut and run or change the subject as he pushes himself further to explain. “She died of hepatitis, the kind from alcohol.”

“I see.”  
  
“But you’d really never know it, at least from a kid's perspective. She was super high-functioning, not like some belligerent alkie on an after school special. She didn’t throw tantrums or smack me around or any of that nonsense. She just..sorta...wasted away.”

“I’m sorry you had to lose her at such an early age, Levi.” Erwin says with genuine empathy. He is sorry; Levi may give off a certain inertia, but more and more, Erwin is realizing just how tender and vulnerable the other man can truly be.   
  
“Yeah, well,” Levi snaps the photo album shut and returns it to his bedroom, leaving his sentence dangling like an ambiguous ending to a crappy indie film. He pauses before retreating, reflecting on what he had shared. He never talks about his mother, ever, but something told him to just go for it. Levi is unsure as of yet if it was a particularly smart move. He steps into the hall, giving a start to see Erwin approaching, concern in his baby blue eyes.

“Did I totally kill the mood?” Levi asks with a wry brow and apologetic smirk. With that ever confident smile, Erwin shakes his head and closes the distance between them.

"Not in the least."

They gaze into one another's eyes, the heat of their proximity becoming increasingly palpable. All hesitation washes away as Levi slides his arms around Erwin’s neck, and Erwin wraps his own around Levi’s waist. The shirt cannot disguise Levi's physique; he is a brick of muscle and skin, and Erwin burns to familiarize himself with it. Levi can feel the current of attraction rippling between them; there is no voice whispering second thoughts in the back of his head, no Farlan egging him on. Merely himself, Erwin and more chemistry than a meth lab. They move as one, locking lips in a kiss more masterful than all previous kisses. Levi's hands scratch down the back of Erwin's shirt, his finger interlacing at the small of Erwin's back. They remain locked in the embracing kiss until Levi finally gives an insistent tug on Erwin’s belt loops. Just as the men simultaneously take a step towards Levi’s bedroom, the doorbell rings and the front door subsequently begins to open.

“Hello!” Farlan calls loudly into the house, keeping a tight hold on the front door, effectively blocking Eren from entering until he ensures everything is safe. “Anybody home? I didn’t see a sock on the doorknob, so I’m assuming it’s safe to go in!”

“Shit!” Levi hisses, pushing Erwin into his bedroom with the heels of his hands.

“I completely lost track of the time,” Erwin whispers, laughing nervously as he struggles to regain his breath.  
  
“What are you talking about, Uncle Farlan?” Eren’s voice echoes as he steps into the entryway to remove his shoes. “Why would a sock be on the doorknob?”  
  
“Yeah, why, uncle Farlan?” Levi asks as he marches out to the living room, beelining to the couch where he plucks up the Smith family photo book and hides it behind his back just as Eren runs over to him.

“Daddy, I was goofing around in class today and Mr. Hannes said I should just quit karate and learn gymnastics so I can join the circus. So, can I?”

“What?” Levi blinks down at his son, still out of breath from the rushed make-out session.

“I’ll tell you in a minute,” Farlan interrupts, waving off Eren’s sophomoric attempt to explain.

“Alright. Hey, little monster, why don’t you go to your room and get out of that stinky uniform. Put on your robe and I’ll draw you a bath before bedtime. Okay?”  
  
“Okay!” Eren skips down the hall to his room, completely unaware of Erwin hiding behind his father’s bedroom door.

“Gimme a second,” Levi whispers to his friend as he races back, grabs Erwin’s hand and pulls him to the front room where Farlan is already waiting with the blonde’s shoes in his hand. Erwin takes them gratefully before Levi nudges his head emphatically at Farlan.

“I’ll go draw Eren’s bath, then,” Farlan says, catching on quickly.

“You afraid to let Eren see me?” Erwin whispers as he bends down to put on his shoes.

“No, I just don’t want to answer questions.” Levi whispers back.  
  
“Maybe we ought to just come clean before there is a need for questions, hmmm?”  
  
“I hate it when you make sense,” Levi huffs. “When you get back from Seattle, okay? We’ll talk to the boys then.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Erwin says as he rights himself. Levi hands him the album, and Erwin closes his hands over the other man’s before bending down to kiss him again. “Thanks for dinner.”  
  
“No problem, Smith.”  
  
“Goodnight, Levi. Happy Thanksgiving.”

Levi's eyes sparkle wickedly as he replies, “Gobble, gobble, Smith.”

Levi closes the door behind the other father and leans against the frame with a hefty groan.

“I shoulda fucked him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a friendly reminder that if you're interested in the EXPLICIT version of this fanfic (with all of the forthcoming naughty scenes) all you have to do is visit the series page!


	9. Head over Heels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Something happens and I'm head over heels  
> I never find out till I'm head over heels  
> Something happens and I'm head over heels  
> Ah, don't take my heart, don't break my heart  
> Don't, don't, don't throw it away'
> 
> \- Tears for Fears (Head over Heels)

“We’re in the clear for the weekend, by the way.” Levi informs Erwin via phone the following Wednesday night. They have mostly texted throughout Erwin’s trip up to Seattle, but Levi finally demanded a different mode of communication - declaring he “can’t take another fucking smiley face” thereby forcing Erwin to ring him after both boys are tucked into bed.  
  
“Huh?” Erwin asks. “Oh, for dinner?”

“Yeah. I tried to get the Wonder Twins to postpone Thanksgiving dinner until you and Armin return, but they want to barbecue. So we’re taking you to our alternative Thanksgiving restaurant instead.”  
  
“Splendid! What is it?”

“Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles.”

“Roscoe’s what?”

“Chicken and waffles.”

“I. Uh. Okay.”

“It’s a Los Angeles institution. Trust me, you’ll love it. Or you won’t and it will totally break Eren’s heart.”

“What about your heart?” Erwin inquires, feeling every bit as cheesy as his words sound.

“Meh. More chicken and waffles for me.” Erwin chortles in appreciation of Levi’s pragmatic outlook. “So, when do you want to go?”

“Well, you tell me. I have a surprise for the boys on Saturday that’s at one o’clock in Burbank. We can go for dinner afterward, if you like.”

“What’s the surprise?” Levi asks, unable to keep the suspicious tone out of his voice. Erwin has already displayed an uninhibited generosity, and dark, horrible part of Levi fears he will become indebted. _Shut up, that isn't going to happen,_ Levi chastises the insecure voice.

“I have a friend at Disney holding a private friends and family screening of their new film. He gave me four tickets.”

“You’re spoiling my kid, Smith. There will be no living with Princess Eren after this, you know.”

“I look forward to his fair and just reign.”

“Reign of terror, you mean.”  
  
“Uh-oh, sounds like someone had a bad day?”  
  
“Not especially, he was just pestering me again about Cirque du Soleil school.”

“I don’t follow.”

"Last week, Hannes-sensei suggested Eren move on from karate after he completes the end of year demo and take up gymnastics.”

“I take it you don’t agree with him?”

“I’m torn, honestly. Eren loves the idea, and truth be told, and his attention to karate has been waning. But I put him in karate to teach him discipline and structure as well as to channel his frustrations. He's the kind of kid who goes from zero to spastic rage and starts Hulking out on everyone. Karate has done him a world of improvement. So, on one hand, I want to let Eren follow his interests and not force him to do anything he doesn’t like. On the other hand, I feel this is part of the decision and he needs to stick to it because I don’t want him to think he can just quit whenever he’s discontent.”

“Why wouldn’t you want to teach him that, though?”  
  
“Excuse me?”

“Think about it. Most of the people who are miserable in their line of work, let’s say, would quit in a heartbeat if they had the chance to move on with virtually zero repercussions. Quitting doesn’t equate failure, it means you’re ready to move on and travel down another road.”

Levi makes a low, monotonous noise of dubiousness.

“Let me put in regional terms. You’re on the 110. It’s bumper to bumper traffic, no sign of relief in sight. Then, directly in the lane next to yours, there is an exit, totally free. You don’t know where it will take you per say, but you’re acquainted with the general area. So, do you leave that gridlock and chase a possibility, or do you stay out of familiarity?”

Levi sighs, understanding a bit more clearly why Erwin is the top dog of a Fortune 500 company.

“You might have a point there, Smith.” Levi takes a sharp breath before adding, “But not everyone has the luxury of a safety net when they take potentially life altering risks. Your luck has given you a pretty solid glass-half-full outlook on gambling like that.”

Erwin is quiet on the other end, fighting the urge to counter Levi’s point. His good sense ultimately wins out, though, acknowledging and respecting that the very good fortunate his risk taking led him to is the very good fortune that ultimately divides their paths.

“LIsten, I’m not saying that I haven’t taken enormous risks myself,” Levin continues, unable to bear the silence on the other end of the line. “But as the father of a kid who has been trying to jump head first into every new idea that comes into his darling little head, I have to teach Eren to act conservatively and understand consequences.”

“I understand,” Erwin replies softly.  
  
“Even if you disagree with me?” Levi prods gently.

“Meh,” Erwin says lightly even as he grins to himself. “Life would be boring if we saw eye to eye on everything.”

Padding down the hallway of Nonny's house to fetch a glass of water from the kitchen, Armin yawns, enjoying the the coziness of the home. His grandma's house is significantly smaller than any home he and his Poppa have lived in, which makes it less spooky and cavernous. Armin feels aggravated by his own frivolous fears of such common nemeses as the dark and non-existent monsters, but at least in Nonny's home, he does not fret. He does, however, have to be extra quiet, as he must tip-toe from one end of the house to the other to reach the kitchen.

A noise catches Armin's attention; a low, rumbling laugh he instantly recognizes belonging to his poppa. Too curious for manners, Armin creeps closer to the slightly ajar door of the office where Poppa seems to be having a conversation on the phone.

"At least weigh the pros and cons before you make your final decision. I'm not doling out free legal counsel, Levi, I'm advising you as your...Yeah, me, either. We'll figure it out."

Armin knows eavesdropping is wrong, and Armin has never felt that fact as poignantly as he does right now. There is something almost playful in the way his poppa is talking, but he cannot place why it sounds different than his normal lightheartedness.

"Hmm? Oh, shit, you're right. I didn't realize how late it got. OK. Well, tomorrow is a holiday. Yeah. Happy Thanksgiving." Poppa breaks out into poorly concealed snorts and chuckles. "Oh, god, that's wicked. Alright. You, too. Goodnight, Levi."

Deciding against kitchen water, Armin hurries to turn around and makes a beeline for the bathroom next to the room he is staying in - his poppa's old room. Safe as soon as he gently closes the door, Armin sits on the closed lid of the toilet and mulls over what he overheard.  
  
 _Why is Poppa talking to Eren's dad so late?_ Armin wonders. _We have been chumming around a lot lately. More than usual._

It seems Poppa has been the one to instigate these outings, too. For what purpose? To make sure Armin and Eren stay best friends? Armin does not foresee any sort of falling out that might make him stop being friends with Eren. Maybe to prepare them for this trip and being away? Though he feels wretchedly guilty for it, Armin is glad to have a slight break from his best friend. Having little experience with friends has only punctuated Armin's need to be alone from time to time. He is beginning to miss Eren, though, and school. _Does Poppa miss Levi? Why?_ Armin resolves to find out before finally returning to bed.

* * *

"I don't care what they're going to say," Eren sings under his breath on the car ride home from the studio screening of _Frozen_ , Disney's latest animated feature. Levi's fondness for his son's singing slightly outweighs the general irritation he feels towards the film as he glances back to smile encouragingly at his little boy.

"You have a pretty voice, Eren," Erwin compliments from the driver's seat.

"Thanks, Mr. Smith!"

"Oh, you can call me Erwin," Erwin advises with a quick look to Levi for reassurance. A subtle nod allows Erwin to release a brief but nonetheless tensely held breath. Eren pauses, seeming to need similar clearance.

"Is it okay, dad?"

"Yes, Eren."

At every stoplight or halt in traffic, Erwin's eyes dart over to the man sitting next to him. As sophomoric as he feels, Erwin cannot help be anything but invigorated by being in Levi's presence. He knows it’s the rose-tinted early phases of a relationship causing all of the high school butterflies and goofy grins, but Erwin relishes each trill of his pulse.

"Farlan just texted me," Levi informs them, seemingly unaware of Erwin's glances. "Said Roscoe's has an over two hour long wait and suggests pho instead."

"What's that?" Armin asks nervously even as Eren cheers.

"Vietnamese soup," Levi explains. "It's like their burger and fries or fish and chips. Everyone eats it, you know? It's standard."

"I think you'll like it, Armin," Erwin reassures his son. "I think you ate pho in Vietnam when we went on vacation. It has long slurpy noodles and you can adjust the spice and seasoning yourself."

"I was four," Armin grumbles with a pout. "I do not remember."

"They also have spring rolls, sandwiches and rice dishes," Levi informs Armin.

"Alright," Armin acquiesces, feeling more at ease with the sudden change of plans. From his position in the back seat, he witnesses his Poppa smile at Levi - who smiles back. Armin feels like he has peeped on something and turns to Eren, who seems blissfully unaware of the developing mystery between their fathers.

* * *

The extended honorary members of their respective families are already waiting at the bustling Pho79 and their party of seven is seated at a large round table. Unsurprisingly, Farlan and Sasha are quick friends with Isabel tacking on her two cents to keep up with the conversation. She is soon giving the full tour of her vivid and plentiful tattoos to an extremely impressed Sasha. Relative newcomers to Vietnamese food, Sasha and Armin are given a basic crash course with a thick menu chock-full of photos to go along with broken English descriptions. As Farlan situates himself between his two foodie pupils, Erwin snakes his hand over Levi's, casually giving it a squeeze.

Their feast is plentiful, filling their nostrils with mouth-watering aromas: ginger, chilies, beef, broth, cilantro, Hoisin sauce and onions.

"I'm kinda glad we ended up here," Isabel voicing what everyone is thinking. "Poultry after a poultry based holiday is overkill. Pho for the win!"  
Everyone grunts in unison, too occupied with slurping their noodles to give a more civilized reply.  
  
As Erwin raises his chopsticks to his big bowl of rare beef pho, he feels a persistent tugging at his sleeve. Eren’s adorable little face looks up at him, mouth partially open in readiness to speak, revealing his half-grown in tooth.

“Yes, Eren?”  
  
“Can you please pass me the cock sauce?”  
  
Farlan chokes on his Sapporo, the fizzy alcohol rushing up his nasal passage, causing him to clap a hand over his sinus airways as liquid leaks out of them. Isabel buries her face in the crook of her arm, pounding her fist on the table in overwhelming amusement. Sasha howls with laughter and Levi shakes with silent mirth, his smile poorly hidden behind his fist.

Blustering as his mind races to solve this issue, Erwin stammers and stumbles over his words as he digs for more information.

“E-excuse me?”

“He’s talking about sriracha,” Levi answers, coming to the rescue as he takes hold of the bright red bottle and holds it up. “There’s a rooster on the front, see? Cock sauce.” He hands the bottle to Eren, whose previous confusion as to why everyone started laughing melts into gratitude.

“Thank you, daddy!”

Levi eyes Erwin as he addresses his son. “No problem, kiddo.”

“I’m calling child services on all of you,” Erwin mutters, meeting Levi’s level gaze.

After dinner, the group insists on ice cream despite the chilly evening. At Fosselman's ice cream parlour, Erwin and Levi manage to stand slightly away from the rest of their family, who are gathered around a table talking intensely about the film Frozen.

"This was a success," Erwin says lowly with a slight nod towards the others.

"Mmmm," Levi quietly hums in agreement.

"When can we get together, though?"

Levi fails to hide his frown behind his peppermint bark ice cream on a cake cone. "I don't know. We're fucking slammed at work. It's always this way right before the Rose Parade on New Year's Day. There are so many goddamn orders, I don't know if we'll get them done in time. We've had to turn people away."

"Oh, wow," Erwin sighs under his breath, happy business is booming for his boyfriend but mourning their loss of personal time. "OK, that's understandable. Is there anything I can do to help?"

Levi opens his mouth to protest, but a reluctant lightbulb goes off in his mind.

"Well...if it isn't too much trouble, would you be able to take Eren back to your place some nights? Just for a couple hours, so I can pull some overtime? I know he can stay at Community Care until six, but I hate leaving him at school for so long only to drag him back to the garage like I usually do around this time of the year. I'd rather he go home, or a home-like environment."

"Done," Erwin promises with an easy going smile. "Just say when and I'll make sure Sasha knows she's grabbing Eren, too."

"Tell her I'm sorry, I'll pay her for the trouble,"

"No, you most certainly will not," Erwin scoffs. "Sasha is my employee, I will worry about it."

Levi eyes the other man but does not argue. "I'm in no position to insist."

"So don't."

"I am sorry we won't be seeing much of each other...one on one. It's just until the holidays are over."

Erwin grins wryly. "And then my work kicks in with a press junket."

"A what?"

"I have to go around and promote the latest project to generate public interest, so I will be on a press tour."

"Oh. When? For how long?"

"Uhhh...January. I know that much. I will have to double check the dates,"

"Ask Ilsa, right," Levi finishes. They stand in comfortable silence as they gaze at their families blending, teasing and joking with one another, discovering new facets of each other's personalities.

 _I can do this,_ Levi thinks to himself. _I_ **_am_ ** _doing this. It is really a thing, isn't it?_ He knows though that despite the overload of orders, he must do his best to scrape together some extra time to spend with Erwin. Their professional lives shall _not_ be given the opportunity to sabotage their relationship before it has even begun in earnest.

“Are you going back to Seattle for Christmas?” Levi asks with a whisper of shyness in his voice.

“No, we’re staying here," Erwin answers, finishing the last of his lemon custard ice cream. "Mom is going on a road trip with her gourmet garden club; they’re all widows now so they’re spending it together at a rented house in Vancouver.”

“That’s kinda cute.”  
  
“It is,” Erwin nods. “So, I put it to a family vote and it was a unanimous decision to stay put.” Erwin scratches behind his ear idly as he adds, “I think Sasha is gobsmacked with the idea of a warm and sunshiney Christmas.”

“It’s usually pretty sunny,” Levi concedes, unable to hide his grin of pleasure.

“Daddy!” Eren calls, waving his lychee sorbet on a sugar cone in the air. “I want to try your ice cream, come trade with me!”

“That’s my cue,” Levi sighs with false exasperation as he excuses himself to indulge Eren’s demand for multiple flavors.

* * *

“Levi needs to work some extra hours this time of the year, Armin, so we’re going to have Eren over after school on Tuesdays and Thursdays.”

“We are?” Armin grimaces despite himself.

“As you know, I’m going to be busier than usual with the finalization of our new product line, but I’ll try to be the one to pick you boys up on those two days.”

Armin sinks back into his seat, knowing his Poppa is only trying to be hospitable. Still…

“Poppa...I like to be alone after school sometimes. Like when I work on my LEGOS. How can I tell that to Eren without hurting his feelings?”

Erwin winces as he suddenly realizes his blunder. “Oh. I’m sorry, buddy. I should have consulted you in this, huh?”

“It’s alright.”

 _Walking the fine line of dad and benevolent dictator is never an easy course,_ Erwin mentally laments. Obviously, he is the parent and what he says goes, but sometimes the forgets Armin is his son and not an employee.

“Have you and Eren quarreled?”

“No. I just like being alone sometimes.”

As an only child, Erwin empathizes with his son’s basic need for daily peace and quiet. “You need to decompress after school, huh?”

“Yes.”

“Well,” Erwin’s award winning strategist brain kicks in. “I don’t think Eren has ever been unreasonable with you, so I believe if you are open and honest, he will understand.”

“I do not want to hurt his feelings.”

“I don’t think you will, especially if you redirect his attention.”

“Redirect?”

“Give him a few options to keep himself occupied while you decompress. He can help Sasha with dinner, or watch TV, or read on his own.”  
“I can try that,” Armin relents.

“Eren is pretty excitable, huh?”

Armin blushes, as if he has been caught speaking ill of the brunet boy.

“I like that he is excitable. He is still my best friend, of course.”

“Of course,” Erwin grins at his son before suddenly remembering, “Oh! I received an email reminder; your LEGO video game will be at Toys R Us next Tuesday.”

Armin’s woes are temporarily vanquished with the promise of the highly anticipated video game Poppa pre-ordered for him.

"Hooray!"

* * *

"Have you done the do with Baberham Lincoln yet?"

Clenching the socket wrench tightly in his hand, Levi shoots Farlan a warning glare despite his cheeks puffing up with poorly concealed laughter. Pain shoots through his face and throat as the laugh is choked on, before dissolving into a snicker. He steadies himself on the 1918 Cadillac Touring Car they are working on.

"No, Garth, I haven't had the time."

"Well, you ought to, 'cause he is one mighty piece of ass." Farlan leans over the driver's door to honk the horn emphatically. 

"Thanks for your astute observation, pal." Levi grouses as he sticks his finger in his right ear to shake the echo of the loud horn out. "I totally hadn't noticed."

"Hey, man," Farlan retorts as he lays on the mechanic's creeper to side underneath the car. "I'm just looking out for you and your relationship. I want you to bone happily ever after."

"It's way too early for that kind of talk." Levi turns away from his friend, too embarrassed to look Farlan in the eyes, and explains himself. "We're both just so busy...we'll schedule it or something."

A loud clanging rings throughout the garage before Farlan rolls out from under the car to stare at his friend with the most humorless, deadpan expression.

"Schedule it? You mean, schedule sex?" Farlan's tone illuminates the notion to be as ridiculous as Levi knows it is, but the dark-haired man fastidiously remains nonchalant; as if being too busy to fuck his own boyfriend is a normal, if slightly annoying, part of life.

Levi shrugs. "I mean, neither one of us came outright and said it that way, but it was fucking obvious what we were talking about. I think so, anyway."

"That's too much pressure, man!" Farlan cries, running an aggravated hand through his dirt stained blond hair. "That's gonna zap the joy and fun of it all! How good can the fucking be if you two have to plan ahead? Sex shouldn't be mapped out further than carrying some condoms in your wallet."

Weary of Farlan's lectures, Levi feels contradictory enough to sass back, "Oh, yeah? How come we scheduled it for my last fuck?"

"No, no!" Farlan interjects, sliding back under the vehicle. "That's different! We had to go out into the wild and hunt down that piece of tail. Like Elmer Fudd." Farlan proceeds with his spot-on Elmer Fudd impersonation: "Shhh! Be vewy, vewy qwiet! I'm huntin' ass!"

Levi chuckles in spite of himself.

"Besides," Farlan continues. "You don't need to hunt this guy down; he's there, ready and willing to be your sex god, chiseled from marble turned to flesh and bone."

"He is pretty built for a nerd." Levi tries to smother a guilty smile before confessing, "The nanny caught us aggressively making out last night when I went to pick up Eren."

"Right on!"

Levi idly wipes the grease off of the socket wrench as he adds more somberly, "I'm not wishy-washy, and I’m not disagreeing with you; I just can't pretend I'm not a grown ass man with responsibilities that come before-"

"Before you come?" Farlan finishes.

Levi rolls his eyes and returns to his work.

* * *

"We have to make a detour to Toys R Us today, Eren, do you mind?" Erwin asks as the boys buckle up in their respective seats. Eren has been picked up four times now by the Smith family, his daddy needing Armin's poppa’s help on Saturday when a last minute part failed to come in when it ought to have. Fortunate for Armin’s conscious, Eren takes redirection very well, gladly giving his friend some much needed space in favor of TV, playing with Armin's toys, or bonding with Sasha.

"No, I don't mind!" Eren chirps happily, looking forward to a trip to the toy mecca he so rarely has an opportunity to visit. Armin spends the rest of the car ride telling Eren all about the LEGO video game he is about to pick up. Eren nods in earnest, though he is unfamiliar with video games beyond his uncle Farlan’s Super Nintendo and Sega Genesis. “I should look for something for my dad.”

“Last minute Christmas shopping, Eren?” Erwin teases.

"Sorta,” Eren answers with a shrug. “For Christmas and his birthday.”  
  
“Oh, is it soon?”  
  
“Yes, it’s Christmas.”

Erwin shakes his head as he sighs under his breath. _Of course Levi would keep that detail to himself._

When they arrive at the large shopping center where their destination is located, Erwin naturally holds out his hand for Armin to take, but the blond boy is too lost in his excitement, clutching his printed invoice as he cautiously walks a step ahead of Erwin. Before Erwin can register his feelings on this sudden development, he gives a start as another small hand slips into his. Eren seems as unaware of the natural inclination to take an adults hand at a busy parking lot, just as unaware as Armin had been in dismissing it.

Gratefully, Erwin clutches Eren’s hand and they follow Armin closely inside the store, which is bustling with Christmas shoppers.

“Video games are at the back of the store, Poppa,” Armin states, his steps taking on a determined march.

“I’m right behind you, son,” Erwin huffs before he meets some resistance at his left hand. Eren is transfixed elsewhere, looking off down a black and pink aisle.

“Ohhhh, Monster High! Can I stay here?”

“Uhm,” Erwin looks in the direction Armin marched off to, his blond head nearly lost in a sea of holiday bargain hunters. “Alright, but stay here, Eren. Do you understand me? Do not leave this aisle. I will come and find you when we’re done.”

“OK, I promise!” Eren cries, darting off to check out the latest releases of his favorite doll line.

Eren studies them all, reading every single box that strikes his fancy before reshelving the dolls in order of his most favorite all of the way down to his least favorite. Satisfied with his work, Eren stares longingly at his two favoritest: Rochelle Goyle and Draculaura, when a girl and her younger brother join him.

“See! I told you Jinafire Long would be here!” The girl says as she snatches one of the boxes closest to Eren. She looks over her shoulder in bafflement before crying, “Daddy!”

A harried looking man arrives, looking out of sorts as he takes the box from his daughter.

“Is this the one your sister wants?”

“Yes,” the little girl confirms. “Can I get Draculaura?”

“She’s my favorite!” Eren interjects, excited to meet another Monster High fan.

“I want one, too, dad!” the little boy cries. The man looks sharply at his son.

“You don’t want this,” he says, shaking the box carelessly in his hand. “This is a girls toy. Are you a girl?”

“No,” the little boy sulks, shame and hurt written all over his adorably chubby face.

“Are you sure?” The father goes on. “I think you want to wear dresses and have tea parties and be a princess, don't you?”

“I said, no!” the little boy cries, full of rage, with just a hint of a warble in his voice to match the moisture welling in his dark brown eyes.

Eren frowns, unsure why the man isn’t allowing his son to have the doll; and why does he keep calling it a girl toy?

“I’m a boy and I have three Monster High dolls!” Eren declares proudly, taking hold of the box containing Draculaura and hugging it close.

“You’re a girl!” The little boy shouts at him.

“No, I'm a boy,” Eren huffs, one hand on his hip as he cradles the toy in the other arm.

“This crap is for girls,” the father says with an offhand gesture at the dolls. “You’ll end up a sissy if you keep playing with them. Better quit now, son, before you go soft."

"I will not!" Eren shouts at the top of his lungs. "And I'm not your son! You're a horrible, stupid jerk!"

"No, you are!" the little girl shouts, knocking the Draculaura doll out of Eren's hands just as her younger brother begins to cry.

"Knock it off!" Their father scolds angrily. "Boys don't cry!"

Hot, angry tears spring into Eren's eyes as he shouts, "Boys _can_ cry, and they can play with dolls, too!"

"Shut up, sissy!" The other little boy howls between his sobs.

"Eren?" Armin gasps as he and Erwin round the far end of the aisle. Erwin places a firm hand on Armin's shoulder, indicating his son stay put as he fluidly maneuvers himself between Eren, steaming with anger, and the other adult man.

"What is going on here?" Erwin asks in his rarely enforced no-nonsense, founder of a Fortune 500 company voice.

"That man is a bully!" Eren cries, pointing at the other father. "He said I can't play with Monster High dolls because they're only for girls."

"You ought to take that girl crap away from him now before he becomes a fag," the man growls at Erwin.

Erwin gives the man the longest, silent tension-filled death glare he is capable of, effectively sending a shiver to the very core of the other man's soul, rendering him speechless. Erwin then scoops Eren up in his arms and swings the boy to one side.

"I think you ought to mind your own business and worry about your own unhappy children." Erwin comments coldly before taking the toy from the ground and handing it to Eren. He shoots the bigot one last withering stare before escorting his children to the check-out lane.

* * *

Levi sighs, bowing his head as he raises a trembling hand to his brow.

"I knew this day would come," Levi says in a quiet, defeated tone. "Eren's interests have always attracted unwanted attention from fucking pricks, but no one has been such a raging dickhead about it until now. I mean, he's eight for fuck's sake. I thought he would at least make it to thirteen before some rando asshat gave him shit about, I dunno, singing Lady GaGa or wearing pink nail polish." He sighs again as he crosses his arms over his chest. "I want to protect Eren, of course, but...I'm glad it was you and not me. I would have knocked his goddamn block off."

"I figured as much," Erwin replies with a weak grin, pushing a cup of tea along the kitchen island for Levi, who takes a long, grateful sip. Erwin adds, "I was gobsmacked. How can a grown man speak like that to a child, let alone a perfect stranger? And just who in this day and age, in one of the largest metropolitan areas in the world, says that sort of backwards crap?"

"You live in an idealized fantasy, Smith," Levi says waspishly before softening his expression and adding, "I like that about you, though."

Erwin brushes a comforting hand down Levi's arm. "I know life isn't always going to be a picnic, but I'm going to put every effort into making it as positive and accepting as it ought to be."

Levi grins appreciatively, unsure what to say to such mind-boggling selflessness. He hides his reddening cheeks behind the rim of his mug as he takes another long, interruptive sip of tea before moving the conversation along. "On a scale from one to Tazmanian devil, how upset was Eren?"

"Eren was pretty worked up," Erwin admits, underplaying Eren's post-confrontation outburst. "Maybe not Tazmanian devil...more like weasel war dance. Mostly ranting and a bit of tears. Armin was a little out of his element, but he stuck by his best buddy until Eren was ready to play again." Erwin shrugs. "He recovered once we got back home and he opened his doll."

"His doll?"

"Yeah...the monster girl dolls? He was admiring them and, as I told you, one of those other kids knocked it out of his hand? I made sure to grab it before we left."

"So...you just bought him a toy?" Levi's eyes narrow coldly.

Erwin has the sinking feeling he did something wrong. "Uhm...yes?"

Levi sets his mug down and stares Erwin squarely in the eyes.

"You can't do that, Smith."

"Do what? Buy an upset child a toy?"

"Yeah! He'll come to expect it. I don't want him getting spoiled without learning the value of money, okay? Especially this close to the holidays."

Erwin looks down at his feet, frowning.

Standing on his tiptoes, Levi caresses Erwin's cheek reassuringly. "Aw, Jesus, Smith, you look like a scolded puppy. Listen. Despite the fact that my kid attends a private school, we are not your average private school income bracket family. Eren understands I can't give him all of the shit his classmates get. We have to work harder for it. So I can't have him accepting handouts and discovering cute tricks to get what he wants from people."

"I only wanted to do something nice after something so horrendous happened to him," Erwin murmurs with a sigh and a helpless shrug.

"I know," Levi relents, sliding a hand down Erwin's arm. "You don't know how much it means to me. Really. But for now...boundaries."

Erwin concedes with a nod, placing his hand atop Levi's and giving it a squeeze. "Of course."

Armin gazes over at his snoozing friend with a giggle; Eren is on his back, his body in a half-twist like a large feline. His Monster High doll is tucked next to him, her skull key shaped plastic brush lightly clutched in his curled hand. Taking a break from his video game, Armin sets down the controller before standing up and stretching. They ate earlier, but his sweet tooth is acting up and he vaguely wonders if Sasha prepared pudding for them. Vacating the playroom, Armin heads down the back stairs that lead directly into the kitchen, and catches sight of his Poppa and Levi - kissing!

Armin remains rooted to the spot, hoping that neither grown-up can hear his heart hammering in his chest as he panics, unable to move. Finally, his brain shouts at him to return upstairs, and gives permission down to his feet. Armin flies back up the stairs, racing into the playroom and waking up his friend.

"Eren! Wake up, Eren!"

"Huh?" Eren snorts as he becomes suddenly alert. "Armin? What's wrong? Are you OK?"

"Eren! You'll never guess what I saw!"

"A dinosaur?"

"No! For real, I mean. I was going to the kitchen when I saw your dad and my Poppa together."

"Oh, daddy's here?" Eren says, sitting up and beginning to collect his belongings.

"No, Eren, you aren't listening to me! Listen!" Armin hisses under his breath. _"They were kissing!"_

"What?!" Eren cries dubiously.

"They were kissing! On the lips, for a long time. Not on the cheek like in France."

Eren scratches his head, his messy brown hair messier than usual from his odd sleeping position. "Why?"

Armin rolls the question over in his brain as the puzzle pieces begin to fit together. _This explains so much._ "They must really like each other."

It was the most logical and simple explanation Armin could think up on the spot.

"Does this mean your Poppa is going to be my Poppa, too?" Eren wonders aloud, already overjoyed at the prospect of _two_ fathers. Armin opens his mouth to voice his doubt, but hesitates as he is unsure of his feelings and thoughts. His swirling mass of emotions is disrupted by the sound of two sets of footsteps on the stairs.

"I don't think we should say anything," Armin whispers seconds before Levi enters the playroom.

"Hey, little monster, ready to go home?"

Eren bounces off the couch as he exclaims, "Were you kissing Armin's Poppa?!"

Armin winces hard, unable to even look at his uncouth friend anymore. Levi freezes exactly as he is, arms outstretched, ready to embrace his baby boy. Directly behind him, Erwin coughs into his fist.

Levi recovers first, dropping his arms as he guiltily smirks.

"Yeah."

Eren giggles. "Why?"

Levi looks over his shoulder at the taller man, who cocks his head to the side.

"I am curious to know myself."

Levi raises his brows as if to say, _You are no help_ before turning his attention to the boys: Eren, inquisitive and eager like a puppy and Armin, looking as though he would rather be anywhere but here. Levi could have gone with a flippant line, or an elaborate condescending speech that started with _Well, when two grown-ups become friends…_

Instead, Levi remains true to himself, keeping it short and direct.

"Because I like him enough that I wanted to kiss him."

Thankfully, both boys appear to be satisfied with this answer for the time being, and Eren finishes gathering his belongings.

"Do you have childcare for the winter break?" Erwin asks Levi as they wait by the front door for Eren to say goodbye to Sasha.

"Are you offering?" Levi retorts, one finely plucked eyebrow raising. He loathes taking Eren into work for the bulk of the winter break, which begin with a noon dismissal the following Thursday.

"I'm offering," Erwin sasses, blue eyes glittering wickedly.

"What else are you offering?" Levi asks lowly, feeling cruel and naughty.

"Mmmmm," Erwin pretends to think on the question, acutely aware their sons are rapidly approaching. "Let's not start down that road at this most inopportune moment."

"Okay, daddy, I'm ready!" Eren bounces over to his father, taking his hand.

"Thanks again, Smith," Levi mumbles, giving Erwin heavy stare. "Don't know how I'll pay you back."

Erwin shakes his head, narrowing his eyes at Levi's merciless teasing. He watches from the doorway as Levi and Eren head towards the parked motorcycle in the driveway.

"By the way," Erwin calls after them. "What are you doing for your birthday, Levi?"

Levi sharply looks over his shoulder. _How did...of course._ His eyes briefly flick down to Eren before he addresses the obvious bait.

"We have a traditional Christmas morning before packing a picnic and going to the Tiki Drive-In."

"Fun." Erwin cocks his head ever so slightly, feigning innocence. “Perhaps this year you will in the mood to change up your routine?”

Levi's eyes narrow suspiciously. Erwin is up to something; Levi can sense the cogs turning and whirring away in that infinitely scheming brain of his.

"Maybe. We’ll discuss it later," Levi promises, giving Erwin a heated look.

As the motorcycle roars down his driveway, Erwin closes the door with a heavy sigh.

"You two are somethin’ else."

Erwin gives a start, turning to see Sasha leaning against the arch between the foyer and the hall leading towards the kitchen.

"Is that so?" Erwin says, coughing nervously into his fist.

* * *

Levi knows the issue of the dolls is not resolved as Eren remains pensive that evening, finally voicing his turbulent thoughts when Levi is tucking him into bed.

"Daddy, why did that man yell at me and call me a sissy and say that Monster High dolls are for girls only?"

Levi brushes back Eren's brown, messy hair and plants a kiss on the crown of his head.

"Because he's a fucking asshole," Levi automatically replies, handing Eren his Mickey and Batly dolls before setting the ladybug on the pillow next to Eren's head.

"But why?"

Levi 's vulgar answers are no longer satisfactory for his son, a worrisome milestone for Levi.

"Some people, and they're wrong, think that boys and girls can't play with the same toys."

"That's stupid," Eren grouses, hugging his stuffed animals close and popping his thumb into his mouth thoughtfully.

"Totally," agrees Levi with a scoff.

"But why do they think that?" Eren asks around his thumb. Levi cannot imagine a cuter sight.

"I don't think that way, baby, so I have no idea why some people think that way."

Eren does not look completely sure of himself anymore, which equally enrages and depresses Levi. He kisses Eren on the cheek and holds his chin up so they gaze deeply into each other eyes, tips of noses touching.

"But you will always be my Princess Eren."

Finally, Eren smiles, carefree with confidence once more restored. He removes his thumb from his mouth before turning on his side and closing his eyes. Levi knows he cannot keep Eren safe forever; but for now, daddy can still keep the monsters away.

* * *

"Where's Poppa, ducks?" Sasha asks as her wedges click-clack across the hardwood floor to see the boys sulking at the bottom of the staircase. 

"Still at his meeting," Armin sighs as he looks forlornly up and over his shoulder, towards the upstairs office where his father has been holed up all morning.

"My daddy isn't here yet, either," Eren complains, his chin cradled morosely in his little hands.

The keys to her car clutched in her manicured hand, Sasha huffs with impatience and begins to tap her foot irritably. Those idiot men have finally rearranged their schedules so they can take the boys to the zoo together. Sasha was looking forward to laying out by the pool and working on her California tan. Even in December, the sun in Los Angeles impresses pale nanny, raised on grey and dreary Birmingham winters. Leaning on the square newel, Sasha looks down at the boys before looking at her watch, then back at the boys...

"Why are you rushing?" Farlan snaps as Levi moves in sharp, agitated motions under the hood of a roadster. "Got ants in your pants, son?"

"No, I'm just fucking late," Levi growls.

"Pregnancy scare?"

Levi is too wound up to even take note of the bad joke. "To meet up with Erwin and the boys. We’re supposed to go to the zoo and this fucking piece of shit part is doing everything in its power to keep me from it!"

"Hey!" Farlan grabs the part from Levi and gives his partner a shove. "Don't give this hunk of metal so much credit, pal. You just need a break. We always get slammed this time of year and now you have a life so it actually pisses you off. Congratulations. Your reward is clocking out early."

"What?" Levi blinks, unsure he heard correctly.

"Yeah, man, you're gonna break something. You're too high strung and blue ballin' it." Farlan's expression softens. "So get the fuck out of here."

Levi cuffs Farlan on the shoulder. "I owe you."

"You owe me nothing," Farlan calls after his friend as Levi bolts into the office to change and wash up. Under his breath, Farlan murmurs to himself, "Well, maybe a beer."

* * *

Erwin stretches tall, arching his back as he feels the wonderful crack of vertebrae stirred from being at rest for too long. His eyes are dry; a lifetime in front of computer screens has been beneficial for his wallet, but woeful to his aching peepers. After applying some refreshing eye drops, Erwin's vision blinks back into focus as his gaze settles in the clock. It's already one! He was supposed to have left with the boys nearly two hours ago. He hates breaking promises and flightiness; if his own son cannot rely on him, how can his consumers and investors?

As excited as Erwin always becomes over new products under Freedom Software and Freedom Sound, the development cycle does come at a cost to his personal time.

He must reward the boys for being so wonderfully patient, Erwin decides as he heads out of the office. The house is oddly quiet.

"Boys?"

The doorbell rings, followed by insistent knocking. Baffled, Erwin answers the door to a find a somewhat harried looking Levi.

"Hey, Smith, sorry I'm late. I think I violated twenty traffic laws to get here." Levi pushes back his hair, feeling slightly out of breath as if he had ran to the blonde’s home.

"You're only two miles away," Erwin states, making room for Levi to enter the house.

"Yeah, but I'm hella guilty for being so late."

"My meeting just ended," Erwin informs the other man as he closes the front door.

Levi knits his brows and offers a wry smile to the other man.

"For a half second, I thought you and the nanny took off to the zoo without me, so I was half expecting a text telling me to meet you there."

"For a moment, I thought the same," Erwin admits as he looks around the oddly quiet house.

"Where are the boys?"

"I have no idea." Erwin shrugs. “Maybe out back, or in the movie room?”

Levi makes his way through the ground floor, calling out for Eren and Armin.

"Hang on, I forgot to turn my ringer back on." Erwin pulls his phone from his pocket to see a text from Sasha. "Found them!"

Levi rejoins him as they read the Brummie's text:

 **[Sasha]** Boys getting antsy. Taking them to zoo meself. No need to catch up. U 2 working 2 death. Armin asked 4 sushi after. I'm rubbish so going out. Eren says he knows a place. Laters!

The men stand there, unsure what to do with themselves.

"When did she send that?" Levi asks, looking at the other man out of the corner of his eyes. Erwin follows suit, as if frightened that this sudden and unanticipated reality will abruptly shatter if either of them makes a sudden move.

"One hour ago."

"Zoo closes at five."

"They're going out for sushi."

"So we shouldn't expect them..."

"For at least six, maybe seven hours."

"At least."

Erwin and Levi exchange a sly, almost hopeful glance in one another's direction.

"The woman is a fucking saint."

"I'm buying Sasha her own private island."

A flurry of limbs grabbing, holding, touching and tugging as they kiss their way upstairs into Erwin's bedroom. Erwin makes it with only his pants, shoved hastily onto the end of the bed to allow Levi the room he desires to strip. Resting his weight on his palms, Erwin hums lightly with pleasure as Levi quickly whips off his belt and shirt, revealing uninterrupted the tattoos Erwin has longed to feast his eyes on.

With a gasp, Erwin sits erect, pulling Levi closer by the waistband so he can inspect the body art.

The black curl he spied earlier is a feather, part of a very elaborate single black wing up the back of Levi's right arm and shoulder. The detailed artistry gives the appearance of sketched ink work. He does not linger, though, as the massive piece running down Levi's spine is calling his attention. The biomechanical tattoo creates the illusion of skin missing, that underneath is not a mass of muscle and veins but gears and cogs. That Levi had not been born of a human woman, but manufactured by a benevolent inventor with a love for piston rods and old-fashioned car parts. Erwin is unable to resist the urge to run his fingertips down the smooth flesh, marveling at the flawless beauty of the piece.

“I was not expecting this,” Erwin confesses softly. "It's magnificent."

“Thanks. It’s a cover up,” Levi shares. He looks over his shoulder to see Erwin staring up curiously. “It was originally a tattoo representing a group I no longer associate with.”

Erwin nods understandingly, but he hesitates to move forward, as if reigned in by a fine line he was not permitted to cross. Sensing the creeping shadow of tension, Levi turned to face Erwin and caresses the blond man's face with calloused but tender hands.

"A story for another day. Promise."

The tension vanishes, Erwin's easy smile returning. "Any others?" he asks softly. 

"A couple," Levi murmurs, holding out his toned arm. A long key with a diamond shaped bow is inked along his brachial artery, where the neck would be was scripted: Beautiful Boy instead. He lifts his right foot, planting it on Erwin’s knee before pointing down to his ankle. “And this.” Erwin takes hold of the sharp ankle, chuckling lowly as he spies an anklet tattoo featuring two feline silhouettes chasing a tiny ball of yarn. 

“Eren’s idea?” Erwin asks, looking up at the raven-haired man. 

“More or less,” Levi replies before leaning down to wrap his arms around Erwin’s neck and take his lips prisoner. Erwin is surprised by how invigorated he feels; all he can do is look at Levi and marvel while his fires smolder, preparing for a blaze.

* * *

"I'm knackered!" Sasha declares as she unlocks the front door to the Smith residence. Eren zooms past her like a tornado, Armin trailing behind.

"Daddy!" Eren cries, his voice echoing in the foyer. "Dad? Look, I got you something."

"Hello?" Erwin calls from the living room, craning his neck in an attempt to see down the hall. "We're here."

The trio follow the voice, Sasha detouring to the kitchen to watch with amusement from afar. She exchanges a knowing look with Levi, who is snuggled close to her employer with Erwin's arm draped behind him.

"Look, I got you this penny, Dad," Eren holds out his palm and shows off a collectors penny from the L.A. Zoo stamped with the image of a koala. "A koala, your favorite."

"How thoughtful," Levi compliments, hooking his arm around Eren to pull him into a sloppy cheek kiss. "Thanks, little monster."

"Did you have fun at the zoo, Armin?" Erwin asks his solemn child, who hangs back towards the other side of the lounge.

"Yes, I loved the LAIR. Did you know that stands for Living Amphibians Invertebrates and Reptiles? The snakes are gorgeous, Poppa, and inside they have an area called Conservation Care and Behind the Glass where Zookeepers show how they feed baby reptiles and prep food. It was lovely. I bought a book."

"That's fascinating; show me at bedtime, ducks," Erwin says with a smile, grateful his son had a fun day despite his scheduling fuck up. "Did you have sushi for dinner?"

"Yes, Eren told us where to go."

"Tsujimura?" Levi asks his son.

"Yup!" Eren sniffs Levi's hair before touching the ends. "Daddy, your hair is wet."

"Mmmhmm," Levi confirms as he turns over the imprinted penny in his hands. "I took a shower."

"Why?"

Without missing a beat, or the pointed look from Erwin, Levi answers, "Because daddy got very, _very_ dirty today."

  
  



	10. Some Part of Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Are you the right man for me?  
> Are you safe? Are you my friend?  
> Or are you toxic for me?  
> Will you mistreat me  
> Or betray all my confidence?'   
> \- Cocteau Twins (Bluebeard)

"Eat your dinner, Eren," Levi growls at his only child as he glares at the scowling boy from across the table.

"No," Eren says with a severe pout, remaining steadfast in his stubborn anger. Levi bites down on the inside of his cheek; he does not want to yell at Eren in front of Erwin and Armin, who look on with painful awkwardness. Eren is shameless, having not a single care how he behaves in front of other people, no matter how much it pains them with second-hand embarrassment to look on. Levi is beyond caring what anyone else thinks.

"You haven't eaten since lunch yesterday. _**Eat."**_

Eren pushes his mashed potatoes and peas around the cold plate with his fork. His face his adorably petulant, an expression Levi typically relishes, but is impervious to in this particular situation. Erwin had suggested a nice, sit down family meal - away from cell phones, computers, and other distractions of the modern age - and Levi complied without hesitation. Incorporating their families in normal household activities seems like the next logical step in this whole relationship... _thing_...he has gotten himself into.  
  
"No."

Levi cannot take it any longer and bursts, a dam releasing the flood of pent up frustration.

"You're on the fucking grid! The government knows I have you, which means it's my legal responsibility to make sure you don't die, and I am sure as shit not going to jail over your own stubborn brattiness; EAT!"

"No!" Eren shouts down at his plate, refusing to look his father in the eyes.

"May I?" Erwin interrupts at Levi's elbow, ever the mediator.

Levi shakes his head with a roll of his eyes. He doesn't want Erwin or anyone to interfere, but seeing as they upset dinner in Erwin's home, Levi is willing to bend his typically iron will. "Fine, knock yourself out."

Erwin turns to Eren, all smiles and warmth. "Eren, why aren't you eating?"

"I won't ever eat again until I can quit karate and join gymnastics."

"Why do you want to quit karate and join gymnastics?"

"I don't like karate as much as I used to," Eren explains. "I want to try something else and I'm really good at flips and cartwheels and balancing. I want to try it!"

"Well," Erwin gives a cautious nod towards Levi. "Your dad believes that you ought to stick with karate because it gives you discipline and helps you learn self-control and temper management. What can gymnastics do for you?"

Eren mulls on the question, idly picking up a single pea and popping it into his mouth. Levi feels a trickle of hope.

"I would be very active. It would still be a sport, like karate, and use my muscles but in new ways. I would learn new skills and tricks and be doing something I really, really want to do. So it will be fun."

"And what if you don't have fun?" Erwin asks. "What if you want to quit?"

Eren is stumped at last. He shrugs. Levi opens his mouth to gloat in such a way that most parents would find unbecoming, but Erwin raises a hand to shush him.

"I have a proposal to make then. Your father has the ultimate say so, of course, but as a fairly impartial third party who cares about you both, I think a compromise can be found." He looks pointedly at the little boy. "Eren?"

Sulking, Eren looks down at his plate before shrugging and murmuring gruffly, "I guess so."

Erwin looks over at Levi, his expression indicating permission to continue.

"I'm all ears, Smith."

"My proposal is simple: Eren finishes his current level or block of classes, I am frankly unfamiliar with how how karate works, but when time comes to renew the contract, opt out and allow Eren to join gymnastics." At this point, Eren raises his head, expression full of joy which Erwin cuts off abruptly. "However! Eren must agree to commit to one solid year of gymnastics. If, at that time, he enjoys it, continue on. If not, he must return to karate and remain there until his father says he may leave the program, or he becomes an adult. Whichever event arrives first."

Both Ackermans mull over Erwin's idea. The quiet is disrupted when Armin suddenly says, "Oh! Excuse me for a moment." He scoots out of his chair and dashes off.

"Levi, do you agree to these terms?"

Levi eyes Eren across the table. He does not like the idea of Eren getting his way any more than he enjoys dragging a third party into the situation. However, there is something to be said of a boyfriend who just so happens to negotiate international business deals. Implementing a clause over Eren at least gives Levi the control to ensure Eren sticks with something.

"Sure."

"Eren?"

Eren's face slowly begins to soften before he relents. "Deal."

"Good," Erwin pats Eren on the head and runs a hand down Levi's arm. "It was a pleasure doing business with you, gentlemen."

"Now eat your dinner!" Levi demands, clutching his fork so tightly his knuckles are white.

"I will!" Eren cries, stabbing four pieces of chicken before smashing them into the mound of potatoes and shoving them in his mouth. He chews with emphasis directly at his father.

"Eren..."

Eren is saved by Armin, who rushes in with a hardback book in his hands. On the dustjacket was a sketch of a man with a house sprouting from his head. _A Light in the Attic_.

"I was reminded of a poem in this book," Armin says excitedly as he flips through the book of poetry. "Aha! See, Eren? It's called Abigail and the Beautiful Pony. It's about a little girl who wants a pony so badly that she refuses to eat and sleep. She thinks she will die unless her parents buy her a pony. And you know what? She does die at the end of the poem!"

Levi rolls his eyes; he knows Armin means well, but it is unwise to give Eren ideas to further his obnoxiousness.

Eren peers at the book, open to the poem in question, then turns to his father. He is all honey and sweetness again as he asks, "Can I have a pony, Daddy?!"

* * *

After dinner and washing up, Erwin finds Levi by the window idly watching a neighbor's cat bat at a stray leaf sailing around the pool. Wrapping his arms around the shorter man's shoulders, Erwin leans down and kisses the top of Levi's black hair.

"What do you want for your birthday?"

"I don't need anything," Levi replies with a nasal huff of humor.

Erwin turns the other man around so he can look him in the turquoise lined eyes. Levi even added a smudge of gunmetal shadow around the inner corners, Erwin notes mentally.

"I did not ask you if you _need_ anything; I distinctly asked what you want."

Levi smirks, enjoying the way Erwin takes a bit of control. He will not always let him - once in a blue moon - but it's a relief to have someone who is secure enough to let Levi take charge but also senses just when to push Levi's buttons.

"I want a lot of things." Levi says lowly as he closes what little distance remains between their bodies. Erwin's hands roam down his back.

"Like what?" The blonde asks, his hands coming to rest just above Levi's muscular ass. He wants to grab it and do awful things to him, but the distant sound of their children playing remains a reminder to keep it PG...ish.

Levi smiles almost apologetically, a little flush in his typically pale cheeks.

"I honestly can't think of anything in particular."

"Hmm. So a surprise it is. Fantastic; my favorite kind of gift."

"Should I be concerned?"

"Nahhhhh." 

"What about you? Uhm, what do you want? For Christmas?" Levi is notoriously bad at gifts outside of Eren.

"Me? I have everything I could want. Although..."

"Yes?" Levi prompts with a dubious tone, sensing Erwin is about to be naughty.

"Alone time would be nice."

"That shouldn't be a gift," Levi scoffs, "that's natural in a relationship."

"Well it's what I want most of all, Santa."

Levi quirks a brow. "You clearly have something in mind."

"A sleepover."

"A sleepover?" Levi repeats, his perfectly sculpted eyebrow arching higher.

"A grownup sleepover."

"And the kids?" Levi inquiries.

Erwin shrugs. "They can have a sleepover, too. Armin and Eren can bunk together and you and I... can bunk together, too." He links his hands at the small of Levi's back and smiles smugly, clearly proud of himself.

"Hmmm," Levi hums as he scrutinizes the taller man before lifting himself on his tiptoes and ruffling Erwin's hair. "I'm sure those devil horns are going to sprout any second, Smith."

Erwin burst into boisterous, appreciative laughter as he squeezes Levi closer to him. The raven haired man raises on his toes again to give his boyfriend a kiss. Locked in their embrace, neither man is prepared for the maniacal giggle that interrupts their kiss. Eren and Armin stand across the room, the former with his hand to his smiling mouth as if he just saw something equally amusing and naughty. Armin looks slightly affronted, impatient almost.

"Ready to go home?" Levi asks, gently breaking away from Erwin.

"Yup," Eren giggles.

"What do you say, little monster?"

"Thank you for dinner!" Eren chirps obediently.  
  
"I'm going to bed," Armin says with a yawn, turning to hug Eren before going over to his father for a hug. "Bonne nuit, Poppa."

"Night, Armin," Levi says with as he exchange a friendly wave with the little boy. Levi then excuses himself to the restroom, leaving Eren and Erwin alone.

"Eren, I've been wondering what to get your daddy for his birthday. I think I have an idea, but I am going to need your help. So I need to know two answers: One: Will you help me?"

"Yes," Eren says with a dramatic nod.

"Two: Can you keep a secret?"

Eren thinks about this question before repeating the theatrical nod. "Yes."

"Fantastic."

* * *

As the holidays rapidly approach, so does Erwin's zeal for gifting others. Every spare moment he can pry away between meetings while the boys are at school and Levi is at work finds him zipping around Los Angeles county, scouring the southland for the perfect gifts. Sasha is easiest, as most any top of the line kitchen equipment or funky culinary gizmo pleases her. As their kitchen is well stocked, Erwin decides, in true Californian style, to give the nanny a completely barbecue themed holiday with state of the art REC TEC wood pellet smoker to pal up next to their grill, leather apron and grill gloves, meat tenderizers, and utensils for perfect that perfect SoCal sear. A quick Google search also procured him mortadella, sopressata and prosciutto themed socks, as their little family unit has long had a tradition of giving fun socks in the hung stockings (along with an orange, at Sasha's very British insistence).

"Are you still Christmas shopping?" Levi chastises as they chat via phone during his lunch break. He takes a particular glee in giving Erwin hell for being so jolly about the holidays. Even the Christmas tree Erwin employed Levi and Eren to pitch in with decorating was twenty feet of blithesome festiveness. Levi merely called Erwin an overachiever.  
  
"You have to appreciate the staggering amount of people I know," Erwin replies with a laugh as he walks along the shopping mecca that is Beverly Hills.  
  
"Not to be a dick or anything, but can't you just cut them a check and be done with it?"

"Secular winter solstice bonuses are for my employees. My loved ones deserve personalized tokens of my affection."  
  
"I'd rather have the check," Levi grumbles, only half-jokingly.  
  
Erwin barks with laughter before walking up the steps to the Tiffany & Co. flagship store on Rodeo Drive.  
  
"So, who's up on the list, Santa Smith?"  
  
"Well, I still have to shop for the family Armin and I adopted for the holidays. Did you want to come along with us?"  
  
"Sounds like a tradition you and Armin love to do together. I would be just a third wheel."  
  
"No! Well, I suppose I should ask Armin. It's fun playing secret Santa for families who can't otherwise afford it. It's great for Armin, too, to really understand the meaning of the holidays."  
  
"You don't need to impress me, Smith," Levi jest dryly. "I'm already boning you."  
  
Erwin laughs appreciatively before adding, "Right now, though, I am focusing on Ilse, Nanaba, and Hitch, my publicist. I'm just about to pop into Tiffany's for some inspiration with Hitch since she is the shiny objects type."  
  
"Well, don't let me stop you."  
  
"Uhm." Erwin stands aside just short of the entrance, and takes a seat on a stone bench just to the side of Tiffany & Co. "There is something I want to ask."  
  
"I don't need nor want anything from Tiffany's, Smith. Unlike your magpie publicist, I am not the shiny objects type."  
  
"No. It's about Eren's gift."  
  
"You already gave Princess Eren a gift, Smith. The Monster High doll."  
  
"Surely you're not going to count that! He already has it. He needs something to open on Christmas."  
  
"Tell you what. I take the doll when he's not looking, stick it in an old shoe box and you can wrap it in stealth, stick it under the tree and have him open it."  
  
"You wouldn't really do that..."  
  
"I don't want my kid to expect anything."  
  
"Why?"

 _Because I am afraid I am going to wake up from this dream and all of these wonderful feelings and you will be gone_ , Levi thinks instinctively, but remains silent. _Or maybe you will be the one to wake up._ The silence seems to speak for itself as the ever-intuitive Erwin catches on faster than Levi is prepared for.

"Levi."

"Hm?"

"I'm not going anywhere. Are you?" Erwin knows that despite Levi’s ornery reluctance, his boyfriend is obviously interested in furthering their relationship. However, Erwin is beginning to realize there is a mental block preventing Levi from letting Erwin be another father figure to Eren. Self-reliance? Erwin can only assume, and he knows this isn't the time or place to have an in-depth heart to heart about it.

"No, I'm right here."

Erwin sighs impatiently. "You know what I meant. I want this to work, you want this to work. We both have families that need to be eased into this and integrated. I want to be a regular, normal part of Eren's life just as much as I want you to be a regular, normal part of Armin's life. You got him a birthday gift even before we started dating!"

"First of all, it was his birthday. Kids get gifts on their birthdays. Kids I actually like get a gift from me on their birthday. Secondly, you gave Eren a forty dollars party favor in kind, so don't tell me my buying your kid a socially appropriate gift is the same as you buying my kid gifts on the random."

"Yes, but, wait. How did you know the ladybug light cost forty dollars?"

"Lucky guess," Levi answers quickly, munching on some chips guiltily. _I'll be damned if I'm going to tell him I looked that night light sound machine bug on the internet._

"All right, well, this is a socially appropriate occasion. Christmas. I think it would be strange if I didn't give him something."

Levi groans, feeling dizzy from all of the circling back conversation. "Fine, fine. Since you're the genius who let him quit karate, you can pay for his gymnastics class."

"Done!"

"Happy, Santa Smith?"

"Ho, ho, ho."

* * *

"What are you getting your dad for Christmas?" Eren asks as he and Armin lay belly down in the kitchen of the Smith residence, a wide sheet of butcher paper rolled out across the marble floor - pretty rather than practical, according to Sasha, as she concentrates on dinner. The chocolate wrappers from the latest treats found in the Pakkekalender, a kind of Danish Advent Calendar, lay between them.

"A beer brewing kit, some robots for his office, new pyjamas, a kite shaped like the spaceship Challenger, and some other silly things like weird soda from that grocer your dad took us to once."

"Hmmm," Eren hums thoughtfully, tapping the butt of a pink marker against his chin. "I still have no idea what to get my dad."

"Have you two written your letters to Father Christmas?" Sasha asks as she checks the Marsala sauce.

"Yes," Armin answers loudly, to cover Eren's baffled, "Who?"

The blond haired boy leans close to whisper in Eren's ear, "Sasha doesn't know that I know Father Christmas, uhm, Santa Claus, isn't real. So Poppa and I only _pretend_ I don't know because it will break her heart."

"Do you still leave milk and cookies out, then?"

"Mince pies and sherry," Armin corrects. "And risengrød for the elves."

"I won't let on that I know, then," Eren promises. "I don't want her heart to break, either."

After dinner, but before Levi arrives to pick Eren up from the Smith residence, Erwin makes a gentle segue to have a moment with Eren by catching Sasha's eye and nodding subtly.

"Ducks, come help me with the wash," Sasha insists of her young charge, taking up some of the plates while Armin follows. Eren, still munching on his fudge brownie dessert, continues to daydream until Erwin interrupts with a throaty cough.

"So, Eren," Erwin begins. "Have you gotten all of your Christmas shopping finished?"

Eren shakes his head. "No. Everyone is done except for my dad."

"Do you know what you want to get him?"

Eren sighs, his shoulders slumping dramatically with his exhale. "Not really." A mischievous smile suddenly breaks across his face as he tilts his head and looks over at Erwin. "Maybe I can go shopping with you or Uncle Farlan? He gave me ten dollars last year to buy something for my dad."

Taken aback with Eren's shameless enthusiasm for an easy fix, Erwin nearly loses his impassive expression before catching himself. He smiles instead. "What did you get for everyone else?"

Eren shrugs. "Just homemade stuff my dad helped me with."

"I think homemade gifts are awesome. Why don't you do the same for your daddy?"

"Nothing I make is good enough!" Eren declares with a dramatic sigh, resting his chin in his palms. "And I've made him millions of stuff before. I've run out of ideas!"

"Well, then you've come to the right man, Eren, because I am what they call An Ideas Man."

"Really?" Eren asks with a note of hopefulness in his voice.

"Let's go to the computer," Erwin says, leading the way to the communal computer in the through-way between the kitchen and family room. He pulls up Google and after a brief search, brings up an article all about DIY gift ideas. "We can aim for a couple of these ideas and see what you can realistically accomplish in the two weeks we have until Christmas."

"Okay!" Eren exclaims as he sits on the stool next to Erwin. They settled on three projects Eren feels confident that his father will love. "But I don't have all of these things," Eren points out, gesturing to the computer screen full of materials.

"Let's work out a deal, then," Erwin says, a plan already formulated in his head. "Since you will be over here during some of the winter break, I think it would be fair if we trade services. I’ll buy all of the materials needed to accomplish these projects while you, in turn, will help Sasha with whatever task she needs and maybe some extra chores, like whatever your dad has you help with around your own home."

"I sort laundry and dust and vacuum," Eren said.

"Then you can do those things here, too." Erwin says with a nod. And so Levi can't accuse me of giving Eren something for nothing. "Sound like a fair trade?"

"Yes," Eren says agreeably with a nod.

Erwin mirrors the nod, happy the situation went smoother than planned. Holidays in a new relationship can be tricky matters, and typically Erwin would be more conservative about being so involved so quickly, but the children add a unique facet to the matter that requires a lot more tender loving care than average. Which reminds Erwin of another top secret Santa project.

"Oh, I have those, ahm, items you were kind enough to obtain for me. Go help Sasha and Armin, please, and I’ll go get them and put them in your backpack."

"Daddy goes through my backpack," Eren warns as he gets up from his chair. "Just stick them in my coat pockets."

"Will do."

"What time would you like to come over on Christmas?" Erwin asks when Levi arrives to pick Eren up that evening.

"Mm..." Levi grunts in thought. "Eren typically wants to open presents as soon as he wakes up, and we have breakfast after that, then just lounge around in our PJs for a while. I think I can talk Farlan and Isabel into going over here by early afternoon."

"One or two, then?"

"Two." Levi confirms with a nod. He is nervous about Christmas; this is a big test of blending his family with Erwin's. Thanksgiving is relatively minor and adaptable to different circumstances, but the Ackerman Christmas has been a routine that has never quite been altered since establishing his home in Altadena.  
  
"Are they comfortable coming over?" Erwin asks, sensing Levi's pensive energy. 

"Yes. They might not feel the need to stay very long, but they will come."

* * *

"Aw, why do we have to go?" Isabel whines, munching noisily on a bag of chips while leaning on a cherry bomb red car her brothers are fixing up.

"Because we always spend Christmas together," Levi answers simply.  
  
"Yeah, but it's also your birthday," Isabel argues. "We usually have a nice blowout with bowling and a barbecue."

"We're still celebrating," Levi reasons. "We are just changing the location and there will be three extra people." Isabel gives him a dubious stare. "I thought you hit it off with Sasha?"

"Sure, I like her, but I just don't get why we have to go."

"Shut it, Isabel," Farlan orders from underneath the vehicle. "Levi is trying to make something work with Erwin, and his royal hotness demands our attendance to what I am sure will be the ritziest holiday spread we have ever dined on."

"Fancy food?" Isabel grouches between crunches of her sour cream and cheddar chips. "Are we talking one of those honey hams kind of fancy, or like weird food fancy? Like fish eggs and white asparagus?"

"I have no idea what Sasha is making for Christmas," Levi confesses. "I'm pretty sure it will not be caviar or albino vegetables."

"Do we have to get them presents?"

"No, of course not," Levi reassures her, though he silently hopes Erwin's generous nature does not make him blind to the awkwardness sure to ensue if he whips out presents for Isabel and Farlan. _Maybe I should talk to him? I don't know... What if the thought never crossed his mind and I make it weird? Goddamnit, I hate this._

"What about Christmas Eve?" Isabel asks, trying to compromise from a different angle. "We go out for Chinese on Christmas Eve; can't we shift that over and keep Christmas for ourselves?"

"Christmas Eve is a big deal to Armin because of some traditions they established in Europe," Levi explains patiently, understanding Isabel's stubborn attitude about changing things. Truth be told, he isn't one-hundred percent happy with deviating from tradition, but Erwin is so keen on incorporating their families that Levi is willing to give it a go. For a half day, anyway. "I think it should be family only."  
  
"Yeah, but they're not in France or Denmark now," Isabel begins to argue before her brother interrupts.

"It's Levi's birthday and we're doing what he says," Farlan announces with finality in his voice. "Next year we will have it all sorted better. It just has to be a little touch and go for right now. Suck it up and deal with it, Izzy."

"If there is a next year," Levi mumbles, unsure his boyfriend will continue to slum it with him and deal with this awkward dance of including Levi's makeshift family and the waxing/waning of Levi's readiness to change his life.

"Don't talk like that; of course there will be a next year!" Isabel says encouragingly with a gentle punch on the shoulder.

Levi smiles weakly at her. "Thanks. Sorry about ruining Christmas."

"It's not ruined," Isabel admits with an apologetic smile. "I guess so long as we have our spicy Chinese Christmas Eve dinner and Christmas morning, it'll be alright."

"What are you getting Erwin for Christmas anyway?" Farlan asks.

"I don't know. He's impossible to shop for, seeing as he has everything."

"Didn't you ask what he wanted?"

"Yes..."

"And?"

Levi coughs into his fist before replying. "Never mind what he asked for."

Isabel makes theatrical gagging noises as she throws her hands into the air and waves them as if wasps are flying around her head.

"OK, I get it! Not for innocent ears! Gross out; I am outta here. Farlan, pick up milk and eggs on your way home."

"Just take some cash of my wallet and get them yourself."

"Woohoo! Money!"

"Only a ten!" Farlan cries after his sister as she skips towards the office. Farlan peeps up from under the corner of the car and raises a brow at his friend. "So, what did Magically Babelicous ask for?"

"A sleepover."

"A dirty sleepover?" Farlan asks hopefully, his blond eyebrows rising up and down salaciously.

"Not specifically that, although I'm sure it will go in that direction."

"Why are you so down about it?" Farlan tilts his head backwards to ensure his sister is safely within their office, no doubt robbing him blind. He lowers his voice regardless . "You said the sex was hot." Farlan gasps. "Unless you lied to spare my feelings?"

"No, I didn't lie. It's great. Sleeping over just means something else."

"You want it to be more than sex, though."

"Of course I do," Levi snaps. "But I've never really been the stay until morning and have coffee and eggs together in each other's shirts kind of person. Because of Eren, it's been a quick fuck and home by two AM kind of life since you and I called it quits."

"And you did fine with the shirts and eggs or whatever the fuck you said part. So you had practice and you're ready for the big leagues now. Although you should ditch the idea of wearing one another shirts. You'd be drowning in his and he wouldn't even be able to get one beefy arm down your sleeve."

Levi bursts into laughter at the image painted by his best pal.

"Byeeee!" Isabel cries as she zooms past them, cash stuffed into her red leather jacket pocket. They wait until the roar of her bright red Harley Davidson is echoing down the neighborhood before continuing their conversation.

"Is it really Eren you're worried about?" Farlan asks, knowing his best friend well enough to recognize the true anxiety.

"I've never spent a full night anywhere but home with him."

"So now you have to get your sleepover jitters sorted." Farlan rolls under the car again. "Why doesn't Eren just sleep over, too? Make it a family sleepover? Only, you know, the boys get popcorn and a movie and you two get ass."

"I don't know if the kids are ready to see us so comfortable and be as integrated. Particularly Armin. There is something... I don't know. Maybe I'm reading into it. After the costume incident, though, I have been trying to pay more attention to him."

"To what he says?"

"To what he doesn't say," Levi explains.

"Bottles things up, does he?"

"It seems so."

"Now, who does that remind me of..."

"We can smell our own." Levi idly scratches his chin before realizing he spread grease onto his face. He looks at his hand, annoyed. "Besides. Who will feed the cats if we're both gone? And it's not as if Eren can stay by himself. So, no. I'm just going to have to get Smith a really nice tie or something lame like that."

"Oh, god!" Farlan moans. "You are depressing the fuck outta me, man. Just...fucking go for it, you silly bastard! I'll stay with Eren if it means you'll quit whining and spoon with the man."

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"Armin, too? Because I don't think I can fuck him if I know there is a kid in the house."

"You mean in his crazy large house, where the kid has a bedroom clear across the other end and wouldn't hear you screaming Smith's name like a fucking Catholic prayer? Fine. Why not? Send him over, too. The more the merrier!"

"Thanks."

"I am not going to be your Fairy Godfather forever, though, Levi! You're going to have to man up and eventually dive in without me pushing you off the board."

* * *

  
"I hope you know that you and Levi Ackerman are causing quite the scandal among the other Emerson parents," Hange informs Erwin as they trudge through the crowds of Christmas shoppers in Old Town Pasadena, the main hub of the Rose City.

"Are we?"

"You picking up Eren two, three times a week. Secluding yourselves at the last parents night. Leaving at the same time from the last parents night," Hange looks at him pointedly.

"Subtlety has never been my forte, Hange,” Erwin sasses with a roll of his blue eyes before he nudges his friend towards a specific direction. “Here. This is the store Sasha recommended.”

Hange's eyebrows elevate well above the rim of her glasses as she gazes at the black and white striped exterior of the shop. “Sephora? Nanny wants some new make up for Christmas?”

“Not Sasha, Levi,” Erwin informs her.

“I thought you were working on some project that's very hush hush?”

“Yes, for his birthday. This is his Christmas present.” Erwin pats Hange's arm and smiles reassuringly at her. "Come on, now. One more store and I'll split a hot fudge sundae with you!"

"Hah!" Hange barks with laughter. "Buy your own, Grinch. I'm not in the Christmas spirit of sharing yet."

"You're Jewish," Erwin reminds her absently as they step inside the makeup store.

They part ways, Hange drawn to the stately and colorful display of nail varnish. “Levi does have the perfect palate of a face for makeup,” Hange muses as she picks up a bottle of nail varnish in an acid chartreuse color.

“Yes...” Erwin mumbles as he surveys the store, nearly every foot of it crawling with holiday shoppers. He begins to feel a little light headed when a young woman pops beside him.

“May I help you find something today, sir?”

“Ah, yes. My boyfriend enjoys wearing uhm, what's it called again?” He points to his eyes.

“Eyeshadow?”

“No. I mean, yes, I suppose he does wear that, too. But the stuff here.” He aims the tip of his finger at his eyelash line.

“False eyelashes?”

“No! Is there such a thing?”

“Yup! Oh! Mascara?”

"Yes! Wait. Maybe.”

Hange rolls her eyes and takes pity on her friend as she leans over from the nail varnish display and whispers loudly, “Eyeliner.”

“Yes! Eyeliner." Erwin nods confidently as he points to Hange. "Definitely that.”

“Ohhhhhh!” The shop girl says with a chuckle. “Great! That's getting us somewhere. Now. What brand does your boyfriend like?”

“Brand?” Erwin echoes helplessly. He realizes he is officially in over his head.

“Oh, for christ's sake, Erwin,” Hange snaps as she sets down the varnish in exasperation. “Just get him a gift card and be done with it. You promised me a hot fudge sundae and I intend to have you make good on it."

* * *

Levi glances up at the clock; Erwin will be there any minute to squire him off for a late Saturday lunch. He breaks out the lined Hello Kitty stationary and makes sure to set out the letter and drawing Eren gave to him a week ago when he meant to have this letter to Petra out.

"Hello?" Erwin gently interrupts from the open front door.

"Hey," Levi calls from the kitchen. "Come on in. Sorry, I'm running late. Work has been a fucking mess and I'm behind getting this letter out."  
  
Erwin approaches the kitchen and spies the already posted envelope, waiting to be filled. "Going to Germany, I see. If you want to swing by my place first we can weigh it and print out international priority postage so it has a chance of getting there before 2013 is officially over."  
  
"Sure, thanks."

Erwin's eyes cannot help but look downward at the name. Petra Ral.

"She's a friend," Levi says evasively, catching Erwin's glance, before his brain gives him a mental kick to remind him that he is supposed to share his life with Erwin, not make it play hide and go seek. "When Eren was very little I was on my own, with just a bit of help from Farlan. He had his own issues, though, trying to find reliable work that wasn't related to the gang. So I was struggling. I didn't know where to take him that would be safe and, as we're a one-horse kind of town, so I wound up at the library. Petra was working as a page there and would help me out, giving me books about babies and suggesting books to read to Eren, telling me it's important for his brain." Levi shoves his hands into his jacket pockets and smiles at the memories. "She was promoted to children's librarian and developed some programs for babies and toddlers. She offered to watch Eren so I could work, and normally I'd never leave him with anyone but...I really needed the money and she was amazing. I could not have managed without her. It broke me up when she said she was moving to Germany, but truth be told, she was my last connection to Oakhurst and her leaving was the last push I needed to take Farlan up on his offer - more like pestering - to go into business with him here in L.A.."

"So I should thank her."

"Maybe."

"Why did she move to Germany?"

Levi rolls his eyes. "A man. Although I guess that’s not the worse thing in the world. She wanted a more European way of life. Less work, more play, that sort of socialist bullshit."

Erwin laughs. "Can't say I didn't move over there for similar reasons."

"Yet you came back."

"A promise to Hange and my mother."

"So, I should thank them?"

"Wait until we've dated a while before you break out the thank-you cards."

Levi smiles and holds up the as yet written on stationary apologetically. Erwin raises his hand, waving off the apology. "Take your time. I am happy sitting here bonding with the cat that keeps curling around my ankles."

"That's Scoots," Levi calls as Erwin gives him some privacy, vacating to the living room. "Scuttles is on my lap." Levi says, stroking the soft, short black fur of his cat.

_Dear Petra,_

_Hopefully this letter will get to you by Christmas. Are those post office pricks still on strike? How is your class doing? I know I am a bastard for not sending you a thank you card for the care package you sent me and Eren. We loved the chocolate dipped cookies and the illegal Kinder eggs. They tasted extra good because they're criminal. Farlan stole the paprika chips so I can't comment on them, but he said they were very good. Eren is doing very well in school. That little boy he made friends with, Armin, has become his best friend and they're inseperable. I like Armin, too. He's quiet and smart, two traits I admire and hope will rub off on Eren. Karate isn't going to happen anymore. Eren wants to switch to gymnastics. We struck up a deal since I was reluctant to let him quit. Actually, Armin's dad thought up the bargain – we just agreed to it. I don't actually give a shit what Eren does as long as he commits and gets his aggression out. He hasn't had much though since Armin, and has in fact earned better grades than ever before. It hasn't been too painful for his teachers to find honest praise of him._

_I guess this is as good of a time as any to also mention that I started to see someone. Armin's dad, actually. His name is Erwin Smith – isn't that a fucking dorky name? Everything about him is dorky, really. He's a total computer nerd and a music geek (snob, really) and makes the lamest jokes. I am so embarrassed every time we go out. It's kind of fantastic. Everything is so new so I don't want to say much more in case I jinx it. Who knows. Maybe we'll have broke it off by the time you write back._

_I hope not, though. He's a great dad, and he’s really grounded, generous and kind. I feel like a total bum in comparison, but he seems to like me. He keeps asking me out, anyway. I dunno. Maybe he just likes me in the sack?_

_Isabel has been advancing with the Derby Dolls. She isn't nearly as bruised and busted as she was in the beginning of this whole roller derby thing. I think Farlan will be heartbroken when she transfers to a university, though. He'd rather gut himself than admit it, of course. She has her heart still set on San Luis Obispo for animal husbandry or farming or some Old McDonald shit._

_I know you like the quaintness of letter writing, but Erwin was telling about this thing on the internet called Sky. Or Scope. Or something. It makes video calls for free apparently. I know you're more computer savvy than me so if you look into it and it seems legit, we can give it a go. I know you're like 10 hours or something ahead of me but we can work it out, maybe? It would be nice to talk to you face to face again, and Eren would love to see you. He pretends to remember his brief time in Oakhurst, but I know he doesn't really. You can see how big he's gotten outside of school pictures anyway._

_Merry Christmas and Happy New Year,_

_Levi_

  


Levi sits up and arches his back until he hears a distinct pop, twisting side to side until his muscles loosen. He feels rubbish at letter writing, but he does admit that he is more apt at it than he was five years ago when he first began to send Petra letters. He looks down and nods in satisfaction. It'll do.

"Hey," Levi calls as he begins to fold the letters and drawing to stuff the into the envelope. "How about we forget going out to lunch, stay here, fool around and eat some boxed macaroni and cheese instead?"

Erwin does not hesitate in his reply. "Sounds great to me."

  



	11. Christmas Wrapping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'But all this year's been a busy blur  
> Don't think I have the energy  
> To add to my already mad rush  
> Just 'cause it's 'tis the season.  
> The perfect gift for me would be  
> Completions and connections left from last year.'
> 
> \- The Waitresses (Christmas Wrapping)

"What were your Christmas' like growing up?" Erwin asks as he and Levi walk arm in arm around the Pasadena Hastings district where an entire community of hillside homes have decked out their houses in themed holiday splendor. Just ahead, Eren and Armin duck between the other dozens of families come to admire the festive decor. 

"Uhm," Levi thinks back to memories he has kept locked up inside of him for so long, not even sharing with Eren. "When Mom was around she did her best to make the most of it. We typically mooched off my grandparents for Christmas dinner, but Christmas morning was always set aside for me. She'd make me one of those creepy smiling breakfasts - pancake face, bacon mouth, scrambled eggs hair, fruit eyes, you know." Levi smiles up at Erwin, unsurprised to find the taller man beaming down at him. It feels good to talk about his mother; at least, not nearly as painful as he always assumed it would be. "She'd put a candle in it and sing me happy birthday. Half of my presents were wrapped in newspaper comicstrips - and the other half was wrapped in Christmas advertisements."

"To differentiate."

"Yeah. She always made it clear that they were two separate holidays." Levi shrugs. "Not as if my birthday is a holiday, but she treated it as such. I liked that." Levi frowns a little, reluctant to continue and share the darker moments about Christmas when his mother's drinking worsened. His grandparents would make sure their house was totally dry those last couple of years. Not wanting to dwell on those parts and ruin the moment, Levi decides to let those memories pass unsaid.

"That sounds very sweet." Erwin says, touching Levi's gloved hand gently.  
  
"After she died I kind of hated Christmas. I guess I blamed it irrationally, but it wasn't the same with the gang, even if they tried their best. In their own fucked up, white trash redneck kinda way." Levi laughs, something he has been unable to do before when thinking back on all of the half-assed Christmases his uncle and other members of the motorcycle "club" threw for him. "Once Eren came around, though, Christmas got pretty cool again."

"Being an adult does have its perks," Erwin notes. "Creating our own family traditions being pretty high up there on the list."

"What about you? Big Christmas turkey, bugging the neighbors with hokey Christmas carols? You seem  _ really _ into Christmas."

"Remarkably, I wasn't as a kid or teenager. My dad was, though, and I think as enthusiastic as he was, that's how surly I became about it. We were the weird secular family that only had one or two presents - always practical - and devoted most of the holidays to charity and, yes, caroling...Oh, my parents adore Christmas carols. I wanted nothing to do with it; all I wanted was a normal Christmas like all of my friends had: a big tree with a ton of impractical presents under it, everything I ever asked for waiting to be opened on Christmas morning. Lingering in my pajamas all day, and a huge, home-cooked meal for dinner. We'd gorge ourselves on our feast and spend the rest of the day watching classic Christmas movies on the television. Like true Americans. Hell, even Hange, who’s Jewish, got the turkey dinner."

"What did your parents do instead?"

"Christmas is about giving," Erwin says in a gruff voice, obviously imitating someone. "It's about helping others when they need it the most." He shakes his head and his voice returns to normal as he elaborates. "Dad had us volunteering as soon as my school holidays kicked in: singing carols to a children's oncology ward, soup kitchens, collecting and sorting donations at homeless shelters, children's clothing and toy drives; reading  _ The Night Before Christmas _ to the elderly whose ungrateful relatives forgot about them; and every Christmas Day we were up at the crack of dawn to prepare food and then serve it at a shelter. No one had time or energy to cook a Christmas dinner in my family, so when we were eventually relieved of our holiday duty, it was blue plate turkey specials at whatever unfortunate greasy spoon was open on Christmas evening."

"That  _ is _ what Christmas is supposed to be about," Levi points out, daring to play devil's advocate.

"I know. I didn't appreciate the gesture until years later, of course. I do my bit now,  _ especially  _ now, of course. After dad died, mom and I cut back on the zealous volunteering. She even gave me a couple of all-American Christmases, the exact kind I'd been envisioning since I was little. They just weren't the same without him."

"I know what you mean."

Erwin gives Levi’s hand a squeeze. "I know you do."

They walk in comfortable silence, keeping an eye on their sons two houses ahead of them before Erwin breaks the silence.

"Do you want a car?"

"Excuse me?" Levi asks, incredulous.

"I still have another six months on the lease for the Prius, but I've had an opportunity I cannot resist come up, so I won't be needing it after the new year."

"So...you're asking me if I want a new car...but just for six months?"

"Well, I know cars, especially modern cars, aren't really your style. Thought the Prius might come in handy for hauling the kids around, especially when I'm on the road in January."

Levi inhales deeply and sighs. Armin has been okay jumping in the sidecar with Eren, but with groceries and the extra toting around of another child and all of his sundries, it will probably require more room than his sidecar and the truck he occasionally shares with Farlan allow. 

"I'll think about it," Levi finally concludes before giving Erwin a sharp side-eye glare. "What opportunity are you poorly trying to cover up?"  
  
"Poppa is getting a brand new 2014 Model S Tesla," Erwin answers proudly with a cackle at the end. 

"Aren't those cars, like, over a hundred grand?" Levi asks as they turn on a gingerbread people themed lane, catching Eren scooping up a big ball of fake snow and trying to chuck it at Armin, only to watch it fluffily fall to the ground, much to Armin's amusement.

"Probably, but a gentleman does not inquire about the price tag of a gift."

"They're  _ giving  _ it to you?" Levi cries, goggling. Erwin's gloating smile is all the confirmation Levi needs. He whistles appreciatively with a shake of his head. "This is what's wrong with the class system." 

Erwin leans down to give Levi a peck on the crown of his head. "I would normally agree with you, dear, but Poppa's getting a Tesla so Poppa doesn't care."

"Poppa better stop talking in third person before Poppa gets a swift kick to the nads."

"Ho, ho, ho."

Levi rolls his eyes before they slide back into the comfortable silence. The mentioning of Christmas and presents triggers a reminder to bring up a similar topic, which gives Levi a creeping sense of discomfort. After another block (Winter Wonderland themed), Levi finally musters up his nerve and speaks again. "Listen. I've been thinking about this whole sleepover thing...I guess I've been  _ overthinking _ , is really the truth of it. And yeah, let's go for it."

"Really?"

"Sure. But let's make it soon so I don't bitch out."

Erwin throws his head back and laughs, the full-bodied laugh that he throws his everything into which Levi is growing to adore with every passing day. Levi squeezes the other man's arm tightly.

"How about New Year's Eve?"

"Perfect. I'll be busy that day with all of the last minute orders, but Farlan and I made it clear to our clients that we're not working into the night like usual. All of the floats and vehicles have to be lined up in the middle of the night for the Rose Parade. So I'll be out of there by seven or eight."

"I'll break out the board games and candy."

"Hah. Oh, and bonus! Farlan offered to watch the boys at my place for us."

* * *

"Forget it!"

"You promised!" Levi cries in dismay.

"Sure, before I knew you were going to schedule your overnight boinking session on New Years fucking Eve. Are you insane?"

"What's wrong?" Levi demands, scandalized that Farlan is going back on his word. 

"Levi, it's not just that you've been near Monkish celibacy, but you can count on one hand how many times you have gone out on New Year's Eve in the last nine years. Therefore I realize you are a bit out of touch on the entire concept of this most glorious of holidays, so permit me to merrily elaborate for you: New Year's Eve is the Single, Childfree Person's Holiday. We like to get all dressed up in our attention-seeking finery, maybe put on a silly hat, wander around from pub to pub for a pint and someone to aggressively make-out with, sing badly and cheer obnoxiously when midnight hits, then pick a partner at random to fuck in the New Year so that we may be blessed by the gods of sex for the upcoming fucks we shall have in 2014. I've been working overtime so a lot of rich fucks can parade their pretty, pretty vintage cars in front of millions of people on New Year's Day.  _ We _ worked extra hard to ensure our New Year's Eve would be free from all obligation. My beloved sister, who I treasure more than any living soul on this planet, is finally of an age where I will not be hauled off by the cops if I leave her at home with a can of Spaghetti-O’s and a can opener while I party the night away." He points a wrench at Levi empathetically. "New Year's Eve is  _ my _ fucking holiday and you will not take it from me."

Levi recognizes when he has been beaten, and he stays down, trying to think of another way out.

"You think Isabel would watch the boys?"

"Not even for one hundred dollars and an extra large pizza."

* * *

"Okay, Farlan sucks. We have the boys."

"That's alright," Erwin says congenially, totally unphased at the prospect of having two little boys under the same roof as them. 

"Meaning if you've got fucking on the brain, you're going to have to  _ really _ coax me into it, because I don't fuck under the same roof as my kid. Anymore."

"Anymore?"

"I did when Farlan and I were together, but one night, my sweet, innocent child toddled into our room during a most inopportune moment, crying hysterically because he had a bad dream. To this day, I'm convinced the bad dream was caused by whatever horrendous noises we were making. I've refused to fuck under the same roof as my kid since."

"Does Eren remember?"

"No, but that's not the point;  _ I _ remember and it scarred  _ me!" _

"I do have a lock on my bedroom door, you know."

"OK, that takes care of the barging in. What about sound? Like the song, Smith, voices carry."

Erwin makes a rare noise of exasperation. "Well, I will just have to gag you then, won't I?"

Partially horrified and partially aroused, Levi takes a moment to process that proposal before abruptly replying, "You shameless freak, this is Christmas Eve and you're bringing up kinky bedroom shit?"

"Santa is all about his naughty list, you know."

"I'm hanging up now, Smith." Levi says, and just before making good on that statement he hears Erwin's boisterous laughter cut off by the sharp dial tone ringing in his ears. "That man, swear to god."

Not five minutes after Levi hung up does the phone ring again. This time, Eren picks it up in the kitchen.  
  


"Hello?" 

"Eren. It's Erwin, Armin's dad."

"Hi! Want me to get my dad-"

"No, no," Erwin replies in an urgent whisper. "I need to talk to you really quickly. Are you free to talk, or is your dad within earshot?"

"No," Eren replies in a similar whisper. "He's in the bathroom."

"Great. I'm just beginning to finalize his birthday present, but I have a quick question..."

* * *

"Did you hang up your stocking?" Levi asks as he pulls back the covers of his neatly made bed and rearranges pillows and stuffed animals Even brought to join him.

"Yes, daddy," Eren says as he gently squeezes the toothpaste onto his toothbrush. 

"Did you take whatever you need for the night out of your bedroom so Aunt Isabel isn't going to be disturbed?"

"Yes, daddy," Eren says as he runs a quick stream of water over the toothpaste laden bristles. 

"Did you leave cookies and milk out for Santa?"

"You mean you?" Eren inquires with sharp look of suspicion, daring Levi to denounce the truth. 

"Yes, but remember for the purposes of humoring the nanny, you left them for Santa."

"I left mincemeat pies, because that's what Sasha says Santa likes best." Eren declares before beginning to vigorously brush his teeth, making sure to shine the half tooth that has filled the gap where he lost his last baby tooth that summer. 

Levi shakes his head with a soft sigh, wondering if the nanny plans to shimmy down the chimney and stick all of Eren's presents under the tree herself. Once Eren passes the cleanliness test of washed ears, hands, face, and teeth, Levi permits the little boy to join him in bed as per their Christmas Eve tradition of bunking together and watching their favorite Christmas specials.    
  


_ Why do I have the sneaking feeling this might be the last year we're going to do this? _ Levi asks himself as he tightens his arm around Eren's shoulders. Eren is too engrossed in Vinton's Claymation Christmas to note his father's mood, but he leans a little closer regardless. Spying his phone on the bedside table, Levi uses his free hand to grab it and quickly text Farlan, who is busy wrapping presents in the garage. A carry-over from the days Eren still believed in Santa Claus, Levi learned a long time ago that the only time to wrap and place presents under the tree without the chance of Eren caving in to impulses is Christmas Eve. 

"Eren," Levi begins conversationally. "We're going to have a sleepover on New Year's Eve over at Erwin and Armin's house."

"We are?" Eren asks with confusion, as this is the first he has heard of any such plans. He doesn't recall Armin mentioning anything. "As in, you and me?"

"Yes," Levi confirms, feeling mortification at having to even have this conversation with his son. He has never longed for the time when he could just pick Eren up and take him wherever with no explanation or questions harder than this moment! 

"Will I still sleep in Armin's room?"

"Yes," Levi says in his increasingly strained voice, feeling squeamish and uncomfortable where this conversation is heading.  _ Maybe I ought to cancel the whole thing. _

"Where will you sleep?" 

"Well. I'll stay in Erwin's room." _ Unless I die of humiliation first. _

Eren opened his mouth to ask a follow up question when a sudden realization dawns on his face, redirecting his train of thought. He gasps dramatically before crying out, "But what about the kitties!"

"What about them?" Levi asks, releasing a large drawn breath he unconsciously held in his lungs.

"We can't leave them!" Eren insists, wild eyed with worry as he stares pointedly at Scuttles, sleeping peacefully on the towel atop Levi's foot locker. "They've never been without us, they'll miss us!"

"Eren, they'll be okay," Levi insists calmly, rubbing his son's back. "It's just one night." Will it only be just one night, though? Or the first of many one nights?

"No!" Eren shouts, sitting upright. "They'll worry and cry for us all night long. They don't like when we're away. Who will feed them in the morning? What about fresh water? We have to lock the cat door so they don't go outside and get eaten by coyotes! They like to snuggle with us at night!"

"Eren, you sleep over Armin's house and the cats are just fine."

"But you're here! If we're both sleeping over, they won't know what to do!" Eren clutches at his cheeks and pulls the skin down, exposing the red and white under eyes. "And New Year's Eve! There's fireworks! Scoots is terrified of fireworks! He hides under my bed and then cuddles with me all night long! What'll he do now?"

"They'll be okay; I'll think of something," Levi affirms, but his own doubts are written on his face. He cannot deny having similar concerns and guilt over leaving their precious pets. Levi has come home late, true, even close to dawn, but someone was always here watching Eren and taking care of any issues that might arise. Perhaps he can talk Farlan into staying…? No.  _ That won't do. He'll just bring some rando over to have sex with,  _ Levi concludes with an inward sigh. Isabel? Maybe, but he cannot count on it and should not have to obligate her. 

Farlan leaps in the doorway of Levi's bedroom, armed with a point-and-shoot camera. Levi gives a start, nearly forgetting he had texted his friend before broaching the sleepover topic with Eren. Farlan successfully diffuses all previous tension and worry as he shouts,

"Say, gimme presents!" 

"Gimme presents!" Eren cries obediently, smiling toothily for the surprise picture. Once snapped, Eren goes back to watching his claymation holiday special. Levi kisses the top of his head and eyes Farlan, mouthing his gratitude with a silent,  _ Thank you _ .  
  
Farlan gives his best friend a thumbs up before slipping out to finish wrapping presents, knowing once Eren is asleep, Levi will join him to place the presents underneath the tree.

* * *

"Hey, ducks," Erwin says as Armin walks past the library. Armin, in his Doctor Who pajamas, stops and enters. "Finish up with Marman?"

"Oui," Armin replies, to sleepy to care he isn't speaking English. His father's rough and tumble French is out of practice anyway. 

"How is her Christmas morning going?"

Shuffling over to his dad, Armin wedges his skinny frame into the leather arm chair, making Erwin press close against the pintucked leather arm. In a sleepy mix of English and French, Armin explains that his mother is making a pot of hot chocolate and helping her mother with breakfast before they open presents. But she opened his present on her Christmas Eve and thanked him for the flavored olive oils and stained glass earrings he picked out for her on a weekend trip to Los Olivos. With a yawn indicating he is too exhausted to continue that string of conversation, Armin nods agreeably. Erwin puts his arm around his son and hugs him close.

"Christmas is strange without Nonny," Armin says of his grandmother.

"I know. We'll celebrate with her next year."

"What about Eren and his dad? Will they spend Christmas with us, too, next year?"

"They might," Erwin says, giving a slight inhale of the soft pillowy down of Armin's hair. His heart is full of paternal love; he wants to bottle up this moment forever. "I don't know what the future will hold for us."

"But you  _ want _ to spend Christmas with them next year, too, Poppa?"

"Yes," Erwin reveals, unable to resist a small smile on his lips. "I do." He looks down at his son. "What about you?"

"Yes," Armin replies soberly. "But..." He glances at his father, whose face is so serene that Armin hesitates. When Erwin finally notices that Armin has not finished his thought, the single father raises his eyebrows curiously.

"Hmm? But what?"

"But...we should go to Nonny's next year," Armin says with a small smile.  
  
"Alright, ducks. I'm sure Nonny will like that very much." Erwin kisses Armin's head again before sighing in contentment. Armin snuggles closer to his poppa, determined to enjoy the simple pleasure of being just the two of them.

* * *

"Christmas! Christmas! Christmas!" Eren chants as he eagerly bounces up and down his daddy's bed. From underneath the covers a rumbling warning groan echoes. "Daddy, get up, it's your birthday! And Christmas!"

"You're gonna break my bed," Levi croaked, his voice rough and ragged from sleep. "Go bug Isabel."

Eren hops off the bed and runs down the hall, chanting, "Wake up! It's Christmas! It's Christmas!"

He finds his honorary aunt on her stomach, half on his bed, half dangling with her right hand on the floor. Eren is too excited to mind the pool of drool that has gathered on his pillow. He gives her a shake.

"Auntie Isabel, it's Christmas! Let's open presents!"

She snorts violently and flails to sudden alertness. "Huh? What?"

"Christmas!"

"Okay. I'll be right out," Isabel says with a lion of a yawn. She sits up and stretches. Eren's enthusiasm for the holidays is infectious as Isabel soon finds herself jittery with anticipation as to what can be under the tree waiting for her. 

Levi finally rolls out of bed and shuffles into the living room right as Farlan cries out in agony.

"Eren, you're not a baby anymore, get off of Uncle Farlan's balls!"

"Eren." Levi snaps as he bypasses them with a warning scowl in his eyes, though not as effective before his morning tea. 

"Sorry," Eren apologizes meekly as he sinks to the floor and crawls over to the Christmas tree to arrange the presents.

Once the kettle is on, Levi blinks until he is awake enough to prepare tea. Knowing better than to rush his father, Eren patiently waits - albeit poorly - for Levi to brew his tea and join them in the living room. Certain morning rituals acknowledge no holidays, and tea is the topmost as far as Levi is concerned. Once his tea is sufficiently brewed and the leaves in the miniature compost bin, Levi sighs in resignation and heads back to the early morning festivities. 

"Do you like your gifts, daddy?" Eren asks for the third time as Levi quietly admires the clock made from an old LP of The Drifters.    
"Yes, little monster, I love them," Levi replies before looking up to smile at his son. He knows that Erwin must have assisted Eren somehow; there is no way the boy would have been able to put together all of these ingenious gifts by himself. Coasters with his favorite X-Men heroes hand applied to their surfaces, a leather cuff with "Badass" carved into it, and a vintage record turned clock. "I'll hang this clock up in the kitchen."   
Farlan chuckles under his breath as he admires the gifts from the Smith clan to Levi: a smokey eyeshadow palette and Sephora gift card from Erwin, and a familiar character shape adult onesie.

"The hell is that?"

"They're called kigurumi," Levi grouces unhappily, holding the mostly black adult pajama with the very tips of his fingers. "Some weird Japanese thing Armin is really into, apparently."

Farlan picks up the gifts from Erwin, examining them as he sasses, "You're gonna have to wear it tonight to spare Armin's feelings."

"The hell I will," Levi grumbles.

"What are you going to do with a five-hundred dollar giftcard to Sephora?" Farlan asks under his breath as he hands Levi back his gift.

"Buy a fuck ton of eyeliner and nail polish, I guess," Levi says with a smirk. He cannot believe Erwin's generosity; it's staggering and mildly worrisome to Levi that his boyfriend can toss half a grand towards makeup for somebody else. A small part of him wants to reject the gift, or quietly cash it in and slip the money back into Moneybags Smiths' wallet. Realistically, Levi knows this will cause more grief than it’s worth. It is Christmas  _ and _ his birthday, after all. 

_ I'll just thank the man and insist for simpler, or at least more economically sound gifts in the future. Gifts that aren't so expensive they turn my stomach into a pile of knots. _

Once every shred of wrapping paper is strewn across the living room floor, presents enough for Scoots and Scuttles as they pounce and roll around in it, Levi announces he is making breakfast.

"Let me do that," Farlan protests. "It's your birthday, you shouldn't have to."

"If I left breakfast to you, we'd be eating brown scrambled eggs and whatever shitty seasonal flavor Pop Tarts you found at the dollar store."

"I thought I would offer just the same," Farlan replies distractedly, too preoccupied with his Black Adder box set, a gift from Levi. 

"How did you make out, Princess Eren?" Levi asks teasingly as he resumes his earlier attempt at breakfast. 

"Great!" Eren declares, wearing his pink dinosaur kigurumi from Armin. "I got two Monster High dolls, a purple NERF Rebelle Agent Bow Blaster and STAR WARS Stratego!"

"Don't shoot the cats with that bow," Levi warns sternly out of habit. Eren would never deliberately hurt their treasured pets, but accidents tend to cling to Eren like a shadow.

"I won't," Eren promises as he rips open the packaging to get at his new toy. Soon enough, Levi is calling his little family to breakfast. Farlan is roused again as he dozed off, and the four of them gather at the kitchen table for a traditional late Christmas breakfast.

"My breakfast is smiling at me," Farlan observes. 

"Mine is judging me," Isabel grouces before stabbing the sunny egg eye, watching the yolk stream down the pancake face satisfactorily. 

"It's so cute!" Eren cries happily, swinging his feet underneath the table. "I love it, thanks, daddy!"

"You're welcome," Levi replies as he sits down with his little family. He peers into the smiling breakfast on his plate, taking a moment to remember his mother, noting that the bitter feeling is finally tinged with sweetness.

* * *

"Joyeux Noël!"

"The hell you call me?" Isabel automatically snaps upon the foreign greeting. 

"Merry Christmas; sorry, Armin insists I brush up on my rusty French so he doesn't lose his. Come in, come in." Erwin stands aside to make way for his guests.

"Is that barbecue I smell?" Isabel asks, perking up as Eren leads the way, pulling his honorary Uncle and Aunt by the hand, with Levi bringing up the rear.

"Hey." A casual swish of his head to relieve his eyes of stray hairs.

"Happy Birthday," Erwin says, leaning down to kiss the other man. "I see you broke into your Christmas gift."

"Had to make myself pretty for my own birthday party," Levi retorts with a toothy grin, running his nails down the back of Erwin's hair. 

"Did you have a nice Christmas morning?" 

"Yeah. Thanks for helping with Eren with his gifts. He told me all about the deal you two struck."

Erwin holds his hands up in innocence. "It was all Eren; I merely facilitated the opportunity for his imagination and craft skills to be explored." 

Levi knows Erwin is downplaying his role, but lets it go. "Whatever the case, I love my gifts. He must have worked hard." 

"His incentive was your happiness," Erwin says, causing a faint blush to rise on Levi's cheeks. The raven haired man takes Erwin by the arm and leads them to find their family.

"Is the food too fancy for you, sis?" Farlan teases under his breath with a nudge as Isabel tears into her third lamb rib. For Levi's birthday lunch, Sasha outdid herself with two racks of lamb, potatoes roasted in garlic oil, gravy, salad and braised parsnips. Not to mention red wine for the adults and a sherry trifle for dessert.

"Shut up; eating," Isabel growls ravenously. Any traces of trepidation over the food were eradicated as soon as Isabel saw the spread in the kitchen. 

"It's too warm for a proper roast," Sasha explains as they dine outside at the patio table. "When I opened me gift last night, I knew I had to switch everything over the smoker. Lovely bab that is, ain't she?" Sasha says, looking over her shoulder at her shiny smoker with a sigh. 

"It's delicious," Levi says, raising his wine glass to her in a half salute. He is not exclusively grateful for the tremendously generous effort she clearly put into this combination holiday/birthday meal, but he is the only one not too preoccupied with chowing down to voice his gratitude.

"Did Father Christmas like his mince pies, Eren?" Sasha asks, all smiles and ignorance.

Eren nods eagerly in response, cleverly shoving a potato in his mouth so as to suppress the guilty smile widening on his face.

"May we watch the _Doctor Who_ Christmas Special now?" Armin practically whines when everyone is slowing down. He swings his legs impatiently underneath the patio table.

"You may watch it tonight with the rest of America," Erwin says. "There's another Christmas special we want to share with our guests."

"I hate holiday movies," Levi groans as they proceed to get up and clear the table. "Except Scrooged. That's a classic." 

"Don't forget Die Hard," Farlan reminds his best friend. "And National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation."

"And Muppet Christmas Carol!" Isabel chimes in. "We watched that one earlier!"

"And Mickey's Christmas Carol!" Eren adds, marching behind his auntie with his plate in his hands.

"Okay, okay, I like a few Christmas movies."

"We always watch Charlie Brown, too," Eren whispers loudly.

After clearing up, Erwin begins to lead them towards the home theatre. 

"Is this one of those long ass black and white flicks?" Farlan asks warily. "If this is  _ It's a Wonderful Life _ kind of length, I think Isabel and I may just as well head out." 

"No, no," Erwin promises as he fires up the projector and takes a USB drive out of his pocket, heading over to the master controls. "Just a few moments of your life, I promise. Have a seat, everyone, make yourselves comfortable while I set this up." 

"Daddy, you sit here," Eren says, leading his father to the center of the gargantuan couch. 

"Did I see a popcorn machine?" Farlan asks, craning his neck.

"How can you even think of eating after that feast?" Isabel groans, clutching her stomach.

"It's a movie; there's always room for popcorn!"

"I thought it's "There's Always room for Jello"?" Levi jests as the lights are extinguished and the projector is lit.

"Jello flavored popcorn, maybe?" 

Levi laughs at his friend’s revolting suggestion. "That's foul, man."

"Powdered process flavor just like theatre popcorn," Farlan says with a shrug. 

"Go for it. Patent it. If people are into watermelon flavored Oreo’s, they are disgusting enough to buy that shit." 

Music suddenly overtakes the room; the gentle waves and a delicate bell lead into a song Levi is as intimate and familiar with as his own name.

"This is Eren," Levi says - only it isn't Levi sitting on the couch, stunned and wide-eyed by what is occurring - but a Levi nearly nine years ago, holding a tiny, freshly born baby. "I'm your daddy, Eren." Levi turns the baby towards himself and beams down at him. "Today is your birthday, beautiful boy." Gently, the man holds the baby against his shoulder, skin to skin as he ever so gently rocks him and begins to sing the John Lennon song that serves as soundtrack to this collection of home movies.   
  


Presently, Levi feels his breath knock out of him as more scenes unfold before his eyes, all precious memories he had thought were forever lost on old phones and cameras he was too sentimental to throw out.

"Look at him, are you getting this?" Levi snickers quietly, the soundtrack lowering in volume, as he holds his son, who is sucking furiously and noisily on his pacifier.

"He's happy," Farlan’s voice says from behind the camera.

"Let me hold the baby!" A petulant third voice demands before being shushed. The scene abruptly cuts to a ten year old Isabel, still sporting red pigtails and many band-aids, scooting back in the chair Levi had been previously occupying, arms poised to receive the infant Levi gracefully sets in them.

Levi holding a squirming and happily babbling Eren, dressed only in a diaper and t-shirt. 

"Here we go," Levi says to the camera before setting Eren down on his bottom then walking across the room. The baby is bewildered, unsure where his father went and begins to sniffle and whimper.

"Dude, don't torture him," says Farlan from behind the camera.

"Eren!" Levi calls from behind the tiny boy, a good twenty feet away. The baby cranes his body around and belts out a screech of delight at finding his daddy again. Eren lets his arms drop, palms to the floor, before he wiggles his way out of a sitting position and onto his hands and knees. He scoots back and forth at first, grunting and laughing, but getting nowhere until he finally puts one hand in front of the other, the mechanics of crawling suddenly making sense as he crawls over to his daddy. 

There are so many; memories even Levi has forgotten: introducing Eren to various cats; singing and rocking him to sleep; taking Eren to his first story time at the local library where a sweet red haired young woman suddenly enters the videos.

"Petra!" present day Eren cries happily. 

As the movies flicker on, the baby on the screen gradually gets older. Eren's first birthday, a fist full of cake in his hand with frosting smeared on his chubby cheeks; propped up on the leather seat of Levi's Harley Davidson, Eren asleep atop a present underneath a modest Christmas tree, and during the same first Christmas, the music slightly lowers to allow sound.

"Come on, baby," Levi coos, on his knees and his arms open as Eren teeters across the width of a battered couch, clinging to to its threadbare cushions. "You can do it, Eren!" The little boy abandons the edge of the couch and takes his first wobbly steps, a determined, earnest look on his little face as he teeters over to his daddy's open arms once more. "You did it, Eren!" Levi yelps joyously, grabbing the baby in his arms and jumping to his feet, his Santa hat falling off his head. The music swells louder, overtaking the videos once more.

This is the point where Levi can no longer hold back the lump in his throat or the prickling sensation at the back of his eyes. He cannot believe that this man had the gall to not only sift through his possessions, but to go in cahoots with someone in his family to obtain these precious objects of redundant technology. _Just who does this man think he is, going through my shit? This infuriating, nosy, stupidly wonderful man!_ There are so many precious moments, Levi is dizzy with emotion as he relives these priceless trinkets of captured time. There had been so much struggle, so much uncertainty and stress in those early years, but one would never know it by these clips alone. They only portray the joy and overwhelming love Levi has for his son.

"Aw, don't cry, Eren," a younger Farlan begs as he bounces a dirt and tear stained Eren, wailing in his arms. Neither uncle or nephew spy the camera yet, but soon Farlan locks eyes with the lens. "Who's that, Eren? Eren, look! Who's that?" He points at the camera. All tears and banshee impressions cease as Eren studies whomever holds the camera. A smile breaks out on the toddler's face. 

"Daddy...." He grins shyly, a small giggle escaping him.

"Who is it, Eren?" 

"Daddy!" Eren exclaims with a 100-watt smile, stretching his arms out. Camera and toddler switch holders as the song closes softly, overtaking the voices of the past once more. The last image is of Levi cuddling Eren close to him as he rocks the toddler to and fro. Fade to black.

"Bro, are you crying?" Isabel teases as the lights come up. Levi did not move quickly enough in his lame attempt at removing traces of his tears.

"Like a little bitch," Levi sniffles and chuckles simultaneously. 

"Surprise!" Eren cries gleefully, revealing his helping hands. 

"You little sneak," Levi chastises lightly, unable to hide his grin. "Forget gymnastics, you ought to be a cat burgler."

"Or a spy," Erwin chimes in. "He kept it a secret from you, too."

"You're one to talk!" Levi snaps comically. "I just...can't believe you right now." 

"Let's go have some birthday cake." Sasha announces. "Boys, help set the table. I'll also need help with the cake." She looks pointedly at Farlan, who grabs his sister and clears the room so Erwin and Levi can have a moment. 

“Did you see me, Sasha?” Eren says as he exits. “I was such a cute baby!”

"Are you truly upset with me?" Erwin asks, sitting down next to Levi and putting a tentative arm around the slighter man. 

"Yes!" Levi shouts, giving Erwin a jolt, before his unconventional lopsided and tight grin reappears. "No. Not really. I love it so much. I want to watch it every day, but I think my heart would burst into a million pieces."

“We can’t have that,” Erwin chides, running a gentle knuckle up Levi’s cheek to catch a lingering damp spot.

"I can’t believe Eren helped you."

"He was the perfect accomplice."

"He's rarely able to keep secrets from me; I hadn't a clue this whole time. Maybe if I hadn't been so preoccupied with work I'd have noticed. But the fact that he slipped by me means I'm going to have to watch my ass in the future."

"Now, now," Erwin chides as he leads the way towards the dining room where cake and off-key singing surely await them. He hand is at the small of Levi's back. "No need to break out the polygraph tests. Yet."

After birthday cake, Levi's friends predictably depart to settle back at home. Deeming Levi's birthday celebrations to be concluded, Armin reigns in Christmas again and directs his everyone to the family room where they cuddle up together on the large, deeply seated and comfortable couch to watch the Doctor Who Christmas Special. Levi finds himself pulled into it, but all of the excitement of the day has worn out his son and Eren is fast asleep by the time the end credits are rolling. 

"I suppose I ought to take that car off your hands," Levi sighs as he peers down at Eren, sprawled and twisted like a feline across his and Erwin's laps. 

"Keys are on the hook by the computer," Erwin says softly as he carefully maneuvers out from under the eight-year-old's body like a very precarious game of JENGA.

"Goodnight, Armin," Levi says as he hoists Eren up in his arms. Armin, cuddled up on the rug with a big fuzzy blanket, turns on his back and waves sleepily at the other parent.

"Do you like your kigurumi, Levi?" Armin asks in a hushed whisper. Levi quickly bites his tongue as he forces himself to swallow the natural contentious reply. He forces a tight smile on and nods.

"It's cute."

"Eren helped me pick it out. He said you love that character." Armin shares before adding, "You should wear it when you and Eren sleepover. They are perfect for slumber parties."

Despite the internal screaming, Levi, ever the responsible parent, nods again and says before he can stop himself, "Sounds great."

_ Damn it! _

"I'm sorry I won't see much of you this week," Levi apologizes as Erwin walks them to the borrowed vehicle. "Isabel will take Eren a couple of days this week so you and Armin can have some quality time before you take off."

"That's very thoughtful," Erwin says as he opens the back passengers door for Levi. "I am sorry we're missing one another, but I have New Year's Eve to look forward to."

"Yes, you do." Levi agrees as he buckles his son in. Eren merely flops onto his side and stays stubbornly asleep. Levi looks up at his boyfriend, who is looking rather pleased with himself still.

"You have this ridiculous expression on your face," Levi sassily comments. "Like you're an evil mastermind and we're all helpless to your awesome powers."

"Oh, I don't know about that," Erwin says, rocking on the balls of his feet, giddiness lingering from having successfully surprised Levi earlier. "You are the least helpless person I have ever met, Levi Ackerman."

Levi wraps a hand around Erwin's ludicrous reindeer tie and yanks him downward for a kiss.

"And don't you fucking forget it."

* * *

  
  


Levi did not exaggerate in the least when he warned Erwin about seeing very little of him. Had Erwin possessed a single moment to breathe, he would feel a touch put out, but preparation for his upcoming press tour keeps him holed up in his office. Between Sasha and Isabel, Armin and Eren are cared for but see their respective fathers scantly. Finally, New Year's Eve arrives, and with it, an exhausted but merry Levi promptly at eight pm with a duffle bag in one hand and a cat carrier in the other, wearing his Badtz Maru kigurumi. 

"I hope you're not opposed to a couple of pussy's joining us tonight, Smith."

Bewildered by the sight before him, Erwin cannot think of a remark swiftly enough before Levi is swooping inside. 

"Uhm,"

"Listen. When I told Eren we were going to sleep over, he flipped out over the cats being alone. Normally, I'd make him just suck it up, but when he brought up the fact that it's New Year's Eve and there will be fireworks everywhere, he had a damn point. For the kid's peace of mind, for the cats' nerves and for my sanity, this is really the easiest answer. They're catbox trained, and I have that in the car. Eren will clean up after them and they'll sleep in any room you designate, although I vote with the kids since it goes along with that peace of mind business and Armin likes the cats anyway. This wouldn't be an issue if Farlan hadn't refused to watch Eren, so let's just look beyond my rudeness and blame him." Levi is breathless after his whirlwind speech, which mildly amuses Erwin. "Plus, your kid cornered me into wearing this damn Badtz Maru onesie and you owe me big time for it since he's a minor and cannot legally be held responsible for his actions."

"Is that all?" Erwin asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Yup."

"Then Scoots and Scuttles are welcome." 

"Thanks," Levi replies quietly with a soft smile, raising up on the balls of his feet to give Erwin a peck. 

"You look incredibly adorable, Badtz."

"Shut up," Levi hisses. "I am doing this for our sons."

"And I appreciate the sacrifice of dignity on behalf of my son's bizarre obsession with kigurumi."

After depositing the cats with two extremely delighted boys playing upstairs, receiving many compliments on his attire, and depositing his bag in Erwin's room, Levi heads downstairs to rejoin Erwin, who reheated a plate of dinner featuring savory baked goods from the locally famous Cuban deli, Portos.

"No nanny tonight?" Levi asks as he sits at the kitchen table, enjoying being waited on. 

"On New Year’s Eve? I'm not that cruel," Erwin says with a laugh. 

"Should we get up early and go to the Parade?" Erwin inquires as they settle on the couch, one beefy arm thrown across Levi's shoulders as the shorter man unceremoniously picks up a potato ball with his hands.

"I won't begrudge you if you decide to go, but fuck if I'm going to get up early on my first day off."

"You're right, of course. Maybe I will take the boys then and let you sleep in."

Levi gives an inward start as he remembers he will be sleeping in Erwin's bed with him tonight; for the  _ whole night!  _ Years of practice and a well placed ham and cheese croqueta mask any change in his expression as he coolly moves on. 

"I wouldn't complain for the extra sleep. Eren is an early bird during all the wrong times of the year."

"Sluggish during the school year and wakes at the crack of dawn during holidays?"

"There is a reason why I call him my little monster."

"Then it's settled. Armin will be pleased we're doing local activities."

"And I will be pleased to have a bed larger than a breadbasket all to myself."

"Yeah, your bed is..."

"Shut up, Smith," Levi advises, knowing perfectly well how small and lumpy his bed is. 

"Daddy!" Eren calls from somewhere in the cavernous house. "Where are you?"

"In here," Levi calls backs with half of his mouth full. He glances apologetically at Erwin and covers his mouth before mumbling, "Sorry."

"I don't mind," Erwin says, finding Levi's uncouth manners refreshingly endearing. In a slightly lower voice, Erwin confesses, "I never expected to have such a solemn little boy, so a little noise around here is nice."

"Happy New Year!" Eren cries, throwing his pink dinosaur covered hands in the air as he bounds into the family room and tumbles onto the couch, snuggling up on the other side of Levi. Armin slowly trails behind in his blue alpaca kigurumi, shuffling across the hardwood floor, distracted by the LEGO ship in his hands.

"Happy New Year, little monster," Levi grins. 

"Thank you for letting Scoots and Scuttles spend the night, too, Erwin," Eren says, remembering his manners. 

"They are very welcome."

"I've always wanted a cat," Armin remarks quietly with a smile playing on his lips. 

"Armin and me are gonna stay up until midnight so we can see 2014 when it happens," Eren informs his father and Erwin. "Maybe we'll stay up even later."

"Sure," Levi says agreeably, confident his son will knock out well before midnight. "Erwin is going to get you and Armin up early and take you to the Rose Parade."

"Really?!" Armin cries, suddenly taking an interest in the conversation. 

"Sure, if you like," Erwin confirms with a nod. 

"Aren't you going, dad?" Eren asks. 

"No way; I need sleep." Levi yawns dramatically to get his point across. "Daddy has been working his ass off to get those nice, vintage cars ready for tomorrow."

"Is Daddy so tired that he can't enjoy some champagne at midnight?" Erwin inquires. 

"I have to wait until then?" Levi says with a gentle pout. It is not an expression he displays for Erwin, well, ever, so the blond man is taken by delightful surprise and laughs despite himself.

"I have mulled wine, if you like." Erwin offers, already getting up and taking Levi's empty dinner plate. 

"Come on, Eren," Armin says quietly, taking Eren's hand. "Let's go play a video game so we don't fall asleep too early."

"Alright," Eren agrees, allowing himself to be led to the theatre where Armin has his game consoles hooked up.

"I feel a touch ridiculous drinking mulled wine when it's only in the fifties outside," Erwin admits as he returns to the family room and hands Levi a mug of hot, spiced wine before situating himself back on the couch. 

"You'll acclimate soon enough," Levi says confidently. "This time next year, you'll be bitching about the freezing cold and wearing a down feather jacket as soon as the temperature hits sixty-five." Levi snuggles his back against Erwin's side and draws his knees up to get cozier as he takes his first sip of the wine. "Besides. You can't possibly feel as ridiculous as I do; drinking alcohol wearing pajamas in the shape of a child's cartoon character." 

Erwin chortles in appreciation of Levi's astute observation and self-deprecation. 

"When do you take off?" Levi inquires. 

"The fourth."

"Well, I have the rest of Eren's vacation off, so I'll drive you to the airport."

"That isn't necessary; I don't want you to go to-"

"I never said it was necessary," Levi interrupts. "I  _ want  _ to drive you."

Erwin is touched by the gesture and agrees. He wraps his arm around Levi's shoulder, his hand dangling at the shorter man's collarbone, fingertips tracing the outline of bone under fair skin. As they sit there, enjoying each other's company, Erwin's thoughts cannot help but wander to the fuzzy, warm area that exists purely when he thinks of Levi. 

_ He makes me feel simultaneously twitterpated and completely at ease, _ Erwin muses as his fingers idly dance through the ends of Levi's jet black hair, lightly scratching the freshly shorn undercut.  _ I have not fallen this hard, this fast for someone in...ever. _ Erwin gives a subtle start at the self-revelation.  _ Maybe I ought to slow things down a bit? _ The very idea is crushingly depressing to him.  _ I don't want to slow this momentum; I want to keep moving forward with Levi. Maybe not at warp speed; no matter how beguiled I feel, I am not a lovestruck teenager. We are two grown men with our own careers, kids, homes and lives...why not weave them together? _

Inspired by his feelings and a mug of warming mulled wine, Erwin gingerly picks up his phone and angles the lens to center on the back of Levi's head along with his right ear, his rook, auricle and lobe piercings on full display. 

"May I post this to Instagram?" Erwin asks, showing Levi the photo. 

Levi studies the photo just long enough to appreciate the shot and deduce that it isn't hideous or revealing. 

"Sure. Just don't give out my name or Google earth me or make any mention of me dressed up as Badtz Maru."

"Have no fear, Badtz," Erwin replies, resisting a snort at the sharp side eye Levi shoots him for the nickname. "Skynet will not discover your whereabouts. I don't  _ geotag _ on my personal phone, just the work one."

"You have two phones?" Levi scoffs with clear disgust in his voice.

"One for business, and one for pleasure."

Levi groans in repulsion at Erwin's increasingly ill attempts at humor. Not that he and Farlan are any better, but there is something unadulteratedly dorky about Erwin's jokes. 

After briefly editing the snapshot to its optimal quality, Erwin posts the photo with the caption:

**Can't wait to see what 2014 has in store for us.**

_**#NewYearsEve #NYE2013 #Goodbye2013 #Hello2014 #MidnightKiss** _


	12. Destination Unknown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Life is so strange when you don't know  
> How can you tell where you're going to  
> You can't be sure of any situation  
> Something could change and then you won't know
> 
> Ask yourself  
> Where do we go from here  
> It seems so all to near  
> Just as far beyond as I can see  
> I still don't know what this all means to me'
> 
> \- Missing Persons (Destination Unknown)

"I've gotten three calls about that Instagram photo, you know," Hitch informs Erwin the evening before he is set to depart on a two-week press tour promoting the latest Freedom Soundware product. It is the largest and most public press-tour Erwin has ever embarked on, with guest spots on three international chat shows. Having only ever been on the tech or business segments of regional programs, Erwin is still boggled that his hot-shot publicist was able to secure these major interviews. With a portion of the sales going to charity, though, Erwin feels simultaneously responsible and confident.

"What photo?" Erwin asks, going over the itinerary Hitch printed out. He is doing his best to focus, but with the prospect of being away from Armin and Levi for two weeks, Erwin is eager to spend what little free time remains with his loved ones.

"The one you posted on New Year's Eve," Hitch says with exasperation, getting ready to pick a fight when the sound of rapidly approaching footsteps interrupts her escalating train of thought. "Ah, speak of the devil. You must be Levi."

Levi pauses in the archway between the dining room and kitchen and glares at this blonde woman in her tight skirt and stilettos. She seems alarmingly young to be a publicist, but Levi is never sure how old women look, anyway.

"Hitch Dreyfuss," She introduces, sticking out her hand for Levi to shake. He does reluctantly, with a stern silence that would have turned awkward if Hitch cared.

"The kids are hungry and dinner is ready, Erwin," Levi says, ignoring the woman's introduction.

"Are we done here?" Erwin asks, pinching the bridge of his nose and squeezing his eyes shut to blink away the dryness. He already went over most of these notes with Ilse via Skype earlier that morning before she caught her plane to London, where Erwin and Hitch will be meeting her very shortly.

"Yes, yes," HItch huffs with impatience, gathering all of her notes into the well organized Filofax she carries with her. "Go, shoo; scamper off to your Norman Rockwell dinner with the kiddies." She closes her satchel and looks from Levi to Erwin. "I'll meet you at the Virgin Atlantic ticket counter at eleven o'clock tomorrow morning." Her disapproval over Levi driving Erwin to the airport is evident, but both men ignore her.

"Goodnight, Hitch," Erwin says, walking her to the front door.

"Nighty night," she replies in a sing-song voice as she places her thoroughly redundant Tiffany shades over her sharp eyes. "Be sure to get a good night's rest, Erwin."

"That's the beauty of transcontinental flights, Hitch; I can always sleep on the plane."

Dinner is jovial enough, with the boys laughing about their day at the Aquarium, impersonating all of the funny fish faces for Erwin's benefit as he had to miss out. Levi enjoyed his time with the boys alone, but he will have both of them all to himself over the next two weeks. He is withdrawn and pensive at dinner, fingering the stem of his wine glass as his attention drifts off, missing all of the worried looks Erwin casts his way from the other end of the table.

* * *

"Poppa, you should have been there," Armin gently scolds, idly stabbing at the half-eaten lasagna on his plate. "I want to show you all of the amoeba and jellyfish."

"I know, ducks, I'm so sorry I missed out. We'll go when I get back, okay?" It pains Erwin to see his son disappointed in him, that a best friend cannot compensate for his presence; that he must give his only son a surrogate father for the time he is away. Erwin glances up at Levi again, still lost in his thoughts. Erwin knows he owes Levi so much more than a three week absence with only promises of time to be made up, an ever growing I.O.U. pile; how can he ever illustrate the emotions, the overflowing gratitude and admiration he has for this infuriatingly perfect father, hidden behind a fine veneer of surly reservation? It isn't merely that Levi is stepping up to graciously care for his son, nor that he offered up his own desire to bridge their families together, but that he does it all with an effortless nonchalance.   
  
_This is it,_ Erwin suddenly realizes with a start. This is what I want.  
  
Now, how to endeavor to deserve and maintain such a life...that will take work.

"I'm sorry your routine is being uprooted while I'm away, ducks," Erwin apologizes as he tucks in his son that evening. "I know Sasha usually takes care of you when I'm gone, but her new quarter at school is going to be extra difficult. She has to focus so she can get good marks like you."

"That's alright, Poppa," Armin reassures his father with a wide yawn. It was past his usual bedtime as his Poppa took him out for ice cream after Levi and Eren went home. "I think it will be fun to live with Eren and his dad for a while."

"You sure it isn't just the cats you're looking forward to?" Erwin jests, poking Armin playfully in the belly, underarms and under his chin; all the ticklish places to elicit a squeak of laughter. "I almost wonder if Eren is your best friend...or Scoots and Scuttles."

"They are a lovely bonus," Armin admits between sleepy giggles.

"I really am sorry I have to be away, ducks."

"It's alright," Armin reassures his father, playing idly with the hem of Erwin's sleeve. "It's important."

"Very important. We're raising money for children so they can go to school no matter where they live."

"Doesn't everyone go to school?" Armin asks, naive to the cruel realities of the world. Erwin shakes his head sadly at his son, knowing that it is nearly time for Armin to be more aware of social issues.

"No, Armin. Many children live in areas of the world where school is not an option, or they have to help their family earn an income so they can all eat, or it is too dangerous because of war and crime. School is a luxury for many children, so a certain percentage of the sales from this new product is going directly to a faction of Freedom Humanities, the charity I helped create with Director Hange and some business friends of mine." He stands up and pulls the covers up to Armin's chin before turning on the nightlight, watching the stars slowly scintillate across the ceiling. "Your Poppa makes a lot of money at his job, and when someone makes a lot of money and has privilege, they have a responsibility to help other people who are not as fortunate."

"Yes, like the family we adopt every year to buy toys and clothes for at Christmastime."

"Yes, just like that." Erwin crouches down to brush back Armin's fringe and kiss his forehead and cheek. "But there will always be more people to help, all year 'round."

Armin knows his father helps people somehow, raising money for causes he does not fully comprehend yet. The nine year old is beginning to understand, though, that helping others goes beyond the purchasing of material items at the holidays.

"If you have to go," Armin informs his Poppa, "I'm glad it's to help people."

"We'll talk more in the morning at breakfast."

"Just the two of us?" Armin inquires warily.

"Of course, ducks. Goodnight."

Pleased beyond words, Armin nestles down against his pillow and closes his eyes. "Goodnight, Poppa."

* * *

Levi eyeballs the clock above the arch that leads down the hall. Only six-thirty. He has plenty of time to eat dinner and get ready before heading over to Erwin’s house. It isn't that Levi can't go without sex for the three weeks Erwin will be away on a business trip; he has certainly gone quite a bit longer than that, and then some. It is sudden abstinence after growing accustomed to a regular and robust sex life that Levi dreads. Isabel, saint and desperate enough for cash to forgo an evening with friends, is set to babysit Eren and tuck him in for the night so daddy can get some dick. Meeting after curfew like this, as it is, adds a certain spice to their trysts that Levi is embarrassed to admit even to himself. It is such an adult thing to get off on - and Levi never fails to surprise himself every time he remembers he is, in fact, the adult.

“Come and get it, little monster,” Levi calls as he dishes up his homemade hamburger helper style dinner. He is not an epicurean like Sasha, Armin’s nanny who moonlights as a culinary arts student, but he has taken what precious few economical filler recipes his mother mastered and spun them into his own over the years; basking in a certain kind of pride that his skill set focuses on the culinary finery of the poor, white-ish trash.

Eren stampedes into the kitchen, arms raised and hands imitating claws as he is wearing his pink dinosaur kigurumi gifted from Armin over the holidays.

“Meeeeeeeaaaat!” Eren demands, stomping towards his chair like Godzilla over Tokyo.

“Sit down,” Levi commands nonchalantly, waiting until his son is seated before setting down his plate.

Eren grabs his fork and pokes suspiciously at the salad on his plate. “What’s this green stuff?”

“Growing dinosaurs have to eat their salad, too,” Levi says, sitting across from Eren at their Formica kitchen table. Not long after they dig in, Levi hears his phone buzz from the counter. Normally he does not hold such attachment to his mobile, but the fear Isabel may cancel or otherwise cock block him drives him to grab it and check the text.

 **::Erwin::** I’m going to fuck you so hard tonight.

Pursing his lips as he wills the red he senses rises in his face to disappear, Levi quickly darkens the phone and turns it face down on the table. Once he drinks some water and clears his head, convincing himself that of course Eren did not see such a salacious text, Levi is able to fire back a reply.

 **::Levi::** Damn right.

Levi does not place the phone down for a moment before it is buzzing again.

 **::Erwin::** you better be famished because you're eating my USDA prime-grade ass for dinner tonight.

Levi bites his lip, simultaneously hating and adoring that man. Making sure Eren is engrossed in his food, Levi shoots off another text.

 **::Levi::** Only if it comes with a side of cock.

 **::Erwin::** Oh, you'll get that, too. To the root.  
  


Clenching his fist before quickly unclenching it again, Levi tries to think of a dirty enough reply, but a giggle from Eren watching the cats play fight brings all perverse thoughts to a grinding halt.

 **::Levi::** My baby is in this room, you filthy fuck.

 **::Erwin::** I'm going to fuck you filthy, baby.

 **::Levi::** ERWIN

 **::Erwin::** 9:30 cannot come soon enough.

 **::Levi::** Or you.

 **::Erwin::** >:)  
  


Rolling his eyes in amusement, Levi ceases to text his boyfriend and let him sweat it out until they can be together.

After dinner, Levi leaves the dishes to Eren as he sits at an old desk he pulled out of a dumpster that he uses as a makeshift vanity, fixing up his deep cobalt blue nails with varnish. Make up is not something Levi considers himself heavily drawn to overall, but nail polish and an ever-growing collection of eyeliner have been the added boost of vanity Levi has enjoyed since high school. Of course, being from a painfully small, backwater mountain town means he could only wear it around the apartment and never outside. Not even within the safety of the motorcycle gang his uncle ran. Especially not among them.

"Where are you going?" Eren asks, hanging by the door, his well loved Mickey Mouse dangling upside down as Eren holds him by one foot.

"I am going to have a date with Erwin tonight," Levi explains, seeing no reason to hide behind a falsehood.

"But it's almost bedtime." Eren argues.

"It's almost your bedtime," Levi reminds him, eyeing Eren in the mirror. "I’m a grown up and I can stay up as late as I like."

"But why are you going out so late?"

"Because Erwin is going away on a business trip tomorrow and I want to spend some time with him."

"And you‘ll miss him." Eren states matter-of-factly.

Levi ruminates over the statement, surprised to find his son to be more astute than he lets on. "Yes, I will," Levi quickly admits, pretending to rummage through his eyeliner collection, trying to find that perfect shade of “fuck me now.”

"Do you love Armin’s Poppa?"

Levi is startled by the question and wastes no time shutting it down. "Go get your pajamas on!"

“I have my pajamas on!” Eren declares before letting out a ferocious roar and stomping down the hallway to chase Scoots and Scuttles, their two black cats. Levi is left reeling in his bedroom from the sudden inquisition and ultimately decides against the addition of eyeliner. It's just going to smear anyway.

Isabel soon arrives, keying Eren up as she hoists the eight-year old into the air and spins around the living room with him, both shrieking and laughing.

“OK, be a good monster for Isabel,” Levi demands as he grabs his leather motorcycle jacket and grey infinity scarf with the black skull print.

“Can I stay up longer? Since it’s Winter break?” Eren asks, pushing the dinosaur hood back from his sweltering face before bounding over to Levi to give him a hug goodbye. Levi takes hold of his son’s chin and squishes his cheeks.

“Yes, but be asleep before I get home or I’m going to turn into a T-Rex and eat you for breakfast, got it?”

Eren giggles at the empty threat. “OK!”

They kiss and hug before Levi waves to Isabel, exaggerating her exhaustion by flopping onto the couch and pretending to be dead. Before he has left the porch, Levi can hear their play and laughter starting up again.

* * *

Despite the ruckus it will cause, Levi mounts his Harley Davidson and revs it up. Let all of those stuffy, right-wing Pasadena snobs hear him roaring down their precious streets, offending their delicate sensibilities from their charming lampposts to their manicured lawns. _That’s right, you WASP-y mother fuckers, one of your own is really one of mine and he is all mine._ Letting all of the neighbors know of Erwin’s nocturnal activities is one of Levi’s truest delights as of late.

Parking his bike directly out front in the stately U-bend driveway, Levi takes care to enter the house quietly as he is unsure if, like his own son, Erwin has yet to put Armin to bed. However, the house is still and dark, save for a light illuminating the sweeping curve of the staircase. His earlier confidence while riding in the open night air ebbs as is often the case when he steps inside such an imposing display of wealth. The class divide between their paychecks are never more abundantly clear than when Levi walks up these stairs. By the time he is outside of Erwin’s bedroom door on the far end of the second floor, Levi is determined to play it cool and distant; a habit he cannot shake.

"I can't stay all night," Levi whispers as Erwin pulls him away from the bedroom door and gently closes it behind him. The Smith house keys Erwin gifted him are still in Levi's fist as Erwin pins him to the wall and presses his body and lips against him, his large hands placed firmly on the backs of Levi’s thighs as he slightly hoists the slighter but no less muscular man up. Levi gently pushes him away and licks his already swollen and pulsing lips. All but a glimmer of his previous irrational insecurities remain after that assertive welcome.

"Hang on, Smith,” Levi demands lowly. “Let me take off my boots and jacket first, okay? I may not have all night, but Isabel doesn't mind holding down the fort for a while, so give me a second to breathe."

Erwin flops back at the end of his bed, lounging back on his palms as he soaks in the rugged loveliness that is his boyfriend.

"Take off the jacket," Erwin says with a wickedly playful note in his voice. "Leave the boots."

* * *

When Levi arrives again with Eren in tow the next morning at the Smith residence, Erwin is in dad mode, no trace of the tyrant Levi received a ferocious fucking from last night. Blissfully, Armin gives zero indication that he inadvertently overheard the sounds of their midnight tryst.

"You ready?" Levi asks, picking up the handle of Erwin's suitcase.

"Yes." He turns to look at his son. "Be a good boy, Armin; mind Sasha and Levi."

"I will, Poppa."

"Have fun during the rest of your vacation this week. Take lots of photos for me."

"Poppa, you're only gone for two and a half weeks."

"I know. I'm just a sentimental old fool. Come here, give your old man a hug and kiss." After exchanging parting affection for one another, Erwin rights himself to see Eren staring up at him curiously, a finger absently in his mouth. Erwin realizes he will miss the little spitfire, too.

"Goodbye, Eren. I expect to hear all about your gymnastics class when I return."

Eren beams at him before suddenly propelling himself at Erwin's midsection, giving the other man a quick but fierce hug before abruptly pulling back and going shy again.

"Bye, bye," Eren mumbles from behind his finger before turning and running into the kitchen. Levi spies the surprise on Armin's face before the little boy catches his own expression and quickly wipes it away.

"Bye, bye, ducks," Erwin says again before picking up his briefcase and carry-on, finally prying himself away from his son.

"Bye, Poppa," Armin calls, louder and in a strangely younger voice than his typically clip and posh speaking voice. Erwin smiles over his shoulder as he follows Levi out the door, closing it behind him.

The drive to the airport is relatively uneventful, with Erwin rambling instructions until Levi feels he is about to explode.

"Armin might get scared at some point, he has a history of nightmares. I just routinely explain to him that nightmares aren't real and we'll try to talk about something else to get his mind off of it before I tuck him back into bed again. He might ask for some water. Best to just keep a cup by his bedside,"

"Smith!" Levi cries suddenly, gripping the wheel until his knuckles turn white. "Believe it or not, I've dealt with a nightmare or two during the near nine years I've been a single parent."

"I'm sorry," Erwin apologizes with a weak smile. "I didn't mean to insult you. Sasha has been the only person I've left Armin with and she's....Well."

"She's what?" Levi asks, curious despite himself.

"She's as close to a _proper_ mother as Armin will ever have. So it's become natural for me to simply leave and I've never had to worry about him."

Levi can appreciate Erwin's position. His previous tension eases with an understanding grin. "I get it, Smith. But you won't have to worry about Armin this time, either."

Erwin reaches over and lays a hand on Levi's shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"I know."

Not having much experience with airports, Levi allows Erwin to direct him to a curbside drop off outside terminal two, where Virgin Atlantic Airways is situated.

“I feel like I’m giving you a quick and dirty brush off,” Levi confesses as he turns of the ignition before exiting to gather Erwin’s suitcase and carry-on. "Engine running, curbside. It's like, Okay, get out, and don't let the door hit your ass on the way out."

“No, no,” Erwin insists reassuringly, taking his luggage from the other man and setting them on the sidewalk. “Traveling has been my normal for a decade now. Now I just have more people to come home to.”

They share a smile, Levi’s cheeks slightly pinking just as Erwin’s carry-on topples over between them. As Levi dips down to recover it, Erwin suddenly blurts out, "I love you, Levi."

Forgetting the suitcase, Levi stands upright, rigid as a pole, pink turning red, flaring across his cheeks before he quickly looks about, checking to see if the busy world around them had suddenly froze as he feels time come to a grinding halt. The people and traffic are still rushing by them, though, totally unaware of this profound moment between them.

"You're truly everything I never knew I wanted in a partner," Erwin continues, rushed in breath but sincere in his earnestness. No trace of the CEO, the cheesy romantic or the dorky dad Levi is accustomed to. This is Erwin at his rawest, Levi realizes, and he gives the man all of his undivided attention. "And before I get on that plane and fly away from you, wishing I could take you and the boys with me, I just had to let you know how utterly in love with you I am." Without further preamble, Erwin pulls Levi into a passionate embrace, the shorter man's arms tightening around the blond's shoulders as they kiss.

Erwin's pain at having to part ways is evident on his face as they nuzzle, his grip on Levi's waist only slightly slacking.

Seamlessly, Erwin dips down and recovers his suitcase, stacking the carry-on on top. "I'll call you once I land."

Levi nods, too gobsmacked to speak.

They part reluctantly, Erwin giving one last caress to Levi's heavily pierced ear, cupping his face before turning and walking into the airport, suitcases in hand rolling behind him. Levi leans against the car for support, unable to form any thoughts or sort out his emotions before a taxi cab is boorishly blaring its horn at him, impatient for his spot at the curb.

"FUCK OFF," Levi screeches, smacking the hood of his car and using his other heavily ringed hand to flip off the cab driver. "I'M HAVING A MOMENT!"

* * *

"Are you sure you have everything, ducks?" Sasha asks for the third time the day after Erwin’s departure. Under most circumstances, Levi would be irritated at the nanny dragging it out, but he empathizes with her position as a primary caregiver. He has never been more than one night without Eren, and knows well enough those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

"Yes, I have everything," Armin insists with the patience of a saint.

"Toothbrush?"

"Yes."

"Library books?"

"Yes."

"School supplies?"

"Yes, Sasha."

"I'm sorry," Sasha replies with a pout, caressing Armin's cheek and brushing his soft yellow hair back. "I've never left you when your dad was out of town."

"I'm not going far," Armin argues, his patience waning ever so slightly. "And I'll only be gone for two weeks."

"I know," she sighs, looking up to meet Levi's eyes. "Call me if you need anything. Any time, day or night. Really. It's no bother."

"Will do," Levi promises, hoisting Armin's travel bag on one shoulder and taking the carry-on size suitcase handle in his hand. "Alright, boys. Time to go home." Eren and Armin each receive a breath-depleting hug from Sasha before being let go long enough to scurry behind Levi.

The first few days are easy enough, with the novelty of Armin's presence in the house sustaining the boys' interest. There is a minor snafu that first morning in discovering Armin's lactose intolerance will not allow a full week of cereal on moo cow milk; easily fixed as Levi refuses to be tripped up by something so minor and adjustable with almond milk and oatmeal. It isn't until the fourth day, after the boys return to school and Eren begins his acrobatic gymnastics, that Levi notices a shift in their odd numbered dynamic.

"May I read here?" Armin asks shyly as Levi washes the evening dishes. The little boy gestures to the Formica kitchen table, a book clutched in his other hand.

"Sure," Levi replies with a shrug. "Is the light in Eren's room not bright enough? Do I need to replace a light bulb?"

"Oh. Erm. I am not sure. Eren is playing in there and I just...thought it would be better to read somewhere else," Armin looks away from Levi before adding, "Where I won't be in the way."

Levi gives a start before he sets down the pot he is scrubbing and peers over his shoulder to look at Armin more intently. "Did Eren tell you to leave him alone?"

"No, no," Armin quickly waves off the notion. "I just...think he would rather be alone."

Levi remains suspicious, but whether his son politely requested some alone time or this is Armin's gentlemanly way of putting some distance between them, Levi is unsure of. He leaves it alone, though, figuring the boys can manage their own affairs until they truly need parental interference.

Erwin laughs off the incident when he speaks with Levi later that evening after the boys are in bed. He wanted to call earlier to say goodnight to Armin, but this is his first opportunity to make a leisure phone call.

"He probably just wanted to hang out with a grown-up," Erwin theorizes. "He’s used to spending most of his time with myself or Sasha. Being around kids in his free time is still new territory for him.”

Levi takes this to heart and pays closer attention to Armin’s body language, making sure to separate the boys for a while after Community Care on the days Eren does not attend his acrobatic gymnastic classes.

“Armin, please help me in the kitchen,” Levi will ask. “Eren, if you’re done homework, go take your bath now. Then we will have dinner and Armin can wash up afterward.”

On the days Eren does have his extra-curricular activity, Levi will take Armin along with him to run errands, or return to the house to prep dinner, or read and unwind. The boys are always happy to see one another after Eren's class and no further bumps present themselves again.  
  
_I am a fucking genius,_ Levi congratulations himself by the end of the first week of Erwin's trip. The boys suspect no ulterior motives from Levi's arrangements, and the strain he had sensed from Armin earlier in the week has all but vanished. _I can do this_ , Levi tells himself every morning as he drives both of the boys to school in a vehicle he would normally never be caught dead in, but compromises for the sake of love _. Is it love? Do I love him? Is it too soon to know? What is love? Christ, did I just blow through a stop sign?_

* * *

Fidgeting as he avoids eye-contact with another parent while waiting for the boys to gather their belongings, Levi digs his hands deep in the pockets of his battered leather jacket and looks down at his boots. _Going to have to give these guys a polish soon._

“Oh, Levi!” The mother coos at him, touching his arm in a gesture of friendship never really bestowed upon him from other Emerson parents. “It’s been such a long time since we saw you at the Parent Guild."

"Huh?" Levi replies curtly, drawing crossed arms closer to his chest. "Oh, yeah. I've been busy."

"I'm sure," she replies, her knowing tone indicating there is some kind of private subtext between them. Levi has no time for these shenanigans and does not pretend to make small talk by rising to whatever lackluster bait she has placed before him.

"There's a parent potluck at the end of the month. You and Erwin should attend."

This catches Levi's attention as he whips a sharp glare at her. It isn't that his relationship is a secret, but Levi does not appreciate a virtual stranger taking liberties of his private life. Just as the woman begins to wilt, they are interrupted by the arrival of Eren and Armin.

"Daddy, we're ready!" Eren calls as he and Armin run over. Levi gives the other parent a lingering withering stare before ushering the boys out to the car.

* * *

“Have you seen any of Handsome McFineass's TV appearances?" Farlan asks during their lunch break the following day at work.

“No,” Levi replies flatly. “You know I don’t have cable.”

“Mmmm. I think you need to check with the nanny and see if she records The Colbert Report and Graham Norton.”

“Why?” Levi asks, recalling the bizarre exchange with the mother from the day before.

Farlan gestures with his sandwich as he talks around the food in his mouth. "In the immortal words of overpriced athletic shoes: Just do it."

"Course I recorded them; this is huge for Erwin, innit?! Not every day you know someone who's been on a chat show." Sasha leads Levi into the family room, picking up the DirectTV remote to access the recorded material.

"Have you watched it? Do you know why Farlan has his panties in a twist over it?"

"Haven't a clue," Sasha confesses. "I been so busy with school I don't know night from day most times. You were lucky to catch me at home tonight, Bab."

A delicious aroma wafts into the family room, stirring Levi's senses as he inhales deeply.

"Are you baking something?"

"Oh, just some homework," Sasha explains dismissively. "First up is Graham Norton show." She hits play and waits to ensure it loads properly before leaving Levi to unravel this mystery by himself, talking as she walks back to the kitchen. "You know, me Auntie Sue truly adores Graham Norton. Swore she saw him on the platform heading towards Teddington. What's he doing on the U, I asks her. Man of that fame and wealth isn't going to bother about with the tube. She didn't want to hear logic, course. Anyway. Give me a shout when it's over an' I'll switch it out to the other programme."

Having not the slightest clue how to operate the overly complicated remote control, Levi impatiently sits through the fluff of the first segment until the guests are finally welcome on the show. A smile creeps up on Levi's face as he watches Erwin appear, dressed to the nines in a fashionable deep ultramarine blue fitted suit. Unsurprisingly, Erwin took his outfit one step further with a shocking magenta and graphite colored geometric neck tie.

"Now, this is your first chat show, is it not, Erwin?" Graham asked of the man.

"Yes, well. It's the first show...of its kind."

Graham feigned being taken aback, and the audience laughed on cue. Erwin back-tracked to explain he was used to exclusively appearing on shows that focus on science, technology and business.

"All that boring stuff."

"Wait," interrupted another guest, a rapper from Essex. "You're not a model or actor?"

"No," Erwin shook his head, modesty coloring his cheeks. "Nothing of the sort."

"Because you are a devilishly handsome man," Graham chimed in.

"What do you do?"

Erwin explained his expertise. "I'm the inventor and CEO of Freedom Software and Freedom Sound. I'm just an audio engineering nerd that took a sharp left turn in software development."

"Professional Geek?" Graham suggested, which Erwin echoed agreeably. 

"So you like Bill Gates or sommin'?"

"A really smoking hot Bill Gates!" The Welsh actress at the far end of the couch declared.

Levi begins to relax, leaning back into the couch with his head cradled in his crooked arms. _Why the hell did Farlan sound so concerned, like I had something to worry about? He was just teasing me, that jerk._

The interview continued on like that, with the conversation among the other two guests and Graham invariably calling back to their good natured teasing of Erwin. He took it with grace and humble dignity, as he got to pitch the Freedom Soundware line and the charities sales will be benefitting.

"So he's a hot nerd with a heart of gold!"

"Yes, how very un-American of you, sir!"

"Aren't you supposed to be denying health benefits to your employees and laughing at the very idea of maternity leave as you count your grubby money every night?"

"And your arsenal of firearms?"

"Stop, stop," Graham demanded of the other guests. "Now, look you're embarrassing him. Listen. Erwin. You are a fascinating man. You are a humanitarian and use your wealth to help others. You make the rest of us look just awful. But you've got a nice arse, so you're welcome here any time." Cue uproarious laughter. "Now when we return, a musical performance by my guest--"

Levi hits the fast-forward button, having figured it out after a number of commercial breaks. There isn't anymore to the show, though, so he pauses the video and walks to the kitchen to fetch Sasha for help. A delicious aroma meets his nose, and Levi inhales deeply, his mouth salivating as his brain schemes up a way to talk the nanny into giving him a generous helping.

"You might have to tell your teacher that the dog ate your homework, because it smells fucking...holy...shit."

Levi stops dead in the archway of the kitchen to survey the feast before him. Nearly every surface of the kitchen is laid out with a breadth of baked goods: piles of cookies, pies of the fruit and cream variety, tiered cakes, layered cakes, fondant cakes, tarts, and a stack of brownies; not to mention breads of every size, shape and texture. Sasha looks up from a lumpy glob of dough she is kneading, her expression not unlike a deer in headlights.

"What the fuck is going on? Is this all your homework?"

"...Some of it."

"And by some?"

Sasha's brown eyes glance towards a small, two-tiered cake with a simple buttercream frosting which has been treated with a fading ombre coloring of rose red to baby pink.

"That's it?"

"I'm stress baking!" Sasha suddenly shouts, pounding her fists into the dough. "I told yous; I've never been without me ducks unless he was with his dad! I feel absolutely wretched not being able to care for him, pick him up, help him with his homework and cook him dinner...tuck him in at night… You don't understand the guilt, Levi! He's been under my care since he was a wee bab and I just threw him away! And why? For a hobby! _A hobby!_ I'm rubbish, I am!"

Speechless, Levi watches in horror as the young woman's eyes fill up with tears and spill down her cheeks. After a few moments, Levi gathers his thoughts well enough to take a tentative step forward.

"Hey...now...there's no reason to cry," Levi begins, feeling extraordinarily out of his depths. He raises a hand as if to lay it on her shoulder, but it never descends. "You're, uh, a great nanny. You just gotta do this thing right now. But it won't be forever, right? Better to do it right the first time and pass than flake out or have too much on your plate and have to do it all over again, right?" Judging from her deepening sobs, Levi guesses that his words are probably not the most comforting. He tries another angle. "Uhm...hey! You're doing this...cooking thing because you're investing in the future, right? That's...good! I mean, Armin is only going to be little for so long, so it's good you're prepared for when he's...too old...to need..." Levi realizes his words are like gasoline to the proverbial fire that is Sasha's emotions. Ready to forget the second television show and run home, Levi forces himself to think, really think, and try one more time. Finally, he claps a hand on her shoulder as he says gently,

"I bet Armin would love some of these."

Sasha stops crying long enough to look around and survey her accomplishments. "He does like macarons."  
  
After calming down the Brummie nanny long enough to have her change the program to the next television show Erwin appears on, Levi settles back on the couch to watch The Colbert Report. As it is only a half hour show, Erwin was the only guest slated. In a heather gray suit, Erwin was every bit as handsome as he had been on Graham Norton. Stephen, the host of the show, honed in on this straightaway.

"I heard you caused quite the hoopla on the Graham Norton show over in jolly England, sir."

"Did I?" Erwin asked in puzzlement.

"Well, I believe the words "nice arse" were used." The audience burst into laughter, causing Erwin's cheeks to flush several shades of rose. "I mean, and I hope I am not crossing any lines, but I must concur with my Irish colleague; you are not the turtleneck wearing bespectacled neck-beard nerd that typically runs these sorts of companies. And just because my guests company resides across the Pond," Stephen gave Erwin a look of reproach, "He is indeed, friends, one-hundred percent prime grade American beef."

  
Levi shakes with silent laughter as Erwin squirmed in his chair and the audience hooped and hollered. _I am going to give Smith so much hell for this._

"But! I think you can add International Man of Mystery to your ever growing list of achievements." Stephen nodded his head to an unseen crew member, prompting an insert of an image off the internet. It takes Levi a moment of vague deja vu to realize he is blinking curiously at a photo of his own ear, hair, and a bit of his undercut. Beside the image appeared "305,821 likes" and a caption clearly typed by Erwin, followed by a seemingly endless litany of comments.

"True or untrue, sir: You are spoken for."

Erwin smiled that wonderfully enigmatic smile, causing Levi to feel a thrill as he answered.

"True."

Stephen lead his audience in a collective "awwwwwww" for put-on disappointment.

"Those are quite the adornments for the ear."

"Yes, yes," Erwin agreed, panic in his eyes. Levi waits with baited breath, suddenly understanding Farlan's concern.  
  
"Might this gentleman also be the sort to decorate his skin with, shall we say, artistic ink?"  
  
"Yes," Erwin answered with a laugh. "He has tattoos, too."

"You do like the bad boys, Mr. Smith."

"Don't we all?" Erwin quipped, surprising Levi.

"Is he also in the technology industry?"

"No, not at all," Erwin shifted in the chair, looking extremely uncomfortable despite his smile. "Automotives."

Stephen brayed with laughter. "This isn't the Spanish Inquisition, my friend."

"My boyfriend is very private," Erwin explained apologetically. "There are children involved."

"Then we will cleverly segue into the part of the interview where you inform my millions of viewers about Freedom Soundware and the charities benefitting from the profits."

"Thank you."

Crossing his arms over his chest, Levi sits back into the couch and exhales deeply. _This is happening so quickly._ Having work and the boys to distract him has given Levi the luxury of avoiding having to contemplate Erwin's airport confession, amd the blond man has blessedly not brought up the topic since. Levi is not prepared for the public to ring in their opinions on his relationship before he has been able to assess his own thoughts and emotions. He does not know how this public knowledge of their relationship will come into play later on, but he senses the proverbial microscope peering down on them whether he is ready for it or not.

* * *

  
That evening, after picking up the boys from Community Care and a couple bags of groceries from the store, Levi is met with a magnificent bouquet of hot chocolate calla lilies and black magic roses resting outside his front door. He slows his approach to the porch, looking around suspiciously.

“It’s from Poppa,” Armin informs him nonchalantly.

“You sure?”

“Oh, yes, quite sure,” Armin repeats with a sage nod as he balances one bag of groceries in his arms.

“Daddy, look, they’re like the color of your new makeup!” Eren cries, running over to the bouquet to sniff their fragrance.

“Hmm,” Levi hums, wrangling the keys from his hand as he sidesteps the bouquet and boy to unlock the front door.

“The boys driving you batty yet?” Erwin asks the next time they speak on the phone. Levi is curled up in bed, listening to the January rain pelting down on the rooftop above.

“Nah,” Levi replies. “My system has been working perfectly. Actually, I think the one losing it is Sasha.”

“Oh?”

“I popped by the house the other day and found her in the kitchen surrounded by, I’m not even fucking kidding, twenty desserts. She started to cry. It was really weird. I wanted to get the fuck out of dodge, but I figured that would have been the rude thing to do - are you laughing?”

“Yes, and I know I shouldn’t be. Poor Sasha. If this is a precursor to what’s to come when Armin gets older, I’m glad for putting her through culinary school so she has something to fall back on. I hope Armin or Eren didn’t see her cry?”

“No, the kids weren't there…” Levi begins evasively. _Damn it. I didn’t want to let him know I watched those shows._

“Did Armin leave something at the house?”

“No. I went over to uh…”

“Aw. Were you missing me, Levi? Did you sneak into my closet to take a shirt, or maybe my pillow?”  
  
“Ew, you filthy freak, no! I went over to watch those two stupid talk shows you were on!”

 _Goddamn it!_ Levi mentally kicks himself.

“Oh.” There is an awkward, heavy pause between them before Erwin adds, “You know, I should have taken Hitch’s warnings more seriously after I posted that photo of you online. I had no idea they’d steer the conversation that way.”

“And here I thought those flowers left on my doorstep were to express your immense affection rather than your crushing guilt,” Levi says sassily as he stretches lazily.

“You’ve been waiting for the opportune moment to slide that into the conversation, haven’t you?”

Levi merely chuckles as his answer.

“And yes, while there may have been a modicum of remorse as I carefully picked exactly which type of flowers I thought you may have an affinity for, the gesture was purely from my dear, overflowing heart.”

Levi blows a raspberry into the receiver.

“It’s OK, Smith. I’m not mad about it.”

“That’s good,” Erwin says with a sigh of relief. “I was a bit uncomfortable.”

“You were wiggling like a worm on a hook, Smith.”

“I’m not used to people being interested enough in my private life to bring that kind of attention to it. Has anyone said anything back at home?”

Levi recounts the weird exchange with the mother from Emerson. Erwin merely sighs heavily on the other end before saying, “Well. I can’t say Hange didn’t warn me that the other parents were talking. I don’t know if it’s because we’re gay, or,”

“Get real, Smith,” Levi interrupts curtly. “It’s because you’re you and I’m me.”

“What? Levi, be sensible.”

“I’m not delusional, Smith. I’m dating above my station and that’s entertainment for them.”

“Above your station?” Erwin laughs against his better judgment. “Where did you hear that, PBS?”

“So what if I did? Because I’m a blue collar and came from poor, white-ish trash, I can’t enjoy a period drama on public television?”

“Levi,” Erwin begins sternly. “You're being glib.”

“I know.” Levi turns on his side, hugging his pillow to his chest before he confesses softly under his breath, “I just feel their eyes on me and it’s creeping me the fuck out.”

“We’ll deal with it together, Levi. I promise.”

A smile tugs at the corner of Levi’s mouth before he presses his lips close to the receiver.

“I love the flowers, Smith.”


	13. Conquering Myself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Conquering myself  
> Until I see another hurdle approaching  
> Say we can, say we will  
> Not just another drop in the ocean' 
> 
> \- Echo and the Bunnymen (The Cutter)

In the final stretch of Erwin’s absence, Levi finds himself taking Armin back home. Both boys are in the backseat, tired from a long day of school and feeling the bittersweetness of their schedules returning to normal. Even Levi feels it, just as the temporary arrangement starts to feel normal and routine. He isn’t even all that pissed off about driving a Prius. Much.

“Thank you for letting me stay at your house while my Poppa was away,” Armin says as Levi unloads the little boy’s belongings from the trunk and sets them on the gravel. 

“No worries, kiddo,” Levi replies as he shuts the trunk. “You’re always welcome at our house.”

“I bet Sasha will be very happy to see you,” Eren states, running up to the porch with Levi’s keys in hand. Wordlessly, Levi reclaims them before unlocking the house and walking inside. “Go take Armin’s stuff upstairs.” 

The boys make a beeline upstairs. The telltale signs of Sasha being home are abundant: bubblegum dance music and a mouth-watering fragrance emanating from the kitchen. Following sound and scent, Levi stops in his tracks for a second time in a week's span as he comes face to face with Sasha untangling herself from the embrace of a half undressed young man. Levi rests one hand on his hip and announces his presence in the most Levi way possible.

“I see you have a study buddy to pull all-nighters with.” 

“Levi!” Sasha shrieks, pulling her dress back down as she hops off the lap of the young man. “Bab, I thought you was dropping ducks off after dinner.”

“And have you yell at me for denying Armin a welcome home meal? Pffft.”

“We were, uh, just, uhm,” the young man mumbles as he scrambles to collect his clothes and dress himself.

“Homework?” Levi finishes for him dryly. 

“Sasha!” Armin calls as he and Eren descend the back stairs. 

“Something’s burning,” Eren observes.

“Piss it!” Sasha dashes over to the oven as Levi rushes to block the boys’ passage. 

“Hey! Go around the long way.”

“Why?” Armin asks suspiciously.

“Because Sasha has a surprise for you and it isn’t ready.”

“Oh, boy!” Eren cries, taking Armin by the hand and pulling him back upstairs to the hallway and down the main staircase.

“Got it!” The mystery boy cries triumphantly, shaking his T-shirt before quickly putting it on. Levi rolls his eyes.

“Bugger,” Sasha growls in frustration as she removes a smoking pie dish from the oven, waving away the angry fumes. Her friend goes to open a window and Levi stands back, waiting.

“Who’re you?” Eren asks the instant he and Armin enter the kitchen.

“Ducks, Eren,” Sasha coughs as the smoke clears, “this is me friend from school, Connie. I was helping him with his pastry.”

Levi presses his lips together, suppressing the bubble of laughter welling in his throat.

“Hey there, little dudes,” Connie grins as he waves, glancing at Levi nervously.

“Why is your shirt inside out?” Eren asks, pointing to the obvious tag at Connie’s collarbone. 

“I missed you, Sasha,” Armin announces, leaning against his nanny. She gives him a warm squeeze in response and kisses the top of his head.

“Missed you, too, ducks.” 

“Daddy said you have a surprise.”

Levi grins; trust his greedy little monster to remember a surprise.

“A surprise?” Connie runs a hand over his neatly close shaved head. “Uh, right! We do. Pie.” He gestures proudly towards the pie pan, the crust charred on the edges and the middle sunken and cracked. The boys look less than impressed. Sensing impending dissent, Connie is quick to recover.

“It’s a custard, so you want it a little brȗlée. That’s French for a little toasted on top.”

“No,” Armin quickly and calmly corrects, his skeptical blue eyes steadfastly on the pie. “It means burnt.”

* * *

“What time do you pick up Erwin?” Farlan asks as they take inventory of their stock parts and update their files. Being old fashioned, they keep it on paper and let Isabel deal with copying it to the digital files they keep in the lone computer. She earns a bit of pocket money for a couple of hours of mind-numbing data entry, it is a win-win situation.

“His flight gets in at eight o’clock,” Levi says. “I’ll feed Eren and Isabel dinner since she’s coming over after her last class today. I’ll take off around seven. Traffic should be easy by then.”

“Oh, that means I get to walk around in my underwear at home!” Farlan gleefully cackles. “Party!”

“I’m glad this arrangement works out for everyone,” Levi sasses with a smirk. 

Levi does not understand why he has yet to share with his best friend that Erwin said “I love you.” He always tells Farlan everything...and while part of Levi feels this shouldn’t be any different, it somehow is. Farlan looks out for Levi’s best interest, and while he has a solid track record for being a reliable voice of reason, his limited knowledge of Erwin himself would hinder any advice solicited. Levi knows his own hang ups, anyway.

* * *

As the day wears on and the time to pick up Erwin grows closer, Levi continues to feel the pressure to know his own mind and heart. Yes, he can return the gesture, but would Erwin expect him to say it straight away? Welcome home, I love you? How many bags did you bring, I love you? What would you like for dinner, I love you? And what if Levi ignores the proverbial elephant in the room? Will Erwin give him those stupid puppy dog eyes every time their eyes meet, waiting in anticipation? Levi grows angry and frustrated just imagining this scenario; who is really to blame anyway? Stupid Erwin saying “I love you” and running - like a hit and run! A declaration and run!  _ What a sneaky little bitch _ , Levi thinks as he waits for Eren to finish his game at Community Care.

“Hello, Levi. Nice running into you.”

Levi looks up abruptly to see Director Hange rocking on the balls of her feet, waiting for him to answer.

“Huh?”

“That’s quite the deep thought you were in,” Hange laughs. Levi would almost feel embarrassed except that his thoughts are completely centered on his predicament. 

“I’m ready, Daddy!” Eren calls just as an idea comes to Levi.

“Hang tight, little monster,” Levi calls before leaning closer to the school director. “Do you have a few minutes, actually?”

“I do, certainly,” Hange says congenially.

“Uh, somewhere else?” Levi suggests, feeling exposed in the noisy after school day care.

“Of course,” Hange leads the way back to her office at the front of the school. “How may I be of service? Is Eren doing all right?”

“What? Eren’s fine.” Levi brushes aside the topic of his child and segues into his issue as he sits across from her at her desk. “Listen. I would never pull anyone else into my own bullshit, but I’m kinda caught between a rock and a hard place right now and I only have a couple of hours to sort shit out.”

Sensing the topic at hand is more of a personal nature, Hange nods, encouraging Levi to continue.

“And I don’t want to put you in a weird position, either. I just would really appreciate a little guidance.”

“That’s my job.”

Levi falters, trying to organize the words in his brain so they will alleviate Hange of the awkwardness of being advised on how to navigate her best friend.

“If someone said something to you...something really... _ nice _ . Kind of unexpected, but really... _ nice _ ...Are you obligated to say something... _ really nice _ ...in return?” Levi squints at Hange, hoping his choice of words is not so vague that he will have to risk dying of humiliation by spelling it out further. The Director mulls on his words for a few moments before responding.

“No. You should only say something nice to someone if you truly mean it. Otherwise it would be dishonest.”

“Yeah, but, it’s not like I don’t think nice thoughts, I just haven’t found the right time or situation, even, to return...saying _ nice _ things.”

“If this someone is someone special, and knows you very well and likes you for who are, they will not expect you to go against your character in any way, shape or form. I think whatever  _ nice _ thing they said came selflessly and without strings attached. You would do yourself and them a disservice if you forced yourself to say something  _ nice _ before you are ready.”

Levi thinks about her advice before nodding and leaping to his feet. “Great. Thanks for the advice. I’ll see you around.” He turns to leave.

“My pleasure. Oh, and Levi?”

His hand poised on the handle, Levi looks over his shoulder in anticipation.

“Tell Erwin I said welcome back.”

* * *

As traffic crawls along that evening, Levi stews in the anxieties he has been keeping at bay since Erwin’s departure three weeks ago. Wrestling with his insecurities while navigating a freeway always proves futile, though, so he cranks up the radio to drown out the stress inducing voices. By the third Rage Against the Machine song from XM Radio, Levi finds himself adequately focused on the present, but riled up enough that he does not trust himself to keep his cool. Small talk has never been his forte. 

  
He does not wait long at the baggage claim before Erwin swaggers over to him, that deliciously confident smile on his chiseled face. Tilting his cheek up for Erwin’s welcoming kiss, Levi keeps his eyes focused on the bags making their way down the carousel.

“Have a good flight?” Levi asks neutrally.

“It was long and uneventful,” Erwin replies. 

They stand by the carousel in silence, waiting for the conveyer belt to slowly begin its creaking chore, as an international flight’s worth of baggage makes its circular journey around impatient and tired passengers eager to grab their belongings and put as much distance between themselves and the airport as humanly possible. Erwin is visibly pleased to be reunited with his boyfriend, and attempts smalltalk. 

"How are the boys?"

"Fine."

Erwin's brow knits just for a brief moment. No snappy comeback about abandoning the kids in the Angeles Forest with only a flashlight and their wits to protect them? He tries again. 

"I thought you might have brought them." 

"You didn't ask. Besides, it's a school night."

"Is everything alright, Levi?"

"Of course it is," Levi snaps, folding his arms across his chest and pointedly focusing on the waltz of the suitcases before them. 

Erwin realizes he needs to shut up and complies, though bafflement reads all over his face. Once his luggage is recovered, Levi silently leads the way back to the Prius and remotely unlocks the trunk for Erwin to help himself. Once they are at the toll booth, Erwin reaches for his wallet in his coat pocket.

"I can take care of the ticket-"

"Don't be stupid," Levi cuts in, handing the ticket to the cashier in the booth. He wasn't there long enough to even warrant a fee, and they exit without another word.

A heavy, uncomfortable silence weighs on them like an electric blanket on a hot July night, sweat and palpitation inducing as Erwin frets over what he may have done or said to have earned the wrath of the ice king.

"Levi,"

"You know what fucking sucks?" Levi suddenly cries, gripping the steering wheel as he maneuvers onto the freeway. "Innocently taking my boyfriend to the airport so he can run off for three weeks and do whatever the fuck he does that is beyond my goddamn peabrain comprehension, except that whatever it is requires him to be on television and talk about me. And then what happens? How does this ingrate boyfriend pay me back? He fucking drops a bomb on me as I'm heaving his stupid ass suitcase onto the curb, with a pile of taxicabs are blaring their fucking horns at me to get the glue outta my ass. He says I LOVE YOU! I love you! And then he just POOF!" At this, Levi spreads the fingers of one hand as if to scatter fairy dust onto his dashboard. "Scurries away like a rat bastard coward. Doesn't mention it again. Doesn't bring it up in our countless phone conversations and texts. Just dumps and ditches out. Who does that shit? Who fucking does that but sixteen year olds in a shitty, cheesy teenage movie? Like, how am I supposed to respond to that a-bomb? Was I even supposed to respond? You didn't even give me a fucking chance. For three weeks, I haven't been able to wrap my brain about that totally shit move you pulled. You think a bunch of pretty flowers are going to make up for that crap? I mean, what are you even expecting? That isn't how grown-ups behave, goddamn it. You don't just say I love you to a grown-ass man and run away like a fucking child. That shit ain't cute. You wait and face the consequences of your fucking actions like a goddamn adult."

Erwin waits in silence and shame, wondering if Levi will have a second wind and continue to chew him out. The discomfort is still there, though it is no longer raising the ambient temperature of the car. The volcano has blown, and all that remains is the frosty aftermath. When he is quite certain that Levi is not going to yell at him any longer, Erwin clears his throat and speaks up, his voice thin and tentative.

"I'm starving, have you eaten?"

Levi casts the blond a side glance before responding.

"There's an In-N-Out three exits up."

There are only four cars in front of them when they pull into the drive-thru. Exhausted from his rant, Levi rests his elbow against the window, his forehead against his hand as he stares blankly out the window. Erwin leans slightly forward to refamiliarize himself with the simple menu, trying to recall the secret menu add-ons and multitudinous ways he can gussy up his burger. Straightening up and rolling down the window, Levi leans back and lets Erwin shout his order across him.

"Good evening," Erwin greets the speaker. "I'll have a double, animal style cheeseburger with mustard-grilled patty, well-done fries and a Neapolitan shake." 

"Anything else?" The teenager on the other side of the speaker asks. Erwin cautiously looks at his boyfriend, who has been pensive and unreadable since his blow-up.

"Levi?"

Levi leans out the window ever so slightly as if he is about to add to the order before he abruptly blurts out, "I love you."

Levi looks over at Erwin in astonishment, his steel colored eyes oddly widening as he and Erwin momentarily forget where they are and simply stare at one another in the wake of the shocking admission.

"Excuse me?” A hesitant voice emanates from the static riddled speaker on the other side of Levi. “I didn’t quite catch that."

Sitting back in his seat, Erwin keeps his eyes trained on Levi, initially believing his boyfriend to have been facetious, but realizes from the coloration on Levi's cheeks, the raven haired man had zero intention to express his sentiment at such an awkward moment. Realizing his boyfriend is too gobsmacked to speak after such an flub, Erwin orders for him, "Uh, just another order of fries and a chocolate shake, thanks.” She rattles off their order, the total, and asks them to please move to the next window for payment.

The line for their food moves at an excruciating crawl, and Erwin cannot help but play the asshole and rub it in.

"Not so easy to resist when you're caught up in the moment, eh?"

"Skating on thin ice, Smith," Levi warns testily, his threat falling on deaf ears as Erwin chortles at the absurdity of their evening. He leans over and kisses Levi's cheek before Levi turns to receive a full and proper kiss.

"I love you, too, Badtz."

"Jesus christ on a cracker with that nickname," Levi huffs irritably. 

A honk interrupts them as it had on the day Erwin left for London, causing Levi to jump and remember himself. He waves off the driver behind them even as he pulls up to the cashier window.

As they sit together under the hazy glow of a lamp post in the In-N-Out Burger parking lot, Levi shamelessly taking the occasional bite out of Erwin’s cheeseburger, the tension that previously strangled them has all but evaporated away.

“You’re right, you know,” Erwin admits suddenly. “I left you hanging and I regret not giving you a chance to reply.”

“Harumph,” Levi grouces as he chomps noisily on another bite of flame grilled burger. 

“But I’m not going to apologize for vocalizing my feelings,” Erwin adds stubbornly as he boldly dips some fries into his milkshake before eating them, much to Levi’s revulsion. “I told you what I felt in that moment, because in that moment I felt love and wanted you to know;  _ needed _ you to know. Which I believe you now understand, given your declaration to the drive-thru speaker.”

Levi’s face returns to a beet red as he spits, “Fuck you, I wasn’t even facing that speaker.” An odious lie if there ever was one, but Levi will protect it until he breathes his last.

Erwin laughs. “Here, take another bite. You need protein or sugar or something.” He lifts the double-patty cheeseburger to Levi, who complies and takes another bite. “Now,” Erwin asks as he watches his boyfriend chew. “I can tell that, despite your reluctant reconciliation, you’re still miffed at me. How can I get myself out of the doghouse?”

Levi shrugs. “I’ll get over it eventually.”

“Good.” Erwin shifts in the passenger seat to count the number of cars that remain in the parking lot and at the drive-thru before he turns back to his boyfriend, a devious gleam in his eyes and a waggling eyebrow as he asks, “Ever do it in a fast food parking lot before?”

Levi’s face contorts into pure disgust. “Gross. Try again, Smith.”

Erwin shrugs nonchalantly. “It was worth asking.”

* * *

The winter rains continue into February, drenching the greater southern California area and driving the children at Emerson School Community Care batty with a limited play area. It also makes the picking up process that much more annoying, as parents are extra short-tempered when it comes to highly coveted parking spaces and an expeditious sign-out is greatly appreciated by the queue of waiting cars.

"Hi, Daddy!" Eren cries happily when he spies Levi enter the Community Room and shake off the excess rain from his hair. 

"Hey, kiddo. Get your stuff, we gotta book it."

"Ok, but, I want to show you my homework. I couldn't do it all today because I need your help. But it isn't due for a couple of weeks."

"Then let's not worry about it right now, little monster. Just grab your gear. I need to get you across town for your circus crap and traffic is hell."

"It's not crap," Eren protests gruffly, his mood turning on a dime. Levi huffs in frustration as he takes the pen from the mother in front of him and quickly scrawls his name across the sign-out ledger. 

"Just get your stuff, okay?" Levi snaps. Thankfully Eren obeys without another word. As he stands off to the side to allow the parents behind him to sign out, Levi digs his hands in his pockets and waits anxiously. He does not mean to snap at Eren, but the pressure for a smooth and effortless pick-up after a rather stressful day of work along with the added pressure of having to drive his son in afternoon traffic with rain, combined with the desire to avoid any unwanted small talk from nosy parents surrounding; it weighs on him like brick. Lost in his thoughts, Levi does not see someone approach him until they speak at his side.

"Hello, stranger. Fancy meeting you here."

With a start, Levi turns to see Erwin and he cannot help but smile back.

"Hey there yourself." 

Aside from a quick tryst they were able to grab thanks to Sasha taking both boys home for dinner, the two men have not had much time to catch up since the airport pick-up, with Erwin getting back into the swing of the business and home routine. 

"Hi, Poppa," Eren sulks as he shuffles his way over to Levi, his head down and feet dragging. Erwin ruffles Eren’s already messy brown hair. 

"Why the long face?"

Eren casts Levi a witherling side glance the snarky father is secretly rather proud of.

"I'm sorry," Levi says, also running a loving hand through Eren's hair before pulling the boy to his side. "I had a shit day at work."

"In that case," Erwin says as Armin approaches with his backpack and lunchbox. "Let's all go to dinner. Poppa's treat. I've been back a week and the four of us haven't had a chance to get together for a meal as of yet.'

"That's nice," Levi gently protests, "but Eren has his class and we have a tradition of getting a slice of pizza and root beer on the way home." 

"Ah, alright, then," Erwin concedes amiably, though his dejection is not far from the surface. 

_ His eyes give him away _ , Levi realizes, secretly enjoying the fact that he can recognize these intimate tics of body language in his boyfriend. "Another night. Promise."

"Would Friday work?" Erwin asks, suddenly perky as his scheming gears churn. "It'll be a week from Valentine's Day and I would love to take you three out to dinner as an early celebration."

"What do you think, Armin?” Levi asks the solemn little boy. “Family dinner this Friday night?"

The blond boy nods, prompting Eren to clap his hands together once in glee. 

Erwin nods decisively. "It's settled then."

A gentle tap on Erwin's shoulder has him turning to see two mothers. 

"Mr. Smith, I heard your interview on NPR," one mother gushes while the other nods. "I had no idea you did so much charity work."

"Well," Erwin states modestly. "One has to balance awkwardly between keeping a humble stance so as not to detract from the deed itself and bringing attention to worthy causes."

The other woman places her hand on Levi's shoulder, causing him to jump and battle the urge to sneer.

"You must be so proud of him, Levi."

Erwin starts. This is the first public acknowledgment at the school of their relationship beyond idle gossip. Levi recovers quickly, folding his arm over his chest.

"Do I look like his mother? He doesn't need my approval."

The snort of following laughter does not come from Erwin as Levi expects, but Armin at his side. The blond is surprised by his own mirth, quickly looking at either father for their reaction. His humor is infectious, though, as Eren laughs unabashedly at Armin.

"Armin, you sounded just like a little piggy!"

Clapping his hand over his mouth, Armin fails at suppressing his subsequent giggles until both men are quickly making their excuses to the women and part ways.

* * *

After Eren's lessons, Levi battles the weather induced traffic to Garage Pizza on Sunset Boulevard where he and Eren pull up two barstool seats across from one another to tuck in to two slices each and a pitcher of root beer to split between them.

"Hey, you were trying to tell me about some homework assignment earlier, right?" Levi asks, shaking red pepper flakes over his mushroom, sausage and black olive topped pizza.

Eren, mouth full of cheese pizza, nods enthusiastically. Chewing extra quickly, he swallows, takes a generous swig of his carbonated beverage and wipes his mouth with the back of his arm.

"Everyone in third grade got the same assignment, so Armin has to work on it, too, but we can't help each other. Only you can help me, Daddy."

Smiling, Levi feels his heart warming. Only daddy can help his little boy. He is ecstatic that his son is not yet too old for his help and whatever expertise he can offer his third grader.

"Sure, li'l monster, I'll help however I can."

"Thanks!” Eren squeaks, smiling toothily. “It's called a family tree." 

Levi's heart plummets into the floor; his smile drops as his body freezes. Obliviously, Eren continues to explain the assignment as if Levi has never heard of a family tree.

"We have to draw a tree and on every branch we write a family member's name and how they are related to me. I need your help because other than you, I don't know who else to write on my tree. I don't want my tree to just be a...a stick!"  
  
"You can put your Uncle Farlan and Auntie Isabel."  
  
Eren does not look convinced. "They're not related to me, though."  
  
"They are family and that’s all that matters."  
  
"But they're only two people! Armin has a Nonnie and Marman, even if she isn't a kind of traditional mommy. I want a family tree just like his."  
  
"Eren, you are not Armin or anyone else. Your family tree is small, but it is just as good as anyone else's. Every tree has to start somewhere...even if it is a twig."  
  
Levi almost sounds like Erwin with that hacky, feel-good philosophy the blond is so damn good at. Levi is almost proud of himself, but the grumpy look on Eren's precious face lets him know his kid is not buying it. Levi can almost predict the words before they fly out of Eren’s mouth.  
  
"Where is my mom?"  
  
Typically uncaring of his surroundings during these potentially volcanic moments between himself and Eren, Levi is highly aware of the looks he draws at Eren's question.  
Hunching close to the raised metal table, Levi lowers his voice to a controlled angry whisper. "We are not having this conversation here," Levi says as quietly and tensely as possible. "Finish your pizza and let's get home."  
  
Eren stubbornly pushes his pizza away, never breaking eye contact from his father. Equally pig-headed, Levi eats the rest of his slice as agonizingly slowly as possible. Eren never takes another bite, but obediently follows his father to the Prius when it is time to leave. Levi tells himself he continues to drive the damn thing because of the rain, and because the hybrid vehicle gets better gas mileage than his truck.   
  
"Are you going to tell me about my mommy _now_?" Eren demands as he buckles up.  
  
"You don't have a mommy," Levi says. "We've been over this."  
  
"Then how was I born?" Eren asks sassily.

"Eren!” Levi cries angrily. “We are not discussing this topic anymore. I raised you from the day you were born. I fed you, put clothes on your back, a roof over your head and got you into a great school. I am your mother and your father. You can put my name on both branches of your tree, because nobody else provided for you except me. Just like my mom did for me all by herself."   
  
"Like the opposite of you and me?"   
  
"Yes, exactly."   
  
Eren lets this information sink in as his mood decidedly shifts and softens. "Can I put your mommy on my tree?" He asks tentatively. "My Grandma?"   
Levi hesitates, the word ‘no’ close on his lips but he quickly retracts it, seeing a viable compromise to end this explosive topic of conversation. "Yes, you may." 

"You should just marry Erwin so I can add him, Armin, Sasha and Armin's Nonnie to my tree, too!"

Taken aback, Levi grips the steering wheel in shock until he manages to momentarily recover, "Enough!” he snaps, “This is the end of the discussion, Eren Jager Ackerman."  
  
Recognizing his defeat despite the addition of one name to his tree, Eren sulks for the rest of the drive home and for days thereafter. He does not broach the topic again with Levi, nor bring up his assignment.  
  


* * *

  
  
"This place is fancy," Eren loudly whispers to his dad as if Levi does not notice the trendy glitz of the Japanese restaurant called Nobu that Erwin treats them to in West Hollywood that Friday. The mood between father and son has lightened considerably by the end of the week, and the argument at the pizza parlor is all but a memory, hopefully never to be repeated, though Levi knows he is fooling himself in that selfish wish.   
"Don't stare, Eren," Levi says from behind his menu, thanking his lucky stars that Eren is not cognizant of the smattering of celebrities dining close by. His heart palpitates at the sight of the prices, but he keeps his face neutral as usual. 

"But, daddy, Armin and I are the only kids."

"Then you need to be on your best behavior," Levi warns his son. 

"Don't let that bother you, Eren," Erwin says cheerfully. "You and Armin have sophisticated palates."

"You like a lot more interesting food than I do," Armin adds, complimenting his friend to ease the brunet's worries. Heartened, Eren studies the menu in earnest. Levi wishes his anxieties could be smoothed over so easily, but when their server arrives to take their order, Levi quickly throws Erwin ahead of him. Erwin orders like a man with the steadfast confidence of money and refinement that Levi is doubtful he will ever possess. 

"I would like the Omakase, but first, two orders of Uni tacos and a bottle of the signature sake, please."

The waiter nods, moving on to Armin, who merely orders his comfortably familiar sushi and soba. Eren is bursting at the seams to order his meal, taking a particular glee as he announces, "Live Octopus Shabu Shabu, please!" Levi rolls his eyes and, despite hating matching couples, mimics Erwin's order as he is overwhelmed by the frou-frou menu. When the food begins to arrive, Levi cannot help but be intrigued by the artful presentation and, more importantly, by the taste itself. 

"You weren't too sure about this place when we first pulled up, were you?" Erwin calls him out on his skepticism. 

"I have no idea what you are talking about, Smith," Levi sasses primly, unwilling to admit to the accuracy of Erwin's deduction. 

"I bet Sasha would like this place," Eren sulks. Erwin smiles down at the young boy as he replies.

"She sends her regards and in fact has offered to have a bake and play date on Sunday, if it is okay with Levi."

"Sure," Levi says. "I have to go into work on Sunday instead of Saturday anyway, so I can drop Eren off on the way in."

"Great," Erwin replies, beaming as Armin and Eren exchange pleased expressions and turn their conversation to what they might ask Sasha to bake with them. "Why are you going in on a Sunday, Badtz?"

"Eren has a demonstration at his circus school tomorrow and Farlan is driving Isabel up to UC San Luis Obispo to talk with some career advisor about transferring. She'll be completing up all of her prerequisites at Pasadena City College this June."

"Is Isabel going to move?" Eren asks.

"She might."

Erwin interjects before the full sadness can settle on Eren's face. "But it isn't very far. You must be very proud of your Aunt Isabel."

Eren brightens instantly and nods. Levi uses his free hand to quietly take hold of Erwin's and give it a squeeze of gratitude. 

"I know Valentine's Day is not for another week," Erwin begins after their meal concludes, an arm around Levi and Armin's hand in his on the other side as they start to head outside. "But this is my way of saying thank you for being so wonderful while I was out of town, and that I love you all very much."

"Thank you, Poppa,” Armin replies pleasantly, “I love you, too."

"Me, too!" Eren cries, skipping towards the exit. As soon as they are out the door, the chilly February air hits them. The line at the valet is a few parties deep, prompting Levi to zip up his leather jacket and huddle closer to Erwin. The boys are adjacent to them, closer to the curb where there is some hubbub going on with a gaggle of paparazzi and a famous singer getting into her vehicle.

"Cold?" Erwin inquirers, wrapping an arm around Levi and pulling him close. Levi smiles up at his boyfriend, warm with love and a bit of sake, his silver eyeliner glinting in the light from the restaurant. He rests a hand against Erwin’s chest. 

“Nah.”

"Who are they?" Eren asks Armin as they gawk at the hungry photographers, eager to snap a prize-fetching photo of a celebrity. Armin simply shrugs, baffled as Eren. They admire the luxurious vehicles pulling up as they wait for Erwin's car, lost in their awe and unaware of a slovenly looking paparazzo looming in closer. 

"Hey!” The photographer cries directly in front of the boys, giving them a violent start. "You're that tech guy's kid, right?" Armin turns to look for his father right as the stranger goes in for a photo. 

"Poppa!"

Erwin is in the middle of retrieving his keys from the valet man who has just brought around his vehicle, but Levi snaps to attention at the panic in Armin's voice.

Frustrated his subject moved so quickly, the paparazzo shoots out a beefy hand and takes hold of Armin's bicep in an effort to gain his attention. The little boy squeals in panic as Eren pulls him back from the curb. 

"Get the fuck away from my kid!" Levi growls as he yanks his children away and unthinkingly decks the man square in the face. The photographer spins onto the ground, causing his dumbstruck colleagues to scatter, some looking on blankly while others seize the opportunity and snap and film. Levi knows he's fucked, but Armin's sobs of shock and fright are too pressing for him to care as he scoops the little blond boy into his arms. 

"What the hell just happened?" Erwin shouts as he runs over. Eren is only too eager to explain, excitedly hopping up and down while pointing at the photographer, now sulking on the asphalt. 

"That man was taking photos and he grabbed Armin, which scared us, and Daddy saw and came over and he punched that man - POW!"

Flabbergast, Erwin stares at Levi, who can only shrug helplessly as he gently rocks the hysterical little boy in his arms. Armin has both arms folded around Levi's neck with his face buried directly under the raven haired man's chin. His tears are hot and heartbreaking. Eren awkwardly pats his best friend on the leg reassuringly as Erwin lifts the hood of Armin's coat up for impromptu privacy against the growing crowd.

"You!" The general manager of the restaurant is outside now, the head valet beside him as they storm over to the paparazzo. "You have caused enough trouble this time. Get the hell away from here or I’m calling the cops. I saw what you did!"

"Come on, let's beat it," a fellow paparazzo encourages his friend, whose face is still smarting and red. He holds up his camera, the lens cracked and the diffuser broken from where it had dropped hard on the street. 

"I should call the cops on you," he shouts at Levi. Levi opens his mouth to retort, but Erwin holds up his palm and steps forward, a terrible shadow across his stern expression.

"If you are going to involve the police, I hope you are prepared to tell them that you laid your hands on my child without his or his parent's consent."

The man stalks off with the rest of the paparazzi group, disgruntled and grumbling the whole way.

"Erwin, I'm sorry," Levi begins.

"Not now," Erwin says as he steps aside to talk with the general manager and head valet. After an intense discussion he pulls out his phone, pausing only to look over at Levi briefly. "Go wait with the kids in the car."

Levi does not argue, directing Eren as he carries Armin, who does not want to disengage himself from Levi's hold, causing Levi to slide in the backseat with the kids. They wait and watch Erwin talk on the phone.

"Who is Poppa talking to?" Eren asks as he mimics Levi’s soothing circular motions across Armin’s back.

"I don't know." Only now does it begin to really sink in how his thoughtlessly brutish reaction might impact Erwin and his public image. Perhaps he is phoning the strange publicist? A business partner, maybe? Levi realizes with discomfort he knows so little about Erwin's business, but he pushes that worry aside to focus on the present. The conversation is not long and soon Erwin is saying goodbye to the staff and joining them in the Tesla.

"Who were you talkin to, Poppa?" Eren asks, and for once Levi does not reprimand Eren's nosiness. 

"My lawyer," Erwin replies as he drives off. "This whole incident will undoubtedly wind up on TMZ or some other trashy gossip show, and I need to be prepared for the ramifications. He's going to look into it and call me back tonight. I also have to phone Hitch when we get home."

"I'm sorry, Erwin," Levi repeats remorsefully as he manages to dislodge Armin long enough to buckle him up. 

Erwin sighs and glances at Levi in the rearview mirror before smiling with defeat. "Accepted. Now let's go home and get some sleep."

  
  
  



	14. Come Undone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Lost, in a snow filled sky  
> We'll make it alright to come undone  
> Now we'll try to stay blind to the hope and fear outside  
> Hey child, stay wilder than the wind and blow me in to cry' 
> 
> \- Duran Duran (Come Undone)

“Who was that awful man with the camera?” Armin asks Levi as he tucks the kids into bed that night. He and Eren will part from the Smith residence after an early breakfast, but both single dads thought it best to stay together for the evening. With a brief pitstop by the Ackerman house to feed the cats and grab various sundries for an impromptu sleepover, they are finally in a safe zone together.

“I don’t know,” Levi answers honestly as he perches on the side of Armin’s bed. Eren is already asleep, having passed out earlier on the ride back to Pasadena. “Just an annoying pest. Don’t think about him.”

“You squashed him like a bug,” Armin smirks before yawning. 

Levi returns the knowing expression as he brushes back Armin’s blond fringe. “Splat!”

Armin titters softly before a worried expression returns to his face. “Are you in a lot of trouble?”

“Who, me?” Levi shrugs nonchalantly. “Nah. Forget about it.”

“Okay,” Armin says, sleep quickly taking hold of him. “Goodnight, Levi.”

“Night, night, ducks.” Levi waits another few minutes before quietly departing, double checking the sound machine and night light to make sure its timer is set. 

Levi has never felt a paternal instinct for any child other than Eren before, and despite the hot water he may about to be boiled alive in, Levi is proud of his blossoming bond with Armin.

As soon as he enters the master suite, Levi overhears Erwin deep in conversation on his mobile.

"Darius? What's the outlook of this mess?"

Levi bows his head guiltily, mentally kicking himself for the hundredth time for his foolhardy actions. He undresses to keep from fidgeting as he eavesdrops on Erwin’s phone call. He can put on a brave face for the boys, but the reality of his insecurities and remorse is too large for him to deny personally. Not two weeks since he declared his love for Erwin before he places that love and patience to the test with his foolhardy action. Are the realities of their lives too complicated to withstand a relationship? Is their relationship strong enough to endure the public eye? Neither men knows the answer.  
  
"That's a relief. No, no, I don't imagine this is going to happen again.” Erwin steps out from the walk-in closet, already dressed in his black pajama bottoms. “Yeah. Well. We'll deal with it if and when it airs. Thanks. Bye."

Levi raises his eyes to Erwin, daring to hope this situation is over.

"You seemed to have punched the right guy," Erwin states without a trace of anger in his voice as . "Not only has that particular paparazzi been a pestilence that the restaurant has been looking for an excuse to file a restraining order against, but the valet apparently witnessed the incident, vouching and corroborating with your story. He talked with Darius, letting him know the photographer was taking unauthorized photos of the kids and definitely grabbed Armin. His crime cancels out yours, so there are no charges."

Levi exhales the breath he had been holding.

"I assured Darius this wouldn't happen again," Erwin adds with a sternness in his voice Levi never wants to hear directed at himself again. "But he was quick to remind me this probably is only the beginning of our privacy being invaded."

Levi nods. He is too elated that he will not have to explain to Eren why daddy has to go to jail than to stress over possible future run-ins with unwanted press.

"I know I apologized already, but," Levi stops as Erwin holds his palm up and shakes his head.

"You did, and I accepted. End of story." Erwin drops down next to Levi and pulls the shorter man close to him, nuzzling his ear in that intimate way Levi adores so much. "Now that it's over, I can confess that, although I don't condone violence, and were I not in a particularly public position, I probably would have reacted in a very similar way."

Levi smirks, finally feeling relaxed enough to lounge against his boyfriend and let the tenseness he has been carrying in his muscles and joints release into the ether. "You're too calculating and plan oriented to react like I did."

“Yes, but only from years of training and self-control.” He kisses Levi on the cheek before getting up to finish preparing for bed. As he enters the en suite, Erwin adds, “Silver lining is that we become notorious for our overbearing protectiveness. Erwin Smith and Levi Ackerman: the scourge of paparazzi!” 

They share a laugh, but Levi rapidly grows somber again. He can sense Erwin's curiosity, but it takes Levi a moment before he can find the words to vocalize a thought that has been creeping around the back of his mind since this ordeal came up.

"Erwin...is this what our life is going to be like from now on?" Levi asks as gently as he can. "Listen. I'm not trying to throw you under the bus; I take full ownership of knocking that guy's block off. But. Would he have wanted Armin's photo had you not been so public about your private life?"

Erwin sighs deeply, hanging his head in dramatized defeat. 

"That thought has been circling around in my head all night, too. Hitch warned me years ago that once I started posting personal photos online and _definitely_ after being interviewed by mainstream media, I would be recognized and scrutinized more closely...as would the people closest to me." He shook his head admonishingly. "I really didn't believe it would happen to me. I should have known better." 

"What did your publicist say when you talked to her?" 

A smirk tugs at the corner of Erwin's mouth. "She said it will boost my public image and earn me many fans and social media followers because nobody likes paparazzi, and everyone wants to see their comeuppance."

Levi sassily retorts, "But wouldn't that mean  _ I'm _ technically the hero of the story?"  
  
"Hah! Sure. Although, you can forget eternal fame and glory. Your moment of triumph will more than likely become a gif for a solid week or two; by next month nobody will remember your name. The public forgets incidents like this all of the time. It is a moment that will be screencapped and immortalized only by way of meme."

"Will they try to learn more about me?" Levi asks earnestly. He does not like the idea of anyone snooping into the more unsavory details of his past. "Can they dig up my police record? Will that fuck you over?"

"They may," Erwin says as he pulls back the covers on his side of the bed and scoots under. "But I doubt they'll unearth anything that far back and brief in your life. As for fucking me over, no. I agree with Hitch on this."

"Then, fuck it." Levi says with finality as he pulls back the covers and gestures for Erwin to join him. "I'm sorry I didn't invite you to the demo tomorrow, by the way. There’s limited seating, so they limit two people per kid and I couldn't invite you and not Armin."

"It's fine, I am sure there will be ample opportunities to see Eren perform in the future."

Levi snorts softly. "Backflips on the couch, handstands in the yard, don't encourage him."  
  
The lights are turned off and Levi soon feels the comforting warmth of Erwin's solid body against his back. The night is quiet, the chaos of earlier slowly fading into the night. 

"Erwin?"  
  
"Yes, Badtz?"

"What the fuck is a meme?"

* * *

Armin wakes with a stuttering gasp, sitting upright in his bed as he noisily attempts regular breathing patterns. Looking around his bedroom, Armin is dismayed to discover it is still the middle of the night. His light and sound machine are still on, and Eren is softly snoozing on the bed next to him. Nothing out of place, but Armin cannot shake off the nightmare. With a whimper, Armin clutches his blankets and tries to will himself to lie back and relax. Only his heart will not cooperate, as it thumps away in his chest, still frightened by the memory of the vivid nightmare. Without second guessing his actions, Armin quickly leaves his bed and scuttles down the hallway to his Poppa’s bedroom. Slipping in and quietly shutting the door behind him, Armin shuffles to the end of the bed where apprehension finally takes hold of him. He has no concrete memories of the last time his Poppa had this solid of a relationship, and therefore a partner to share his bed with. Armin does not want to disturb Levi, and yet his fright persists. 

“Poppa?” Armind whispers urgently. “Poppa?” 

It is Levi who wakes anyway, sitting erect and ready for battle in full Dad Mode.

“What’s up, Armin?" Levi asks, his voice slurring with slumber. "Are you OK?”

“I…” Armin hesitates, looking over at his gently snoring father before making a split-second decision to trust the man who is already awake. “I had a nightmare.” 

Levi’s heart aches for the blond boy as he extends his arm and holds out his hand. “That isn’t a surprise; you had a bad scare earlier. Want to come up and tell me about it?”

Armin would have been taken aback by the extension of love and empathy from someone outside of his family, but his distress is too overwhelming for his shyness to catch up as he moves over to Levi’s side of the bed and slides under the covers, grateful for the strong, paternal arms that envelop him. Levi adjusts his body, scooting closer to the center of the California king sized bed, away from Erwin so as not to wake him. 

“Okay, ducks. Tell me all about it.”

“I don’t remember all of it,” Armin whispers as he sniffs away tears. “But I remember being chased and not being able to run.”

“What was chasing you?”

“I couldn’t see it properly, but it had a big, flashing spotlight. Like a helicopter during a car chase.”

“That sounds awful.”

“It was,” Armin says, feeling emboldened by Levi’s validation. “And then when I could run, I kept running in the middle of the street with a lot of cars racing around me. I could not leave the street, though! I couldn’t get to the sidewalk. I kept trying to dodge the cars and the flashing light.”

Levi runs a comforting hand through Armin’s fluffy blond hair, then lightly scratches the little boy’s back through his pajama top before rubbing soothing circles. “It’s a good thing you woke yourself up, then, and got out of there.”

“Oui,” Armin whimpers, rubbing his eyes once more. He feels oddly better having shared the details of his nightmare. “Poppa says I should not be afraid of nightmares because they are not real.” Armin yawns, discovering sleep will soon be in his grasp once more. “He never asks me what they were about, because he says talking about it only makes it worse since they are...mani...manifestations of fear.”

Levi cast a most unimpressed look over at the slumbering blond, whose back is towards them. _Erwin, your brain is too logical for its own good sometimes._ Out loud, Levi merely tells Armin, “Your Poppa is a very smart man, Armin, but he doesn’t know everything.”

Flopping from one side to the other, Eren fights the pressing need to relieve himself until he absolutely cannot hold out, waking himself up just enough to shuffle out of bed and into the en suite, as if on autopilot. He is slightly more cognizant when he returns to the bedroom, dark and quiet now that the sound machine ran its timer, his attention zeroing in on the thrown back covers of Armin's bed. Pausing at the side of the other boy's bed, Eren lifts the covers to see if the smaller boy is somewhere among the sheets. 

"Armin?" Eren whispers confusedly. He looks over his shoulder towards the bathroom, sure that is where he has just come from and unsure where else Armin would venture off. Too sleepy to properly work out alternatives, but too alert to simply go back to sleep, Eren decides to notify his father. Creeping into Poppa's bedroom, Eren carefully tiptoes to the foot of the bed and debates which father to wake. 

"Daddy," Eren whispers, leaning over to Levi's side of the bed. "Daddy?"

Erwin jolts awake mid-snore, his paternal instincts suddenly aware that someone small and young is present and in need. Raising to his elbow, Erwin looks over at Eren. 

"Eren, what's wrong?"

"I can't find Armin," Eren whispers as he goes over to Erwin's side of the bed. The blond man knits his eyebrows as if recalling a rapidly fading dream before craning his neck to see behind him. Levi is facing him across the wide bed, but between them lay a soft patch of baby soft blond hair peeking out from the covers. Erwin turns back to Eren. 

"I think he had a bad dream. He's here."

"Oh." Eren replies, unsure what to do next. Somewhere in his brain, he knows he ought to turn around and go back to bed, but he has never spent the night alone in a bedroom not his own. 

"You want to join the slumber party, kiddo?" Erwin offers, chuckling softly as Eren eagerly nods. Sitting up properly, Erwin then hoists the eight year old up and over his legs to snuggle down next to Armin in the center of his California King Size Bed, a wise purchase if ever there was one. 

* * *

Levi is the first to wake up early Saturday morning, surprised to see Eren in the center of the bed, contorted with his body diagonal, feet digging into Erwin's back, and left hand flopped over Armin's head, tucked and curled under the covers. Gently, Levi takes hold of Eren's hand and gives him a firm squeeze. 

"Little monster, wake up," Levi whispers. "We have to get ready for your show today."

Eren wakes with a start, confusion instantly setting in on his face as his brain comes to, remembering where he ended up last night. 

"Huh? What?"

"Time to go downstairs and eat some oatmeal." Levi says. 

"My tummy hurts," Eren groans as he twists his body, almost feline in its flexibility. Levi purses his lips, irritation washing over him. 

"You're just nervous," Levi insists as he quietly slides out of bed. "This is your chance to show off. C'mon, princess Een, you wanted to join circus school, you have to commit to responsibilities. I want you up and out of bed by the time I get dressed." 

A low emanating growl accompanies Eren with his painfully slow wake up. As he sits up, hair sticking out in every direction, he blinks confusedly at his surroundings, as if waking up in the middle of the night and climbing into bed was perceived to be merely a dream. Stuck in the center of the bed makes for a particularly stealthy exit, crawling up and over the covers to slither down the center between his best friend and Erwin. He is on his feet and rubbing the sleep from his eyes just as Levi reenters the main room, fully dressed. Father gently pushes son from the room by the small of his back as he whispers, "Go get dressed and meet me in the kitchen. Let's hurry."

Levi gets Eren out the door and to the studio in plenty of time for the boy to get his costume on and warm up with the rest of his class. Unsure of the etiquette involved with this new activity his son has taken up, Levi assesses it is best to sit away from the bulk of the parents, as his experience in what meager interaction he has had with them thus far has been a cross between aggressive soccer parents and overbearing theater parent.  _ Karate was so much easier, _ Levi thinks as he glances at the program in his hands. Eren's class is in the latter half of the demo, as the school showcases the most proficient level downward. The theater lights go off, the spotlights are on and the show begins. Despite himself, Levi finds himself not only engaged, but more than a little entertained. In their silly albeit adorably vivid costumes, yarn wigs, and painted faces, the small groups of children tumble, flip, flop, handstand, hula-hoop, bend, twist and knot their bodies in all sorts of ways Levi cannot even dream possible without severe injury. By the time Eren's group takes the floor, Levi has to admit, with some difficulty, that watching this is far more engaging than karate ever was. However, for all of the praise Eren's instructors continually sing to Levi, his son seems distracted, causing a few flubs on what even Levi recognizes as elementary level maneuvers. Maybe _ Eren was more disturbed by last night's drama than he let on? _ Levi feels a stab of guilt at the mere possibility. 

His head instructor is also curious about the sudden backslide in progress, but is tactful enough to let Eren guide the conversation when the demonstration concludes.

"Were you nervous about today, Eren?" His instructor inquires, her French-Canadian accent making Eren's name sound more exotic than it really is. 

Eren shrugs. "No. I just have a tummy ache."

"I see." She quirks an eyebrow at Levi as if they are sharing the same thought, although Levi has not the heart to inform her she is wasting whatever telepathic powers she believes she possesses on him.  
  
"We had a bit of a crisis last night," Levi explains vaguely, rubbing his child's back soothingly. "It kept us up later than usual."

"I see. So, back to business as usual then starting Tuesday, Eren?"

"Yes, Madame Cheryl."

"Very good." She pet his head affectionately before nodding at Levi as if a queen giving her royal dismissal. Levi takes it as such, escorting Eren to the gym bag he keeps a change of clothes in. 

"Does your stomach hurt like you want to throw up?"

Eren shakes his head.

"OK. Well," Levi hands him the gym bag. "All of your clothes are in there. Go into the dressing room and change. I'll wash the face paint off at home."

At home, Eren plays quietly in the backyard with the cats and his toys as Levi works out in his makeshift gym in the garage, the back doors open so he can keep a periodic eye on his son. Their Saturday is uneventful, reminding Levi of the days before the Smiths came into their lives. He is tempted to call them and invite them over for dinner before he stops himself.  _ I am turning into such a lovelorn sap _ , Levi admonishes as he concludes his workout and takes a long swig of water. 

"Daddy, look!" Eren calls from closeby. Levi turns to see Eren pushing a weathered baby stroller nearby, a black tail lazily swishing over the rim. Levi goes to inspect, chuckling as he sees Scoots happily sprawled out in the carriage, pinkish red tongue poking out, and a doll's bonnet on his head for added effect. "Isn't my baby the cutest?" Eren inquiries. 

Levi ruffles the messy brown hair affectionately. "Almost the cutest."

* * *

"Are you okay to go play with Armin today?" Levi asks with concern as he notices his son listlessly slumping in his chair at breakfast the next morning, his eggs and bacon hardly eaten. Eren simply nods."Because if you're feeling really sick, I’ll stay home."

"No!" Eren protests. "I'm okay. It's nothing. Maybe I just gotta poop."

"Maybe." Levi concedes, but there is another thought in his mind. "You know, when we went out with Erwin and Armin on Friday night, you and Armin had a very big scare with that stranger approaching you. Do you think your stomach pains might be from that?"

Eren thinks it over before shrugging. "Maybe?"

"Because I think you were both very brave," Levi adds as he slowly eats the last few bites of his own breakfast. "And no one is mad at you or Armin. I want you to know that."  _ He doesn't get worked up about trivial shit like he used to before Armin came along and mellowed him out _ , Levi reflects.  _ And bottling things up isn't really his usual habit. Why would he start now? _

"OK," Eren replies, offering his father a smile that leaves Levi unconvinced but unwilling to get into a fight with Eren since the boy has no outward signs of illness other than a touch of lethargy. Just the same, Levi gives his son an antiacid as a precaution.

"How did yesterday go?" Erwin asks when Levi drops Eren off just before noon. He hooks an arm around Levi's waist for a quick embrace and kiss, knowing his boyfriend cannot linger. 

"Eh," Levi shrugs evasively, keeping an eye on Eren as he is led out by Armin, too distracted to overhear the answer. Still, Levi remains tactful. "Needs improvement, but lots of potential."

"Fantastic," Erwin replies. "So, will you join us for dinner tonight?"

"Sure," Levi accepts the invitation, knowing that Sunday family dinners are of great importance to Erwin. They are a foreign concept to Levi, save for dimly lit memories of dining with his grandparents and mother on the rare occasions they were not feuding. "I should be done by five-thirty. I'll swing home first for a quick shower and be here by six fifteen, if that won't ruin anything Sasha has cooking."

"That should be fine," Erwin replies, bending forward to capture Levi's lips in a kiss. Levi wants more; both of them can feel the sizzling electricity between them; they break apart reluctantly. "Have a good day."

With a toothy grin, Levi slides his sunglasses down from the crown of his head to his eyes. "Ta ta, Smith."

* * *

“Perfect timing, bab,” Sasha says as Eren and Armin enter the kitchen. “I dished up your dinner.” 

“I’m not hungry,” Eren says, understanding Sasha’s useage of the word dinner; meaning lunch in America. Armin cannot hide his distress at Eren’s rejection of the meal since he is clearly hungry. “But you eat, Armin. I’ll keep you company.” 

“Are you sure?” Armin asks as he sits at the kitchen counter where informal meals are taken. Eren climbs up in the chair next to him, discomfort reading on his face from his stomachache. 

“I’m sure.”

“What do you want to do today?” Armin asks as he tucks into his chicken salad sandwich. Eren shrugs. 

“Poppa says we should play outside because it’s so nice out.” Armin informs his friend, feeling their roles swap as Eren remains quiet and Armin makes up for it by chattering away. “It is warm, though I think it would be bizarre indeed if we went swimming. Unless you want to go swimming, Eren?”

“Maybe,” Eren mumbles. 

“That’s what I thought, too.” 

“Lovey, are you feeling okay?” Sasha asks as she prepares the sink for dish washing. 

“Yes, I’m fine,” Eren insists, forcing himself to perk up a bit. He does not want Sasha to know he is in pain, probably due to constipation or gas or some other completely embarrassing gastrointestinal issue. His smile widens forcefully. “Let’s go in the hot tub?”

“Yeah!” Armin agrees. “I will get the fizzing bubbles and we can watch the colors change.”

After Armin finishes his sandwich, he and Eren change into swim trunks and collect all of the bath toys and fizzing color changing tablets before marching outside to the hot tub where Sasha already has the bubbles roaring away. Once his midsection is under the soothing warm water, Eren begins to believe he is feeling better and is able to put more pep into his play, but that illusion shatters after the boys are done with the hot tub and move indoors to dry off and play video games.

“I know you like Animal Crossing, but would you like to have a go at Star Wars LEGO?” Armin asks as he goes to the video game cabinet. When he receives no reply, Armin looks over his shoulder. “Eren, are you quite alright?” Armin asks nervously as he notices his best friend clutching his stomach. 

“I don’t know.” Eren whines before doubling over and vomiting. Panicked and out of his depth, Armin bypasses further questioning and runs upstairs, calling out for his father.

“Poppa! Poppa, come quickly! Something’s wrong with Eren.”

“Ducks?” Sasha calls from the ground floor den just as Erwin emerges from his office.

“Armin, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t know,” Armin explains. “Eren just threw up.”

By the time Erwin and Sasha reach Eren, the young boy has broken out into a terrible sweat. 

“He’s burning up,” Sasha exclaims. “I can feel his fever before me hand even touched his forehead.”

“My stomach hurts,” Eren wails, tears of fright and pain blinding his vision. 

“I’m taking him to the emergency room at Huntington Memorial,” Erwin announces as he plucks an afghan from the couch and wraps it around Eren before scooping the boy up. “Stay here with Armin and call Levi to let him know. He’ll probably meet me there.”

“He’ll probably beat you there,” Sasha half jokes as she leaves quickly to search for her cell phone.

* * *

“Do you think Eren is going to run away and join the circus?” Farlan asks as he and Levi take a belated lunch break, basking in the unusually warm February sun at the park directly across the street from their garage, using their leather jackets as a makeshift picnic blanket. Knowing he is going to be eating a dinner prepared by the world’s most enthusiastic home cook, Levi grudgingly ordered a kale salad, as green as his envy for Farlan’s meatball sub. 

“Flying spaghetti monster willing,” Levi remarks dryly. “I don’t know how impressive baby cirque du soleil classes look on a college scholarship application.”

“Hah. Well, you’d be surprised. I’m shocked how much of Isabel’s seemingly insignificant crap turned out to be useful for her. Pet-sitting, horse grooming, volunteering at animal shelters and the Wiggle Waggle walk all these years.”

“Yeah, but she is studying animal husbandry and large mammal veterinarian shit. There isn’t a Flying Lewellen major at UCLA.”

The phone in the office rings, echoing easily on their quiet side street and prompting Farlan to put down his sandwich and jog towards it, singing, “Oh, he floats through the air with the greatest of ease; this daring young man on the flying trapeze!” He picks up the phone. “SGV Automotives, this is Farlan.” 

“Jaysus, finally! Farlan, it’s Sasha. I been ringing Levi nonstop.”

“Oh?” Farlan feels a knot in his stomach form and tighten. “What’s up?”

“Eren is really sick. There was no time to wait for Levi; Erwin took him to hospital.”

“Okay…” Farlan keeps his cool as he scans the office for Levi’s keys. Spying them on the desk, he quickly snatches them in his fist and slips them into his pocket. “Which one?”

“Huntington.”

“He’ll be there soon. Thanks.”

They hang up without a formal goodbye. Farlan knows he has seconds to assess how he is going to approach this situation and acts accordingly, quickly and quietly grabbing necessities while locking up on his way back outside. 

“What are you doing?” Levi calls from the curb as he watches Farlan slide the garage doors shut and lock them. The blond man turns to his best friend and holds his hands up as if to prove he is not hiding anything.

“I need you to put your helmet on and get on the back of my bike.”

“What?” Levi demands, glancing down at his helmet. “We have work to do; we can’t knock off and play hooky now.”

“We’re not playing hooky. This is really important. Life or death important, Levi. Just. Please. Put your helmet on and let’s go.”

Fighting the urge to knock his best friend to the ground and demand answers, Levi closes up his salad and picks up the helmet beside him. 

“Why can’t I drive myself to wherever we’re going?” Levi asks. Farlan stares at the inside of his own helmet as he debates his answer.

“Because you will be too distracted to focus on the road and you'll end up killing someone and yourself.”

Levi feels his stomach drop and his mouth go dry. An instinct he should not have shoved aside is rearing its ugly head. “Farlan...what the hell is going on? Who called?”

“It was Sasha. Eren is sick.”

Levi nods, unsure why Farlan employs such dramatics. Perhaps the nanny was hysterical and got Farlan riled up? Eren probably threw up; he most likely has a stomach bug. That’s all. But if his best friend is going to feel better about driving him the three miles to the Smith residence, Levi is not going to stop him.

“Alright, let’s go, then.” As he straddles the back end of Farlan’s Harley, Levi fishes his phone out from his back pocket. He is quick to note that it had been on silent and he missed five phone calls and several text messages. “Holy shit.”

“Come on.” Farlan snaps, waiting until Levi secures his phone and his persons before peeling out.

Farlan knows he is being a shit by omitting the full truth, but he cannot risk Levi flying off the handle and taking his keys back by force. They are not long on the road before Levi notices they are not heading for the Smith house. Farlan hits all of the green lights, though, deafening any questions Levi may otherwise shout at a red light. It is only when they pull into the driveway of Huntington Memorial Emergency Room that Levi is cognizant of the levity of the situation. Farlan barely comes to a complete stop before Levi hops off and rips off his helmet.

“What the fuck is going on!” He shouts as Farlan wrestles the helmet from Levi before his best friend can strike him with it.

“Dude, I’m sorry, but you would have flown into a rage no matter what. At least this way I got you here in one piece.”

Levi knows Farlan is only looking out for him, but he is predictably too worried over Eren to tangle over Farlan’s judgment call. 

“Erwin is here somewhere with him,” Farlan explains. “I’ll park and find you eventually.”

Levi does not even hear his best friend as he tears into the emergency room, wildly scanning around for Erwin or Eren. 

"Hey!" Levi barks as he storms up to the front desk. "Where's my kid? He was taken here by Erwin Smith." Levi can hear the clumsiness of his words even as he demands answers, but he cannot think straight; he can barely breathe. 

"Sir, I am going to need you to calm down. What is your child's name?" 

"Eren Ackerman."

"I don't see anyone by the name of Aaron. Spell it, please?"

"First name is E-R-E-N. Last is A-C-K-E-R-M-A-N."

"Did this Mr. Smith have a legal guardian consent form on his persons?"

"What?” Levi snaps, so incredibly not in the mood for legalese. “Speak English!"

Taking a deep breath to maintain her professionalism in the face of a raging parent, the receptionist explains tightly, "It authorizes medical treatment. He would not have been able to obtain any medical treatment without the legal guardians written permission, unless it was an absolute emergency."

"Lady, why the fuck would my boyfriend take my kid to the ER unless it was a fucking emergency? Jesus Christ! He was probably here only fifteen ago. Are you even looking for him?" Just a security guard was about to step forward and intervene, Levi feels his phone buzzing from a text message. 

  
**[Smith]** Eren getting ultrasound. 

  
“He’s getting an ultrasound,” Levi informs the receptionist as he quickly texts Erwin. “Where will I find him?”  


**[Levi]** In ER

Something in her eyes sparks recognition. “OK, I know who you’re talking about. I’m going to call upstairs and someone will be right down to escort you."

“You can’t just buzz me in and give me directions?” Levi practically whines, flabbergast as to why his child is being withheld. She ignores the question, already on the phone with whoever she needs to contact to get Levi access, but hands him a clipboard with a stack of papers. “Fill these out.” 

"It can wait, let me see my son."

"It cannot wait, Mr. Ackerman," she insists. "Sign the consent and insurance forms now, and you can fill out the rest once you get back."

Less than five minutes crawl by of active pacing with the bulk of the paperwork still waiting for his attention before Erwin enters the waiting room, a doctor on his heels. 

"Levi!"

"Erwin," Levi races to him and grabs the sleeve of his worn Thomas Dolby tee shirt. "What happened?"

"Sir, are you the legal guardian of Eren Ackerman?" the doctor cuts in.

"Yes, I am," Levi turns to her, unsure who he ought to be paying attention to. 

"Follow me. I’ll explain what’s going along the way.”

“I don’t know where Farlan disappeared to,” Levi quickly explains to Erwin. “Keep an eye out for him?” Leaving Erwin behind to find Farlan, Levi follows the doctor, his steel eyes blinking hard under the harsh fluorescent lighting against sterile white halls. Men and women in scrubs and uniforms go about their business around them as Levi reels from the abruptness of his life going topsy turvy. 

“We think your son has ruptured appendix,” the doctor explains as they descend further into labyrinthine hallways. “We took blood to see if he has an infection and currently Eren is having an ultrasound, which we’re about to assess right now. If it’s what we suspect, your son is going to be prepped for surgery as soon as possible.”

“Shit,” Levi gasps, running his free hand nervously through his hair. 

“We need you to fill out those forms and get them back to us straightaway. We need a list of Eren’s allergies, family history, any medications Eren is taking, including vitamins. The pink one explains our privacy policy, which you can read over later. The form on the bottom authorizes us to operate, and I recommend starting on it to expedite things.”

The turn a corner and enter a darkened room where Eren is on a gurney, his exposed swollen abdomen covered in translucent goop as an ultrasound tech pushes a wand against his belly.

“DADDY!” Eren sobs. Rushing to him, Levi quickly kisses his little boy’s forehead before settling on the edge of the bed, holding Eren’s hand.

“I’m so sorry I’m late, little monster.” Levi apologizes. “But I’m here now.” Reconciling himself to remain as stoic and strong as possible, Levi watches the doctor, nurse and tech concentrate on the image on the screen. 

“Well, young man,” the doctor says after seeming satisfied. “You have had quite the adventure today.”

“Uh-huh.”

“We’re going to help make you feel better, okay? You’re going to have appendectomy, where we remove your appendix.”

“Don’t I need it?” Eren asks. Levi chuckles despite the seriousness of the situation. 

“No,” the doctor reassures her young charge. “And you’re going to feel so much better afterwards.”

“How long will he be here?” Levi asks, fighting foul memories of those dark last days of his mother’s life.

“Depends on what we find,” the doctor answers truthfully. “He did sustain a rupture, so I would like him for a few days to make sure he gets back on track.”

“Can I still be an acrobat?” Eren asks.

She looks at Levi for explanation as the tech stifles his laughter at the seeming non-sequitur. 

“Theatrical gymnastics,” Levi explains quickly, a term he uses to sum up Eren's new endeavor. 

“Once you give your body adequate time to heal," the doctor reassures Eren, "I do not see any reason why you can’t go back to the circus.”

“Okay.” Eren agrees.

“Okay?” She directs to Levi, who holds up the clipboard. 

“On it.”

“Good. OK, we’re going to try and get you in right away. We have to sort out the details and get your all prepped. Eren, you’re going to get an IV and Daddy is going to fill out some paperwork for the hospital.”

After getting Eren situated in the preoperative room, complete with an IV that was not as dramatic of a scene as Levi feared, they settle in and Eren starts to drift off, weary and woozy from pain medication administered before Levi’s arrival.  
  


**[Erwin]** Update?

**[Levi]** Waiting to get into OR

**[Erwin]** Give Farlan a task. He’s driving me insane.

Levi smirks to himself before firing off a text to Farlan.

**[Levi]** Going to be here for a few days. Go to my house, pack clothes for Eren and me. Feed cats. Grab Mickey.

**[Farlan]** UNCLE FARLAN TO THE RESCUE!!!!!!!

Various medical staff come in to take his insurance info and the paperwork consenting to Eren’s operation. They meet with the charge nurse, who will act as a liaison between the surgeon and Levi, the surgeon himself pops by to give a rundown of the procedure, and an anesthesiologist, who explains the process of anesthesia step by step.

"Has your son or anyone in the family ever had a reaction to anesthesia?"

Levi hesitates, his brain stuck on the question for a moment as if struggling with himself. Finally, he answers, "Not that I'm aware of."  
  
Just shy of an hour later, a small crowd of medical staff including nurses and orderlies gather to wheel Eren into the operating room.

"I'm scared, Daddy," Eren confesses, suddenly very awake as he clings to the stainless steel bars of his gurney. 

"No reason to be scared, little monster," Levi reassures him, running a hand through his hair. "I'll be right here when you wake up, okay?"

"P-promise?"

"Cross my heart,” Levi marks an X over his tastefully ripped up tank top, right at his heart. “I love you."

"Love you, too."

"Sir," the orderly says gently. "I have to take him inside now."

Levi nods, refusing to show any sort of emotional failure within eyeshot of his son. 

A nurse is waiting beside him, patient and content to allow Levi to gather his wits and dictate when he is ready to be led to the waiting room. 

"The charge nurse will find you here and give you updates as soon as they're able to."

Erwin is soon sitting beside him, an arm draping around Levi's shoulders as they sit close on a small and uncomfortable couch in the depressing waiting room, no natural light anywhere to be found.

“You know," Erwin says, "we would still be wasting away in that miserable Emergency Room lobby were it not for Eren’s timely puke and my astounding abilities to Jedi mind trick people into being more efficient.”

Levi wants to make a crack at Erwin’s nerdiness, but he is weary and distracted by a particularly foul odor emanating from his boyfriend’s tee-shirt.

“Did Eren upchuck on your Thomas Dolby shirt?” Levi asks, finally taking notice of a moist stain blemishing half of the black tee.

“Hm?" Erwin looks down and tugs at the hem of his shirt. "Oh, yes. I suppose he did.”

Levi sighs, slumping lower into his seat. “I’m sorry.”

Erwin shrugs, nonchalant. “Don’t worry about it. I can find another one on eBay. I’m loaded.”

Levi smiles wanly in appreciation for Erwin’s efforts at making a joke.

* * *

The longest hour of Levi's life crawls by before the charge nurse shows up.  
  
"How is he?" Levi asks, leaping out of his seat. Her face is neutral, but there is something forced about her demeanor that Erwin notices.    
  
"Mr. Ackerman, have a seat."   
  
Levi immediately sits as if earning reward for good behavior, prompting Erwin to throw an arm around his shoulders and give him a squeeze for good luck. The charge nurse pulls forward a square footstool to sit across from him.   
  
"Eren is still in the OR. The surgeon found that the infection had spread and, at some point while we were working on him, he went into anaphylactic shock."   
Erwin tightens his grip around Levi's shoulders as his boyfriend's eyes widen in shock.

"The signs are not as evident as they are when someone is awake, but we did catch it. The team is currently trying to figure out the source - it could be antibiotics, it could be the anesthesia. They had to get him closed up as soon as possible before administering epinephrine therapy, or adrenaline."  
  
"Isn't that dangerous on a little boy?" Erwin asks, rubbing Levi's back as the distressed father places his head between his knees.   
  
"It is the only way to get him out, and it did work."

"What about the appendix?" Levi asks, raising his head a little, his hair and in his reddened, tear stained eyes.

"Yes, it does need to be revisited, but not before we run tests and see what caused this. You have to appreciate, Mr. Ackerman, that this kind of reaction is incredibly rare, though a number of triggers could be the culprit. Anything from a latex allergy to rare genetic disorders, such as p seudocholinesterase deficiency . It is imperative that you think back...have you or anyone in your family ever had adverse reactions to antibiotics, sedatives, or anesthesia?"

"I..." Levi begins, feeling the weight of both the doctor and Erwin's intense gaze as they await his answer. Erwin...the dear, sweet man who looks on him with love and trust. 

The charge nurse’s pager goes off suddenly. "I have to answer this. Mr. Ackerman, I'll give you a moment to think through this. I know it is a lot to absorb and tough to be put on the spot, but the faster we can diagnose this, the faster we can address the issue and take whatever measures needed to continue with the appendix removal. We want to get this taken care of before the infection spreads." She rises. "Excuse me."

After the charge nurse exits, Levi gets up and walks into a nearby mens washroom. He does not realize Erwin following him until he sees the blond man in the mirror after looking up from splashing cold water on his face.

"You have to think back, Levi," Erwin says, in full CEO mode as he paces the otherwise empty washroom. "Have you ever had your tonsils out, or broken an arm? Do you remember your grandparents or mother ever mentioning a medication that you could not take?"

"Erwin..." Levi mumbles, gripping the edge of the counter, breathing heavily as he desperately attempts to push out the words he has been dreading to say out loud. 

"Better yet, maybe turn this into process of eliminations. Let's see, what are the most common antibiotics? Levi, have you ever taken Penicillin, amoxicillin, cephalexin? Oh!"

"Erwin..." Levi's voice rises, his tone stern. 

"Dental work! They put you under a local anesthetic for that. Do you recall ever having a reaction to that? I know you don't like to think back on these memories, Levi, but,"

"It doesn't matter!" Levi shouts, desperate to get Erwin's attention.

"What?" Erwin asks, bewilderment on his dumb, handsome face. 

"None of it matters, Erwin!" Levi snarls, a dam that has breached. "It doesn't fucking matter if me or my mom or my second cousin twice removed ever broke out into hives from penicillin!"

"How can you say-"

"Don't you get it, goddamn it?" Levi is near hysterical as he shoves Erwin against the smooth white tiles of the bathroom wall, a better alternative to smashing the mirrors as his initial impulse dictated. "It doesn't fucking matter because  _ Eren is not my son!" _


	15. Mad World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Their tears are filling up their glasses  
> No expression, no expression  
> Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow  
> No tomorrow, no tomorrow' 
> 
> \- Tears for Fears (Mad World)

"What do you mean, Eren isn't your son?"

"He isn't mine," Levi reiterates, adding for clarity, "Not by blood, anyway."

"So," Erwin's usually sharp mind is struggling to process such a profound revelation. "Why didn't you say something to the nurse?"

"I wrote it in the paperwork!" Levi exclaims desperately. "I couldn't say it when the first guy asked me in front of Eren..." Levi takes a gulping breath of air and pushes his hair back futilely.

"You mean..." Erwin begins, horrorstruck, "Eren doesn't know he's adopted?"

_Adopted._

Levi flinches at the word, though it is not the word itself nor the even the meaning behind it that makes him smarten; it is the lie he has been carrying in his heart. He can only shake his head to confirm Erwin's question. Feeling like he has had the breath knocked out of him, Erwin straightens rigidly, wide-eyed as if he is seeing Levi clearly for the first time. He holds his palms up in defeat.

"I need to get some air." Without further explanation, he exits the restroom and makes a beeline for the closest exit, clamoring down the stairwell to the ground floor towards the parking valet out front. He bumps into Farlan in the main lobby.

"Erwin, hey!" Farlan calls as he spins around, a duffle bag swinging in his right hand. "Where are you going? Where's Levi? Is Eren OK?"

Erwin casts the other man a long glance of weariness before discovering he cannot reply and keeps going onward. Farlan spies Levi rounding the bend of the hallway looking after Erwin but making no effort to stop him.

"Levi! What's going on?" Farlan asks as he jogs over to his best friend.

"I have just fucked up my whole life in a forty-eight hour span is what's going on."

Stopping himself just in the nick of time from handing over his ticket to the valet, Erwin instead sits at a bus stop bench just up the street from the hospital, feeling very foolish for having abandoned Levi in his hour of need. He does not make it a habit to run away during tough moments, but Levi's double confession was too much for Erwin to digest in that precise second and environment. How can Levi be so secretive, not from him necessarily, but from Eren? This is not the era when adoption is taboo; for all of his problem solving brilliance, Erwin cannot work out a theory on why Levi would keep such secrecy. He knows that there are parts of Levi's past that the raven haired man is keen to stay mum on, but this level of cloak and dagger is beyond egregious. He takes out his cell phone and goes through his contacts, suddenly needing to talk to someone.

"Hey, Erwin! How's it going?" Hange answers.

"Hello, Hange. Not well, actually. I want to ask you something."

"Shoot."

"Did you know Eren is adopted?"

"Of course."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"It's not my business to tell you, Erwin."

He can hear the disappointment in her voice as soon as the answer flies out her mouth.

“No, of course not,” Erwin assures her with a heavy sigh. “I merely thought Levi and I were past this level of trust issues.” Erwin gives a start when Hange answers this comment with uproarious laughter.

“Oh, Erwin. You know you mean the world to me, but not everything is about you.”

Somehow, this admonishment is comforting to Erwin and he feels his muscles relaxing, tension slowly releasing its seize on his gut.

“Thanks, Hange. Sometimes I need to hear that.”

“Anytime. By the way, how did you find out?”

Erwin is about to launch into the story when some instinct kicks, preventing him from going forward. “Actually, it’s not really my place to say.”

"Good man," Hange compliments as she would one of her pupils. 

* * *

  
"Mr. Ackerman."

They turn to see the charge nurse along with the surgeon waiting for them. Their faces are neutral, something Levi has now come to distrust.

"We need you to follow us, please."

"Why can't we talk here?" Levi asks suspiciously, looking at them to Farlan.

"There is much to discuss and it will be better in a less public area."

They turn to leave, giving Levi no choice but to follow. He nods for the other man to follow.

"Where's Eren?" Farlan hisses nervously, goosebumps appearing on his arms as his phobia of hospitals rises. "I don't get it, why are they taking us deep into the belly of the beast?"

They are led into an uncomfortably snug conference room. Levi stubbornly stands as the surgeon and charge nurse seat themselves.

"We are still waiting on results for the possible source of Eren's reaction, but it is looking like pseudocholinesterase deficiency. One of the side effects of this deficiency is that it takes longer to come out of the anesthesia. On average, this just means a few hours with the assistance of a breathing tube. However," the surgeon took a deep breath before proceeding. "When we were attending to Eren during the anaphylactic episode, he seized."

Levi draws a sharp intake of breath, his whole body going rigid.

"Eren is currently stable, but not out of the woods. Because of the lack of oxygen and the seizure, we cannot at this time predict when he may wake up."

Levi's nostrils flare as he slams his palms on the surface of the table.

"My kid is in a fucking coma?!" he hollers, feeling himself pulled into a seat by Farlan.

"Careful, dude,” Farlan whispers. “You narrowly avoided getting arrested once this weekend. You have to hold it together for Eren."

Levi is too angry to cry, too shocked to register any emotion but outrage, but he staves off his temper for the sake of his son. When the medical staff feel Levi is ready, they continue to speak.

"We would like to transfer him over to Mattel Children's at UCLA as soon as possible. We are already in talks with physicians and specialists that have more training in these kinds of delicate cases."  
  
"Why move him across the city?" Levi asks. "Aren't you people qualified?"

"This is getting further into a territory our facilities are not equipped to handle," the surgeon replies, his ego showing no trace of wound from Levi's words. "We are a small children's ward within a regional hospital; the appendicitis is common, but all of the complications that have risen should be dealt by more capable hands with the resources Eren will need."

Reluctantly, Levi acknowledges his understanding and acceptance with a single nod.

"Is there anyone you know of, biologically, to talk to about Eren's medical history?" The charge nurse asks carefully. Levi shakes his head.

"I only knew his mother," Levi replies. "And she hasn't been in the picture since he was an infant."

"Alright," the surgeon concedes, rising. "Let's get your son over to UCLA. The team will be waiting for you in the PICU."

"How are we getting there?" Levi asks.

"Medical transport will take Eren and yourself. Your family can meet you down there."

“I already got some things packed,” Farlan reminds Levi. “I can take it down and trail the ambulance, if you want.” Farlan looks to Levi for approval, unsure what his best friend wants. Levi shrugs, his head too cloudy to focus on anything else as he follows the medical team out.  


* * *

The longer Erwin sits outside, the sillier he feels. Feeling his head has been cleared, Erwin rises and returns to the hospital only to meet Farlan directly inside.

“Hey, I know you two are quarreling, but I feel like I should give you the latest update.” Farlan fills Erwin in on Eren’s condition and subsequent transfer. “I’m heading over there now, but hospitals make me squirrely, so I'm not going to hang around for long, if you want to switch places with me.”  
  
“I don’t know if Levi wants to see me right now,” Erwin admits.  
  
“Levi isn't going to leave Eren's side until the kid wakes up; he needs someone to support him. I won’t be much use to him there since I have to hold down the fort at home _and_ work. Besides. I know he’s probably more worried about you writing him off than vice versa.”

Erwin thinks on Farlan’s words before asking, “How can I help?”

“I’m going to jet over there right now. Why don’t you take it easy for a little while, maybe pick up some dinner for you and Levi and bring it to the hospital. We can switch then."

"That sounds like a good idea." He sighs with evident weariness in his voice as he pinches the bridge of his nose. “I have to report back to Sasha and Armin anyway.”

“Yeah. And best to change that shirt. It’s covered in puke.”

* * *

By the time they reach Mattel Children's Hospital UCLA, Levi feels like he is caught in some torture chamber; a labyrinth of gut-wrenching tableaus, each more horrific than the next as he walks through the PICU, or pediatric intensive care unit, where children in critical care and other delicate states are carefully watched over, a nurse stationed outside of each room. Though he was able to steel himself Eren’s situation for the duration of the transport, Levi is visibly perturbed at the sight of his son lying on his back with shallow breaths induced by a mechanical ventilator latched onto his mouth, in a sterile and otherwise quiet room. Inspecting the unfamiliar machinery Eren is hooked up to, Levi then gently smooths back Eren's messy brown hair as a nurse enters the room with a chart, going over to a whiteboard on the wall and writing logistical information.

"My name is Gunther, and I'll be Eren's nurse until tonight."

"Can he hear me?" Levi asks, carefully leaning onto the bed.

"It doesn't hurt to talk to him," Gunther says with a sympathetic smile. “I know the doctors are holding a meeting right now and will be up here shortly. Is there anything I can do for you in the meantime?”

“No, thanks,” Levi says, watching as the nurse exits to his station directly outside of Eren’s room. Unzipping and kicking off his boots, Levi cautiously scoots onto the bed next to Eren and lays on his side, grateful for his short stature for the first time in his life. Lying close in the farce of snuggling, Levi feels every excruciating minute tick by with every blip and beep and sigh of each machine. The weird medley is interrupted with the arrival of Farlan.

"Oh, fuck no," Farlan says, stopping at the threshold of the door, duffle over shoulder and helmet gripped in his fist.

"Get back here!" Levi demands, sitting upright.

Farlan shakes his head vehemently. "Levi, I love you. You're my best friend, you're the wind beneath my fucking wings, but I can't handle this."

"What, like it's a piece of cake for me?" Levi cries as he turns to stare down the blond man. "I'm holding my shit together by a goddamn thread. Now quit your bitching and get your ass in here."

Grumbling under his breath, Farlan obeys, heading to the back of the room to set down the duffle bag and sit in the vinyl chair in the corner. "Levi, I think this chair turns into a bed," Farlan says as he manipulates a wide vinyl chair in the back corner of the room until it elongates and unfolds into a single size bed. "Shit, I never thought I'd see a bed smaller than those bath mat thin mattresses they made us sleep on in juvenile hall."

Levi half smiles as he carefully arranges the tubes and wires connecting his son to various machines and equipment. A team of new doctors and their residents soon join them.

"We have been going over Eren's case," says the lead doctor. "We believe the seizure was a one off, but we are going to keep a close eye on him just to be safe."

"Will he be like this forever?" Levi asks. "Is he a vegetable?" He knows his ignorance is showing, but what little knowledge of medical world has been given by the crude terms of Hollywood writers.

"No, his brain function stabilized after the seizure, which is a very good sign. I cannot give you hard and fast guarantees, but it is my educated guess that Eren will eventually regain full consciousness."

"When?" Levi asks.

"Unfortunately, I am not certain."

They talk about care, even though it is all Greek to Levi, and soon he is alone with Farlan and his sleeping beauty of a son.

"What should I do?" Farlan asks as he fidgets around the room.

"For starters, you're going to have into move into my house until Eren and I come home. I can't have the cats alone for more than a night. It's unfair."

"Sure,” Farlan nods agreeably, continuing to fuss and fidget as they sit quietly, listening to the steady beeps of the machines.

"I really fucked it up with Erwin," Levi confesses. "I don't deserve him."

Relief washes over Farlan, grateful for a conversation not centering on the comatose little boy in front of him.

"That's not fucking true," Farlan snaps, "so shut your whore mouth."

Levi smirks; Farlan knows just what to say to keep his mind occupied.

"I ran into him outside Huntington Hospital just before I drove over here. He wants to be here for you, so don’t think him down for the count just yet. You would have told him about Eren eventually."

"Would I, though?" Levi asks, more to himself than to his friend. "I've had every opportunity to tell Eren and still haven't."

"That's different."

"I don't know. Most days, I forget myself. It isn't until Eren starts asking me questions out of the blue that I even remember he isn't mine." Levi quickly darts his attention back at the little boy, as if the open and frank dialogue between he and Farlan will prompt full consciousness in Eren. "Hell, if it weren't for me pulling out all of the stops to milk a sob story and earn that scholarship to his school, I'd never have told them." He chews on the side of his thumb nervously. "Did Erwin look super pissed off?"

"No, he looked dazed, like he was having an out of body experience."

"He's so open and honest with me about everything," Levi says with a shake of his head. "I want to be that way with him, but I'm just not cut from the same fabric, you know what I mean?"

"Sure I do. He's a premium cut of gold silk and you're a used burlap sack." Farlan cackles at his own joke, prompting Levi to chuckle despite the seriousness of the situation.

* * *

  


Sasha and Armin are cuddled up together on the couch when Erwin returns home. He can tell from their expressions that although they may have had the television on, neither of them were focused on it.

“Is Eren alright?” Armin dares to inquire. Erwin is hyper aware that he must choose his words as wisely as he ever has before.

“Eren is very sick,” Erwin says with an even, calm tone, “but he is in the best medical care possible.”

“May I visit him?” Armin asks pleadingly.

“Not tonight; Eren was transferred to a hospital far across the city and because I am going to bring Levi dinner, I will be staying quite late. Well past your bedtime.”

“You can make him a get well card, ducks,” Sasha suggests helpfully. 

“Will you take it to him, Poppa?” Armin asks.

“Of course,” Erwin says with a soft, sad smile, ruffling Armin's hair before sliding his hand down to take Armin’s, gently pulling him into a hug, which Armin returns. It is not long in the evening before his phone is buzzing with a text message from Farlan.

**[Farlan]** Hey. I’ve got about an hour left in me. Switch?  


**[Erwin]** I’m on my way. Send me Levi’s dinner request.

  
“What do you want for dinner?” Farlan asks as he idly flips through an old issue of Entertainment Weekly.

“I’m not hungry and I’m not leaving,” Levi automatically replies from the chair he is uncomfortably curled up on, keeping his eyes on Eren as if the boy will spring to consciousness any second.

“First of all, I know you aren’t leaving. Which is why I’m having food delivered. Secondly, you have to eat. Your charming personality needs fuel to fight doctors.”

“Good point,” Levi says before running his hand through his hair as he contemplates food. “You know, with all of this fuckery going on, all I want is to stuff myself on a chili cheese burger.”

“Can do,” Farlan says as he quickly fires off a text to Erwin.

**[Farlan]** Go to original Tommy Burger on Beverly. Double Chili Cheeseburger. The works. Fries. Large Root Beer.

**[Erwin]** Copy that. Just getting into my car now.

Levi suddenly leaps off the bed and onto his feet before beginning to rummage through the room. “I’m not going to just sit here with my thumb up my ass and do nothing.”

“That’s Erwin’s job,” Farlan jests, never taking his eyes off the magazine.“Hur hur.”

“Your mom’s job.”

“Hey, she offered you a friend discount.”

“Here.” Levi tosses Farlan a pen, hitting him on the head.

“Hey!” Farlan cries as he drops the magazine, scrambling to find the pen before a small pad of paper follows, clocking him on the right temple. “Jesus!”

“We’re waking this kid up,” Levi declares as he paces with a new sense of purpose. “He needs to be surrounded by familiar stuff and sounds. Here’s a new list of crap to bring me tomorrow: CD Player along with the best of Princess Eren’s collection: Katy Perry, Lady GaGa, Madonna, The Beatles, Joan Jett, Daft Punk. I noticed a DVD player behind that TV, so grab: The Goonies, Little Mermaid, STAR WARS, Duck Tales, Beauty and the Beast, any movie Eren’s ever been obsessed with for the majority of his life. Grab Batty and the pink ladybug, too.”

“Pink bug,” Farlan dictates as he furiously writes. “Got it.”

“I know hospitals freak you out,” Levi says compassionately. “Thanks for sticking around with me.”

“Anytime, compadre,” Farlan grins as he stuffs the list in his pocket before chucking the pen on the chair. “I’m going to get started on this.” He pats the pocket with the list inside. “Keep me updated. I’ll be back as soon as I can close up shop tomorrow.”

“You’re not going to stick around for food?” Levi asks as Farlan approaches him.

“Nah,” Farlan waves off the notion. “Don’t worry, though, I already put in your order. I’ll grab something on the way home. Besides,” Farlan pauses to suggestive pat Levi’s shoulder, “I hear tell the delivery boy is fucking smokin’.”

If the stress of the day were not devastatingly gargantuan, Levi would have caught onto Farlan’s game. As it is, the raven haired man can only stare quizzically as his best friend departs, leaving Levi alone with his comatose son and a chasm of stress.

Carefully, Levi resumes his position next to Eren on the bed, curling around the wires, tubes and other medical sundry that leaves the single father queasy. The weight of the day is pressing on his consciousness, threatening sleep despite Levi’s stubborn will to stay alert, ready for any change in his son’s condition. Gently, he slides his hand under Eren’s, where an IV has been inserted and a small bruise mars the otherwise olive skin.

“Mom,” Levi whispers under his breath as his lids droop over steel colored eyes, trying to remain fixed on Eren’s face as if he may wake into abrupt alertness any second. “I wish you were here.” It has been a long time since he has talked to his mother out loud; too long by his estimation. _Maybe the topic of mothers are a sore spot for me overall_ , Levi thinks to himself as his index finger traces the line patterns on Eren’s hand. He dozes in and out until the intoxicating smell of chili and pickles catches under his nose, alerting his stomach that food is nearing. Sitting up in anticipation of a pimple faced delivery boy, Levi is stunned to see Erwin enter Eren’s room, two grease stained bags from _Tommy’s Original Hamburger_ in his hands.

"Levi," Erwin begins as he takes a hesitant step forward, unsure if Levi even wants to see him or not. "I'm sorry I walked out."

"I don't blame you," Levi says with a helpless shrug, looking every bit as worn out as he feels. "I would've done the same."

Erwin steps closer, a lopsided smile on his face as he lifts the paper bags. “I brought you dinner.”

“Thank you, I’m starving,” Levi says as he carefully extracts himself from Eren’s bed. The night time nurse, whose name Levi has already forgotten, pops her head into the room.

“I’m here if you want to go downstairs to the dining commons to eat.”

Levi merely glares at her in response, his expression conveying the suggestion as pure insanity. Meekly, she returns to her station outside the room.

“I only leave this room when I have to piss and shit,” Levi states as they make a picnic area out of a narrow table on wheels and the folding chair bed.

“That’s a relief; I thought you might have demanded a bedpan.” He pauses before hitting his boyfriend with a hard reality: “You will have to shower eventually.”

“Shut up and hand me my fries, Smith.”

They sit in a comfortable silence as they begin to eat dinner. Food in his belly and a familiar presence to ease his nerves and ground his thoughts allow Levi to recall life outside of this situation.

“How is Armin?” 

“Worried,” Erwin answers honestly. “But stronger than he appears. He made a get well card for Eren. I’ll get it out when my fingers aren’t covered in chili cheese and grease.”

“Does he know what happened?” Levi asks with concern for the other boy in his voice.

“I omitted certain details,” Erwin admits heavily. “He is a natural worrier, but it’s too early to give him details.”

“I’m sorry this happened on your watch,” Levi shakes his head as he cuts up his burger, chili spilling over the sides, preventing him from being able to pick it up with his hands. “It shouldn’t have. I should have taken better notice-”

A larger hand reaches over and covers his own.

“Stop.” Erwin gently commands. “There is no good that will come from that train of thought.”

 _He’s right_ , Levi thinks, translating his feelings with a single nod and continuing to eat his dinner.

“I assume you won’t take my offer of getting you a hotel room so you can at least sleep in something more comfortable than this vinyl chair?”

An apologetic grin softens the hard shake of Levi’s head. “But thanks for the offer.”  
  
“I am going to clear whatever I can this week, to be at your disposable.” Erwin states matter of factly, in a tone Levi recognizes being useless to argue against. “I’ll probably end up in a hotel down here somewhere; please feel free to tell Farlan and Isabel to use it as well, as I am sure we can rotate out when our schedules permit.” Erwin’s lips quirk into a grin. “So you don’t get sick of any one of us trying to be useful.”

“You’re all useful _and_ wanted,” Levi admits. “I need to have someone at my house at all times, because of the cats. But rotating down here will be nice.” Levi puts down his plastic cutlery and takes a sip of his root beer. “It fucking sucks doing this alone.”

“You’re not alone,” Erwin protests. “I can be here, Levi, really, I just don’t want get underfoot-”

“No,” Levi interrupts. “That’s not what I meant. I mean.” He huffs as his emotions translate into thoughts and subsequently attempt to form words. “I mean, raising a kid. Going through these really horrible, shitty fucking moments alone with no one else. I’m the lone parent, the one has to make all of these godawful fucking decisions and there is no one else to bounce ideas off of, or tell me another point of view. No one that loves this kid as much as I do, who feels this fucking vortex of pain and helplessness I feel looking at him in that bed.”

Erwin sits quietly, listening to his boyfriend spew and rant when a slow realization dawns on him.

“You didn’t start out as a single parent, did you?”

Levi keeps his eyes fixed on a point across the room, waiting a beat before he answers. “No, I didn’t.”

Erwin did not push the topic, though Levi adds, "Soon, Smith. I promise."

Erwin nods before rewinding the conversation.

“While I don’t know what this exact situation feels like, I do empathize with the struggles of being a single parent and having no one to support or counter my decisions.”

“I know you know,” Levi mumbles as he munches on a handful of fries. “That’s why I said it.”

A smile tugs at Erwin’s mouth. “Well, while I do adore Eren, I cannot imagine anyone on this planet ever loving him as much as you do, Badtz. And you are always welcome to bounce decisions off of me.”

“I do,” Levi plainly states. “You think I would have let him join that circus gymnastics school? Pffft. That was all you, Smith.”

They finish their meal with continuing chatter, and were it not for the steady beep of Eren’s machines and the occasional check in from the nurse, Levi can almost pretend he is in any other setting. After food, they huddle up together and take a gander at television, settling on a crappy show about people buying vacation homes abroad. It does nothing for Levi except pass the time, his only comfort is Erwin’s arm around his shoulders.

“It’s getting late,” Levi finally admits as he yawns deeply. “You should get home.”

“If I must,” Erwin concedes, catching Levi’s yawn as he stands up to stretch.

“Thanks for bringing me dinner,” Levi says as he walks Erwin to the door of Eren’s room. “I would have sat here and starved.”

“Stubborn as a mule,” Erwin says affectionately as he kisses the top of Levi’s head. Wanting more, Levi rises up on the ball of his feet wrapping his arms around his blond boyfriend for a fiercely tight hug. “I love you, Badtz. I’m here for you.”

“I know,” Levi mutters into the folds of Erwin’s jacket.

“I will be back soon. Call me if you need anything, even if it is just to talk.”

Levi nods before they kiss one more time as Erwin exits, leaving Levi alone to face the gravity of his situation.


	16. Life is What Happens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Close your eyes  
> Have no fear  
> The monster's gone  
> He's on the run and your daddy's here
> 
> Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful  
> Beautiful boy  
> Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful  
> Beautiful boy.'
> 
> \- John Lennon (Beautiful Boy / Darling Boy)

“Here, kitty, kitty,” Farlan coos and calls, shaking the bag of cat kibble. It only works with one of the cats, who rushes out from Levi’s bedroom and into the kitchen, meowing for food. “Sorry, little guy. Daddy isn’t coming home tonight, you gotta deal with me.” He uses the scoop to measure out the kibble into one bowl, crouching to set it down and pet the sleek black cat. “Where’s your brother, huh?” Farlan gently takes hold of the collar to determine which cat he has left to find. “OK, you’re Scuttles. So, where’s Scoots? Scoots!” Farlan stands and begins to walk around the little house. “Scoooooooooots! Scooooots, you little shit. You better not have run away; Uncle Farlan can only handle one crisis at a time.” He hears a faint meow towards the back of the house and follows it. 

“Scoots, buddy? Are you okay?” Another meow, and Farlan is not sure if it is coming from the lean-to utility room, outside, or elsewhere. “One more meow, kitty, kitty.” The cat obliges and Farlan quickly deduces the cat is in Eren’s bedroom, as he dots into the hall and flicks the light on in the back bedroom. There, in a child’s play cradle, is Scoots, curled up on a haphazardly discarded sweater Eren must have been wearing. He lets out a soul crushing, drawn out meow of sorrow, as if his feline instincts sense that something is amiss with his best human friend. 

“Oh, buddy,” Farlan sighs, his heart breaking for this poor black cat. “I know. I miss him, too. He’ll pull through, I -” but Farlan stops himself before making promises he knows he cannot keep, even to a cat. “I hope.”

* * *

Erwin gets home close to one in the morning and, against his normal sense of propriety, shoots Farlan a text message.

**[Erwin]** Farlan, I am sorry to trouble you so late. Do you have a couple of minutes to talk?

**[Farlan]** Can’t sleep either?

**[Erwin]** I just got home, actually. Levi told me you intend to go to the hospital tomorrow evening. I can go first thing in the morning. He said you are bringing a bag of Eren’s items? Would you like me to take that over in the morning? Levi seems antsy to have it sooner rather than later.

**[Farlan]** F yes. Thnx. i open shop @ 9. U can grab it here at L house or garage b4 830.

**[Erwin]** I’ll swing by Levi’s house at 8:00 am and take it at that time. Also, would you like for Armin and I to feed the cats tomorrow evening? I know Armin will feel he needs to help somehow and that is the only task I can think of that would be of actual use and satisfy his need to be useful.

**[Farlan]** YEAH! These cats are all like ;( ;( ;( they miss lil dude so bad. They know whats up. Cats are all mystic n shit.

**[Erwin]** Armin will do his best. Thank you, I have held you up long enough. Goodnight.

* * *

Sasha worries her bottom lip as she gently pushes the eggs in the skillet, occasionally glancing up to gaze at the back of Armin's head as he waits at the counter bar for his breakfast. Waking to find her employer with one foot nearly out the door by 7:30, Sasha was given the full details on Eren's condition. She is sworn to secrecy from her young charge, naturally, but can tell as soon as he arrives for his breakfast that his mind is preoccupied with thoughts of his best friend.

"You sure you want to go to school, Ducks?" Sasha asks. "I'm sure your dad would understand if you skipped."

"No, I want to go," Armin insists. "Unless I can go to the hospital instead?"

"Not until Levi and your dad give us the go ahead. Sorry, love." Her phone buzzes with a phone call from Connie, and she slides the eggs off the heat before answering it.

"Hey sweet potato! How you? Are you still picking me up for school?"

"Yeah, I'll be there," Sasha assures her friend. 

"You still want to go to the Fairfax Farmer's Market tonight?"

"Oh," Sasha glances up at Armin again. "Sorry, bap, I don't think I'll be able to make it tonight. We uh, had a little family emergency yesterday and we're not out of the woods yet." 

Armin whips around in his chair to stare incredulous at his nanny. 

"Bummer," Connie laments. "I hope everyone is okay?"

"Cheers for that. I need to finish the brekkie here so I can get me Ducks onto school. See you later. Kisses." 

"Not out of the woods?" Armin cries. "Poppa said Eren is in the best medical care possible."

"Your dad also said Eren is very sick," Sasha reminds Armin, trying to retain a stern tone so as not to give anything away as she scrapes the eggs onto a plate and adds a piece of hot buttered toast with marmalade. "Now, if you're going to go to school, you need to eat up quick. Go on." She sets the plate in front of Armin, who flashes her a dubious look but does not argue. Sasha only breathes a sigh of relief when their backs are safely facing each other and she can disguise her budding tears in the rising steam of the wash up water.

* * *

“Damn it,” Erwin laments that first garish morning. “I meant to bring along some playing cards or UNO or something to keep your mind occupied,” Erwin states.

“Thanks for the thought, Smith,” Levi says, giving his boyfriend a gentle pat on the back of his hand before taking a generous sip of the tea Erwin has brought him. The care partner meant well when she gave him coffee earlier, but after taking a few polite sips, he allowed the scalding, acidic liquid to grow cold as he patiently waited for Erwin to arrive with his belongings, breakfast, and tea.  
  
“I bet I could ask the nurse,” Erwin mumbles more to himself as he peeks out of the room only to find the station empty. 

“It’s OK, Smith,” Levi says as he sets down the tea and begins to organize the items stuffed into the backpack. “Hey, I have a game we can play.”

“Oh, yeah?” Erwin returns, taking a seat on the vinyl bed.

“I’m bad with names, but we can give it a go.”

“How do we play?” asks Erwin. 

“I give you two names and you tell me the one you want.”

Erwin squints his eyes in confusion before crossing his arms across his chest and leaning back. “Alright, you go. I’ll catch on.”

“OK. Uhm.” Levi pauses in his organization to concentrate, trying to think of two names. “Keanu Reeves or Johnny Depp?”

“Which one would win in a deathmatch?” Erwin ventures.

“Which one would you want to fuck? Or date, I dunno, however you interpret it.”

“Oh!” Erwin declares, suddenly realizing the nature of the game. “Uh, Johnny, I guess.”

“Really?” Levi asks dubiously.

“Do I detect a note of judgment in your voice, my love?”

“Listen, I’d have picked Johnny, like, twenty years ago. But not now, and no way against Keanu.”

“I did not realize there is a debating element to this game.”

Levi ignores the comment, or does not hear it, as he continues his argument. “Johnny is just so common in comparison. Keanu still has mystery and layers to him. Johnny is a caricature of himself and fuck if I’m going to deal with that sort of attention seeking behavior.”

“Well, you won’t have to because I chose him and you have Keanu.”

“Damn right I do. Alright, you go.”

“Right. Okay. Uhm. Channing Tatum or Hugh Jackman?”

“Who?”

“You’re joking,” Erwin scoffs with an incredulous look at his boyfriend.

“One of those names sounds familiar.” Levi taps his chin with the DVD of  _ The Muppets Take Manhattan _ . “Is one of them Wolverine?”

“Yes, very good.”

“Then I’ll go with him because he’s hot...even if he isn’t accurate to comic book Wolverine. Although! Farlan once showed me a video of that guy singing sappy ass Broadway songs. I’ll have none of that  _ Send in the Clowns _ bullshit.”

“Duly noted. OK, your turn.”

“I’m so bad with names,” Levi grouces. “Uhm. Okay. The hunky dude from the Batman movie...the one with the mouth hugger on his face, or that British dude who played the bad guy with the horns...in the Thor movie?”

“I think you mean Tom Hardy and Tom Hiddleston, respectively?”

“Sure,” Levi concedes with a shrug.

“Tough call, seeing as they’re both British.”

“Bane is British?”

“Yes. I guess I’ll go with Tom Hiddleston; I’m a sucker for a posh accent.”

“Huh,” Levi replies, still caught up in the revelation of Tom Hardy’s nationality. 

“This is madness,” Erwin chuckles, caught up in the amusement of both the game itself and Levi’s inability to recall names. “Can I propose fictional characters?”

“Shoot.”

“Wayne or Garth?”

Grinning, Levi looks up from his sorted piles of items from home. Their presence alone makes the room brighter and warmer.

“Garth.”

“Really? I was sure you would have picked Wayne.”

“Wayne doesn’t have a backup career when the money dries out and their band winds up on VH1’s  _ Where Are They Now _ . Garth is an inventor and will keep drumming as a passion hobby on weekends when he isn’t revolutionizing some tech product or opening hospitals in war torn countries.”

“So. I’m essentially your Garth.”

Levi looks over his shoulder as he sorts together a makeshift shelf of Eren’s possessions. “Glad you picked up on that, Smith.”

Standing back to admire his work, Levi then picks a DVD to have on in the background. Standing beside Eren, Levi gently brushes the little boy's hair back from his forehead, trying to tame it enough to clip a purple bow in it. 

"Let's have a lazy movie day, Eren," Levi says to his son. "Erwin brought you a fuck ton of movies. Wasn't that nice of him? You know, if you wake up, Armin can eventually come and visit you. You have to wake up and get well first, though." Levi waits for a painstakingly long minute before gingerly climbing into the bed to spoon his child and sets his gaze on  _ The Goofy Movie _ , despite his thoughts being as far away from anything remotely Disney as possible.

* * *

The week slithers on in a blur, leaving Levi with a loss of time. He announces the date and day to Eren every morning, but their information becomes part of the daily recitation and does not actually register with himself. The nurses are kind but part of the monotony, and the doctors, Levi soon realizes, are merely overeducated guessing machines regurgitating the same frustrating platitudes. By Tuesday afternoon, Levi is upgraded to a room with a sleeper sofa against a floor to ceiling window; by Tuesday night, Erwin has a hotel room for anyone who keeps Levi company in the evening and for himself to work remotely, and by Wednesday morning Levi caves and takes a shower and a catnap there. By Friday morning, Levi begins to wonder if he will need to leave the hospital come Monday and return to work. 

"It's Valentines Day," Levi realizes as he stares at the calendar. "Eren, did you hear me? It's Friday, February Fourteenth. Valentines Day. You love Valentines Day. We missed getting cards for your class." 

"Oh, yes, here." Erwin shuffles through his laptop bag and produces a homemade Valentines Day card. "From Armin."

Levi takes hold of the sweetly made valentine and perches himself on the edge of Eren's bed. "Eren, you should wake up and see this card. Armin really outdid himself. It even has all that lace shit you like around the heart. See?" Levi turns the large heart towards his son, who remains silent and slumbering. Undaunted, Levi continues, "The card reads: Dear Eren. I hope you are getting better and I hope you will be home soon. I miss you. You are my best friend. Love Armin." Levi stares at the Valentine, a worrying look deepening on his face. "Smith, I think you should bring Armin here tomorrow."

"Are you certain?" Erwin asks as he sets up his laptop on the wheeled table. 

"You have the final say, of course, but I think he deserves to know what's really going on here." Levi looks over his shoulder at his boyfriend and adds, "Better yet, tell him as best you can what's going on. Let him decide if he wants to see Eren like this."

Erwin thinks this over before conceding. "I will."

Taking a deep inhale, Levi suddenly turns to Erwin and exhales as he announces,  “I’m ready to tell you about Eren’s mom.”

Erwin looks up from his book and removes his reading glasses. “You don’t have to, Badtz.”

“I want to," Levi nods with conviction as he joins Erwin on the sleeper sofa at the back of the room. "I've been thinking about it since Sunday. It’ll be good practice for when Eren wakes up.” He casts a long glance over at his sleeping son before scooting off the bed and joining Erwin in the corner. “I hope he doesn’t hear me now, though.”

“Do you want to go somewhere else?”

Levi scratches the back of his head in contemplation before shaking it. 

“Let’s see. Where to start.” He tilts his head back, a dull thud as it greets the window. “I guess the best place is when I was released from prison. I was twenty-one when I got busted, twenty-two when I was released. I needed those thirteen months to really shake me up. I escaped a four year sentence, and considered myself damn lucky for it. I knew by then that I no longer wanted to associate with my uncle Kenny and his gang; it was only going to end in ugly violence. Farlan was on the outside waiting for me, dealing with his own family bullshit. He was trying to get formal custody of Isabel and knew no social worker was going to look twice at him if he didn’t have a proper job with a paper trail. At some point during my incarceration, he’d transferred from our gang's chop shop to a legitimate business. The gang sympathized with his plight and didn’t mind helping him out, so they gave him their blessing and there was no bad blood for it. Farlan was already set up with an apartment, meaning I had a place to live when I got out.”  
  
Levi takes a deep breath. He never talks this much, and it is already taxing him.  
  
“Typically, when someone has been on the inside on gang business, they lay low after release because of the parole officer keeping a close eye on a parolee’s situation. I knew I would have a long grace period to get my shit together, and I would not be asked to get into any gang business for a good long time, the rest of my sentence time, just under three years. The problem was, I didn't want to ever get entangled with their bullshit again. I know this is probably mind-blowing to you, Smith, but the furthest I’d ever been away was Lake Tahoe, four hours away. My world was small and I really had no clue where I’d go, just that I had to get out of this life.” Levi takes another pause, meditating on his next words before continuing. “I took things one step at a time, and decided to hit the books and get my GED. That's when I first met my friend Petra, when she was a page at the library during the summer." A brief smile tugs at his lips before Levi continues. "I'm not the best student, and an even worse test taker, but with her help, I did eventually pass. One step closer to a steady job on the level and out of the life. One night, I was nursing some shitty beer, trying to figure out my next move, when the barmaid came over to top me off. Her name was Karla.”

“Eren’s mom?” Erwin ventures. Levi nods.

“I’d known her for years, though I’d never call us friends before that night. I don’t notice women the same way nearly every other guy in the gang did, but we were friendly with one another. That night, she looked about as awful as I felt. We got to talking, even well past her shift. Apparently, she had split town some months with some a-hole doctor who had rolled through town, took her on this incredible romantic whirlwind, all the while promising her the moon and stars. She bought it hook, line, and sinker, and before she could blink, she was knocked up and the bastard was suddenly nowhere to be found.”

Erwin scoffs. 

“There we were, two people with no romantic interest in one another but a good sob story apiece, both of us bound to this shitty little town.” Levi makes a lazy gesture towards himself. “Seeing as how she’d been crashing on the sofa in the back room of the bar, I moved her in with Farlan and me and we became this weird little family. We didn’t have two penny's to rub together, all of our pathetic furnishings were curbside trash and Goodwill finds, but it was home for all of us. For a little while, anyway.” 

“Do you want to stop here?” Erwin asks, noting the fatigue in Levi's eyes.

“I can’t stop now,” Levi says before continuing in the next breath. “I was working odd jobs, construction mostly, reporting to my parole officer every week, staying low, while also learning more and more about mechanics. I knew more than the average Joe how to work on a motorcycle, and the very basic maintenance of a car, but this was in depth. No paycheck in it yet, though, so I had to juggle it all between the paying jobs I could find. Karla, meanwhile, was stressing out. She was healthy, but she worried that this doctor would breeze through town again, lead her on and then try to snatch the baby. Most guys are deadbeats, I told her. My old man, whoever he was, never bothered to stick around. But she just couldn’t shake the idea of this slick doctor coming in with money and lawyers and taking away her baby because she was single and poor.” Levi shrugs half heartedly. “I knew my mom had harbored similar fears of CPS being called on her, and my grandparents had always threatened to take me away if she didn’t get her drinking under control. So I knew Karla’s fears weren’t unfound. So...we concocted a plan.” At this point Levi buries his face in his hands and draws his knees up. Erwin is about to insist they stop for tea, but Levi raises his head and continues. 

“Life was getting better. Jobs were getting steadier for me, I was making all of my parole meetings and my uncle stayed out of my hair. He was getting deeper into some really ugly crimes and couldn't afford to be anywhere near someone who had the law constantly checking up on them. Anyway. I can’t remember now if it was Karla or me that came up with the idea, but we were equally guilty. It was decided that, when the baby is born, my name would be placed on the birth certificate. Farlan, up to his eyeballs in custody battles and court insanity at that point, convinced us to go through proper channels so it could never be disputed that, so long as I’m supporting this baby, I’m the legal guardian. It was a fuck ton of headaches and paperwork and tried my patience something fierce, but in the end, it would cover my ass.” Levi cranes his neck to ensure Eren has not stirred before proceeding. “Eren was born…” Levi smiles wistfully, “he was perfection and…” Levi shakes his head, marveling at the memory. “I never felt such love.” 

“I understand.”

A smirk tugs at the corner of Levi’s mouth. “I know you do, Smith." He leans over for a brief kiss before moving on with his story. "Eren instantly became my world and I was so happy.” Levi frowns at the recollection. “But something was off with Karla. She wasn’t working anymore; I, by this time, had two jobs, and it was long hours, seven days a week. One night I got home and she and Eren weren’t there. I figured she took him to the bar to show him off, and went out to join them. They weren’t there, and no one I asked around town had seen them. When I got home, they were back and Karla was sobbing her eyes out. It took me half the night to get her to let up and tell me what was wrong. Apparently, in the last weeks before Eren was due, Karla had been trying to track down the biological dad. She was trying to find him before Eren was born as a last ditch attempt to win this guy back, but as I mentioned before, Eren was born early. Took us both by surprise. So, our plan was executed and my name went on the birth certificate. Cut to a few weeks later she found the good doctor.”

“Oh, no,” Erwin groans with heavy dread in his gut.

“I guess she drove half the day away, baby in the back seat of her beat up old Honda Civic, to this guy’s house in Fresno or some shit, only to find that he already had a wife and a son.”

"Unbelievable," Erwin huffs under his breath. 

“You know, telling this story out loud, which I’ve never done before, I almost feel sorry for Karla,” Levi confesses, confusion on his face as he wrestles with his emotions.

“I do,” Erwin admits, rubbing comforting circles on Levi’s back.

“Wait for it,” Levi warns. “A few days go by, and Karla is in a bad funk. Like, she can hardly take care of herself, let alone the baby. I’m busting my ass trying to feed us, Farlan is doing what he can while taking care of Isabel, who is about to officially move in with us for good. I know Karla has been hurt, but she has a helpless baby who is depending on her…” Levi shakes his head as he feels his anger rise. He grits his teeth as he tersely completes his story. “I can hear Eren screaming the second I turn off my motorcycle. I run up to the apartment; it’s completely pitch dark, not a single light on. Eren is in the laundry basket on a pile of freshly cleaned clothes and towels, his diaper full and leaking. She used the back of an envelope to write: ‘I love you, Eren. I’m sorry.”’

Erwin covers the fist Levi has been tightly clenching, coaxing him gently to relax and intertwine their fingers.

“I can never forgive her, Erwin. My baby was left alone. He was scared, filthy, and hungry.”

“He will never be any of those things ever again because he has his daddy.”

“Damn fucking right,” Levi squeaks as he accepts Erwin’s heartfelt embrace. His face lies against the crook of Erwin's neck and he inhales the lingering scent of Erwin's cologne. "Now you get why I haven't exactly been eager or willing to tell Eren this story."

"I do," Erwin concedes. "But I reserve the opinion he needs to know. Maybe not all of the details, but the fundamentals." 

"How do I sugar coat that his mom ditched him when he was an infant?"

Erwin sighs in deep thought, pulling the pieces of Levi's story to build a child's narrative. "It sounds like Karla was suffering from depression. Postpartum depression on its own is nothing to be taken lightly, let alone compiled with the situation she was dealing with. It is not out of the realm of possibility that Karla was seriously unwell and walked out simply because her depression took over her sense. It wasn’t a matter of not loving him, but being unable to take care of herself, and therefore him. Which you said anyway."

Levi nods, knowing he has run out of excuses and time to delay this inevitable conversation. All that is left is for Eren to waken and recover. 

* * *

“Did you feel that a weight had been lifted once you told Erwin about Karla?” Farlan asks his best friend later that evening when they are alone together. Despite the traditional romance dictated by the fourteenth of February, Levi insisted Erwin go home and have dinner with Armin. 

"Your son has been so good," Levi had said quietly as he firmly shoved Erwin out of the door. "He deserves to have you to himself tonight. Plus, Sasha deserves to have her first American Valentines Day with that cute guy in her class."

"Okay, okay, I'm going - wait, what guy?" Erwin was rapt with attention, completely bamboozled by this news. Levi smirks despite himself.

"She'll tell you when she's good and ready. Just get home so she can get some ass. Or. Whatever."

Upon Sasha’s insistence, though, Farlan took over a hefty insulated picnic basket of homemade food. Enough food for a small army, Levi shared with the nurses, thus earning himself a most favorable position. Levi dunks his falafel in a dish of homemade hummus, creamy and rich with olive oil and paprika. The falafel is still crunchy on the inside, while retaining its moist interior, sans mushiness. Under any other circumstances, Levi’s thoughts would solely fixate on the food before him.

“Kind of,” Levi says after some contemplation. “I have no regrets telling Erwin, and I feel relieved by it, but I don’t think that weight will be lifted until Eren knows.”

“I still don’t think she-”

“I know what you think,” Levi viciously snaps. Farlan throws his hands up in surrender and Levi redirects his anger at the chicken leg clutched in his hand. 

“Do you ever wonder if she went back to look for you two?” Farlan asks conversationally.

“No,” Levi quickly barks before regret for his tone and aggression seeps in. He softly relents, “Sometimes.”

“Not that you’d be in danger of losing Eren,” Farlan reassures his friend. “You’ve been the sole provider and that would hold up enough in any court.”

“I stopped worrying about that scenario years ago,” Levi solemnly confesses, his still warm pita bread a comfort to his appetite after such an emotionally draining day. “Eren brings up his mom so often now...If she suddenly appeared out of the woodwork, I worry he’ll actually want her in his life.”

They continue to eat in silence. Then, ever so slowly, Levi feels a prickling sensation on his bowed head, as if someone was silently present in the room. He glances around, half expecting to spy the nurse popping her head in the room, when his eyes met Eren’s.

“Christ on toast,” Levi gasps as he shoves his food to the side, uncaring that it nearly misses the tray altogether and Farlan quickly splays his hand to catch it. Hurling himself across the room, Levi catches himself on the side of the bed as he shouts, “Eren! Eren! Look at me!”

“Oh, fuck, oh fuck,” Farlan mutters as he hurries to settle the food before rushing to get the nurse.

“Eren?” Levi cries, waving his hand in front of Eren’s eyes. They are open, lazily as if heavy with sleep, but do not focus on anything in particular. As the nurse enters with Farlan behind her, Levi claps his hands beside his son’s face, eliciting a subtle but distinct flinch. “Why isn’t he looking at me?” Levi demands.

“Coming out of a coma isn’t like the movies, Mr. Ackerman,” the nurses says as he quickly checks Eren’s vital signs. “It’s subtle, and usually happens gradually.”

Eren’s eyes begin to flutter again, as if sleep were too sweet a song to resist.

“No!” Levi shouts, giving his son’s leg a shake. “Eren, stay awake. Stay with me, okay? Wake up!” In desperation, Levi adds, “Time for school!”

This causes Eren’s perfectly green eyes to widen in surprise, but they quickly flutter shut again. 

“Goddamnit!” Levi tears at his hair as he turns on his heel and kicks the wastebasket across the room. The nurse says nothing but exchanges looks with Farlan. 

“This is an excellent sign, man,” Farlan says soothingly as his best friend crouches and begins to sob uncontrollably. Farlan kneels down and throws an arm around Levi. “People go weeks, years, hoping for something like this. This is amazing, man. I know it’s still a long road to go, but two days? Dude. Your little monster is fighting like hell to get back home. We just probably can’t see it.” 

“Was he tracking you at all?” The nurse asks.

“Tracking?” Farlan asks over his shoulder.

“Following you with his eyes. I didn’t catch the last part.”

“My back was towards him. Hang on.” Farlan leans close to his best friend. “Levi? Was Eren looking at you?”

“I thought he was at first,” Levi says as he regains control over his emotions, taking a long, deep breath. “But I think it was wishful thinking. He was looking in my direction, I think, but he didn’t register that he saw me - and when I went over to him, his eyes still looked where I was sitting.”

“Okay,” the nurse acknowledges as he quickly jots down notes. “Excellent. I’m going to notify the doctor on call and type this up in Eren’s file before I clock out. Your night nurse will take over. Eren's doctors will see it first thing in the morning.”

“They’re not going to come tonight?” Levi asks bewilderedly. 

“The doctor on call will most likely see him tonight.”

After he vacates the room, Levi clutches Farlan’s arm as his eyes blaze with determination and justification. “You know what this means, right? Playing his music and movies and talking to him is working!” They hoist themselves off of the floor. 

“Yeah, it’s gotta be!” Farlan echos his friend’s rising hope.

“I can’t stop now,” Levi says with renewed resolve. “But I’ve played him everything you and Erwin brought at least half a dozen times each.”  
  
Farlan ponders for a split second before a new idea seizes him. “Then we’re gonna amp it up to eleven!”

* * *

Later that night, Levi hears the storm rolling in before the cries of shock and shouts of protest from the hospital staff.  
  
“You can’t do that!” Someone shouts.

“Tough tits, lady!” One rough woman snaps back.

“Yeah, looks like we just did!” Adds another.

Farlan and Levi exchange a smile before Farlan runs to the door and opens it just in time, welcoming six young women in full roller derby gear inside led by Isabel, Red Ferocia herself.

“How did all of you get clearance to come up here?” Levi asks as he and Farlan move furniture and Levi’s possessions against the walls.

“Farlan sent us the names and room numbers of other people on the floor,” Isabel reveals with a wink. “So we kept our gear packed and went up one at a time before changing just before coming into the PICU!”  
  
Shaking his head as he watches the girls glide in an unbreaking circle around Eren’s bed, Levi raises his voice to express his gratitude to all of team members able to show up on such short notice. “Thank you, everyone!”

“Anything for our number one fan!” A blocker with half a shaved head says.

“Alright, team,” Isabel cries with a clap of her hands. “Let’s wake this kid up!”

“You can’t all be in here!” Eren’s nighttime nurse screeches over the melee. “PICU only permits three visitors at a time!”

“Hey!” Farlan shouts back at her. “We’re doing everything in our power to get this kid to wake up. Where the hell is that doctor? Huh? It’s been three hours and now it’s ten at night. Eren may not be their top priority, but he is ours!”

The punkish, post-apocalyptic themed roller derby team continues to rollerskate around the bed, twisting and twirling their bodies expertly as they chant and clamor, causing the most uproarious commotion the PICU has ever heard. Mobile patients, visiting family members, and other staff began to gather around the door. The nurse fidgets, unsure of her next move.

“Come on, Eren! Wake up!”

“Wake up, Eren!”

“Time to get up, sleepyhead!”

“You’ve slept too long, Eren!”

“Wakey, wakey, eggs and bacy!”

“Rise and shine, princess!”

They begin a clapping cheer, their voices rise in unison as a melody forms and they begin to sing  _ Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go _ by WHAM. The non-hospital staff begins to clap along and cheer the derby girls on. They alone understand the desperation Levi is going through and cannot begrudge him a dramatic effort. 

Two security guards push through the crowd and fill the doorway. One maintains an aggressively wide stance while the other cups his hands around his mouth and shouts over the singing women.

“Ladies! Ladies! Enough! That’s enough!”

They slow down as best they can with minimal collision in such a tight space, cloistering together tightly as they collectively scowl at the security guards. Some jeering and booing can be heard from the spectators behind the hulking campus cops. Farlan huffs against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest in disapproval while Levi stands by Eren’s bed, clasping one slack little hand while he slips the other protectively around his son, his steel eyes daring the guards to evict him. He knows Erwin will be disappointed in his lack of effort to keep out of trouble, but Levi cannot help but take pride in the outpouring of love for his son.

The guard who spoke softens his expression slightly at seeing Eren, wired to machines and locked in an unnatural sleep. His voice is firm, but without menace as he motions towards the door. “OK, girls, you had your fun. Let’s go.”

Just as the derby girls begin to groan and look for the backpacks and messenger bags piled in the back of the room, Levi gives a start as his fingers twitch. Looking down, his breath catches in his throat as he sees Eren’s face grimace and his eyes struggle to open. Eren wins out, his brilliant green eyes immediately locking with Levi's. There is sleepiness, certainly, and confusion, undoubtedly, but also recognition. Levi is sure of it as he hollers for joy and kneels down, making sure to hold fast to Eren’s little hand and maintain eye contact.

“Can you hear me, baby? Let me know you hear me.”

The nurse pushes past the guards to quickly check Eren’s vitals. Eren manages to hold his eyes open for a few minutes before they begin to droop once more. Levi does not spare anyone a second glance before he resorts to his final tactic.

“Eren!” He commands. “Nod your head or give me a sign that you understand me.  _ Now!” _

Though it was small, and not up to his usual little monster strength, Eren Jager Ackerman immediately obeyed and gently squeezed his father’s hand.


	17. Catch Me (I'm Falling)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Falling in motion  
> As though I had wings  
> Your sweet love and devotion  
> Baby it's magic  
> A magical thing'
> 
> \- Pretty Poison (Catch Me, I'm Falling)

_ Earlier that same Friday _

Armin sits alone on the picnic table under the shade of two large trees situated in the center of the school play yard. Under normal circumstances, Armin would relish the opportunity to enjoy the sunshine and warmth he is not accustomed to. However, the last six days have been anything but normal. In fact, they have been down right rotten. As he picks at his lunch, two shadows fall over him.  
  
"Can we sit here?"   
  
Armin looks up to see Jean and Marco standing on the other side of the table, their lunch-boxes in hand. Armin nods and they sit.

"Is it true Eren is in the hospital?" Jean asks bluntly. 

"Yes," Armin answers plainly, afraid if he is asked to elaborate he may betray his deeper emotions.

"I'm sorry he is so sick," Marco says kindly as he opens his lunch pail. "Do you think he will be better and back at school before the end of February?"

"I'm not sure," Armin answers honestly.  
  
"I want to say goodbye before I move," Marco explains with a mope. 

"I will let you know when he gets better," Armin promises before huffing under his breath, "If anyone bothers to tell me anything." 

"Oh!" Marco adds. "Would you give Eren my Valentines Day card?" He draws out a folded cartoon Valentines from his pocket and hands it over to Armin. "I picked that one especially for him because I know he likes Monster High." 

"I will try,” says Armin as he takes the Valentine, “but he might come back to school before I see him. I don’t really know what’s going on. My Poppa is not telling me very much.”

“That’s how parents are,” Jean retorts as he tears into his egg salad sandwich. “They think we’re too dumb and too little to know anything serious.” 

Armin wants to disagree with Jean, but finds that he cannot and eats the rest of his lunch in contemplative silence.

* * *

Later that evening, there is a pensive atmosphere hanging heavily at the Smith dinner. Armin is especially uneasy as his father and Sasha both are typically trying to force their well intended cheer onto him, but with Sasha out that evening, and Erwin uncharacteristically quiet, Armin fears the worst.

“Poppa,” Armin begins. “Did you visit Levi and Eren today?”

“I did, Ducks,” Erwin affirms. “Actually.” He sets down his fork. “There’s something I want to talk to you about. Levi wants you to come visit Eren tomorrow.”

“Really?” Armin cries, the dread beginning to lift its deadweight off of his gut.

“Yes, he thinks it’s time. But, he wants me to let you know that it is completely your decision-”

“Of course I want to go,” Armin interrupts. “When did Eren wake up?”

“He hasn’t,” Erwin replies with a grimace. This news puts an immediate halt on Armin’s premature celebration.

“Oh.”  
  
“Levi thinks it’s unfair that we’ve kept you out of the loop, and that it’s time for you to know what’s been going on. If you _want_ to know, of course. He wants me to be fully candid with you about Eren’s condition.”

Armin purses his lips together in deep thought. For the first time, he begins to comprehend why his Poppa and Sasha have been sparing him details. Perhaps knowledge can also be a burden. 

“I want to know,” Armin says decisively. “And I want to visit him.”  
  
“OK. Eren is still asleep, and I know you’ve seen him asleep before, but this is hospital asleep. There are many machines that surround his bed, and wires that are attached to him and the machines. There is also a tube that is inside of Eren that helps him breathe.”  
  
“Can he not breathe on his own?” Armin asks.

“We don’t know. The tube was inserted when Eren had his first surgery. Removing breathing tubes is a precarious task, because of the risk of bruising the mouth, or worse, chipping a tooth. So, imagine they took out the tube, but then found that Eren could not breathe on his own. They would have to hurriedly replace it, and put him at risk again.”  
  
“So, it was better to leave it in.”   
  
“Right.”   
  
Armin fidgets as he debates vocalizing his worst fear. Seeing as how Poppa is being straightforward, though, Armin realizes this may be his only opportunity to ask him. “Will Eren ever wake up?”   
“I think so,” Erwin says with a small smile. “It  _ sounds _ like what happened was a very rare allergic reaction to the anesthesia used for his appendix surgery. His vital signs are consistently good, his brain function is stable. He just needs time to find his way back to consciousness.” 

“Is it like...being lost in the dark?”

Erwin’s smile broadens. “I imagine so. Levi treats it as such, and the doctors encourage him to talk to Eren and play his favorite music and movies. Familiar sounds might draw him out.”   
“Oh!” Armin turns in his seat, his dinner forgotten. “I have loads that I have been saving for Eren. His homework, Get Well cards from our friends, Valentines Day cards, plus I can bring books and read to him.”  
  
“Yes, you can. Bring all of it. Well. He won’t be able to do any homework. That might have an adverse effect on him.” 

They share the first genuine smile between them all week.  
  


* * *

“I’m sorry, I’m ruining our first Valentines Day,” Sasha sniffs as she presses a Kleenex tissue to her eye, praying her mascara is as every bit waterproof that the manufacturer claims it to be.  
  
“No, it’s OK,” Connie insists, wrapping his green, white and yellow trimmed letterman jacket from his alma mater, Blair High School, around her shoulders as the wind whips across their picnic on the rotunda terrace at the historic Castle Green apartment building. It is normally under lock and key for residents only, but Connie pulled in a favor from a groundskeeper and a sous chef he knows to give his girl a beautiful view on her first American Valentine’s Day. “I’d be bawling my eyes out if one of my brothers or sisters was in the hospital.”

Sasha looks over her shoulder at him, a weary smile on her face. “An’ I be here comforting you instead.”  
  
“Yeah,” Connie agrees, sliding his arm around her and pressing his forehead against hers. “Because you’re amazingly sweet like that.”   
Sasha sniffs loudly in his face. He does not even bat an eyelash.

“Do you want to go home?” He asks. “Because it’s OK if you do. It’s OK to be sad." He gently tickles her under her chin. "You know that every day is kinda like Valentine's Day when we’re together, cariña.”

“You’re cheesy as fuck,” Sasha remarks with a giggle. “And I love it. Gimme a kiss, bap.”

Connie obliges her and they finally tuck into their picnic.

“Piss it!” Sasha suddenly gasps as he heaps shaved fennel and ruby red grapefruit salad onto her plate. “I forgot the gougeres!”

“Cariña,” Connie says reassuringly as he gazes over the spread only two overachieving culinary students can master. “We’ll be just fine.”

* * *

The security guards make a compromise with the derby team: they remove their skates and keep it down a notch, they can linger a while longer and put up the decorations they picked up on their way to the hospital. By the time they are done, the PICU is all humming machines and soft whispers. Even the typically riotous young women are speaking in hushed volumes as their task comes to a close and everyone steps back to admire their work. Levi has yet to abandon Eren's side, having received two more squeezes of hope and encouragement before Eren was completely unconscious again. It may be Levi's imagination, but he senses as only a deeply bonded parent can sense, that Eren's slumber is far more naturalistic and peaceful this time around. 

"He's going to love it," Levi assures the derby team. The room is decked out in motifs of pink princess, earthy green dinosaurs, and Monster High; an obvious improvement over the sterile hospital room. "He's going to want to keep all of this stuff and take it home." Levi smooths Eren's dirty brown hair. "When we eventually get home." He looks up at Farlan, who is fighting sleep on the vinyl sofa bed. “I’m sorry if I ruined your Valentine’s Day plans of finding a lonely barfly to take home.”

“Pshaw,” Farlan spurts with the wave of his hand. “S’okay. No place else I’d rather be. Besides. Clingy, drunk girls and angry, bitter men are the only pickins.”

“That’s m’boy,” Levi mumbles with a nod as Farlan conks out.

* * *

The Smith household is topsy-turvy when Erwin checks his texts in the morning.

**[Levi]** Eren woke up!11!!!1

**[Levi]** False alarm

**[Levi]** False false alarm

**[Levi]** OK he is kinda up 

**[Levi]** He went back to sleep but i think its regular sleep now

**[Levi]** i hope youre still bringing armin over. I think that will help eren.

  
  


"AHHHH!" Sasha shrieks, her voice echoing in her little backhouse and causing Connie to abruptly wake up and leap out of bed.

"What? What is it? Fire?! Robber? Where's the baseball bat?"

"Me lovey is awake!" Sasha shouts, clutching her phone as she dances and bounces atop her bed. Connie rubs his chest, feeling the intense drumming of his heart before taking a deep breath as he collapses on the bed in relief.

* * *

“Let’s go over the rules again,” Erwin says as he drives to the hospital the next day. Armin stifles a sigh; he knows his Poppa means well, but he is visiting his best friend in the hospital, not studying for an exam. "Eren will be intubated, which means he has a tube down his throat. It looks scary, but you mustn't let on that you are nervous because it might make Levi or Eren feel bad."

"Right,"Armin replied neutrally.

"Don't ask a lot of questions; Levi is very tired and Eren cannot talk."

"He can write," Armin sasses under his breath. 

"Well," Erwin fumbles for a response before adding, "True, but the drugs in his system may make it difficult to focus. Plus, he has an IV in his hand. It may hurt to write." 

Armin bows his head so his Poppa cannot see him roll his eyes in exasperation.

"Don't fuss about school, oh, and if he falls asleep when you read to him, don't be insulted. He's probably just tired."

"He has been in a coma all week, how much sleep can he need?"

"It isn't like regular sleep," Erwin explains. 

After they park and go through security with visitor badges on their tops, Erwin escorts Armin up to the fifth floor. 

Levi is outside of the PICU waiting for them. Erwin hands him the coffee he picked up along the way before they kiss. 

"I am so relieved," Erwin says to his boyfriend. 

"I'm cautiously optimistic," Levi admits before looking beyond Erwin at Armin, his backpack shifting as he lightly sways, waiting for the two men to stop being mushy. "I can see you're just aching to visit Eren, Ducks. Ready?" 

"Yup!" Armin says, straightening. Just as he is about to follow through Levi through the mechanical double doors, Levi sharply turns and holds out his arm, blocking their entrance. 

"Hang on." Levi squints suspiciously up at the blond man before looking back down at Armin. "I bet your Poppa laid out a whole mess of stupid rules. Didn't he?"

Feeling trapped between his father and the truth, Armin could only look up at Levi guiltily. Erwin's jaw drops, incredulous.

"Listen. If Eren's tubes freak you out and you get scared, you can totally bail out."

"Now wait just a minute-" Erwin begins before Levi abruptly holds up his hand, prompting Erwin to shut up.

"It's freaky as hell. If I wasn't his dad, I'd be flipping out, too. I  _ am _ flipping out, but inside."

"You are?" Armin asks.

"Yeah. It's not easy to see someone you love like this. So if you're feeling sad or uncomfortable and you just want to say a quick hi and bye, that's totally okay."

Armin smiles; Levi always seems to understand him in a way his Poppa cannot. Erwin sighs and shrugs when his son looks to him for reassurance, retorting, "Levi is the boss."

Eren is sleepily hanging onto conscious, but subtly perks up when Armin enters the room. The blond boy takes a deep breath as he adjusts to seeing his friend in such a state. Levi plants his hands atop Armin’s shoulders and helps him take that initial step towards Eren.

“Look, little monster,” Levi says, feeling like he is patronizing his son by stating the obvious. “I told you that if you woke up, Armin could visit you, and here he is!”

Eren meekly smiles around the tube, scooting up as best he can as Armin settles on the foot of his bed. He reaches for something that Levi instinctively retrieves: a dry erase board given by the nurses. Eren quickly writes:

_ ‘HELLO! I missed you!’ _

“I missed you, too, Eren! And look!” He swings his backpack around to sit between them, unzipping it to pull out a manila folder. “I collected your Valentines from school yesterday!”

From behind his tube, Eren squeaked excitedly.    
  


"Can they take the tube out now?" Erwin asks as he and Levi lean on the doorframe just outside of Eren's room, giving the friends a touch of privacy. 

"I wish," Levi grouces. "The doctors want to make sure he is completely out of his coma, so he has to perform some sort of monkey tests to prove he has gained full consciousness. They'll remove it then." Levi takes another sip of tea before adding, "Once they're satisfied, though they want to run  _ more _ tests on him to make sure no ugly surprises are lying in wait." He shrugs. “At least they snipped those stupid restraints this morning. That was an ugly something I  _ definitely _ did not want Armin to see.” 

"All of this makes the appendicitis seem so banal," Erwin comments.

"Eren is going to bounce back in no time," Levi says, "But I sure as hell don't think I'm ever going to fully recover from this, Smith."

Erwin runs a soothing hand down his boyfriend’s arm. “I know, Badtz.” 

Levi feels his back pocket vibrating from his phone. Pulling it out, he looks at the caller and looks up at Erwin.

“I gotta take this. I’ll be in the hall. Hang out with them, OK? Get me if they need anything.”  
  
“Roger that.”

“And don’t hover!” Levi warns before answering his phone as he marches down the hall. 

Erwin waits a few moments before ducking into Eren’s room and quietly situating himself on the couch bed before taking out his phone and going through his bookmarks.

“Marco says he hopes he sees you before he moves,” Armin informs Eren, who looks up in confusion and sadness. “I know; I shall miss him, too. He made you a get well card, along with some of our other friends.” Armin removes them from his backpack. “Would you like me to read them to you?” Eren nods. Armin looks over at his shoulder and stares at his Poppa expectantly until Erwin looks up, baffled.

“Yes?” 

“Poppa, I am visiting with Eren,” Armin states with patient exasperation. “Can you please go away?”

Hiding his amusement, Erwin pretends offense as he blinks rapidly and shakes his head. “Well! I can tell when I am not wanted. You don’t have to ask me twice.” He rises to his feet. “I’ll go take a lap around the floor and see if Levi wants to grab a bite to eat.”

“Alright,” Armin merely replies, waiting until his Poppa is out of the room before continuing.

“Is it OK if I head out for a few minutes?” Erwin asks the nurse. “I’ve been banished so they can have friend time.”

The nurse looks as if she is about to reject the idea, but she eventually sighs and smiles wearily. “OK. But come right back, please.” 

“Quick as lightning, promise.” 

Erwin leaves the PICU to circle around the floor, surprised he does not run into Levi as he assumed his boyfriend would have taken his phone call directly outside of the intensive care unit. Wandering by the playroom, teen room, and the windowed wall to an expansive balcony with play set up, Erwin is hopeful Eren will soon be able to enjoy some play and sunshine. As he approaches another hall, Erwin overhears Levi’s voice, laced with controlled agitation.

“I have to check my policy, but what kind of hit am I looking at here? Jesus fuck. Alright. No, I’m banking that they won’t be quick about it.”

Erwin slides up next to the little room Levi has sequestered himself in, a plaque outside the jungle mural wall reading _ Family Room _ .

“Who do I ask about payment plans? Do you think hospitals take payment plans? Yeah, I guess that’s obvious. Hey, man! My kid has been in a fucking coma, the last thing on my mind up until this morning was how I’m footing whatever damage the leftover bill is going to be. I didn’t even think about the medical transport until you brought it up.” He sighs. “Yeah, thanks. OK. Well. I guess I can call the director of Eren’s school. They’re pretty chill and maybe she won’t mind a late check. I mean, I’m already on a scholarship, so I don’t usually like to rock the boat, but desperate times, right?” 

Erwin worries his bottom lip before turning on his heel and heading back to the PICU.

* * *

That Sunday Erwin and Hange walk down the popular shopping and entertainment hub, Third Street Promenade in the famed beach city Santa Monica, a stone's throw from the hospital Eren is at. Sensing her friend needed a break, Hange drove all of the way across town to window shop and catch up before Farlan gives Erwin the signal to swap out with him at the hospital. 

"Eren should be getting his tube out tomorrow," Erwin informs Hange with a smile. She smiles back.

"Fantastic!"

Thrusting his hands in his pockets, Erwin waits for a few minutes of comfortable, familiar silence before he plucks up the nerve to say: "I want to pay the rest of Eren's tuition this year."

"Excuse me?" Hange laughs. "Where did that come from?"

Erwin sighs and explains: "I overheard Levi talking on the phone about bills, specifically the upcoming bills for whatever the insurance isn't going to take care of. I can't bear the thought of him struggling to make ends meet when I have the means to take one financial burden off his shoulders." 

Hange cringes as she looks at her best friend in sympathy. "I really don't think you should do that."

"Why not? We can even keep it a secret between you and I. Oh! Yeah!" Erwin's eyes lit up, a dangerous glint Hange knew only too well. "I can pay for the rest of this year, and whatever he tries to pay you, you can just put it towards his tuition bills next year. That would be perfect, huh?"

"Erwin, no." Hange shakes her head and sighs. "Erwin...your heart is in the right place, but you cannot have secrets like that in a relationship. How is Levi going to ever trust you if you keep fiscally undermining him?" Erwin scoffs, prompting Hange to give him a gentle poke in the ribs as she say his eyes roamed to a storefront displaying designer punk clothes. "Promise me you're not spoiling Levi rotten."

"What do you mean?" Erwin asks absently, admiring a motocross style jacket.  
  
"You know perfectly well what I mean. I saw you eyeballing every fancy window dressings we walked by. You want to buy _ everything _ for Levi."  
  
A wistful smile appears on Erwin's lips. "OK, bills aside, he's fun to shop for! Have you seen the Barbour International look? Wax leather jackets; they're iconic for motorcyclists!"

"Erwin," Hange says sternly before she grabs him by the lapels of his jacket and jumps in front of him, forcing the blond man to look at her. "Hey, listen to me. Levi is different, and you can't treat him like a pampered pekingese."

"What's wrong with a little token of my affection?"

"Paying for Eren's tuition is hardly a token."

"His ego can take it."

"It's not completely about his ego and you know it!" Hange grabs his arm and pulls Erwin to face her at her level. "This is how things started to go sour between you and Mike."

Erwin looks away, and Hange leaps at her chance to finish her point before he shuts down completely.

"You gave Mike all of this material stuff to compensate for late nights at the office, for 3am Skype calls, for business trip after business trip. When you did have time, you spent it with Armin."

"Mike was there," Erwin lamely protests.

"But so was Armin."

"What? A father can't spend time-"

"Of course you're supposed to prioritize Armin! But that left little to none of your attention for Mike. So he used Armin and you moving to Japan as an excuse to bolt. But to the outsider eye with the degrees in sociology, humanities and psychology, not to mention your best friend, it was easy to see." She stares sternly at him until he sighs and concedes. 

“Time isn’t as much of an issue as it was with Mike,” Erwin informs her as they continue to stroll. “Levi and I work around our schedules, and our boys are always glued to the hip. But it’s difficult not to spoil him, especially because he’s never really had much of a break in life.”

“I know.” 

Erwin sighs and looks at his best friend with pouting puppy eyes. “No Barbour wax leather jacket?”  
  
Hange grins. “Save it for the big occasions. Christmas. His birthday. Valentines Day, if you have to. Anniversaries.”  
  
“But it’s so much more fun to give gifts just for the hell of it; just to say I love you!”

“No; those are what little tokens of appreciation are for. A weeknight date, his favorite tea just because you were passing by the shop and thought of him, offering to care for Eren so Levi can go out with his friends. Those are the  _ actions _ of love, Erwin...You do them in spades. You just don’t realize it because you are a kind person and it is second nature to you to be so open and giving.” 

“Aw, geez. Fine." A small smile creeps on his face as he playfully bumps his friend with his shoulder. "Hey. Do you really think we’ll have all of those things? Anniversaries?” Erwin asks shyly.  
  
“Yeah, believe it or not, I do.” She points at him as she adds sharply, “So long as you don’t fuck it up!”  
  
Erwin throws his hands up in defeat. “I won’t, I won’t!”

* * *

Unable to completely shake his desire to meddle, Erwin decides to turn over one last stone. Taking his lunch break out of the office for a change, Erwin heads over to the garage where Farlan is hunched under the hood of a very sleek Aston Martin. Motown is blaring from an ancient dust covered boombox stereo high on a shelf, debilitating Erwin's efforts to politely call to Farlan. It is not until he is directly on the other side of the hood shouting "Farlan!" just as a particular song from Van Halen concludes does the other man nearly leap out of his skin in surprise. 

"Jesus Christ, Erwin! Fuck! You scared the shit outta me."

"I'm sorry," Erwin apologizes, though he chuckles at Farlan's expressive face. "I did attempt to shout from a more reasonable distance, but,"

"No, no, it's cool. I get it." Farlan rubs his grease stained hand over the chest area of his jumpsuit, taking a few deep breaths as his heart rate decreases. Suddenly struck by the oddness of Erwin's presence, Farlan quickly shuts off the stereo and looks at the other man with concern. "Is Eren OK? Has Levi been trying to call me?" He makes a fleeting glance at the office. "My phone has been in the office all day."  
  
"As far as I know, everything is fine," Erwin reassures him. "Last I heard, Eren may have his breathing tube removed tonight."

"Right, yeah, me, too." Farlan rubs both hands on his jumpsuit, not exactly cleaning them but giving his hands greasy streaks. "What can I do for you?"

"I, uhm. It's an odd topic, I know, but humor me, please. I was wondering what sort of insurance Levi has."

"Insurance?" Farlan repeats, thrown by the request. "Thinking about turning in your Tesla for a Duesenberg?"  
  
"No, I meant, health insurance. What sort of plans do you and Levi have?"

"Oh." Farlan knits his brows in concentration. "Well, uh, as far as I know, we have pretty much the same plan since we both have dependents. We have Anthem gold PPO under Covered California." He folds his arms over his chest. "Why, what's up?"

"I'm worried about the impending onslaught of medical bills."

Confusion broke out on Farlan's face as the puzzle pieces fell into place, a slow realization finally dawning. "Ah. You want to help him out."

"The thought crossed my mind."

"You do know he would hate you for that, though, right?"

"The thought did cross my mind."

Farlan smirks appreciatively. "I'll give you a few Levi hints, because I like you and I don't want either of you to fuck up a good thing."

"Please," Erwin begs.

"Levi loves being Eren's daddy more than anything else in life. And given what I know you now know about Eren, you can appreciate why Levi is extra sensitive about his Daddy role."

"I do."

"So anything that's essential to being a parent: utility bills, school tuition, food, clothes, medical expenses, this is all something Levi considers to be his prime directive, to speak in more geek friendly terms. No offense?"

"None taken."

"I mean, it's not like it'd be emasculating or anything; it has nothing to do with " _ being a man" _ or any of that macho bullshit. It's all down to just being a parent and the financial responsibilities that come with it." Farlan throws his hands up in exasperation. "Between you and me, Levi is fucking nuts, but that's how he's hardwired."

"I respect that about him. I really do."

Without thinking about his hands, Farlan chuffs Erwin on the shoulder in a friendly gesture of empathy. "Hey, man. I know you really had your heart set on making it rain on my BFF, but even though paying Levi's medical bills on the sly may be a sure-fire way to torpedo your relationship, the day you want to pay all of _ my _ medical bills, I'll gladly take you up on the offer. But that's where Levi and I differ. He's a prideful mule. I am a shamelessly opportunistic snake."

Erwin shakes with laughter. "Thanks for talking to me, Farlan. You definitely convinced me not to do anything impulsive." Erwin turns to leave but stops to look back and ask, "Do you think Levi will be OK after all of this, though? Really?"

Farlan shrugs. "It's gonna add up, I'm not gonna lie. He might be letting you pick up the check at dinner or asking for more at-home dates for a while. But he lives frugally anyway and doesn't have a gas guzzling car or a mortgage to worry about, so I think he'll be okay."

"Thank you. Hang on. He doesn't have a mortgage?" Erwin spies the guilty, self-realization on Farlan's face. He must have spoken out of turn. "Does he rent that house?"

"No. He, uh, owns the home outright."

Recognizing that Farlan wishes to quickly leave the conversation, Erwin merely responds with a noncommittally, "Oh. Well, that's good, then." Permitting the topic to drop, Erwin waves goodbye and leaves, slightly more relieved but undoubtedly more confused than when he first entered.

* * *

Hunching over the Europe atlas Armin brought on his latest visit, Eren studies the unfamiliar town and cities' names, tracing his fingers along the Autobahn across Germany. Ever since his child awakened and moved out of the pediatric intensive care unit onto the main floor, Levi has been making the effort to talk about the future, even just stave off boredom between trips to the playroom. The trip to ride motorcycles across Europe upon Eren's high school graduation, though far off, is a topic doubling down in earnestness and enthusiasm. They study roads together and mark down funny sounding town names that they want to look up when Eren is released.

"Knock Knock!" A pleasant voice calls. Father and son turn to see a sweet little old lady in a volunteer's blue smock holding a leash with a majestic golden white haired dog on the other end of it. The pet therapy program, consisting of  mostly retired folks, meticulously train their dogs as certified therapy animals to visit patients in the hospital in the attempts of boosting morale and brightening their day.

"Would you like a visit from Pebbles?"

Levi turns to Eren, who stares dispassionately at the dog before turning back to the atlas. Levi tries not to snicker as goes over to scratch the dog's head apologetically. 

"Sorry, Pebbles. Don't mind him. We're cat people, to be honest and Eren's missing our kitties right now." 

"Not to worry! It does happen!" The woman says, though in typical dog person fashion, she does cast a slightly baffled glance before offering Pebbles to the next available patient. Still chuckling to himself for having the only child indifferent to dogs, Levi slightly closes the door and rejoins Eren at the foot of his bed, the atlas and whiteboard between them.  
  


_ Will Erwin and Armin be with us when we go to Europe, daddy?' _

Though breathing on his own for two days now, the tube having finally been removed, Eren's vocal chords are raw and irritated, limiting his use to small sentences. The doctors reassure them he will regain use of them over time, but for the time being, relying on the whiteboard for complex sentences will have to suffice.

Levi is taken aback by the question, but quickly recovers into a gentle smile as he replies honestly. “I hope so. But if you want this to be just a Daddy and Eren adventure, we can do that, too.” 

Eren erases his board and taps it thoughtfully before scribbling: _ 'That’s what we planned. But they weren’t part of our family then.'  _

Conflict is written all over Eren’s face and Levi tussles his hair. 

“We don’t have to make decisions yet, so don’t worry.” Levi suddenly sees the opportunity he has been anticipating and snatches it before his nerves get the better of him. “Actually,” Levi begins, swallowing hard as he slowly slides the atlas off of Eren’s lap, marking his place before closing it. “Speaking of family...there is something I want...something I _ need _ to talk to you about.”

The solemnity in his father’s voice alarms Eren as he asks in his scratchy, halting voice, “Am I in trouble?”

“No! No.” Levi chuckles, realizing he is far too serious for his own good. “No. But Daddy might be.” Levi nervously rubs his palms against the top of his black denim pants. “Eren. I think it’s time I told you about your mom.” 

His green eyes widen and though Eren tries to vocalize his enthusiasm, the temporary strain on his vocal chords only permit a choked gurgling noise as the little boy opts to nod empathically. 

Levi has had over a week to decide how to approach this topic, from euphemisms to a second hand fairytale. Levi knows in his heart, though, he can only be himself. He knows what to say, and now it is time to say it. The truth.

“Your Mama’s name is Karla. She worked at a bar in the little town I grew up in. You remember how I told you that daddy went to jail for being a good for nothing gang member?” He waits for Eren’s nod before continuing. “I met Karla after I was released. We became very good friends. You see, Eren, we both had some bad luck because we made some shitty choices. Now we were both trying to make better choices and turn our bad luck into good luck.” Feeling his courage wavering, Levi reaches out to grasp Eren’s warm hand. He looks down, unable to hold his son’s gaze as he knows he is rapidly approaching the moment where he will alter his son’s life forever.  _ Why? Why did I wait this fucking long? _

Sensing his father was struggling with something too adult to comprehend, Eren squeezes his father’s hand.

“Daddy?” 

_ This is the last time he will ever call me that with the sincere belief that he is my natural son. No. I have to look him in the eyes. I owe him that.  _

Regaining his fortitude, Levi forces his head up and continues onward without another moment of hesitation. “From the moment your Mama told me she was expecting a baby, I knew I wanted to be part of your life. I took her to every doctor appointment. I held her hand in the delivery room and I was the first person to hold you. You are  _ everything _ to me, Eren. I don’t want you to ever, ever forget that. Even when I’m pissed at you, or you're pissed at me, and we're driving each other up the walls, I still love you. I may not be the best dad in the world, but nobody can ever say I do not love you and care for you with every fiber of my being. I put a roof over our head, clothes on your back, pay all our bills on time, found you the best education, and keep you safe and snug as a bug in a rug. All these things, these actions, make a Daddy, a  _ real  _ Daddy, Eren." He takes a deep inhale before exhaling his words: "But I am not the man who made baby Eren with your Mama.”

Eren blinks at him, uncertain he heard correctly. 

“Whaaaat?” he rasps, drawing out word . 

Levi takes another large inhale and exhales as he explains, “Legally, Eren, you are my son. I adopted you before you were even born. But we are not related by blood, like the way Erwin and Armin are.”

“But you're still my Daddy?” Eren asks hoarsely, unsure he was grasping the news correctly.

Levi smiles and plants his hands on either of Eren's shoulders as he states, “Even when you are a grown man, taller than me, with a house of your own, a full-time job at the circus, and the father of a little boy of your own; even when you’re so old you look like one of those heckling geezer Muppets and you’re shouting at pigeons in the park. Even then, Eren Jaeger Ackerman, I will  _ always _ be your Daddy.” 

“OK.” Eren whispers with a nod.

“OK?”

A shadow of doubt passes over the little boy’s eyes as he writes on the board: _'Can the other man take me away from you?'_

“No,” Levi replies sternly. “Not ever. The police and the judges and lawyers would never let him take you away because he never did a damn thing for you or your Mama. Remember when you asked me if I had daddy? And I told you I never knew him because some men are cowards and run away when they don’t want to be responsible for their children?”   
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Well, welcome to the club, princess Eren!” Levi shook Eren’s hand, relieved to see Eren crack a smile at his father’s irreverent humor. Levi returns it in full. “Those guys are called deadbeat dads, but honestly, they don’t deserve the word dad in any way because a _real_ dad has to earn that title.”

“Where is my Mama, Karla?” Eren asks.

Levi anticipates the question and sighs before answering. “I don’t know, Eren. And that’s the cross-my-heart truth.” 

“Is she coming back?”  
  
“I don’t know, little monster.” 

“Did she want me?”  
  
“Absolutely, so just put those doubts right out of your little noggin. Karla was very sick after you were born. Sometimes, women get a disease called postpartum depression. It’s a sickness in their head but it affects everything, and it can make people do things they wouldn’t ever,  _ ever _ do if they were healthy. She was excited to be your Mama, but she was also scared because she thought she was alone. Even when I was there. Dollars to doughnuts your Mama had depression, this sickness, and it made her leave us.”  
  
Eren thinks on this answer before writing:  _'Did she go to a hospital to get better like I did?'_

“I don’t know, princess. I hope so.” 

“What does she look like?” Eren rasps. 

“Like you, especially the eyes and shape of your face.” Eren reaches to cup his own cheek as he stares at his father, his eyes desperate for more. “Every time you get angry, you look like her, all fire and smoke like a dragon.” 

Eren giggles before going pensive. He thinks about his words before carefully writing them down: _'How come you never told me before? How come you were always so mad whenever I asked about my mom?'_

Levi bows his head shamefully. “Daddy was being very selfish. I love being your daddy, Eren. I never wanted you to think of me as anyone but daddy. I was scared you would feel different, knowing we aren’t related by blood. I also didn’t want you to ever feel like your Mama didn’t love you. She did, very much. But I was angry at her and I did not want to share your love with her. And since we're being extra honest today, I’m still angry at her. But my anger should not stop you from knowing about her and loving her on your own terms.”

“Don’t be angry, Daddy,” Eren rasps as he yawns and fights sleep. “I’m not angry.” 

“Good,” Levi says. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, Eren.” 

“It’s okay," Eren says as he curls up with his Mickey Mouse doll and pillow, mumbling with a voice like a sick frog: "I have to add her picture to my family tree.”

Levi holds the scathing reply that automatically springs to the forefront of his thoughts, a force of habit he will have to break quickly.  _ Good thing Farlan rescued most of Karla’s photos so I didn’t rip them up in some childish fit of rage. _

“You got it, kiddo.”  
  
Eren was already fast asleep.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	18. Come Up Screaming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'So take that look out of here it doesn't fit you  
> 'Because it's happened doesn't mean you've been discarded  
> Pull up your head off the floor, come up screaming  
> Cry out for everything you ever might have wanted  
> I thought that pain and truth were things that really mattered  
> But you can't stay here with every single hope you had shattered,  
> I'm not expecting to grow flowers in a desert  
> But I can live and breathe  
> And see the sun in wintertime'
> 
> \- Big Country (In a Big Country)

"I can tell you're getting better because your appetite is back and you're getting on my nerves."

Levi stands at the foot of Eren's bed, watching his son roll around in a fit of too much energy and not enough outlets. Eren stares petulantly at the tray of food sent up, but does not touch it, or indicate that he is going to eat it one way or the other.

"You ordered this. This is what you asked for, and I'll be damned if you think I am going to run down to In & Out and fetch your ass a double with animal fries when you have a perfectly good dinner right here."

Eren turns his head to glare at his father from his half-somersault position, head tucked under his body, butt in the air. His voice has been hurting as of late, so Eren has been silent with minimal words and the use of a word board given to him by the nurses. "Do you want me to send away this food?" Levi asks, taking a stab at the bow-tie pasta with artichoke cream sauce and shoving the forkful in his mouth. He is not about to tease Eren with food from the outside; he will eat whatever the cafeteria has to offer. Surprisingly, the food sent to the patients is more than halfway decent.

Eren glares and Levi before slamming a finger on his word board.  
  
_No._

He repeats the gesture until Levi raises his eyebrow in annoyance.

"Then eat it or I will."

Levi is almost tempted to run home and stay there for the night, the level of irritation running high. He tempers this with reminders that Eren’s behavior is a combination of boredom and frustration, both emotions which Levi echos. _If Eren is bored enough to be a brat, it means he is healing well,_ Levi reminds himself for the trillionth time. The frustration, however, stems from being connected to a machine that measures Eren’s brainwaves. Father and son laughed at the cap full of suckers and wires at first, but now on day three without the ability to venture anywhere without a production and entourage, father and son are currently clawling at the walls.

In retaliation, Eren picks up a handful of artichoke cream sauce laden pasta and shoves it in his mouth. Levi can only stare down at him in resigned anger; he does not practice physical discipline on his child, but he sure as hell understands the impulse.

“What are you, some feral kid, raised by wolves? Pick up that goddamn fork and eat like a civilized human being!”

Shoving more pasta into his mouth, Eren used the index finger of his opposite hand to slam down on the wordboard: _No._

Something snaps in Levi as he aims to grab Eren’s hand, oozing with bowtie pasta and artichoke cream sauce, but misses as Eren swings his fist upward and his torso back. Levi hops on the bed behind his son, trying to be mindful of the tubes and wires.

“Holy shit, I got here just in time.”

Father and son look up to see Farlan standing in the doorway. The blond man quickly closes the door behind him and walks over to the bed, judgment and amusement simultaneously in his eyes.

“Fuck me, where do I even begin with you two? OK, Eren, you can let go of that pasta, I think you successfully squeezed what little will to live remained.” Eren releases his hand, letting the ruined food slide onto his tray. Farlan turns his attention to Levi. “Levi, you can step back and take a breather. Uncle Farlan has come to the rescue.”

Levi sighs as he slips off of Eren’s bed and retreats to his bed, another converted couch by a window. “I didn’t realize you were coming tonight.”

Farlan raises his brows as he grabs a handful of facial tissue and wipes Eren’s hand, holding firmly to the child’s wrist to keep his hand steady. “Well, I didn’t plan to, but my Spidey senses were tingling, telling me I was needed.”

“You come straight from the gym?” Levi asks, noticing the black gym bag slung across Farlan’s body from his right shoulder.

“Kind of.”

“Well, keep that thing closed; your clothes are filthy and lethal.”

“I dunno,” Farlan says, a taunt evident in his tone as he heaps the pile of tissue on Eren’s tray and rolls the table away from the bed lest any more food related crimes are committed. “I have a present for you two in here.”

“It better not be dessert,” Levi huffs, eyeing Eren, who returns the glare.

“No, but just as sweet.” Farlan gingerly sets his gym bag down and unzips it. “Okay! Out you get.”

Eren audibly gasps as two black cats hop out of Farlan’s gym bag. They shake off the stench and confinement before quickly assessing their new environment and spotting their humans.

“Babies!” Eren rasps, opening his arms. Scoots and Scuttle hop onto his bed and give him a thorough sniffing, with the occasional curious swipe of the sandpaper tongue, and eventually, rubs and purrs. Eren is crying as he holds Scoots close to his chest, petting and kissing him. Scoots, for his part, is giving Eren a full rundown of the last couple of weeks without his big brother, in between scent mark kissing Eren's face. Scuttles saunters over to Levi, wrapping around his ankles and giving him what can only be described as a feline dressing down for being gone for too long.

“Don’t hold back, buddy, tell me how you really feel,” Levi laughs, quickly wiping a tear from the corner of his eye before picking up his cat and holding him close. Levi rubs his nose against Scuttles’ head, letting his cat rub his face against Levi’s. “Oh, man. I missed you guys, but I didn’t even realize how much…” He looks up at Farlan. “How the hell did you get them through security?”

“They kept quiet when I got my visitor badge,” Farlan shrugs. “I figure, if I got caught, the worst thing they could do was ask me to leave. It was worth a shot.”

"I'm so sorry, buddy," Levi apologizes as he cradles his cat not unlike a human baby. Scuttle begins to purr loudly, quickly followed by his brother, who is now curling up cozily in Eren's lap. "You didn't drive up on a motorcycle with my cats stuck in your nasty gym bag, did you?"  
  
"No, what kind of sick monster do you take me for? I drove your dork-mobile."

"My Prius?" Levi asks, raising his brows.

"Yeah. Erwin showed me how to work it."

Levi looks impressed. "You got behind the wheel of a car for me, and not just any car, an uncool Dad car."

"Don't say I never did anything for you," Farlan says with a yawn and a stretch as he flops into a chair. "So, anyone want to explain what the hell I walked in on?"

Eren shakes his head as Levi snaps, "Not really."

Farlan's palm flies in the air, calling for a ceasefire. "Fine! Fine, don't tell me. But maybe, just maybe, it's time to think about getting some air. Eh, Levi?"

Levi rocks his cat to and fro, a gentle sway as the feline slow blinks to express his contentedness, his green eyes drooping, squinting, closing until he is happily dozing.

“Eren," Levi asks quietly, his eyes still on Scuttle. "What do you think about me going to work tomorrow?”

Eren looks up from Scoots, traces of artichoke cream sauce dribbling on his chin as he mulls on his answer.

"I don't like the idea of leaving you here alone at night, but maybe I can just get up early in the morning...go to work...come back after traffic dies down." Levi sighs through his nose. "Daddy is going stir crazy, too."

"Do you know what's going on?" Farlan asks his best friend, nodding towards Eren.

"Hell no," Levi replies. "These doctors keep jerking us around; I'm not convinced they even know what they're looking for."

"That's bullshit, man."

"You're telling me!" Levi scoffs, feeling the anger and frustration from earlier rising again. There is a rapping on the door before it opens and the fellow on duty with his residents enter. They are the last people Levi wants to see as his anger is squarely directed at them. "Oh, Jesus, now what?"

"How are things going tonight, Mr. Ackerman? Eren?"

"How are they going?" Levi repeats, hoisting Scuttle upward so that the now awake cat is being held like a toddler against Levi's waist and shoulder, one muscular arm curling around the cat to hold him securely in place as Levi storms over to the medical team. "Fine! Just dandy! The same as it has been since Eren woke up. There hasn't been a goddamn blip or beep or whatever the hell your brain sucking pinhead shower cap is supposed to do when it detects whatever the hell it is you're allegedly looking for. All I know is every second we're here, I'm losing money, Eren is losing time at school, with his friends, his family, and his spirit. You want him to get better, but you're keeping him here looking for ghosts. You wake him when he's sleeping for blood and vitals; you tease us with the promise of home and then go back on it or leave us hanging. He's jumped through all of your hoops! I know you think you can just dictate jargon to us plebs and we'll smile and nod, but my son is not here so you can play out your Dr. House mystery diagnostic fantasies!"

The doctor takes the verbal lashing well, with his residents shuffling uncomfortably behind him. Just as the doctor opens his mouth to retort, he cocks his head to the side and asks, "Where did that cat come from?"

Clearly forgetting himself, Levi allows an awkward pause to smother them until Scuttle meows loudly.

"Followed me up from the cafeteria." Levi replies tersely.

"Well, we're here late to let you know that we authorized Eren's release. I signed them, as did his attending physician, and the nurse is printing them out as we speak."

Levi's breath catches in his throat. "So, Eren can go home tonight?"

"Yes."

A rapid tapping noise distracts everyone before Levi can reply. The doctor sees Eren frantically spelling something on his word board.

“He wants to know when he can go back to school. Oh, and circus school.”

“Try school on Monday,” the doctor says. “But don’t push yourself. We’ll need to see you again next week, let’s say Friday and be optimistic you won’t need to come in any earlier. Nothing strenuous until that appendectomy has healed completely. It’s been doing nice on its own here, given everything else that has happened, but I’d say at least another two weeks. Don’t lift anything heavier than a book. Not even that cat in your lap.”

  
An hour and one tear-filled I.V. removal later, Eren is in the backseat of the Prius with both cats in their carrier.

“Should we call Erwin and Armin, or go to their house and surprise them?” Levi asks, feeling happier than he has in weeks.

“Surprise,” Eren rasps.

“My thoughts exactly,” Levi says with a smirk.

* * *

It is a quiet Friday evening at the Smith residence. Sasha is home to work on another module, namely butchery, the family trade back in Birmingham. Though she possesses more skills than her classmates, Sasha is not content to rest on her laurels as she opts to break down a leg and rack of lamb instead of going on a date with Connie. For their part, Erwin and Armin decide to forgo television for a tech journal and book, respectively, each curled at a corner of the couch.

“How was school?” Erwin asks, realizing he forgot to ask Armin over dinner.

“Good,” Armin replies absently before remembering a particular detail and looking up. “Today was Marco’s last day. He’s moving to New York. He’s quite nice, and I will miss him, but I really feel sorry for Eren. I know he and Marco were friends, but Eren didn’t get to say goodbye.”

“That is too bad.”

“I know what it is like to be Marco,” Armin continues matter of factly. “To leave and not get to say a proper goodbye.”

“Armin, hand on my heart, I swear that I have no intentions of moving. I said I would stay put, and we are here to stay put.”

“Only I would be awfully disappointed if I were to get my hopes up for something.”

Erwin finally looks up from his reading material. “Spit it out, ducks.”

“At lunch, Marco talked about how mad he is that he can’t go to camp this summer.”

“You want to go to camp?” Erwin carefully says each word as he wonders if he is hallucinating.

“I want to attend the robotics and experimental sciences camp at Polytechnic School.”

Erwin’s eyebrows shoot upward. “How did you hear about this?”  
  
“From Marco. He went to their music and art camp, but he told me about the other programs.”  
  
“Oh. Well. I don’t see why not. I mean, I’d like to ask-”

“You have to hurry, Poppa!” Armin interrupts, a certain manic glint in his eye Erwin recognizes in the mirror from time to time. “Marco says the spaces fill up quickly, and they give preference to their own students. I just know that robotics goes first. Please, Poppa!”

“You don’t want to go on vacation?” Erwin asks, feeling his summer slip away from him before spring has even started. “Not even to see Nonnie, or back to Ireland?”

“Nonnie, yes, but I don’t have to spend the whole summer there, do I?”

“I guess not,” Erwin mumbles, feeling bamboozled. “Okay, I’ll look into it.”

Armin stares at him intently. “Tonight?”

“This weekend,” Erwin promises with a firm undertone in his voice that implies his son had best take it or leave it. Armin nods in acceptance.

“Poppa?”

“Yes, Armin?”

“May we visit Eren this weekend?”

Erwin relaxes and he smiles softly. “I’m fine with it. I’ll text Levi before I go to bed and check in.”

“Thank you, Poppa.”

“You’re welcome, ducks.”

They return to their mutual reading materials when the peaceful quiet is suddenly broken by the doorbell. Father and son exchange perplexed looks. It’s nearly nine o’clock at night. The doorbell rings again.

“Oh, don’t get up!” Sasha hollers as she noisily stomps from the kitchen towards the foyer. “I’m only up to me elbows in sheep guts!”

Quickly, Erwin and Armin abandon their books and rush to placate the hands that feed them.

“We’re sorry, Sasha!” Armin tries, bounding over to his nanny.

“Totally slipped our minds!” Erwin assures her just as she reaches the front door. Erwin quickly grabs the handle and whips the door open.

“Surprise!” Levi shouts as Eren scratchily rasps.

Sasha’s piercing scream of joy startles everyone. Forgetting herself, Sasha thoughtlessly throws her arms around Eren and pulls him into the fiercest bear a hug a little boy ever experienced.

“Whoa, holy shit, what sort of fucking witchcraft are you getting up to?” Levi cries as he notices Sasha’s arms.

“Just preparing the sacrificial lamb,” Erwin replies nonchalantly.

“Well, the gods are appeased as they have sought fit to release us from our bondage.” Levi says with his trademark sass and swagger, sliding into the open arms Erwin has waiting for him. After they kiss Levi adds, “We can’t stay long. The cats are in the car.”

“Bring them in,” Erwin insists. “We bought them a litter box for a reason. Mi casa...et...tu...chat casa?”

“Los gatos,” Eren corrects helpfully.

“I’ll go get them,” Levi says. “Come help me, Smith.”

Picking up on what Levi is not saying, Sasha hurries to distract the boys. “Come on, let me get this muck off me and I’ll put the kettle on and break out some chocolate biscuits.”

“Yay!” The boys cheer, following the nanny into the kitchen.

Aggressively making out against a car is not an activity Erwin ever thought he would participate in again, but here he is, pinning his boyfriend against the car as two cats meow indignantly at them. Reluctantly coming up for air, Levi says, “We better go inside before the boys come looking for us.”

“Sasha is keeping them busy with cookies.”

Levi raises a brow. “Resume teenager-like activity, then?”

“I insist.”

* * *

Their weekend is easy going, but anything but quiet as Farlan, Isabel, and the Smith family bombard Levi’s house with frequent visits to celebrate Eren’s release from the hospital. By Monday he is back in his classroom, with Armin happily carrying his backpack, and by Friday back in the doctor’s office to assess his progress: a full clean bill of health, with the promise of returning to his tumbling, flips, and handstands by the following Monday.

Levi rewards Eren's clean bill of health with a trip to the park. As he keeps a watchful eye on his son, Levi also feels the warm sunshine of the last day of February on his face, the fresh air in his lungs, and the slightly cool breeze; he is grateful to be alive, and for Eren's health. The sounds of a bustling neighborhood beat out the sounds of a hospital ward any day; the chirping of birds instead of machines, the chattering of guardians over hushed voices of concern, the laughter of children instead of tears; even the rumblings of traffic from the main road is a damn better than the deafening silence of a coma induced little boy. Levi opens his eyes. The roar of a motorcycle grows louder, and Levi would know that Harley Davidson purr anywhere. As the bike draws closer to the park, Levi turns, expecting to see Farlan or Isabel. The driver slows as they pass the park, scanning it from behind their mirrored visor, before revving up and shooting back to full speed. Levi rolls his eyes; some bikers simply feel the need to ensure their presence is known to feed their ego. Levi is thankful he does not count himself among those numbers anymore.

  
The novelty of being back at work has not been lost on Levi, who’s pep in his step remains steady to the rhythm of an ancient stereo blasting a mixed CD of California surfer classics, another relic leftover from Levi’s twenties. The upbeat twangs of The Rivieras singing about fun in the warm California sun is why Farlan is more than happy to leave his pal to his good mood and bop and shuffle to the telephone when it rings from the office.

“SGV Auto.”

Raising his head to the sound of the office door slamming shut, Levi abruptly ceases to beat out the wild drums of Wipe Out on his thighs with two ratchets as he sees Farlan storming over to him. Shutting off the stereo, Levi quickly sets his tools down and wipes his oil stained hands on the rag looped at his belt, waiting for the inevitable crash of thunder.

“Just fucking great,” Farlan shouts. He doubles over, clutches his knees and screams in frustration. Once the cacophony of fury is released, Farlan stands erect again and sets his hands on his hips as he explains to his best friend: “That was Mule Creek State Prison. You-Know-Who is going to be up for a parole hearing at the beginning of June, and would I like to attend and speak to the parole board members?”

“Well, shit,” Levi says sympathetically.

“I should’ve let Kenny kill the fucker when he offered.”

“No,” Levi vehemently replies, clutching Farlan’s shoulder. “No. We decided, no, **_you_** decided that you were better than that. Going clean and not reaching a point of no return that would totally bite you in the ass and fuck up your custody. We handed that asshole to the law, and the law did right by us. They’re still doing right by you by letting you know that your voice still matters.”

Farlan twists his mouth, a habit he does when he is debating whether speaking a full and complete truth. “They want to extend the invite to Isabel.” Farlan looks at his best friend and adds in a small voice, “I don’t want her to go.”

“I know,” Levi mumbles, knowing this is loaded dynamite he is tip-toeing on. “But you’re going to respect her decision if she wants to go.”

“Am I?” Farlan asks meekly, brows raising like a pathetic puppy.

“Yeah. Because you’re the best big brother, father, and mother that kid could ever ask for. Except she’s not a kid anymore and she has the right to confront the shit-eating bastard that hurt her.”

Farlan sucks in a deep breath and releases as he says, “I know.”

Levi gives Farlan’s shoulder and bicep a friendly squeeze before stepping away. “Tea time. Let’s take a breather.”

After brewing themselves two mugs of tea, Farlan and Levi settle on the battered leather couch they keep for unwinding or napping during particularly long overhauls.

"Hey, I may have fucked up," Farlan says casually as he repeatedly dunks his Pekoe Orange Ceylon tea bag, something which Levi, a loose leaf purist, finds viscerally offensive. 

Levi looks curiously at his best friend.

"What?"

"Look...I don't want to get into how the conversation got to this point because it really doesn't matter, but I accidentally let it slip to Erwin that you don't have a mortgage...that you own the house outright."

Levi takes a long sip of his tea, staring at his best friend over the rim of his mug as he debates how to respond.

"That is a weird factoid to have accidentally slipped. I am dying to know how it came up in the first place."

"I know." Farlan said, fidgeting. "Look, it's not like my loyalty isn't to you, but that's kinda why I don't want to get into it...I'm protecting you from Erwin's well intentioned idiocy. You're not the only one scared of fucking up this relationship, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna throw fuel on that fire."

Levi sighs and takes another shot of thought fuel from his mug before responding. "Okay. Well, I'm not going to bring it up to him until the time is right. He's a good man; he's going to wait for me to mention it in my own time."

"I know he's a good man. He's too hot for me to let either one of us fuck it up."

Levi clinks the side of his mug against Farlan’s. “Cheers to that.”

* * *

Another week flies by; Eren returns to his circus school with flying colors, his determination to not only catch up with his class but surpass where he had left off lending him a fierce concentration that Levi has never quite seen before in his son. He is proud beyond words. By the middle of March, their lives are on track and the horrors of the hospital seem like only a feverish nightmare.

“You know, when you said ‘Come over for spring cleaning,’ I thought that was a euphemism,” Erwin complains as he hoists another weather proof storage bin down off the high shelf in the garage. He takes two cautious steps down the ladder before handing off the bin to Levi. “That’s the last one.”

“Euphemism for what?” Levi asks with a quirked brow. “Clean my ass with your tongue?”

“Hey, a healthy sampling of ass eating beats the hell out of being covered in dust bunnies and dirt.”

Levi narrows his eyes at Erwin. “Did you just say _dust bunnies_ , Smith?”

Erwin places his hands on his hips and gives his boyfriend a stern gaze. “That I did, Badtz, that I did.”

Levi rolls his eyes and groans. “Just when I thought you couldn’t get any squarer, you upped the ante and levelled up to suburban soccer mom with a minivan.” He turns and leads the way out to the back porch, a concrete slab cracked from earthquakes and tree roots, but a pleasant enough spot in the shade to rummage through his long forgotten mementos to see what can be parted with.

“Hey!” Erwin calls after him, clapping the grime and dust from his hands before giving up and wiping them on his turquoise polo shirt. “Those moms are terrifying! Have you seen them crowd a referee? They’re like a pride of lionesses about to pounce a zebra!”

The boys are in Eren’s room filling a garbage bag with outgrown clothes and toys, though they keep taking ‘breaks’ to play Super Mario Bros. All Stars, Eren reveling in discovering a video game he can finally teach to an uninitiated Armin.

Levi wipes down the heavy duty plastic bin before unlatching it with a satisfying snap on each side. Removing the lid to the side, Levi peers down into the storage bin and sighs.

“Yikes. I haven’t seen this stuff in years.” Reaching inside, Levi lifts a tiny denim biker vest, resplendent with patches. “Eren’s first biker vest.”

“That is so damn adorable,” Erwin comments with appreciation.

“I had a harder time than I thought I would getting rid of this stuff,” Levi confesses and he takes a stroll down memory lane with every memento he removes from their weatherproof plastic prison. “So I chucked it all into these bins shortly after moving to Altadena and haven’t looked at them since.”

“What made you think of them now?”

“I...” Levi shakes his head. “It’s stupid, really.” As if kismet remembered her cue, the distinctive roar of a proud Harley lion makes its presence known somewhere in the distance of the neighborhood. The sound gives Levi a violent start, alert like a prairie dog on its hind legs on the lookout for predators. Forcing himself to snap out of it, Levi shakes his head and gives a nervous laugh as he answers Erwins question. “I must be losing my fucking marbles because I swear I keep hearing Harleys blaring around me. As if they’re taunting me.”

“Sounds more like a haunting.”

“Or stalking.”

Erwin’s expression turns to concern. “That isn’t something to joke about. Do you feel threatened? Have you noticed anyone in particular following you around town?”

Levi waves his hand dismissively as he shakes his head for emphasis. “No, I’m positive I’m just being paranoid because of Eren’s health scare, not to mention his birthday is coming up. I always feel nostalgic around this time of year. I’m sure it’s just my imagination.”

Erwin does not look convinced.

“There are a fuck ton of bikers in this area, Smith. Really. I’m just confusing being triggered with misty water-colored memories.”

“Have you told this to Farlan?”

“No point in making both of us paranoid.”

“Fine,” Erwin relents with a sigh. “But the second someone approaches you or Eren and makes you feel unsafe, don’t confront them. Just get somewhere safe.” He flashes his boyfriend his most winning smile.

“By somewhere safe, you mean your house, don’t you?”

“You’re damn right I mean my house.” Erwin leans down and kisses the crown of Levi’s head. His lips linger as something familiar clicks in his head. Pulling back violently, Erwin cries, “Wait, who are you calling square, Mr. Ackerman? You just dropped a Barbra fucking Streisand reference!”

Levi’s pale cheeks blossom in rosy embarrassment. “Hey, my mom loved musicals, okay? She sang them while she worked, and anything that starred Barbra was her favorite.”

“Uh huh,” Erwin eyes his boyfriend suspiciously. “You know, you can only use the poor, dead mother card so much, Badtz.”

Levi childishly sticks out his tongue before he continues to dig through his bin of said misty water-colored memories. Striking another bit of treasure, Levi hoists up his own leather biker vest, worn with age but obviously cared for with its carefully attached patches. His eyes read over each one, and Erwin senses memories washing over his boyfriend.

“Do you miss it?”

“That’s tough,” Levi replies. “I miss the camaraderie, the community and kinship. My mom was well looked after when I was little; any man who tried to hassle her or own her in any way found themselves dealing with a lot more than they ever bargained for. She just had to give a whistle and there would be several scary looking dudes ready to do her bidding.”

“She sounds like quite a woman.”

“Nobody fucked with her; she was tough even in her own right. My uncle’s influence was getting stronger within our club, though, and with it, they were getting deeper and deeper with business outside of the law.” Levi strokes the vest. “She kept us out of it, and my uncle never asked her to be part of his extracurricular activities. He had the common sense to wait until she died before bringing me into it, at least.”Levi does not feel as tired talking about his family this time. It was as if confessing Eren’s past has relieved Levi of his own burden, freeing him to revisit as he so wished.

Erwin ventures, “Have you ever thought about joining a club down here? One that’s completely on the level?”

“Yeah, loads of times,” Levi answers. “But both Farlan and I were so paranoid about any association with bikers and how that may influence our legal guardianship of Isabel and Eren, given our criminal records.”

“I see.”

“I’ve been able to sustain myself on our annual weekend camping trip to Barton Flats and Jenks Lake, where a kind of unofficial family-friendly festival happens every Father’s Day.”

“That sounds fun.” 

“Yeah. We have decent gear and it’s fun for us to get out of the city and back to our rural, country boy roots. God, that sounds like a John Denver song.”

Erwin bursts out laughing. Levi studies his boyfriend as he casually brushes the fringe away from his eyes and adds, “I know it’s a bit early to expect you to have plans, but if you’re around, feel free to come camping with us.”

Erwin does not expect this impromptu invite, but feels warmed by the thought. “Oh. Wow. I haven’t been camping since my dad was alive; I think we went to the Olympics. I had to have been twelve, maybe. Anyway, we’d love to join you!” Erwin winces as soon as the words fly out of his mouth and he quickly backpedals. “Ah, wait, wait. I will have to talk it over with Armin and have his input heard.”

Levi’s familiar smirk appears as he nods his head once in approval. “Looks like you can teach an old dog new tricks.”

“Hey! Who are you calling old?”

* * *

“I’ve never seen Eren so motivated to get to the top of his class,” Levi says as he and Erwin are handed their ice cream. Thanks to a benevolent nanny they are squeezing in a date night one March evening, the smell of of a promising spring underlining the lingering cool air. “He’s moving at breakneck speed.”

“As long as he doesn’t break his neck.”

Levi flashes him a look equally parts angry and anguish. “Dude, I couldn’t handle that. If it comes to that, I'd have to just give him up.”

Erwin throws his head backs and laughs, startling passersby as they quickly speed past the two men.

“What, leave him at the hospital until they stick him in the lost and found box?”

“Not my problem anymore. Hey that’s a good new threat when Eren is being a brat.”

“It amazes me that one: he never takes you seriously and two: that child protection services have not been called on you from a well meaning stranger.”

“Usually I'm so absurd it makes them laugh, as exampled.” Levi gestures to Erwin with his ice cream. “Only once did it piss off an uppity mom from Emerson. She said children are like sponges and I was emotionally traumatizing Eren. It would manifest later in life and he would wind up in therapy.”

“Wow. What did you say?”

“I said It was a good thing I plan to move with no forwarding address after Eren leaves for college.”

Erwin snorts and laughs further. Their date is interrupted by his phone. He briefly looks to ensure it is not Sasha and hits the button that sends the call directly to voicemail, shoving the phone in his pocket and turning his attention back to Levi.

“You really don’t mind dessert first?” Levi asks, enjoying his cup of chocolate mint ice cream.

“Are you kidding? This is genius!” Erwin praises with a half salute with his lemon curd scoop cradled in a waffle cone. “Great way to wait out the wait list.”

“Exactly. I started this with Eren. He was so hungry he was losing his damn mind. I figure if it is good enough for a hangry six year old, it is good enough for my boyfriend.”

Erwin takes the ribbing with his usual grace. “Who would have thought a Wednesday night would be so busy?”

“Well, we could have gone to the taco truck, but somebody wanted to be fancy and actually eat sitting down with tableware and shit.”

“Excuse me. Not every meal needs to be cash only and paper napkins.” His pocket begins violently vibrating, but Erwin ignores it as they continue to meander around Old Town Pasadena enjoying their dessert.

“Just when did you turn your back on the working class and become a snob, Smith?” Levi teases.

Erwin tilts his head up in contemplation. “The first time I ate foie gras and caviar off a male model’s abs. I mean, you can’t go back from that.”

Levi snorts and does not dignify that with an answer until his brain recalls the sentence again. “Wait. Did you say, the _first time_?”  
  
Before Erwin can explain, Levi gives a violent start as his pocket begins to buzz and beep. Pulling out the sensor the restaurant gave them to indicate when their table is ready, Levi wags it in front of his boyfriend. “Saved by the buzzer, Smith. Consider yourself lucky.”

Levi drops the topic altogether by the time they are seated at the restaurant.

“Let’s get wildly drunk and take an Uber home,” Erwin suggests as he browses the wine list. “I’ll give Sasha the keys to my car to pick up. Or just pay an overnight fee.”

“You’re in a mood,” Levi chuckles. “Besides, you are rescuing one car from the parking structure but forgetting Sasha has to drive down here to retrieve it. Who would then fetch her car, Smith? Armin?”  
  
“No, no, of course not. Sasha would also take an Uber here.”

“Fuck, you think of everything. Except.” Levi lifts his grey eyes from his menu and tut tut tuts at the man across from him. “You seem to have forgotten that tonight is a school night. For all of us; I’m due at the garage bright and early.”

Erwin groans, rolling his head back dramatically. “But what’s the use of living this life without playing hookey once in a while?”  
  
“Because I played hooky for the better part of two weeks at a hospital and now I have to work overtime to claw back to where I was before life decided to go tits up.”

Erwin huffs petulantly. “Fine. Be responsible.”

Levi smirks, keeping his eyes on the menu. The moment settles comfortably again before Levi says, “It was a fun idea, Smith. We’ll be immature little shits on a weekday night another time. When we remember to take a car service here in the first place.”

They order one sensible libation each before their food arrives. Erwin waits until Levi takes a sip of his wine and relaxes against the back of his chair before steering into a new direction of conversation. He adjusts in his seat and prepares for battle, ever so softly clearing his throat.

“You mentioned Eren’s birthday earlier.”  
  
Levi does not miss a beat as he clutches his steak knife tightly in his fist. “If you are about to tell me you got him a pony, I swear on my child’s life, Smith, I will cut a bitch.”

Erwin is palms up with a gentle, albeit nervous laugh. “No, no. I promise, no livestock of any kind is being prepared with a ribbon.” He waits until Levi visibly eases again before continuing. “You mentioned months ago that Disneyland was your goal for Eren’s birthday. Is that still the plan?”  
  
“It is,” Levi replies before wincing. “Ah, shit. I totally forgot to formally invite you and Armin, didn’t I? Is it too late; do you have other plans? I figured you knew you were invited, but with all of the chaos of the coma and the surgery, it just slipped my mind. Fuck. That reminds me,” Levi continues more to himself, “I still have to book some motel. It’s the off season, thankfully, so the budget places are pretty empty.” Their server approaches to deliver their meals, Levi lost in thought with the sudden list of tasks he has to accomplish in a relatively short amount of time to pull off his surprise for Eren’s birthday. He is lost in thought, leaving Erwin to thank their server and wait patiently until they are alone again before attempting to recapture his boyfriend’s attention.  
  
“Levi?”

“Hm? Sorry, Smith, I was miles away.” Levi waves his hand dismissively and turns his attention to the meal before him, inhaling its delicious aroma appreciatively.

“I know it’s important for you to give Eren this surprise, and I respect that as a single father myself. However, given that you invited my son and I to share this special event, I feel obliged, no, inspired to do my part and give a surprise of my own.” He nervously glances at Levi, who looks suspicious and on the verge on interrupting, so Erwin hastens his speech. “As it is in the service of our children, I would relish the opportunity to pay for a two bedroom suite for us to share at either the Disneyland Hotel or the Grand Californian. In light of the fact that their Spring Break begins the Friday before Eren’s birthday, I would also like to upgrade our single-day tickets to a 3 or 4 day park hoppers so our boys can experience both parks to the fullest without having to feel pressed for time, or break our respective backs hauling ass between the two parks. This frees up your wallet to take care of Eren's meals, snacks, and of course, treat him with souvenirs, of which there will undoubtedly be plenty. Naturally, you have the final say in all of this; I don’t want to overstep my boundaries, which is why I’m running all of this by you first. But I really hope you see the logic in my proposal and accept it as my birthday gift to Eren.”

Levi cuts into his lamb shoulder, his steel colored eyes never leaving Erwin’s face. _God, I love to see him sweat bullets._

Levi keeps his boyfriend hanging until after he pops the first succulent piece of perfectly medium-rare lamb in his mouth. He then nonchalantly shrugs and replies: “Sure.”

Erwin's double-take is priceless.

“Wh-what? Really?” Erwin’s grin spreads across his face. Levi smiles affectionately, almost patronizingly, at the desperate to please man before him.

“You’re pretty cute when you slip into business mode, Smith.”

"Well, you were so adamant when I first brought up Disneyland,"

"We were just eye-fucking each other at that point," Levi abruptly interrupts to remind him. "I didn't know you from Adam."

Erwin leans on his elbow, his eyebrows raising as he leers at Levi.

"Your opinion of me has changed considerably since we first met."

Levi shrugs. "I mean, I haven't gotten sick of your face yet, if that's what you mean."  
  
Erwin reaches across the table and covers Levi's hand with his own.

"You say the sweetest things, Badtz."

Levi smirks and makes a hum of agreement before they return to their meals.

"I would like to attempt to keep this a secret from Eren," Levi says.

"Then we have to tell Armin," Erwin says without any trace of humor. "He will figure it out easily enough and talk to Eren about it if he doesn't know we're trying to keep it as a surprise."

"Agreed," Levi says with a nod just as Erwin's phone begins to ring and violently rattle inside his jacket pocket.

"Crap. Let me silence that." Erwin twists and turns, digging around to unearth the vibrating beast. He looks at the caller and frowns.

"Just answer it," Levi tells him.

Erwin's instinct is to take the call, but echos from the past haunt him. He slides the button into silence mode. "No, whatever it is, it can wait until morning." Erwin lets the phone slip back into the abyss of his pocket before he turns his attention fully on Levi and smiles. "I'm not going to let work ruin our first date night since before...well, before." His smile falters. "I...I, uh, was not so careful about that in my past relationships."

"Oh?" Levi raises his brow causally, though his heart quickens..

"I don't think I've been fully honest with you in regards to Mike and what split us up."

Levi quirks his head quizzically. "Go on."

"I told you the punchline of what ultimately broke us up, but truth be told, I did us no favors by paddling hard up the river denial. I was a workaholic at a very young age, and I carved this incredible career for myself. Mike and I met when Nanaba was pregnant, and he understood my life was going to change, but nothing can really prepare you for parenthood, can it?"

"Nothing," Levi agrees.

Erwin sighs. "I took every phone call, every meeting, every email, no matter how much it interrupted the family life I was trying to desperately build. I had a partner, I had a son, wasn't that the formula for success? I couldn't leave work where it belonged; I had no boundaries with it. I could take Armin anywhere because he would not know the difference; I just foolishly expected Mike to follow. And every time I felt guilty over a broken date, or rescheduled alone time, I would just buy him a gift." Erwin sighs heavily. "I am not proud of my behavior, but I know you have commented a couple of times about my gregarious generosity...and with this whole Disneyland thing...I just want you to know I gave it a lot of thought, and made sure it came from the right place before I pitched it." He glances at his jacket hanging on the back of his chair. "I don't want to make the same mistakes. I don't want to take the call."

Levi smirks to himself as he recalls Farlan's words: Erwin's well intentioned idiocy. He warrants whatever transpired between the two men has something to do with this impromptu confession. He does not feel nearly as awkward as his boyfriend must, and therefore Levi makes it his duty to relieve Erwin of any undue anxiety.

"I appreciate your honesty, Smith, but I'm not fucking blind; I can tell this is a struggle for you. It comes with the territory of running your own business. I am obviously nowhere near your level of enterprise, but I do have some very demanding clients that have tried to push Farlan and me so hard that it fucks with our personal lives.” Levi gestures to Erwin. “As you witnessed over the winter break before the new year.” Levi drops his hand and thinks, feeling like he has lost his point. He tries again, more succinctly. “I understand that there will be times when work is unavoidable, and it might be at really inconvenient moments for us. However, the fact that you are even aware there is struggle means you’re trying to work on it before it becomes a problem. And I ain’t gonna judge you for trying.”

Erwin covers Levi's hand again. "Thank you, Badtz. I love you."

A smile tugs at the corner of Levi's mouth. "Love you, too Smith."

The moment holds before an incessesent vibrating noise buzzes in Erwin's pocket.

Levi rolls his eyes. "Just answer the damn phone, Smith. Somebody clearly wants you more than I do."

"I'll only be a minute," Erwin promises as he reaches for the phone and gets to his feet.

Erwin returns seven minutes later, all smiles as he slips his phone into his coat pocket once again. "Oh, good," Erwin says as he scoots his chair closer to the table again. "My dinner isn't completely cold. Did you take a bite?"

"No, I was waiting for you," Levi says as he resumes his meal, closely eyeing Erwin. He can tell something is off; Erwin's smile is too easy, his attitude deliberately jovial and light.

"Is everything okay?"

"Of course, why wouldn't it be?"  
  
"Your phone was blowing up; I hope whoever was trying to get a hold of you got whatever they wanted."

"It was the Ireland office," Erwin explained. "Everything's fine."

"Erwin," Levi sighs. "I'm not a formally educated man, but I know that it's the middle of the night in Ireland. I also know that when someone is calling you repeatedly in the middle of the night, it means something serious is going on. So, what's going on?"

"A small fire," Erwin admits with the same cavalier nonchalance. "Totally containable. It'll be dealt with further in the morning, though. Most things can wait until morning."

* * *

Whatever virtual fire ignited must have been extinguished because Levi does hot have to share Erwin with an overactive phone again, though Levi cannot shake the feeling there is a look in Erwin's eyes that make Levi think his boyfriend's mind is drifting to something more worrying. _Just like I keep thinking I'm being watched by a ghost haunting my every step,_ Levi chastises himself. Preparations for Eren's birthday are underway and underwraps, with secret conversations in text messages behind locked iPhone screens and whispers whenever Eren is not around. Armin proves to be the coolest of them all, his poker face impenetrable as the birthday draws closer and the birthday boy grows more impatient to secure plans.

"Where are we going?" Eren asks sleepily, his voice nearly healed but still raspy as if he had a bad cough instead of a breathing tube down his throat. Eren wraps his blanket tighter around his body as Levi buckles him in the backseat of the red Prius. 

Eren vaguely recalls being shaken awake by his father and quickly ushered to the car, stubbornly taking his Monster High fleece blanket with him due to the lingering chill in the early morning spring air. "Why are Poppa and Armin here?"

"Go back to sleep, Eren," Levi instructs as he slips into the front passenger seat. "You have a dentist appointment later this morning; Erwin booked Armin's appointment, too. We thought we would save time and go together."

Though the idea of his father scheduling an early morning dentist appointment on the first day of his Spring Break is a personal affront to his very being, Eren is too sleepy to adequately express his displeasure.

"Okay," Eren says with a yawn before conking out. Erwin and Levi share a conspiring smile while Armin keeps his attention steadfastly and unassumingly in a book. The bags are packed and safely in the trunk, a feat Levi achieved the night before after ensuring Eren was already asleep. He did not even have to creep around in Eren's room to acquire three days worth of clothes when he merely "forgot" to fold and put away the last load of laundry he decided to do after dinner. Thankfully, Eren was too sleepy that morning to notice Levi grabbing Eren's Mickey and Ugly dolls to quickly stuff in the trunk along with their pre-packed belongings. He did not even rouse the little boy until Armin and Erwin had arrived, dropped off by an early morning Lyft driver, their belongings next to Levi and Eren's. Farlan, Isabel, and Sasha will be joining them at dinner before checking into their hotel suite at the Disneyland Hotel, an upgrade from Erwin as he does not wish to leave out the rest of Eren's family from this momentous surprise.

"Eren, wake up," whispers Armin an hour later, gently shaking the fleece shaped lump of his best friend.

"Wakey wakey, Little Monster!" Levi shouts with authority. "Rise and shine, time to go to the dentist!"

Eren wakes abruptly, trying to get his bearings. "Huh? But I need to brush my teeth." He blinks into awakeness and takes a minute to assess his whereabouts. "We're not even parked," He complains, peering out the window to take note of the busy boulevard they are driving on. "Where are we? This doesn’t look like Pasadena."

"We're going to a new dentist," Levi explains, holding up the pretense until the car turns into the correct street that leads directly towards the arched sign welcoming visitors to the happiest place on earth. "See?"

Eren careens his neck towards the center so as to improve his line of vision. He stares at the larger than life Disneyland sign and blinks in confusion. They are in a long line of cars heading for the same direction, giving Eren more than enough time to stare and absorb.

"Wait...but...this isn't the dentist."

"It isn’t?" Levi says, unable to hide a titter of amusement as he aims his iPhone camera at Eren.

"But...this is Disneyland?" Eren observes, as if he is the only one who can see the sign and destination ahead.

"Oh. So it is," Erwin says. "Huh. I must have made a wrong turn." He maneuvers the vehicle out of the line, as it is actually the queue for cars spending only the day at Disneyland and they need to drive to the Grand Californian Hotel front entrance. The effect on Eren of experiencing this “flub” is priceless.

"Are we...still going to the dentist?" Eren asks cautiously, pressing his nose against the window as he watches the Disneyland sign fade from his view.

"Well...I guess since we're already down here..." Erwin trails off, glancing briefly at Levi.

"I mean, I would have to call Farlan to make sure I can miss work,” Levi replies. “I missed a lot of work when you were in the hospital, Eren.”

“He won’t mind!” Eren quickly reassures his father, hoping against hope his dreams will soon be realized.

“I’ll call him in a few minutes, just to make sure.” Levi turns his attention to the other little boy in the backseat. “Armin, do you care?" Levi asks.

Armin looks up from his book and shrugs and says in his best little posh impression of his British nanny: "I’m not bothered."

"Are you kidding?" Eren cries at his best friend, feeling like he has slipped into a weird parallel universe. He is literally on the edge of his seat, or as far as the constricting seatbelt will permit him, as he waits in anticipation of the verdict.

“I mean, it is your birthday on Sunday…” Levi admits as Erwin pulls into the driveway along the front entrance of the hotel.

“Yeah!” Eren cries, his voice cracking from strain. “Yeah, it is my birthday on Sunday! Can this be my birthday present? Please? Please!”

“Maybe we should turn around and come back on Sunday?” Erwin suggests. Levi nearly bursts into laughter from the improvisionation, but manages to hold it in. The horror and agony of being so close to his dream is written all over Eren’s face as Levi keeps him in dramatic suspense, looking him up and down impassively before settling forward in his seat again.

“Nah, it’d be a waste of gas to turn around now. We may as well hang out.”

“Ohmygod ohmygod,” Eren mutters with excitement, not even realizing where they stopped the car.

“SURPRISE!” The trio cry, finally shucking off pretense. “Happy Birthday, Eren!”

A valet opens the backseat door as Eren shrieks out his jubilance, shouting to everyone and anyone: “It’s my birthday and I’m going to Disneyland!”

The valet, thoroughly amused yet unable to sacrifice efficient professionalism, responds dryly but earnestly: “Congratulations, sir.”


	19. Drive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Who's gonna pick you up  
> When you fall  
> Who's gonna hang it up  
> When you call  
> Who's gonna pay attention  
> To your dreams  
> And who's gonna plug their ears  
> When you scream  
> You can't go on  
> Thinking nothing's wrong  
> Who's gonna drive you home tonight'
> 
> \- The Cars (Drive)

Two weeks after returning from Spring Break and Eren is still wearing his personalized Mickey Mouse ears to school until he is told he can only wear them at recess and after school as it becomes an obstruction for other students to see. Once the dirt and sweat is noticeable, Levi bans the hat from being worn to school at all.

“You want to keep this forever, don’t you?” Levi asks as he hand washes the precious memento. “Even if you don’t, Daddy does. So no more, okay?”

“Okay,” Eren agrees. There are too many other distractions and soon Disneyland is a happy memory as spring officially arrives in Los Angeles and Eren and Armin have playdates which last longer and longer as the sun begins its climb towards the solstice. Summer vacation is not far along now, and everyone feels its impending arrival by the spring in their steps, the bell of the ice cream trucks, and the smell of verdant renewal as the Jacaranda trees pave the streets of the San Gabriel Valley with violet and blue. 

Though he is experiencing a contentedness unlike any he has ever felt before, Levi still cannot shake the feeling that something is amiss with his boyfriend, but he does not want to push Erwin into revealing anything he is uncomfortable speaking about.  _ Erwin has been so patient with me and my past,  _ Levi reminds himself. _ It'd be hypocritical of me to do him dirty and bully him into a corner.  _

* * *

"I had the strangest thing happen to me," Farlan says solemnly as he, Isabel, Eren and Levi stroll through Target. Farlan waits until Isabel and Eren wander off to the toy aisles before continuing. 

"Hm?"

"Isabel and I were eating at El Super Burrito a couple of nights ago and this motorcycle zips past. No big deal, right? It's off the busiest street in Pasadena. But she loops down and comes into the parking lot then almost kills the engine, just walking her bike slowly around the lot close to the patio. I happened to look up and..." Farlan lowers his voice, "I swear it was Traute Caven."

Levi lets this settle over him before replying carefully.

"I think I saw her, too."

"Shit. When? Where?"  
  
"Almost a month ago when I took Eren to the park, this motorcycle drove by and, I dunno...something about the driver was familiar."

"Why didn't you say something to me?"

"Because it sounds insane and nothing came of it! You would have laughed and called me paranoid."

"I guess," Farlan admits. "You think she's been down here this whole time?"

"I don't have a fucking clue, man."

"Maybe she ditched Kenny and wanted to find us, see if she wants to get in touch and take refuge."  
  
"Maybe," Levi says without the enthusiasm and hope Farlan possesses. He nudges his best friend and changes the subject. "So, what's going on with you-know-who's parole hearing?"   
  
"Isabel wants to go," Farlan replies with a heavy sigh of resignation. "I got in touch with her former psychologist and booked a couple of sessions before we go up and a couple when we get back, just in case."

Levi is impressed with his best friend and firmly takes hold of his shoulder while the other hand remains on the handle of the shopping cart. "Hey, man. You're doing great."

“Yeah?” Farlan asks, doubtfully.

Levi shakes him once as he smirks. “Yeah.” He releases his friend and continues to shop. 

“But what if the board grants his release? In front of his victim? That would devastate Isabel.”

“I don’t think she’s as fragile as you’re making her out to be,” Levi reasons as they browse cleaning supplies. “I think  _ you _ would be devastated, and Isabel would be infuriated. You’ll both be really pissed off, but if anyone is going to shed tears, it’s going to be you.”

“Only because I worked so hard to straighten out my life to take care of her and see that fucker put away.”

“What does your lawyer say?”

“He thinks that Isabel’s presence and statement will help keep him locked up.”  
  
“There you have it. So quit your bellyaching and get back to shopping.”

* * *

"Hey, Badtz, I'm just finishing up with Hitch. Come on in." Erwin opens the door to his office to allow his boyfriend passage. Levi coolly avoids eye contact with Hitch, whose gaze he is convinced will turn him into stone. Instead he moves to another desk where a sloppily organized pile of mail sits. 

“What’s this?” Levi asks, pointing to a heavy stock card whose prismatic embossment caught the light and Levi’s attention. 

“Oh, an invitation to some charity function,” Erwin replies dismissively, holding it up and skimming it with Levi. “Mr. Erwin Smith we the blah blah cordially invite you to our gala blah blah blah.” He drops it unceremoniously on the desk and retreats. Levi takes it in his hands and reads it more thoroughly.  
  
“It’s benefiting the LGBTQ Youth Center of Los Angeles,” Levi observes. 

“Well that explains the metallic rainbow trim.”

“Are you going to go?” Levi asks, tapping the card against the palm of his hand.

“When is it?” Erwin asks.

“Saturday, May 17th.” 

Erwin does not respond, prompting Levi to tease him: “You have something else going on?”

“Badtz, I get about fifty of these invites a month.”

“Alright, Mr. Popular,” Levi teases with a smirk. 

“Mr. Moneybags, please cut us a check,” Hitch corrects cynically. 

“Yeah,” Levi argues as finally finds his fire to counter her, “but it’s for queer youth,  _ our _ community,  _ and _ it’s local  _ and _ a reason to get into fancy dress and take me out.” 

“Oh.” Erwin starts, realizing what Levi is trying to tell him finally. “You want to go?”

Levi shrugs one shoulder and smiles slyly at his boyfriend. “I’d love fifty reasons a month to get into my smart clothes. Not that I wouldn’t be wearing the same duds to each one, but you know.”

“I didn’t know you liked these kind of functions.”

“My experience is limited to one time Emerson rented out a ballroom at the Mason Lodge of Pasadena and had a classy dinner and silent auction. I made Farlan go with me so I had someone to dance with, but he went home early with a hot single mom, so we only danced once. We had fun bidding the lowest on every piece, though.”

“You like getting dressed up and dancing,” Erwin observes aloud. “I learn something new about you every day.” He kisses Levi’s hand. “I’ve gone to a couple of these since moving to Los Angeles, and I took Hange both times, but I’m sure they hate it.” He contemplates the invite before looking at Levi. “You really want to go?”

“I have to brush up on my Downton Abbey and PBS period dramas regarding manners among the upstairs society first, but yeah.”

“Alright. I’ll RSVP now and send a note to Ilse to put it in my calendar.” 

“Good,” Levi says, a pleased smile on his face. “It’ll be nice to go somewhere fancier outside of the ever watchful eye of the Illuminati.”

Erwin laughs at Levi's joke before the sound of his ringtone interrupts them. Erwin looks at the phone and his expression falters, causing Levi to frown and study his boyfriend closely. He has been spying fervent, concerned looks on Erwin's face more and more, though Erwin always dismisses his inquiries of concern. Levi looks over at Hitch, whose expression indicates she knows who is calling. She looks down as soon as she catches Levi’s eye.

"It's nothing," Erwin says, echoing his earlier brush-offs, a smile plastered on his face once more. Levi does not believe he is imagining the strain of the gesture. "So, tell me about these fancy clothes you have to wear? I want to make sure I wear something that compliments."

"Erwin," Levi begins, refusing to be fooled by Erwin's forced sense of serenity. 

"Everything is fine, just juggling a lot more than software at the moment and my team needs a little extra TLC and reassurances from dear old Dad."

Levi rolls his eyes at the jest before reluctantly moving on. "It's a black velvet blazer, slim fit, fits like it was tailored for me."

"It wasn't?"

Levi snorts. "I found it at the Out of the Closet sorting center on Verdugo. It's got a fancy label and I'm a lucky bastard for having seen it first."

"As tickling as it is to watch you two flirt," Hitch interrupts, tucking her laptop in her leather Tumi Stanton brief. "Here," Hitch says, handing Levi a business card. "If you're going to be hanging on the arm of my client, make sure every inch of visibility is reading polished glamour."

"This is for a nail salon."

"Your dirty mechanic chipped nail polish might be attractive to those who like a touch of blue collar charm, but they'll be read by every queen who thinks they're the new RuPaul. Trust me. Make an appointment, ask for Sylvia and no one else. Tell her I sent you. I suggest a coffin or stiletto acrylic gel." She waves her fingers, perfectly shaped into cherry bomb red claws.

Levi stares at the card in his hand, aware that Erwin is watching him and waiting for Hitch to be well out of earshot before saying, "It's her job to be pushy; you don't really have to make that appointment. I like you just the way you are, mechanic fingernails and all."

"She has a point, sadly. Plus, I'm just scared enough of her to give this a go."

"I heard that," Hitch says in a sing-song voice. "And thank you. Walk me out, Erwin?"

Erwin touches Levi's cheek. "Be right back."

After a few minutes of hanging about, Levi decides to catch Erwin on his way upstairs, only to be stopped by a mechanical ringing noise. Levi looks all around the office; one of the monitors is ringing? Creeping closer, Levi sees a video recorder icon, a telephone icon and a red X pop below an avatar featuring a smiling freckle face young woman with the name Ilse above it. Unsure what to do, Levi clicks on the video recorder button. The screen shifts and he is face to face with the girl from the avatar. She is equally surprised to see him on her monitor. 

"Oh! 'Allo!"

"Uh, hi."

"Are you Levi?" She asks in very clipped but perfect English.

"I am. You must be Ilse."

"I have heard so much about you." They say in unison before breaking into laughter.

"It's nice to have a face to a name," Levi adds.

A shadow falls across her face. "I am sorry. I do not mean to be discourteous. I very much need to speak with Erwin. Is he there?"

"Yeah, he's just seeing Hitch out. Is everything okay?"

She looks like she wants to hang on to professional courtesies but ultimately gives in to an obvious fatigue. "It is night here and I am tired. Please tell Erwin his flight to Ireland is booked on Saturday. I will forward details in the morning. My morning. Please tell him I am sorry I could not book his flight any sooner; he flies particular airlines and I booked him on their earliest flight path."

Levi's stomach bottomed out. "Sure. Yeah, I'll tell him." 

"Thank you. It was nice speaking with you."

"Yeah. You, too. Hope we meet one day."

She smiles before signing off. Levi is still ruminating over the brief but telling video call when Erwin returns, giving him a quick kiss before backing away, alert to Levi's stillness. 

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah. Uhm. Ilse just rang on your computer. You just missed her."

"Oh, is everything okay? It must be pretty late there."

"She said your flight to Ireland is all booked for Saturday. She'll forward you the details when she wakes up."

Erwin sighs as guilt washes over his face. "Listen, Badtz, I was going to tell you; I was just waiting for that call so I knew hard and fast dates to give to you."

Levi holds up the palm of his hand. "I know, Erwin. I'm not mad. You have to work, I get it." 

"I hear a pending interjection in your tone."

"I know something is going on. Something that is stressing you the fuck out, blowing up your phone at all hours and you're doing your damnedest to...I don't know, ignore? Keep me out of? I can't tell."

Erwin gestures for Levi to have a seat, which he does. Erwin, clearly in a state of agitation, paces the office as he explains. 

"Yes, something is wrong at the Cork headquarters of Freedom Software. I put the wrong person in charge and he caused a very hostile working environment. I didn't think it was as bad as it actually is and now I have to assess the collateral damage and mitigate from there."

"Bummer," Levi said. "How long do you think you'll be there?"

"I asked Ilse to keep the return open; I'm hoping I won't be longer than a week."

A smirk dances on Levi’s lips as he retorts, “So you’ll be home in time for the charity gala?”

“Oh, definitely,” Erwin reassures him as he slips an arm around his boyfriend and pulls him in for a kiss. It takes a heated turn with both men breaking only for air. Erwin raises his brows. “Saturday, eh? We better make use of the time we have together until then.”

* * *

"Eren, get outside and soak up some vitamin D," Levi orders of his son as Eren lallygags in front of the television the first Sunday of May. With Erwin not around to provide pleasant distractions, Levi decides to tackle some much needed house maintenance. He permitted Eren to zone out in front of the television until the boy was too absorbed to answer Levi’s questions. T.V. off, boy outside. Eren decides to play buried treasure in the front yard, taking a shoe box and filling it with junk jewelry, plastic dress up princess jewelry, and shiny bits and bobs, intending to draw a treasure map to give to Armin. He is patting down the pile of dirt over the box, compressing the soil when the distinct roar of a motorcycle gives him a start. He watches as an unfamiliar bike pulls up alongside the curb and a tall, lanky stranger dismounts. Forgetting every single lesson about "stranger danger," Eren hops to his feet and dashes over to the man, with his cowboy hat and mirrored sunglasses, who is walking up their footpath. 

“Cool bike, mister!”

“Mr?” The man with the mirrored sunglasses scoffs. “Eren, don’t you know me?”

“No,” Eren says with a shake of his head. 

The man squats down to Eren's level and gives the boy a toothy smile as he opens his arms wide and declares: “I’m your Pawpaw Kenny!”  
  
Eren stares dumbfounded, shrinking away in confusion. "I don't have any grandparents."

"Well, I wouldn't lie to you, Eren," said Kenny as he dug around in his pockets before pulling out a heavy gold police badge in its brown leather wallet. "See here now, Eren? I have a badge and that means I'm sworn to tell the truth."

The little boy turned the surprisingly heavy badge in his hands, feeling its cool surface with awe. Just as Eren opens his mouth to respond, the screen door slams open and shut as Levi interrupts them.  
  
“Eren, get in the house.” Levi demands from the front porch.    
  
“Dad, did you see his bike? He says-”

“I heard him and now you heard me. Get in this house right this minute.”   
  
Without another word of protest, Eren leaves the tall, wiry man and complies with his father. Levi snatches the badge away from his son as the boy walks by.

“Now, now,” The policeman chides after Eren has left them. “You start ordering him about like that and he may just up and leave you one day.”   
  
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Levi looks the man up and down. “And where did you steal this?”   
  
“Steal?” The man barks with laughter, revealing years of a smoking habit yet kicked. “They gave it to me. I’m a bona fide detective!”   
  
“Jesus Christ,” Levi groans with a roll of his eyes. “What sick bastard was fool enough to give you a badge?”   
  
“A lot of things have changed since you high-tailed it out of there.”   
  
“Yeah, but not enough for me to give a shit,” Levi says flatly.

“Aren’t you going to invite me inside?”   
  
“No.”

“I drove six hours just to see you and Eren.”

“How the hell did you find us, anyway?”  
  
“I saw you on TV punching the lights out of some poor schlub for pointing his camera on Eren. I'd recognized the right hook anywhere ‘cause I’m the one that taught it to you.”

“Congratulations, you found us. Now it’s our turn. You hide hundreds of miles away and in seven years I’ll come seeking you out. If I remember.”

“You seem to be forgetting that I’m the one who set you up here.” Kenny makes an offhand gesture to Levi’s house and property. “You got yourself a nice set of sticks and dirt here, pal, and a little fucking gratitude won’t kill ya.”

“That money was mine, I earned it fair and square by keeping my trap shut when I was in jail. I just cashed my paycheck before the bank of Kenny was prepared to sign it over to me.”  
  
“You really want your neighbors to overhear this conversation? Nice, quiet suburb like this loves gossip.”

Levi bites back another insult as his eyes shift around to make sure his neighbors are carrying on with their business. Reluctantly, Levi stands aside.  
  
“Fine. Come inside.”

Eren holds Scoots in his arms as he watches the strange man follow his father into the kitchen and take a seat at their table.

“How did a cold-blooded criminal like you scam his way into a badge?”  
  
“You remember Rod Reiss.”   
  
“Sheriff Reiss?” 

“That’s the prick.” 

“What about him?”   
  
“He set me up a real nice gig. Special Ops.”

Levi snorts.

“OK, a special unit that organizes informants.”

“Wait. So, you’re a turncoat? You’re ratting on your own people?”  
  
“My people? Huh. I prefer to see it as playing both sides of the field.” He holds out one hand, palm up. “In this hand, I help the cops put away some real scum by earning the trust of informants who are up against a rock and a hard place and have nowhere else to turn to.”

Levi snorts again. “A rock that you undoubtedly shoved them up against.” 

Kenny raises a brow. “Might be.” He holds up his other palm. “And in this hand, I have a wealth of information on all of the dealings of my rivals. I know who’s coming into what, when, and where. I can pass that info along to Traute and she knows how to execute the next phase. My hands stay clean and I collect payments in both hands.”

“You have it all figured out,” Levi says mockingly. 

“Hey, I ain’t getting any younger. I needed a retirement plan. Preferably one that didn’t involve me dying behind bars or getting shot.”

“How do I play in? I’m not getting back into that life.”

“Nah, I gave up on that notion years ago.” Kenny scratches behind his ear as he works out his next words. Levi thinks it is his imagination as Kenny looks almost lost and nervous. “A man changes when he gets older, Levi. He looks back and reflects.”

“Oh, man. Have you found Jesus or something? If that's the case, I’m not buying what you’re selling."

Kenny slaps his sunburnt hand on the table, causing Eren to flinch from his position of eavesdropping in the hall. “Goddamn it, just give me a fucking minute, why don’tcha?” Kenny waits until he feels Levi is satisfactorily quiet before continuing. “I realize I was a shit guardian to you; never thought I’d be a parent, and I’m not so up my own ass to ever believe I’d be a good one neither. So it was easy to put you out of my mind when you left. Except, I kept thinking about that baby you had, and the fact that you were mostly on your lonesome. I guess you had Farlan, and I’m not one to sniff at the reliability of loyalty, but he had his own new kid to deal with. Didn’t sit right with me, but I reckon I’d never do anything about it and that’d be that. Then out of the blue, there you were, decking that poor bastard on television. I laughed my ass off, I tell you what. Traute kept saying it was a sign...I dunno if I subscribe to such notions, but I couldn’t shake it nor the feeling of wanting to see how you was getting on here, with Eren. So I sent Traute ahead to do some scouting and she reported back to me and here we are.” 

Levi sighs as he runs his hand through his hair before sitting down opposite his uncle. “Kenny, I can’t have you back in my life. Not with your crimes sticking to you like a shadow. I have too much to lose; I have to think of Eren first.”

“Well, hell, I’m not asking to be invited to the Christmas dinner with your fancy rich boyfriend and get all.”

Levi sits up rigidly and stares hard at the other man. “He knows about my past, so if you’re hoping to blackmail me, you’re shit outta luck.”

“Stop fussing. I didn’t come here to stir the pot. Listen. I want to reacquaint myself with you, get to know Eren. Doesn’t have to be every holiday; no more than once or twice a year even. I just want to use what time I’ve left knowing my family.”

“Are you dying or something?” Levi inquires, his tone dripping with suspicion.

“Aren’t we all?”

“I hate armchair philosophers,” Levi mutters. 

"Listen. I just want the opportunity to be better at this family crap. I was a shit son, a shit brother, and a shit uncle. Let me try my hand at being a grandad."

"You're not Eren's grandfather."

"No, but I'm the closest he'll ever have to one."

Levi mulls this over; it's true. Even if he and Erwin live the rest of their years together, Eren will still never have a true grandfather. The best he can offer his son in terms of grandparents is Erwin's mother, and Levi is unsure what the future holds anyway. 

"Fine,” Levi says before quickly adding, “However! You are on probation period. Rule number one: You can't bring your business here, ever. And by here, I don’t just mean my house. No business in the greater Los Angeles area. Rule number two: We'll never go to Oakhurst or anywhere north of the Grapevine. Rule number three: I have the authority to add more rules and change as I see fit. Whatever is in the best interest of Eren is always going to come first, before your ego, before my pride. So while I think he would benefit from getting to know the one family member I still have alive, if for one second I think you’re endangering him or manipulating him or hurting him in any way, this is immediately over."

"Fine."

“And,” Levi interrupts, holding up a hand as righteousness swells within him. “If you fuck up, and I ice you out, and then you try to strong-arm me, do not think for a hot second I won’t hesitate to use my billionaire boyfriend to come after you with everything money can buy. I’m sure forty years of illegal activities has taught you that no weapon on this planet can compare to the power of money.”

Kenny hesitates almost for a fraction, allowing Levi’s conditions and threat to sink in before he grabs his nephews hand and shakes it. “That'll do, Levi. That'll do. Agreed.”

Levi does not feel good about using Erwin’s influence as a threat, but he knows his uncle only too well and nothing short of the threat of destroying Kenny irrevocably will have the desired effect. 

"Come on in, Little Monster."

Eren shyly slinks in, his cat still cradled in his arms.

"Well c'mere!" Kenny cries. "Lemme get a good look at ya."

Eren walks closer, stopping just out of arm's reach as he contemplates the stranger.

"Eren, I'm gonna be your Pawpaw. You OK with that?"

Eren nods.

"Shy little fry, isn't he?"

"Not really," Levi admits. “Eren, this is my Uncle Kenny. He is going to pretend to be your Pawpaw and we’re just going to indulge him because he’s old and sentimental.” 

“This is Scoots,” Eren says, holding the cat up to Kenny. 

“Oh, yeah? He your best friend?”

“No, Scoots is like a brother, him and Scuttle, our other cat. Armin is my best friend. Well, he’s like a brother, too. I hope we’ll be brothers one day.”

Levi clears his throat awkwardly as he turns away before Kenny can fix him with a quizzical glance.

“Why don’t you pull up a chair and tell me all about yourself.”

Eren lets the cat down before he does as instructed and taps his chin in thought. “Where do I begin?”

“Wherever you like. What do you do for fun?”

“I like playing with Armin, my toys, the cats, and circus school.” 

Kenny slaps his knee as he barks with laughter. “Circus school! Doesn’t that beat all?”

\---

Kenny stays well into the afternoon, getting caught up in Eren’s play that even Levi relaxes a little and manages to clean in an adjacent room while Eren shows off all of his worldly possessions. When Traute shows up at their doorstep to collect her boss Levi is genuinely surprised by the passage of time.

“Why haven’t you left?” Levi asks his old friend and neighbor as they wait on the front porch for Eren and Kenny to wind up their play. “Out of all of the people stuck in that shithole town, I thought you would be the first and the fastest to leave.”

Traute shrugs. “Kenny wants to watch the world burn. I don’t mind holding the matchbook.”

Levi winces and tries not to look upon her with pity or disgust, though he feels both in his soul. 

“If that’s true…” Levi turns towards the sounds of laughter inside his home. “Why is he really here?”

“It  _ was _ true,” Traute answers with something Levi can only describe as sadness or regret. “Something happened in him when he saw you on television. Shortly thereafter he got very nostalgic. It was easy to see he misses you and feels regret over you leaving.” 

“Kenny Ackerman and regret? Huh. Now those are two words I’d never put together.”

“I don’t think he’d ever admit to it, but it was easy enough to suggest he reach out to you. It was like he was just waiting for outside permission to take that next step.”

Levi wants to applaud her for her manipulation prowess, even if the end result was opening a door he thought he nailed shut.

“Are you in love with him or something?” Levi asks suddenly, trying to keep his tone void of judgement. 

Traute’s face remains impassive as she thinks before replying. “Probably, but I don’t think you can understand.”

Curiously, Levi shrugs. “Try me.”

“I’m not fucking him, which is what I think you mean. I wouldn’t want to, even if he did, which he thankfully doesn’t. I’ve never been into stuff like that, though that doesn’t stop people from assuming.”

_ Stuff like that? _ Levi replays in his head before a light goes on in his brain as he suddenly understands. “Traute, it sounds like you’re asexual.”

“What’s that?”

“It can mean a lot of different things, but generally, it’s a term for people who don’t really have an interest in sex. Not, like, in a straightforward way.”

Traute nods once.”Sounds about right.”

Traute’s indifference boggles and amuses Levi, who silently wishes everyone he loves as much self-confidence and overall lack of self-awareness as Traute Cavan, queen of possessing zero fucks. 

Kenny and Eren emerge, hand in hand, and Levi is loathe to admit they make a cute pair as they stare into each other’s eyes. He almost feels jealousy for missed opportunities, but quickly squelches the useless emotion.

“It was good to play with you, Eren. Thanks for letting this old devil have fun with you.”

“I had so much fun, too!” He hugs Kenny around the middle. “Bye bye, Pawpaw.”

Levi gently pushes between Eren’s shoulders. “Alright, scram. I gotta say goodbye in private.”

“OK!” Eren notices Traute for the first time. “Hi!” 

Traute starts as if she had been under the assumption she is invisible.

“Well?” Kenny demands of his subordinate. “The boy greeted you.”

“Hi,” Traute replies awkwardly before Eren scampers off.

The three adults wait until the little boy is gone before facing one another.

“That’s a fine boy you have there, Levi.”

“I know. Now, what?” Levi asks.

“Well, like I said, I ain’t trying to overstep boundaries or get up in your shit. How ‘bout I visit a spell come six months from now?”

Levi tries not to look uncomfortable but replies, “Fine. Just...don’t disappoint him.”

“I’ll do my best.”

“Better,” Levi demands.

“Better,” Kenny agrees with a solemn nod. He leads Traute down the steps and onto the footpath before turning again. “By the way, that rat bastard Church is up for parole hearing.”

“Yeah. I know.”

Traute follows up with: “Do you want a contingency plan in case they cut him loose?”

Levi is thankful Farlan is not present to take Kenny up on his offer.  
  
“Nah. Isabel herself is going up to speak before the board. Doesn’t get more damning than that. But, uhm, thanks anyway.”  


Kenny and Traute nod in unison before mounting their bikes and speeding off.

As soon as they were no longer visible and the roar of their engines no longer audible, Levi buries his face in his hands and groans.

“What unholy hell have I just unleashed?”

  
\---

When he relays the incident to Farlan the next day at work, his best friend is understandably skeptical. 

“What’s the angle?”

“I really don’t think there is one,” Levi confesses. 

“There’s always an angle with Kenny Ackerman.”

“He has his angle up north,” Levi insists. “If I get a whiff of something rotten off of him, it’s just a quick phone call to the local police.”

“Yeah, but if he’s a cop, they’ll just protect him and use your record against you.”

Levi hoots in sarcastic laughter. “Pfffft. Are you kidding? Kenny is like Scully and Hitchcock from Brooklyn Nine-Nine compared to LAPD. They’ll laugh his ass out of town.”

“I remain unconvinced.”

“Why are you so paranoid?”  
  
“Hey! My paranoia has kept me alive and well. Your natural distrust and dislike of people has kept you alive. Don’t let a promising formula like that fall by the wayside.”

“Well,” Levi begins. “I’m trying to not be so guarded and paranoid these days.” He looks at his best friend levelly. “Eren’s circus school instructor needed an answer today about Eren going to summer camp.”

“Oh, yeah? And you said yes?”

Levi grunts his assent. 

“How long is it?”

“Four or five weeks.”

“Okay, not the whole summer. Not bad. Keeps him busy, out of your hair.”

“In Las Vegas.”

“Oh.”

They share a look of understanding before Farlan’s crooked smile breaks the tension.

“Hey, they’ll keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn’t spend his allowance at the slots.”

“Eren really wants to go. They get to go to a Cirque du Soleil show, watch their rehearsals, and will be taught special workshops and classes from a variety of performers. They'll have swim days and trips to museums between practice.”

“Where are they staying? Not at like the MGM Grand or Circus Circus? God, that’d be hilarious. The walls must be stained with stale cigarettes and despair.”

“No, they have a secure site outside of the main gambling areas. More out in the country, with nice cabins and studios on the premise for them to practice. I have all of the brochures at home. It looks really nice.”

“But you don’t want to let him go?”

“Of course not!” Levi cries. “I want him home, by my side, in eye shot at all times.”

“But you’re going to let him go anyway.”

“Yeah.”

“Dare I ask how much?”

“Actually, I got a scholarship for Eren so it’s only a fourth of the normal fee. Erwin normally pays for the classes, but between him, me, and the school we worked out a deal where I pay a subsidized fee and Erwin donated another three scholarships for other kids who need the assistance.”

“Daaaaaaaamn, Erwin!” Farlan shakes his head and jests, “Don't you ever get tired of all that big-hearted do-gooding shit?”

Levi smirks. “Never."

* * *

The following Friday, Levi wakes to see text messages from Erwin.

**[Erwin]** Good morning, Badtz. I won’t sugarcoat anything: I’m going to be another week at least. Don’t worry, though. The LGBTQ Youth Center Gala is still on. Love you and miss you. Kiss the kids for me.

Pushing back his bedhead, Levi sighs as he tries to think up an adequate response. Nothing remotely loving comes to him, his baser feeling of annoyance at its finest until he can soothe it with a hot cup of tea. Figuring he may as well go brew up some inspiration, Levi throws back the covers and groans out of bed and into the kitchen.

 **[Levi]** Sounds serious Do what you gotta do Smith 

Levi rolls his eyes as he knows he can do better. He takes a sip of his freshly brewed Oolong and contemplates how to be a supportive boyfriend. 

**[Levi]** You got this I know you can work it all out

It’s not perfect, Levi concedes, but without being able to sit on heavy contemplation of the written, er, typed word, it will have to do. Levi violently starts as his phone buzzes.

**[Erwin]** Thanks, Badtz :) 

Levi shakes his head, a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth before he realizes his biggest faux pas and quickly snatches up his phone to rectify it. 

**[Levi]** Love you and miss you too

\---

“I hate not knowing when Erwin will be home,” Sasha confesses during week two of Erwin’s absence. She, Connie, and Levi are in the kitchen at the Smith home preparing dinner. Armin and Eren are in the living room watching television. “I can’t meal plan properly, I can’t schedule me life properly.” She sighs in frustration. 

“Let me know if you need time off, Sasha,” Levi says generously. “I’m fine to take Armin whenever you need a break.” He eyes Connie, standing behind Sasha desperately, silently signaling his finger between Sasha and himself. Taking the hint, Levi adds, “Or a date night.”

“See, cariña? It’s not being greedy.” Connie declares.  
  
“Yes, it is,” Sasha insists. “This is me job. I’ll not be a dosser, thank you very much.”

“I don’t know what you just called yourself,” Levi says, “but I’m sure that’s not true. Why don’t you and Connie plan a night and get back to me when,”

Levi is interrupted by the text message notification sounds of his and Sasha’s phones at the same time. They pause for a moment, sharing confusion when Eren calls out from the living room. 

“Look, Poppa is on the news!” 

Levi, Sasha, and Connie join the boys as Breaking News bulletin flashes across the bottom of the screen where Erwin stands outside Freedom Software Headquarters in Cork, Ireland. His face is grave and all business. 

“I believe in full transparency, especially when it comes to business and admitting one’s mistakes. When I moved my family back to the United States last August, I left Freedom Software President Darius Zackley to nurture the day to day of the company I built from the ground up. He was my trusted ally and a friend. I would never have left my company, my employees, in the hands of anyone less. However, much to my extreme dismay, my trust was broken and it is the employees who have suffered for it. Six weeks ago, there was an incident at Freedom Software regarding an egregious abuse of power in the form of a hostile environment. Discriminating remarks cavalierly bandied about, bullying, ostracizing, all carried out by management who thought to rule with fear and humiliation. The employees who understandably no longer felt welcomed or safe did their due diligence and reported the offending parties to HR. Human Resources in turn spoke with Mr. Zackley, who downplayed the severity of this situation to me and reassured me he would rectify the matter. I took this to mean he would take care of our employees. Alas, my trust was broken as Mr. Zackley proceeded to protect his own interests, and the interests he deemed to be that of the company’s. What Mr. Zackley tragically failed to comprehend is that our employees, their safety, their well-being, their happiness and quality of life  _ are _ Freedom Software’s best interests. There is no more precious a resource to any company than the people that belong to it, which is why I am determined to make Freedom Software an Employee Stock Ownership by the end of the year.”

A flurry of questions rose up from the small army of reporters. Erwin raises his hand up, silencing them. “Furthermore, the infrastructure of Freedom Software will be overhauled as we enable those wronged individuals seek legal action and bring perpetrators to justice. As an openly gay man, I do not want to live in a world where women, people of color, disabled people, and my LGBTQ siblings have to hide or are made to feel inadequate, wrong, or less than human undeserving of civil rights and dignity. Thankfully, as a man of my means and influence, I can not only exemplify the change I want to see in this world, I can lift up others and hold accountable those who violate our most basic human rights. In the meantime, please allow me to introduce the new president of Freedom Software, Ms. Historia Reiss.” A smattering of applause among the journalists as a petite blond woman came forward. Though she looked young, everyone can sense a regal dignity about her already. 

“I am looking forward to reinstating the progressive, creatively charged environment Freedom Software was, where our differences are an asset and not a hindrance. Thank you very much.”

The camera cut to the news anchor, who begins to rehash the press conference. It becomes all white noise to Levi, who sits overflowing with pride and emotion. 

“I’ve never seen my Poppa so angry,” Armin remarks in awe, sitting back deeply against the cushions of the couch.

Remembering his text notification from earlier, Levi digs his phone out of his pocket and checks.

**[Farlan]** holy shit!!111 ur man is on CNN!!!

**[Farlan]** Fuck does he make that angry serious business daddy face in bed

**[Farlan]** Wow what a speech !!11!!

**[Farlan]** kinda made me hard lol sorry 

**[Farlan]** don’t h8 me :P

Letting Farlan sweat it out a little despite having no hard feelings about his best friend’s jest, Levi opens the messages between him and Erwin. His thumb is poised over the digital keypad, ready to fire off all of his thoughts and feelings when suddenly Levi finds himself speechless. He gives inspiration another moment to spring forth before tucking his phone back into his pocket. Some things are better left said in person. 

* * *

Levi hides his impatience well as the Gala creeps closer and Erwin’s return date pushes further away. With only forty-eight hours until they are due, Erwin finally gives his boyfriend his flight details.

**[Erwin]** Flight home booked. Leaving tomorrow. 

**[Levi]** I can pick you up

**[Erwin]** Don’t bother, Badtz. I’m getting in late and will feel bad for turning you away as I will be hitting my pillow HARD. 

Levi gnaws on his bottom lip, feeling guilty.

**[Levi]** We can cancel Smith. No big deal

**[Erwin]** VERY big deal! We are attending and we are going to look amazing. Trust me. After all of this, I need a night of reckless bidding and an open bar.

**[Levi]** :)

**[Erwin]** Why, Levi Ackerman, I do believe I inspired you to use your very first emoji!

**[Levi]** >:P 

\---

Erwin lets out a wolf whistle as he descends the stairs. 

"You’re looking pretty fly, Badtz."

Levi smirks. He managed to find matching trousers to his black velvet blazer with the silk lapels, and paired it with a charcoal dress shirt and a peacock teal tie. A little plain on its own, Levi made sure to stand out with his traditional eyeliner, a deep peacock colored smokey eye, a claw ring, and a dramatic cuffed earring with three layers of chains.   
  
“I know.” He takes in Erwin's outfit, a dark blue number that makes his blue eyes stand out. 

"Not so bad yourself, Smith."

“I scrub up nicely,” Erwin contends as he hits the tiles. They embrace and kiss. "Oh, I see you followed Hitch's advice?" Erwin remarks, lifting up Levi's well manicured hand with the glossy black nails, shaped at a very sharp angle.

"Yeah, but I went with lipstick or whatever the hell they called it instead of stiletto tips."  Levi looks up at his boyfriend, trying to find the words to describe the pride he had felt when he saw Erwin on television; he wants to bombard his boyfriend with questions and praise. Before he can formulate the words, however, Erwin’s phone is buzzing.

“That’s our Lyft.”

Levi opts to smile and press Erwin’s arm encouragingly before leading the way outside.

Erwin and Levi sit in the safety of the shadows of their hired car, watching the flashing lights of the media snapping a flurry of photos of guests against the step and repeat as they walk up the rainbow carpet. Though Levi feels a tug of hesitation, he quickly silences it as it is their turn to exit the car and step into the brightness. Dozens of cameras dazzle his eyes, voices bark in their general direction but he is unaware if they are directed at he and Erwin. Levi concentrates on his pose and smile, which comes all too easily with Erwin at his side. 

“That was more intense than usual,” Erwin remarks once they are safely through registration and inside the venue. A server walks by and the men accept two glasses of offered champagne. 

“Kinda fun,” Levi admits. “You know, when I consent to having my photo taken and don’t have our kids’ privacy to worry about.” They toast and begin to circulate the grand room. 

While scrutinizing the offerings at the silent auction in the grand room, Erwin is approached by two women and a man.

“Erwin! How are you?”

“Florian!” Erwin lightly hugs the woman, dressed in a sharply cut Donna Karen suit with a tie of red and pink hued stripes. They instantly begin talking rapidly; Levi eyes the exchange as he slowly walks up to his boyfriend, unsure if he wants to socialize with such a perky crew. Leslie stops mid-sentence and stares at him. 

“So this must be the infamous boyfriend.”

Levi raises a brow but leaves the introductions to Erwin.

“Levi, this is Florian Bowden, Chairwoman of the Board for the LGBTQ Youth Center Outreach; her partner Marlene Tello, and Luke Shisu. Luke and Marlene are on the Board as well.”

“Levi Ackerman,” Levi states as he shakes their hand one by one. 

They engage in small talk, grabbing drinks from the open bar before drifting over to a standing table. Levi is doubtful he can keep up with the conversation and lets his mind start to wander when he suddenly realizes they are looking at him. 

"Sorry, I didn't catch that?" Levi asks.

Marlene, in her sequined mermaid silhouette dress in swirling colors of the trans pride flag, repeats her question: "I asked what sort of resources you had growing up, if any?"

Levi's barking laughter into his drink startle them.

"Nothing. I grew up in a redneck mountain town. The only reason I didn't get my ass kicked is because I'm related to the toughest ass-kickers in the area. I was lucky." He shakes his head mournfully. "I know it's not like that for most queer kids." 

"As I was saying to Marlene just the other day," says Florian. "We need more outreach in rural areas, or a way to help them escape. At the very least, we need a system in place to snatch them up when they do inevitably run away to a big city so that they have shelter and resources to gain independence."

“Too many of our youth wind up selling drugs or their bodies just to have money for their next meal.”

Levi nods but counters. “Those are nice ideas, but the real issue is educating the rest of the world not to marginalize us in the first place.”

“One can dream,” Luke says with a hollow laugh.

“Have you ever worked directly with schools?” Levi asks. "My son likes to be called princess and plays in clothes and with toys narrow-minded nimrods assign for girls only. I knew he’d get the stuffing beaten out of him from kids carrying out their parents’ prejudices if I stuck him in public school. I was lucky and scored a scholarship at a small private elementary school that’s not only secular, but doesn’t turn a blind eye to that kind of closed-minded behavior. They embrace individualism and still deliver on a solid education."

"Has your son expressed a desire for female pronouns?" Marlene asked. 

"No, in fact he insists he’s a little boy. He seems to equate being a princess purely as a title and aesthetically, not a gender role." 

"What about your son, Erwin?"

Erwin holds his hands up in a defensive position. "I'm lucky if Armin tells me how his day at school went.”

“Plays it close to the vest?”

“He could be Batman for all I know,” Erwin says hyperbolically. 

Florian stares levelly at Levi with an impressed smile on her face. “We ought to continue this conversation another time, Levi. I would love to meet you for lunch sooner rather than later and hear more of your ideas about how we can further our outreach to schools.”

Levi gives a start but saves face to hide his surprise. Before his brain can self-sabotage and come up with an excuse, Levi hears himself answering, “Sure. You can get my number from Erwin.” 

Erwin obliges before he is too many drinks in, and before he realizes what is going on, Levi has a lunch meeting in two weeks time. 

Throughout the night, people come up to Erwin to congratulate him on his business scruples. Levi wants to interject with his thoughts, but Erwin’s modest evasiveness to give details aways clues in Levi that this is not a topic to be discussed publicly. 

Too tired to bring up such a heavy topic when they are driven back to Erwin’s home, Levi opts to snooze on his boyfriends arm until they must part ways. 

“Thanks for getting dressed up for me, Smith,” Levi says sleepily as they kiss goodnight a few yards away from the Lyft driver, waiting to take Levi home. 

“I love to show you off.”

“Hah. When am I going to catch up properly with you?”

“I need to desperately catch up on sleep, otherwise I’d send that car home. I’m already bribing Armin and Sasha with movie tickets and sushi so I can sleep in...Why don’t you come over for a late lunch?”

“Sure. It’ll just be me, though. Eren is having a campout with Farlan and Isabel this weekend and I don’t expect them to be home before evening.”

“You sent your kid away the weekend I returned from a business trip? How presumptuous of you!”

“Shut up, Smith. You’re delirious. Go to bed.”

They laugh and kiss before parting for the night. 

\---

When Levi returns the next day, he is surprised to find the worry lines and concerned looks of thoughts elsewhere still plaguing his boyfriend. Levi tolerates it silently throughout their lunch until he catches Erwin not listening. 

“Did you sleep well?” Levi ventures after he and Erwin move into the living room. Levi’s intentions were for them to make out like teenagers but his concern was too great to ignore any longer.

“Yeah,” Erwin replies. “Twelve hours. It felt great.”

“You’re not fooling me, Smith,” Levi replies.

“Sorry, Badtz. Am I really that obvious?”

“You have enough baggage under those eyes to take you to Abu Dhabi.” 

Erwin rubs his forehead as he chuckles. “I guess I do. Sorry; I did a decent job putting everything on a shelf yesterday, but it all came crashing back the second my head hit the pillow last night.”

Levi recognizes this is his moment and covers Erwin’s hand with his own. "I saw you on TV," Levi says with obvious pride in his voice. "You spoke incredibly well, Smith. It was an amazing speech. I wish every corporate overlord would have half the integrity that you do. I’m really proud to call you my boyfriend.” Levi's expression falters as Erwin looks downcast, a pained expression as he places his other hand atop Levi's. 

"It's not enough," Erwin says quietly, forcing himself to raise his head and look into Levi's eyes. "It's not enough, Badtz. I waited too long on this one."

"What do you mean?" Levi asks, a cold sensation sliding down his innards. 

"Yes, I rooted out the rampant weeds and replanted, but...without tending to the garden myself, nothing will grow."

"Okay, skip the vegetation metaphors and just tell me what the fuck is going on, please."

"Yes, I removed Darius and his inner circle and made sure they are going through the justice system, and yes, I established a much more competent, diverse team that will undoubtedly take Freedom Software into a new era of business."

"But?"

"Trust has been broken. I violated all of my employees' trust in me. I promised a safe working environment for everyone, not a safehouse for the men who built this unjust world and established the rules. That's not who I am and it makes me sick to my stomach that I let it all happen because I put my trust in the wrong people. Even though I eventually pulled my head out of my ass and did the right thing, there is still a lot of trust to mend and rebuild between myself and the new team running the show. I cannot ever,  _ ever _ let them down again. I need Historia and the rest of the company to trust that I will support them." He squeezes Levi's hand and swallows hard before adding, "And I can't do this from five thousand miles away."

As Erwin spoke, Levi felt his stomach fall further and further into a pit of impending despair. He knows it is coming, but when Erwin delivers his final blow it is painful all the same. Levi pulls his hand back and looks away, anger and sadness washing over him. 

"So, you're just going to pick up and move back to Ireland?"

"What?" 

Erwin and Levi spin to see Sasha and Armin, hand in hand, at the living room entrance. Levi curses to himself as he gets up to stalk around the room in an effort to release energy. 

"We're moving?" Sasha cries. 

"No!" Armin yells at the top of his little lungs. "You promised, Poppa! You promised! You gave me your word! You said no more moving. I like it here. Eren is my best friend, and I like my school, and I like Levi, and I will even learn to like peanut butter, just don't break your promise!"

"Armin, no, I only need to go for a little while. A few months. Just to reestablish a firmer foundation at the company."

"Sod your company!" Armin shouts. Levi turns in shock, greatly impressed by the blond boy's anger. "I'm not going."

"Armin," Erwin's voice shifts into his firm no-nonsense tone. "This is more than a simple business trip, and a few months is a long time for us to be away from each other."

"I won't go! I have summer school and my trip to Nonny's! You can't make me."

Sasha is in tears as she blubbers her own woes. "Connie and I signed up for a summer course in traditional Sichuan cooking. He's taking me to Cabo for me birthday; we were finally going to have a proper holiday when Ducks went to visit his Nan."

"Now, Sasha, I can fly Connie out," Erwin begins, trying to placate his family.

"You lied!" Armin shouts. "You're a liar and I'll never trust you again, not ever." He turns and runs out of the living room and up the stairs, the echo of a door slamming ringing in their ears. Sasha follows his lead, dashing across the living room and out the patio doors to seek solace in the privacy of her pool house. 

"Fuck, that is not how I wanted them to find out," Erwin sighs under his breath as he runs a hand through his blond hair. "Now what am I going to do."

Levi quickly wipes away the tears in his eyes and clears his throat of any lumps before squaring his shoulders and firming up his stance.

"I'll take care of them, Smith."

Erwin turns, half-listening. "What do you mean, Badtz?"

"You go to Ireland. Fix your business. You're right; you did take too long to deal with this situation and now you have to ride out the consequences by moving back temporarily and putting your nose to the grindstone as you rebuild trust. It's important, not just for your business, but as an example to every corporation who tries to sweep this kind of filthy shit behavior under the rug. You need to back up that awesome speech with action." Levi gives his boyfriend a stern but loving look. "But that doesn't mean your family should have to pay the consequences."

"He's my son, Levi. I can't just leave him-"

"Erwin, how much time exactly are you going to be able to spend with Armin?" Levi crosses his arms. "You know, between all of this team building and trust establishment and business shit you have to fix, how much quality time will you _ really _ have with Armin? Irish kids get the summer off, too, I imagine, so it's not like he'll be in school full time. I'm sure there is some sort of summer program you can quickly throw him in, never mind if he actually wants to participate. Sasha will be with him the rest of the time and they will spend three months resenting you."

Erwin mulls over Levi's words before quietly admitting, "I've never been without him for that long."

"I know. And I know if it were me, I'd be fighting like hell. Shit, I'm already dreading the four fucking weeks my kid is going to be gone this summer. I've never been away from Eren for an entire night until Armin invited him to his birthday slumber party back in November. Armin and Eren will be simultaneously gone for about two weeks, so I’ll go a little nuts at first, but then Armin will be back and off to his summer day camp. It’ll be just like how we did things in January: I’ll drop him off and pick him up every day Sasha can’t, and she can go and have a nice vacation with her boyfriend, a vacation I might add that she richly deserves. I know I was suspicious of her necessity in the beginning, but I was wrong. She’s essential to this family and she deserves to live her life and be young and in love. Eren gets back in early August, he and Armin will have some time to play together and then soon enough it’ll be time to start school again." Levi sighs. "Look, I'll level with you: my motivations aren't purely altruistic. I am going to miss Eren like crazy, and I could use a kid to smother while he's gone so I don't completely lose my shit." They pause to laugh at Levi's bald honesty. When the laughter becomes hollow, Levi steps forward and places a hand on Erwin's chest. "And I don't want you getting any fucking ideas about packing up and leaving for good. I mean, not to make this into a shameless narcissistic moment, but I think we’re doing pretty awesome, you and me.”

“We are,” Erwin reassures Levi, cupping Levi’s elbow and running his hand up to caress Levi’s arm. “Trust me, Levi, I don’t want to be away from you any more than I want to be away from Armin. I have every intention of making sure we visit each other and stay connected. I don’t want to screw this up and I really hope this separation doesn’t drive a rift between us.”

“It won’t,” Levi insists. “Because we’re being honest with each other and we’re operating on the same level of commitment to keep  _ us _ going.”

“Definitely,” Erwin echoes. 

“So, do you trust me to take care of your son so you can go and take care of business?”

“Yes.”

Levi smiles weakly. “Then let’s ask him and make sure he knows he has a choice.”

“I love you, Levi. I am so sorry I even had to put you in this situation.”

“Hey. Knock it off. I love Armin and I’m happy to take care of him.” They embrace and Levi adds, “I’ll admit that I take a sense of pleasure knowing how miserable you’re going to be without us.”

Erwin is unable to help the laughing fit this comment provokes. 

“When do you leave?”

“I’m thinking of taking a redeye the last day of school.”

Levi shakes his head slowly as his ironic smirk tugs at his mouth. “Friday the thirteenth. Just my luck.”


	20. Absolute Beginners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'I've nothing much to offer  
> There's nothing much to take  
> I'm an absolute beginner  
> But I'm absolutely sane  
> As long as we're together  
> The rest can go to hell  
> I absolutely love you  
> But we're absolute beginners  
> With eyes completely open  
> But nervous all the same  
> If our love song  
> Could fly over mountains  
> Could laugh at the ocean  
> Just like the films  
> There's no reason  
> To feel all the hard times  
> To lay down the hard lines  
> It's absolutely true  
> Nothing much could happen  
> Nothing we can't shake  
> Oh, we're absolute beginners  
> With nothing much at stake  
> As long as you're still smiling  
> There's nothing more I need  
> I absolutely…'
> 
> \- David Bowie

Erwin stands just outside of the TSA pre-approved lane for Gold Flying Club members of Virgin Atlantic Airlines. He turns, suddenly unsure and takes a long look at the small army that has accompanied him. 

“Did you forget something, Poppa?” Eren asks.

“No, little monster, I haven’t forgotten anything.” He looks up and meets Levi’s eyes. Levi rests a hand on the shoulder of each boy and waits patiently for Erwin to say something. The blond man shifts his gaze to Sasha, who is shamelessly crying. “Sasha, a word?”

She steps up to her employer and wipes her eyes as he gently cups one of her bare shoulders. “I’d love for you to have the best holiday this summer. When you get South of the border, I hope you can turn off that superb nanny brain of yours and enjoy your well deserved rest and relaxation with Connie. He’s a good lad.”

“He is, ent he?” 

She steps away from the curb as Erwin prompts Eren to take her place. Crouching, Erwin ruffles Eren’s messy hair and grins.

“Have fun at camp and be a good boy and write to your Daddy every chance you get. He is being just as brave as you are about being away from home.”

“I’ll write,” Eren promises solemnly. 

“Good boy.” Erwin sends Eren back to his father and sets his attention on his own son. “Ducks.”

Armin approaches his father with an expectant look. 

“Please don’t develop a robot army and take over the world while I’m gone, okay?”

Armin pretends to think on the request before replying, “I’ll try.”

“Please be gentle with Levi. He may smother you a bit while Eren is gone.”

“I know,” Armin says with a knowing nod. “It’s alright.”

“Give Nonny extra hugs and kisses every day for me.”

“I will.”

“I love you, Ducks. I’m sorry.”

Armin hugs his father tightly. “You’re doing it, Poppa. You’re trying. I’m proud of you.”

Erwin feels the prickling of tears at the back of his eyes as he hugs his darling boy close to him. It is Armin who abruptly pulls back and sucks in a deep breath, racing back to his nanny and best friend as Levi steps forward. 

“Take care of my baby, please.”

“You know I care for him like my own son.”

“I know, I just needed to say it.”

“I’m proud you made it through Father’s Day and came camping with us.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to convince Armin to do that again without the promise of a cabin and electricity.”

“Hey, at least they’re toilets.”

“Oh, they should print that on the brochures.” 

“We’ll practice in the backyard.”

They know they are stalling for time. Erwin entwines his hand with Levi’s and stares down at his boyfriend.

“I’m going to miss the hell out of you, Badtz.”

“You’re damn right,” Levi sasses automatically, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth before a genuine smile risks vulnerability and appears. “I’m going to miss the hell outta you, too, Smith. So you better write, email, call, video chat, text, or send messenger pigeons every chance you get.”

“I will. You know I will.”

“I’m really proud of you for doing this, for taking responsibility. Do whatever it takes to make this world a little less shittier for those who had to fight.”

“All day, every day, Badtz.”

“And the second you’re finished making a dent in this world, you get your ass back to your family.”

Erwin gives Levi’s hand a squeeze. “Even if I have to grow wings and fly home myself.”

“Just make friends with those messenger pigeons.”

Erwin barks in laughter before quickly wiping away a stray tear. Nodding and unable to speak anymore, he leans down for one more lingering kiss farewell.

* * *

**Wednesday June 18th  
** **From: LEVI  
** **Week One Updates  
** **To: CasualErwin@freedomsound.com**

Smith:    
You’ve been gone for 48 hours and the kids have made it their mission to keep me occupied. Armin insists I should get into reading because it will take my mind off the “crushing loneliness.” I told him I would read more if he promised to rot his brain in front of the TV, or play outside with Eren and no books. It was a pretty good deal, although maybe I should have gotten my lawyer to look at this contract because Armin has decided we are going on a field trip to the library after school on Friday. Speaking of that, I think we need to talk about how your son is going to establish the robot uprising. I don’t want to alarm you or anything, but if your kid establishes Skynet, I’m calling in Linda Hamilton to take him down. He took to this robotics school like a duck to water. Oh shit did I make a pun? Great. I’m subconsciously filling in your bad dad jokes.

  * Levi



\--

**Thursday June 19** **th  
** **From: Armin Smith  
** **Camp  
** **To: CasualErwin@freedomsound.com**

Bonjour Poppa!

I LOVE summer camp! Robotics is similar to LEGOs because I can build anything, but robots can be powered. We have not made anything yet because we are learning about machines and the insides of a robot first. I am drawing different kinds of robot designs. Levi likes me to spend time outside so that is what I do in the treehouse. They found a trampoline and balance bar for Eren to practice on so he spends hours doing flips, handstands, cartwheels, climbing, all sorts of acrobatics. I think he is frightfully talented. Eren and Levi helped me do my first handstand but I think it isn't really a proper handstand because I used the tree for help. See the photo. Tomorrow I am taking Levi to the library to pick out some books for him to read when Eren and I are gone. I do not want him to be lonely. Books are always excellent company. I think Levi will like science fiction. 

  
Sincerely,

Armin

\----

**Saturday, June 21** **st  
** **From: Erwin Smith  
** **Re: Week One Updates  
** **To: BadtzBoyLevi@freedomsound.com**

Levi: 

Firstly, I assure you that I hold an equal amount of concern over my son's interest in erecting a robot army. I do not believe he has malicious intent, merely a keen appreciation for engineering and neofuture aesthetics. The fact that he cares so much for your loneliness ought to be an indicator that his empathy runs deep and true. Speaking of which, I apologize for not warning you in advance about Armin's zealous enthusiasm for the library; I should have insisted you can say 'no' to him at any time as there is no logical reason why you need to vet thirty-two books. I am shocked the library allowed you to loan out so many at a single visit?  
Work is work. Everyone is receptive to my presence and my plan thus far, but it has not been a full week yet. Everything will unfold slowly but surely. I am in no rush to solve sensitive matters that need a sustainable path to success. Enough work talk, though.  I am surprised Armin did not raid our extensive library. I have plenty of fiction, mostly sci-fi and fantasy. Help yourself, just use the sign out sheet on the clipboard by our dry erase board.

I love you and cannot ever repay you for what you are doing for me. 

Love,

Erwin

\----

**Monday, June 23** **rd  
** **From: LEVI  
** **Re: Week Two Updates  
** **To: CasualErwin@freedomsound.com**

Smith,

Saying no to your kid is like saying no to a kitten. A fluffy kitten with big eyes. For having everything at his disposal, he isn't demanding or a brat. I hope you know that is a compliment? My kid is easy to say no to because he wants everything. Everything. He's like the spoiled rich girl Veruca Salt in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. We were able to get around the book loan limitations because we used three different library cards. I did tell Armin I felt overwhelmed with so many books, but he said to read the inside flap or back of them and if I am still curious, the first chapter will make or break me. I trust him, he is a book expert. We did visit your home library. I laughed at your sign out sheet. I left you a colorful original Levi poetry to enjoy once you come home. Your books are dry and abstruse. I had to look that word up. Armin knew it. ARMIN. DUCKS! Your son is too smart for being a 9 year old. Are you sure you didn't build him yourself? What the fuck are you going to do with this kid, man? I feel dumb just having a conversation with him. I have to look up half the words he uses. Then I have to sound them out and figure out how to spell them before I can look them up. 

  * L



\----

**Wednesday, June 25** **th**

**::Farlan::** We won, Levi!!!! Isabel was fucking baller!!!! She got that bastard locked away for another 5 before his next probation hearing. He totally tried to play it out like he'd found jesus like for real I bet dickbag but I saw through his bluff. Then when they told him he wasn't ready to be cut loose he started kicking up a shitstorm about how he has to lie about why he's in there but as soon as someone finds out he gets his ass beat  Anyway it was all thanks to Isabel because she was calm and spoke her truth and sounded like a real adult I'm proud of her. Heading back tomorrow. I'll be in by Friday. Thanks for holding down the shop I know 4th of july biz is ramping up. Oh yeah. And Kenny of all people sent in a note. Thanks for not letting him come to the hearing, but it was cool of him to use his ill-gotten power for good. And a shock. Is he dying or something/???

  
\----

**Saturday, June 28** **th  
** **From: LEVI  
** **Re: Week Two Updates  
** **To: CasualErwin@freedomsound.com**

Smith:

The book hunt continues but the process of elimination is getting easier. That Herald Mage book series seemed promising, but the gays were shit on?? That's bullshit. I deal with that in reality, I shouldn't have to deal with it in a fantasy book. So fuck that. Armin insisted I read DUNE because you called it foundational or something snooty. I remember watching the movie and liking it. Or liking Sting in his rubber underwear. Kyle McGaughlin was hot, too. So I'll give that book a whirl. Right now I picked up this cool book called The Hunger Games. It's about this badass archer girl living in some fucked up version of America (more fucked up than it is now) having to kill other kids in some sicko game. Like Battle Royale. Armin kind of shrugged when I asked if it's a good series. That kid is tough to please. Here I thought he reads anything and everything. He said it was for teenagers. I told him I missed out on a lot of reading as a teenager, so I am playing catch up. He seemed to understand. We already took back twenty of the books we borrowed from the library and borrowed ten more. Yeesh. At least Eren is reading independently now. He found some series called Animorphs and Armin introduced him to the Redwall series. If he wasn't so hell bent to join Cirque du Soleil I would steer him towards zoology. 

Before you bug me again, yes I set the lunch with Florian. I only have one more week with Eren, though, and a crap ton of work to get done before all of the Cruising Classic Cars parades for the 4th of July, so I'm just meeting her during one of his practices. I don't think my ideas are really all that profound. I'm only speaking about the shit I would have liked as a young gay boy living in the sticks. We'll see.

  * L



\----

**June 29** **th  
** **From: Armin Smith  
** **YAY  
** **To:** [ **CasualErwin@freedomsound.com** ](mailto:CasualErwin@freedomsound.com)

Bonjour Poppa! Merci!!! Your parcel arrived and Eren and I divided the candy as you asked. Sasha thanks you for the violet crumble. We had a big taste test today so Levi and Eren could try a little bit of everything. Eren really likes the Cheese and Onion Tayto crisps and the Skellig chocolate. Levi likes the salt and vinegar and the Butlers whiskey bar. They don't care for the boiled candy from Shandon, but that means more for me and Sasha.  
I am LOVING my summer camp. I even made a couple of new friends, Mina and Annie. They both go to Polytechnic School and love it a lot. Annie is very smart. I didn't think she liked me, but she is just a bit grumpy at first. Kind of like Levi. Please don't tell him I called him grumpy. I don't think that anymore. Levi really likes The Hunger Games. I tried to tell him it is a book for teenages, but he did not seem to mind. Those books aren't even very long! I thought he would be finished by now but he says he likes to savour a book. He is very picky but I think that is a good thing. I like helping him find books to read. We are going to a block party and a parade on the 4th of July. I do not understand this holiday. It sounds like Guy Fawkes Day because there will be fireworks. Sasha's boyfriend, Connie, REALLY likes the 4th of July. His house is where we are going for the block party, after the parade. Connie and Sasha are going to barbeque carne asada and cheeseburgers and ribs. I wish you could be here to come to the block party and parade.

Sincerely, 

Armin

\----

**Wednesday, July 2** **nd  
** **From: Erwin Smith  
** **Re: Week 3 Updates  
** **To: BadtzBoyLevi@freedomsound.com**

Dearest Badtz,

I completely understand your reasoning, which is why I asked for your opinion and feelings on my coming out for the 4th of July parade and party. I did not think beyond the initial happy surprise it would be for Armin, but as usual you are the voice of reason. It would be difficult for all of us to say goodbye all over again, and especially hard for yourself when you have to send Eren off on Monday. Yes, as much as I want to "bone", too, I think it is wiser for me to stay in Ireland. I think Armin is trying to give me subtle hints that he wants to change schools. Maybe I am projecting, though, but that is very much where I feel this is going. He seems to be challenged more at Polytechnic, even at the summer camp. I know he is making friends there, too. I have a sneaking suspicion this is going to become a bigger issue in time. 

Good luck on the 4th, I know it's a huge day to showcase the shop. Why don't the boys hand out business cards when they hear people complimenting the cars? They're cute, nobody would say no to taking a flyer or something from them. Speaking from an entrepreneurial point of view, anyway.

Love,

Erwin  
  


_**Later that Night:** _

**::Levi::** Did you suggest exploiting our kids to further my business, Smith? 

**::Erwin::** That's why children were invented.

**::Levi::** You have a point. I'll discuss with Farlan.

  
\----

**Saturday, July 5** **th**

"Can you hear me?" Levi asks, resisting the urge to tap on the monitor of the laptop Erwin left him to utilize. Armin has mostly been using it to video chat with his father, but the time difference and equally busy schedules have yet to allow for the two fathers to chat.

"You sound raspy, but judging by that gigantic cup of tea in your hands and the fact that it is noon and you're still in a robe makes me think it has nothing to do with the software."

Levi groans in response, taking another long sip of tea. "I'm still recovering from yesterday. I need to remind myself I am not twenty and drinking PBR is only for kids who don't know any better."

Erwin laughs before asking, "Where are the boys?"

"At your house. I'm giving them until two o'clock before I go get Eren so we can spend some time together before tomorrow."

"Is he all packed?"

"Yeah, I did the rest of the laundry yesterday morning before the parade and finished labeling his clothes with Sasha before the block party. I had exactly zero minutes to myself until I collapsed into bed at one in the morning."

"How was the block party?"

Levi exhales. "Fun, exhausting, chaos. There were so many kids. I think a few of them were Connie's little brothers and sisters...mostly neighbors though. Eren and Armin had a blast getting to run around in a closed off street and throw poppers and wave sparklers and eat all of the crappy food they wanted."

"I am very sorry I missed it."

Levi waves away his apologies. 

"How are you holding up?"

"I'm holding up," Levi replies with a shrug. "Trying not to obsess over it. I was going to make a big stink with a send off party for Eren, but I think that would be more disruptive to him. I don't want him feeling the stress and anxiety over being away from home; I just want to normalize it."

"So no grand so long, farewell numbers, then. What will you two Ackermen get up to?"

"Taco truck, ice cream, and snuggles with television. Pretty standard for us." Levi holds his mug up in a salute. “Thank you for the pre addressed and stamped postcard idea; ingenious.”

Erwin gives a slight forward incline of his head. "I live to serve.”

  
\-----  
  


**Thursday, July 10** **th**

Dear Daddy,

Our cabin was GROSS! Lots of dust and cobwebs. 

You would be so mad. Don’t worry, I made my friends clean. 

They were mad until our teacher saw our clean room. 

Then we got to eat first for two days. Hah! WIN!  
  
Hugs and Kisses,

Eren

\----

  
**Saturday, July 12** **th  
**  
Dear Daddy,  
  
I DID IT! I climbed up to the top of the silks and curled and twirled  
and did flips and held my place UPSIDE DOWN! I hope someone  
got a photo. My landing was not as graceful as my teacher wants,  
but she said it’s a start. YIPPY.  
Hugs and Kisses,  
Eren

\-----

**Sunday, July 13** **th  
** **From: LEVI  
** **Re: Week Four Updates  
** **To: CasualErwin@freedomsound.com**

Smith:

Eren is adjusting well to camp. He’s climbing and tumbling in midair on silk ropes, which made me rush to the liability clause. I won’t lie; Isabel and Farlan had to calm me down and convince me not to rush out to Las Vegas at one AM and pull my kid from his bunk, throw him in the sidecar and never look back. Eren made his bunkmates clean because it was not up to my standard. They probably would have beat him up or shunned him if there wasn’t ultimately an incentive involved in having the cleanest room, I guess. Farlan thinks I should talk to Eren about pushing others around, but I’m actually proud of him. He won’t be a doormat to shitty roommates who can’t pick up after themselves, and when he’s older and trying to impress a date, his cleanliness will definitely earn him points. I’m doing Eren a favor by being such a hardass “clean freak” - while these other parents are being goons and letting their kids’ sloven habits slide. I refuse to be shamed for this. Anyway. I hate saying life is quieter without Eren here, but it’s true. Your kid is so quiet I have to constantly check on him to make sure he’s alive and not trapped under a pile of rubble or something. I’m not going to say it’s unnerving after I just wrote a whole paragraph dedicated to defending my own parenting, but I am sure Armin thinks I’m a spaz with the amount of times I check on him. Got any tips?

So, Florian and I finally met up for lunch. I always forget the 4th of July is a get out of town kind of weekend because I’m so busy with work. We met Friday and I am still baffled how I walked away even deeper involved than I was before - which is to say, not at all. All I suggested was coming up with a program like those assembly days we used to have in school where some weirdo with puppets would come and talk to us about the perils of drugs. McGruff the crime dog and all that stranger danger shit we were force fed. Only this time, it’s not about BEWARE! But like, sensitivity? Being not just tolerant but accepting. Being allies and finding a safe person to come out to. I don’t know. I was babbling a lot. Florian seemed to like whatever I said though because they said they’d write up a proposal and send it to me for approval. Approval? I told them I wasn’t going to facilitate it but they said since it’s my idea, they want my input throughout the process. They expect resistance from the school, kind of like sex ed where parents might get their knickers in a twist over their precious spawn learning facts. But that’s for lawyers to figure out. What a weird turn of events. 

I finished Mockingjay (Hunger Games part 3) last night so I’m onto Dune now. Wish me luck. 

  * L



  
\----

**Tuesday, July 15** **th**

Dear Daddy,

We saw the COOLEST show on Saturday! We met the whole  
cast and got to talk to them. Then on Monday we watched them   
rehearse and they showed us every single move they do while  
talking about it with us. We got to ask questions and do practice  
maneuvers with them. It was the best day of my life! Except when  
I met Armin. And when we got the kitties.

Hugs and Kisses,   
Eren 

  
\----

**Tuesday, July 16** **th**

Dear Armin,

I'm having a lot of fun at my camp but I miss everyone a lot.   
Don't tell my Dad because I don't want him to know. It was   
brave of him to let me go here. My friends here are OK but they    
are not you. You're my BEST friend. I am doing lots of activities so   
I do not miss home so much. I hope you are having fun, too. Have you   
built your robot army yet?

Your Very Bestest Friend,

Eren

  
\----

**Saturday, July 19** **th**

As soon as he removes his helmet, Farlan is aware of music blaring from Levi’s backyard. He follows the cracked paved path along the side of the house, through the wood gate and into the backyard. Farlan takes in the sight before him before announcing his presence: Levi, in his grungiest paint splattered clothes, with several sheets of tarp on the ground, dismantled furniture all around him. Levi is wearing protective eyewear and a face mask as he vigorously sands a dresser drawer in tune with  _ Lost and Found _ by Echo and the Bunnymen.

_ As the sky fell down _

_ I was lost and found _

_ Saw my world spin round _

_ Round and round _

_ All the ghosts have gathered round me _

_ Come to tell me of a change _

_ In the darkness that surrounds me _

_ I am falling down again _

_ On this haunted ground _

_ I was lost and found _

“Hey, buddy,” Farlan interrupts, trying and failing at keeping a neutral face. “Whatcha doing?”

Levi starts and looks up. Setting aside his burden, he removes the mask and pushes the protective glasses to his head. 

“Oh, you know, just a little weekend project. We got Eren his bedroom furniture at a thrift store forever ago and I kept meaning to paint it for him...but you know, life gets busy and shit so it was just one of those things that kept getting pushed to the bottom of the pile. So I thought it would be a nice surprise for him to come home to fresh painted furniture!”

“Yeah,” Farlan nods, rolling that excuse in his head to detect any bullshit. “OK, well, I guess I’d rather have you put your anxiety to good productive use than do anything weird like...I dunno, draw a face on a pillowcase, name it Eren and start talking to it.”

“Give me some credit, dude. I’m trying.”

Farlan holds his hands in a placating gesture. “I know. I’m sorry. It’s just been a full week without Eren here and I know Armin is with Sasha this weekend, so I thought I’d check on you. I figure you wouldn’t be able to stand an empty house.”

“I appreciate your concern, but I’m fine.”

Farlan looks doubtful but does not press the topic. “What colors did you decide on?”

“Oh, I was in the hardware store forever and couldn’t decide. I think if the owner didn’t know me personally he would have called the cops. So I just lost my cool entirely and bought a hodge-podge of colors I know Eren likes.”

“Pink?” Farlan ventures.

“And blue,” Levi adds. “Purple. Yellow. Green. And another shade of pink because I couldn’t guess if he’d like Barbie blood pink or 1950s housewife pink more.”

They sit in silence before Farlan says, “Eren loves color.”

“He sure as shit does.”

“Okay, tell me where you keep the other crap clothes. I’ll get started on priming the furniture you already have sanded.”

“Fabric bin under my bed.” Levi waits until Farlan has one foot in the mud room before he adds, “Hey, man.”

Farlan looks over his shoulder. “Hm?” 

“Thanks.”

“Tch.” Farlan’s smirk softens. “Don’t sweat it, homie.” 

\----  
  


**Friday, July 25** **th**

Armin watches his nanny from the safe perch on the barstool in her tiny kitchenette as Sasha dashes around the cozy room, turning out drawers and tossing every article of clothing she owns onto her bed. 

"Why didn't you pack earlier?" Armin asks, twisting in his swivel stool.

"You'll not get on me arse," Sasha warns him. "I suppose you're all packed to see your nan?"

"Yes, I've been packed since Tuesday. Levi packed my clothes while I was at summer camp and then he helped me pack my carry on."

"Well, la dee dah," Sasha says with a raspberry blown at her charge. He rolls his blue eyes at her childishness. She returns to the pile on her bed and begins to dig. "What's the time, Ducks?"

Armin looks up at the retro cat clock. "A quarter to two."

"Shit! Connie will be here at two!"

Armin looks down at her empty carry-on, hot pink leopard print exterior with a neon lime green liner. "Well, you'll be by the water, so pack for water."

"That's good, okay, yeah," Sasha says, grabbing a bikini and tossing it into the suitcase. 

"Is there a pool?"

"Yeah, and an ocean!"

"Take two swimsuits, then."

"Right."

"What's the weather there?"

"Hot."

"Pack short trousers. Maybe a skirt. One of your long skirts that you got in Bali last summer."

"Oh, you're brill, Ducks!"

"Will it be cool at night, being by the ocean?"

Sasha thinks for a moment. "I dunno."

"Hotels are always cold. Pack a jumper. Or a light jacket."

"Where would I be with you, Ducks?"

"England, I suppose." Armin suddenly adds, "Going anywhere nice for dinner?" 

"I dunno. Maybe. The resort does have a posh restaurant."

"Pack a smart dress. Medium smart. Mexico is a hot country, after all."

Nodding, Sasha digs through her pile of clothes, dropping whatever she deems appropriate into the open suitcase. 

"I think I got enough," Sasha proudly announces. 

"Pants?" Armin guesses after a glance at her suitcase. 

"Bugger," Sasha huffs, combing through to find several pairs of undergarments, shoving a fistful into her suitcase. 

“Hat, to keep the sun off your face.” 

Sasha crams a floppy hot pink hat on her head and nods.

“Toothbrush?” 

“Oh, I packed me make-up and toiletries.” She taps the side of her head. “Haven’t gone completely daft.”

“What kind of shoes are you bringing?”

“Flip-flops and plimsolls good enough innit?”

“For a posh dinner?”

“Oh right.” She proceeds to dig in her closet, tossing out shoes willy-nilly. 

“Does Connie mind you’re taller than him?” Armin asks, pulling back to dodge an errant stiletto. 

“Nah,” Sasha insists as she triumphantly recovers a pair of sparkling black heels. “Connie likes that I’m tall; he is a confident lad. It’s why I love him.”

They both give a start, as if zapped by static electricity. Armin and his nanny exchange awkward glances. 

“You...love Connie?” Armin asks tentatively.

A smile quirks at the corner of Sasha’s mouth and her cheeks color. “Go wait in the house for Connie. Tell him to grab the snack bags in the fridge while you come an’ get me.”

Armin slides off the stool and nods, leaving his nanny to finish packing and feel her feelings.   
  


\----  
  


**Saturday, July 26** **th**

Sasha leans on the ledge of the infinity plunge pool that yawns across the veranda of the private bungalow she has been calling home, albeit temporarily, with Connie. The sun is setting between two palms, making ripples of violet, orange, and pink across the ocean surface. A glass containing a cocktail as vibrant and tropical as the view comes into her peripheral. She accepts it and gently toasts with an identical glass Connie holds in his opposite hand.

“Cheers, cariña.”

After their inaugural sip, Sasha swishes around the straw and makes eyes at Connie. “I’m sorry I vetoed the pig roast at your cousin’s farm. Another time?”

Connie shrugs. “It’s your birthday; we go where you want to go.”

“I just didn’t want either of us to snap into chef mode and get stuck in a kitchen cooking for a mess of people. I can’t wait to meet the rest of your family, Connie, really. I just wanted this to be for us.”

“No complaints from me, cariña.” He leans in for a kiss. They turn westward to watch the culmination of the sunset. “I know you’ve traveled all over the world and back,” Connie says with a gesture towards the sunset. “How does this view rank?”

Sasha glances at the sunset with a critical eye before nuzzling next to her boyfriend. “Not too shabby, but it’s more about the company than the view.”

Connie raises his glass again. "Happy Birthday, Sasha." 

  
\----

**Sunday July 27** **th  
** **From: LEVI  
** **Week Five Updates  
** **To:** [ **CasualErwin@freedomsound.com** ](mailto:CasualErwin@freedomsound.com)

Smith:

Now that both Sasha and Armin are gone, Farlan is insisting he joins me for dinner every evening. Isabel said she’ll join when she doesn’t have plans, but that doesn’t seem to be very often. I think Farlan is lonely too but too scared to admit it. I’m not. I didn’t realize how well I was holding it together for Sasha and Armin. It’s like they were scaffolding to my leaning, wonky ass crumbling tower. Everything is so quiet. Even the cats are quiet. I’ll probably spend more time at work. Today was initially easy because there was a lot of cleaning to do. Now that the house is spic and span, and Farlan and Isabel left, the quiet seeped in. My mom hated quiet; she always had to have a radio or television on. Looking back, I think the quiet is what unsettled her and drove her to drink more. Alone with her thoughts and worries. I’m grateful I have my friends, and that I have you. Do you see what being alone is making me do? It’s making me sappy. I’m quitting this email while I’m still attractive. 

  * L



  
PS. DUNE is slow going. I have to pause every few paragraphs and write a list of words I don’t know then I have to look up their enunciation. Thankfully tons of nerds on YouTube have that covered, but it does slow down my progress.

  
\----  
  


**Tuesday, July 29** **th**

“Levi?” Farlan calls into the eerily quiet house. Balancing grocery bags in each arm, Farlan kicks the door shut behind him and manages to wiggle out of each shoe before continuing further into the house. “Levi, are you here? I got dinner; that nice fresh fettuccini in the fridge section, no dry shit for my best friend.” Rounding the corner, Farlan spies his friend through the hall and into the kitchen, where Levi is sitting at the table, smoking a clove cigarette. Farlan laughs as he enters the threshold. 

“Aren’t you a little old for cloves?”

His best friend looks up at him, his puffy, red eyes still wet with recent tears. Farlan lets the groceries gently slide down onto the ground before he rushes into the chair next to Levi. 

“Hey, what’s this? What’s wrong? Is everything okay?”

“I tried writing Eren a letter,” Levi replies shakily. “I can’t do it. Every time I pick up the fucking pen, I just vomit words all over the goddamn paper.”

“Gross. Okay. Hey. Look.” Farlan takes the pen from Levi’s other hand and rips a new sheet of paper from the pad of paper. “I’ll write, okay? You dictate. He’ll never know, and they’ll still be your words. OK?”

Levi nods. ”Okay.”

“Go.”

Levi takes a long drag from his cigarette and begins to dictate. “Dear Eren. I hope you’re having fun but also working hard. Have you made any friends? What are your days like? Don’t lose your allowance on the strip and get in deep with the loan sharks.” Levi chuckles at his own joke before sniffling loudly. “I love you and miss you. Armin isn’t here anymore, he’s visiting his grandma. I’m all alone and I don’t know what to do with myself. I thought I could let you go but it’s harder than I thought...with no Erwin, no Armin, no Sasha...and Isabel getting ready for college. Scoots and Scuttles miss you just as much as I do, and they cry all day...but they’re cats and don’t know any better...but I do. I do and I love and miss you and you’re not here.” Levi takes another long, choking drag of his clove cigarette before covering his face with his hands. 

Farlan puts the pen down and reaches over to grasp his best friend’s shoulder. “Hey, man. It’s okay. You’re doing great. You’ve held up this long and I’m super proud of you. Just gotta hang on for these last two weeks and he’ll be back.”

“I know, I know,” Levi says, taking one lasting puff before stubbing out his clove in a chipped saucer. 

“Go put away the groceries, I’ve got perishables. I’ll finish up this letter.”

Happy to have something to occupy his hands, Levi obeys his best friend. 

“Thankfully I stopped writing when my Spidey senses told me you were about to lose your shit,” Farlan says as he skims over the letter. “ ‘Dear Eren, I hope you’re having fun but working hard. Tell me about your friends and what your days are like. Don’t lose your allowance on the strip and get in deep with the loan sharks. Armin is visiting his grandma now and Sasha is on vacation, so Uncle Farlan and I get to kick it and help Isabel prepare for college. We will have a big ass blowout barbecue party before she leaves. The cats will give you a huge welcome home cuddle when you get back. Have fun and wash behind your ears. Hugs and Kisses, Daddy.’”

Levi closes the fridge and turns to lean on the door. “That’s perfect.”

“I know,” Farlan says cavalierly as he rips the paper expertly from the seam of the pad. “Now fetch me a stamp and an envelope so I can pop this into the mail before you have another meltdown.”  
  


\----

**Friday, August 1** **st**

HEY ISABEL!   
Cabo is AMAZING! You def. have to check it out when you have spring break. I know I’m jumpin’ WAY ahead of the game, but you gotta plan! This resort is gorgeous. We plan to go on a few animal adventures like scuba diving, which I know you’ll love. It helps that Connie speaks fluent Spanish ofc. Mostly we just stay at the resort to swim, drink, and eat. And other things ;) 

Luv ya!   
\- Sasha

\----

**Sunday August 3** **rd  
** **ERWIN SMITH  
** **Re: Week 5 Updates  
** **To: BadtzBoyLevi@freedomsound.com**

Dearest Badtz:    
Officially less than a week until Eren returns, and I am positive you have some sort of countdown schedule going on. I spoke with my mother earlier this morning; she and Armin are berry picking, lavender picking, and taking strolls through the Olympic Mountains. She indulges all of his scholarly curiosity, takes him to all of the museums, the interesting galleries, and is keen to teach him about the indigenious peoples of the Pacific Northwest. I forget how alike they are in their pursuit of knowledge and almost scientific passion in cultural anthropology. Thankfully he has his passport with him so if she decides to take him to Victoria Island or Vancouver, he's set. I'm not usually a proponent of distraction, but I am grateful she is there to deflect and balance out his more solitary nature. Just as I am grateful for Eren. I know, I know. I can hear you now. 'Gross, Smith.' Yes, I'm a big, slobbering golden retriever of sentiment. It's one of the myriad of reasons you love me. 

Love, 

Erwin

P.S. How goes DUNE?

\-----  
  


**Tuesday, August 5** **th  
** **From: LEVI  
** **Re: Week Five Updates  
** **To:** [ **CasualErwin@freedomsound.com** ](mailto:CasualErwin@freedomsound.com)

There is no Levi. Only Muad'Dib.

  
  


**_Later that Night:_ **

**::Erwin::** I take from your succinct email that you are enjoying DUNE?

**::Levi::** The Spice Must Flow.

**::Erwin::** This thrills me beyond words.

**::Levi::** Although I think Paul and Feyd should be banging.

**::Erwin::** You and half the fandom.

**::Levi::** What's a fandom?

**::Erwin:: 😲**

\----  
  


**Saturday, August 9** **th**

Levi watches the other parents gather in their cliques, his judgmental gaze hidden safely behind oversized sunglasses. He stands apart, comfortably so, as he always had since becoming a parent. Levi earns his fair share of curious stares and raised eyebrows; nothing he has not experienced before. His impassive expression does not betray the impatience jitter coursing through his veins as he waits for the bus to pull into the parking lot of the boarded up grocery store down the street from the studio. 

“Are they staring at us?” Farlan asks from his position inside the bed of Levi’s truck. 

“Yup,” Levi replies.

“What's their problem?" Sasha snaps defensively, standing in the bed of the truck while leaning on the cab. 

“Tattoos. Piercings. Motorcycles. Take your pick.”

Isabel frowns dramatically, an unconscious trait her brother loves about her. She sticks her tongue out at the next lazy covert stare she catches.

“Ignore them," Levi advises. He stops his body from tensing as another father looks at him and decides to approach. 

"I'll punch him in the throat, big bro," Isabel hisses quietly. Farlan tugs on one of her pigtails as Isabel growls.

"Shush!" Farlan snaps. "Down, girl."

"Excuse me, are you Eren's father?"

"I am," Levi affirms.

The man sticks out his hand for Levi to shake. "My daughter Yelena talks nonstop about your son. She said he's the best in their level and then some. She wrote quite a bit about him over the summer, too." He chuckles. "I don't know if this is a crush or just awe in its purest form, but I thought I'd say hello just in case we become in-laws one day." 

Though the thought of his son being talked about in this manner by this complete stranger of a man makes Levi's stomach roil in disgust, he manages to keep his cool just long enough to notice the bus pulling into the parking lot. 

"He's here!" Isabel cries. "Quick, get the sign!"

"Nice to meet you," Yelena's father says before rejoining his wife. 

"Uh huh," Levi nods dismissively, taking hold of the end of the long banner Sasha, Connie, and Isabel made from butcher paper, Sharpies and many cups of tea to keep their creativity flowing. The charter bus kills the engine and waits as the head instructor gives her tired and anxious wards directions for an orderly check out process. Once the doors open and the children begin to disembark, it is a clusterfuck free for all. Levi grins as he spies the silhouette of a child eagerly jumping up and down, waiting for the queue to file off the bus. He knows that messy bedhead and jittery joy anywhere. 

“Yay! Welcome home, Eren!” Isabel chants as Eren makes his way off the bus and propels himself straight into Levi’s arms. Sasha picks up where Levi drops the banner in favor of encompassing his only child close.

“Daddy, I missed you!” Eren says, his voice muffled by Levi’s black T-shirt.

“I missed you, too, little monster,” Levi says, ruffling his son’s hair. “Welcome home.”

Eren looks up at the rest of his family and grins at the banner. “Hi, Uncle Farlan! Hi, Isabel, hi Sasha! Did you miss me?”

“Not even a little bit,” Farlan jokes. “Hey, what’s that?” Farlan asks, pointing at Eren’s face. 

“Hm?” Eren looks quizzically then remembers and grins wide as Levi takes hold of his chin. “I lost my last baby tooth!”

“You didn’t write about that,” Levi says with mild surprise.

“It happened days ago,” Eren replies offhandedly. “I was going to surprise you and then I kinda forgot.”

“You missing anything else?” Levi demands.

“Nope,” Eren vows with a giggle.

“No extra limbs?”

“No, promise.”

“I guess I trust you.” Levi crouches down to be at ear level to his son. “Who’s Yelena, by the way?”

Eren groans and rolls his eyes before carefully looking over his shoulder and quickly looking forward again. “See over there? The tall girl with the short blond hair and the crazy eyes? That’s her.”

“You don’t like her?”

“She’s... _ really _ intense.”

“Gotcha.” Levi rights himself. “OK, I have to get your suitcase and sign you out. Try not to lose anything else while I’m gone, okay?”

“OK,” Eren giggles. After a few minutes of fawning from Sasha and Isabel, Eren catches Farlan’s eye. 

“How did Daddy do without me?” Eren asks in a low voice.

Farlan nods thoughtfully. “It was tough, but he soldiered through it like a champ.”

Eren’s Jack-o-Lantern smile reveals his relief as he looks over at his father heading back to them with his suitcase. “Good. I’m so proud of him!”

\-----

**Monday, August 11** **th**

Dear Eren,

I am sorry this is my only letter to you. I know you were busy at camp and I am not sure I will be good at writing letters. I mostly write emails to Poppa. But I thought it would be fun to try. My holiday with Nonny is almost over but it felt so quick because we have been SO busy. Nonny wakes up at 5:30 AM every morning. EVERY morning! Even weekends. She says she likes to rise with the sun and welcome it with her stretching. She will stretch in the backyard if it isn’t raining. When it rains, she exercises on her covered porch. I got up a couple of times with her but I think I like to sleep too much. When I wake up, she is usually on her porch swing drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. She makes me tea and I read some of the newspaper, too. Sometimes out loud to her. We always eat one meal out when I am here, or maybe get a dessert or snack instead. Today we went to a Spanish restaurant and ate tapas for an early dinner. They were yummy! It reminds me of the food we ate for Christmas two years ago when we went to Spain.  
This weekend Nonny and I went to the Makah Museum, the Suquamish Museum, and the Yakama Nation Cultural Center. The Seafair Pow Wow was cancelled so Nonny said we will pay our respects anyway and go to all of the museums we can. She said it was their land first so it’s only fair we learn about their culture. Last week we went to the Northwest Trek and hiked for over an hour to see animals. I used to go to the Kids Trek and play on the playground, but I wanted to go to the big trail this time. I saw lots of animals like otters, wolves, and bears but my favorites were the big cats! Bobcats, cougars, and Lynx were all there. I also liked the wolverine because it looks like a small wild cat. Bigger than Scoots and Scuttles but not as big as other big cats. Then we went on a tram ride and saw the roaming animals like big shaggy goats and elk and deer and bison. The moose looked like it was smiling, probably because it was eating. It reminded me of you when you eat macaroni and cheese. I miss you a lot. I had fun with Nonny but I hope you can come with me next summer. See you soon!

Your Friend,

Armin   
  


\-----

**Saturday, August 16** **th**

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” Levi grumbles as he drizzles hot pink paint onto a black canvas. His backyard is still covered in tarps, now littered with a dozen DIY projects ranging from homemade bookshelves out of a step-ladder, a wood pallet turned succulent wall, and other pieces of flair for Isabel’s Cal Poly San Luis Obispo student apartment. 

“Hey!” Farlan barks. “You started it! Eren fucking loves his newly painted furniture, dontcha little monster?”

Eren looks up from his project of making splatters of neon green onto the black painted wood pallet. “I LOVE it!”

“See?”

Isabel, Sasha, and two women from Isabel’s roller derby team are busy painting the shelves of the step ladder bookshelf in varying shades of neon. 

“I’ve never been to Uni,” Sasha says. “What's your Hall of Residence like?”

“It’s a big apartment,” Isabel explains. “We’ll all have our own room, but shared living room and kitchen.”

“What if you get some bigot bitch roommate who uses her religion to tell you you’re going to hell for being bi?” Kendra KaPow asks Isabel, who laughs at the notion.

“That won’t be a problem,” Isabel insists. “I got gender-inclusive housing so I’m only going to be rooming with other LGBTQ people or allies.”

“You're going to be missed," the other derby girl, Brawlipop, chimes in. 

"I'll miss the team," Isabel admits. "But I'm not completely ready to hang up my skates; I'll be back, one day." Before the mood can turn sentimental, Isabel playfully bumps Sasha's shoulder. "You should get Sasha to replace me!" 

"What, me? Rubbish."

"What would her derby name be?" Kendra KaPow wonders aloud.  
  
"Something British?"

"Original," Sasha scoffs with sarcasm.

"Something to do with cooking!" Isabel insists.

"The Britannia Basher?" Kendra suggests.  
  
"Brit-Bash-Ya?" Brawlipop twists, improving on Kendra's name.

Sasha eyes the women cautiously before her smile is too large to hide. "The Birmingham Butcher."

The other three young women howl with laughter and approval.    
  


\-----  
  


**Tuesday, August 19** **th**

“Can you hear me OK, dad?” Sasha asks the screen of the communal computer in the kitchen of the Smith residence. She waits a moment, growing more impatient as her parents fumble to gather around. “Can you hear me OK, dad?” She shouts.

“What? Oh, yes, bap, I hear you just fine. Just getting your Nan settled.”

“Stop fussing, George, I am settled. I know how to work that laptop better than your caggy-hand. Just sit.” Sasha’s father backs off and sits next to his wife on the doily covered couch. Once she is satisfied her son is not going to interrupt, Sasha’s grandmother turns to the camera and smiles. “Ello, Sasha!”

“Where’s that babby of yours?” Grumbles her grandfather.

“Keep your britches on, Grandad, here he is.” Sasha holds out her hand and Armin slides into view. Her family bursts into warm welcoming greetings.

“Hello, everyone!” Armin exclaims, waving cheerfully. Eren pops his head in view, looking over Armin’s shoulder inquisitively.

“Oh my lord,” Sasha’s Grandad exclaims. “Sasha had another one!”

“He ent mine, Grandad,” Sasha quickly replies. “This is Eren, he’s Armin’s best mate. They thick as thieves.”

“Are you now there?” Sasha’s mother says. “You just have to bring Eren along next you visit, Sasha. So Armin has someone to play with, now that the house is empty.”

“Where is our kid?” Sasha asks.

“Kaya is in Spain with some girlfriends, including that Mary who lives at the back of Rackham’s.”

“Mom, that’s not nice,” Sasha says sternly. 

“Is Sasha visiting?” Grandad asks in his stormy, gravel voice.

“Not this summer, Grandad,” Sasha explains sorrowfully. “I’ll make it up at Christmas. I’m sorry, but I had school this summer and I went on holiday with Connie.”

“Who?”

“Sasha’s boyfriend, Dad,” Sasha’s mother explains patiently.

“Is he the father of the brown haired bab?”

“Oh my lord,” Sasha’s mother huffs under her breath. 

“How was your holiday, poppet?” Nan asks.

“Lovely, yeah, really nice,” Sasha says, her face glowing at the memory. 

“We got your postcard the other day,” Sasha’s mom adds, “Mexico looks warm and gorgeous!” 

“Mexico is gorgeous,” Sasha agrees, “no picture or painting could ever grab those sunsets. I mean, we only saw such a small part, mostly tourists too, but next time Connie will take me to visit his cousins.”

“Will he now?” Nan says with a knowing lilt. “Things must be going well.”

“They are, Nan, now stop hinting around. I know where you’re going from here.”

Nan feigns innocence as she holds up her hands. “I’ve not said a word, not a single word!”

Sasha folds her arms over her chest. “I can read your thoughts well an’ good.”

“Armin, what have you been doing this summer?” Sasha’s father asks, ignoring his daughter and mother.

“I went to summer camp, but it was like school because I didn’t sleepover. We learned a lot about robotics and electrical engineering.”

“That’s a solid trade, electrical engineering.”

“That sounds very clever, Armin,” Mrs. Braus says.

“Your boy has a trade, Sasha. You could have taken over your father’s butchery by now.”

“Grandad, we had this conversation. I want to learn the whole business of cookery and culinary school is the best way. Once I’m done, and Armin no longer needs his nanny, I’ll go into proper butchery full time.”

“Stop being such a mither,” Nan grouses at her husband. “Sasha, bap, it’s time for tea and I need to get the fittle on and a tot for your Grandad.”

“Tara a bit, Nan. Mom, Dad, I love you. Love you, Grandad!”

“Love you, babby. Ta ta.”

“Keep out th’ossroad!” Nan says before Skype closes and Sasha is left with the pale of her reflection.

Sasha looks over at a curious Eren and says, "That's me crazy family."

"They're funny, I like them." Eren says.

"They would love to spoil you like they spoil Armin," Sasha says, gently tickling Armin in the belly. He squeals and runs, Eren quick on his heels before Sasha gives chase.

\-----  
  


**Thursday, August 21** **st**

Farlan whistles to the tune of  _ Lips Like Sugar _ as he wipes the grease off his fingers one by one. 

“Soup’s on!” He calls to Levi, still hunched under the hood of a 1951 Studebaker Starlight Coupe. After a thorough scrub of his hands, Farlan goes into the office to prepare his Cup of Noodles lunch. He holds a Spicy Shrimp Picante flavor in his left hand, with a regular shrimp flavor in his right.

“Am I feeling spicy today?” Farlan asks no one but himself. Weighing them as if he held the fate of the world in his hands, Farlan’s eyes stray to a thick catalogue sitting atop Levi’s normally clean desk. “Hello, what’s this?” 

Setting down his junk food, Farlan turns the thick catalogue. It is a full listing for classes for the fall semester at Pasadena City College. Looking over his shoulder, Farlan ensures his friend is still occupied with work before he quietly picks up the catalogue. “Levi,” Farlan whispers, “I’m going through your mail, okay? ‘Okay, Farlan. You know you’re my best friend and I have no secrets from you.’ Of course not, best buddy. Say, should I have spicy shrimp or regular shrimp for lunch? ‘Have them both. Also, you can have my RC bottle because you’re the coolest.’ Why, you’re so generous-”

“Touch my RC and I’ll kill you with my bare hands.”

“Jesus!” Farlan shouts with a violent start, dropping the catalogue onto the desk. A piece of paper flies out and Farlan cannot help but grab it before Levi is able to stop him. “ ‘Anti-Asshole Teachings for the Straights. Nice title TBD. Assemblies, camps, training for staff too because adults are dicks and pass prejudice to their kids like bad genes. Cops, hospitals, and anyone official who works with the public.’ Levi, what is this? Your list for sweet, sweet vengeance?”

A pale shade of red colors Levi’s cheeks as he swipes behind Farlan to grab the spicy shrimp Cup of Noodles. “Just brainstorming for Erwin’s friends at the LGBTQ center.”

“OK, one mystery solved. What about this?” Farlan waves the college course catalogue. Levi shrugs before unwrapping his instant soup and filling the electric kettle with filtered water. 

“It’s nothing, really. It came in the mail but I decided to flip through it because there might be some night course or something to help me sound smarter to these philanthropist do-gooder types. I didn’t even know you could study shit outside of the crap we learned in school.”

“And prison.”

“Right. I mean, I was thinking psychology, right, but then there is something called sociology, and another subject called humanities. Those are kind of interesting. Look, there’s even a class all on gothic literature. What the fuck? I wish we could have skipped straight to this good shit.”

“This good shit you have to pay for, that’s why it’s interesting.”

“I guess so,” Levi mumbles.

“OK. Hypothetically, if you could go to college and get a degree in any subject, what would you study?”

“I don’t know, honestly. I mean, just a small skim through that catalogue blew my mind. I never heard of half of those subjects. More than half. What the fuck is anthropology?”

Farlan thinks for a moment while he removes the remaining soup from its packaging. “I think it has something to do with monkey’s.”

“Monkey’s?” Levi scoffs.

“Isabel took that class and she had to go to some monkey sanctuary out in the boonies. I don’t know.”

“That’s what I mean; it’s smart people shit. I want to be able to say a word like anthropology and know what the fuck I’m talking about. I sometimes think I’m a smart guy, but whenever I’m around Erwin or the parents and staff at Eren’s school, I feel dumb as a pile of bricks.”

“OK, hold up. Does Erwin make you feel stupid?”

“No, of course not. It’s all in my head, dummy.”

“Right. So get over yourself.”

“Yeah, but-”

“Did you wipe Eren’s butt when he was a baby?”

The question catches Levi off guard. “What?”

“Did you wipe Eren’s butt when he was a baby?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Did you keep him warm in the cold ass winters when you lived up north?”

“Yeah.”

“Has Eren ever gone hungry because of your incompetence as a parent?”

“No…”

“Do you hold a full-time job in a business you have forty percent ownership of?”

“Yes.”

“Are you certified? Insured? Feed your cats? Pay your taxes? Wash your hands after using the bathroom? Up to date on all of your shots?”

“What’s your point?”

“You do all the shit that matters the most when it comes to being a smart adult: you take care of your kid, take care of yourself, and still manage to have flawless eyeliner. You’re life smart. You're fine.”

Levi thinks on this as the kettle goes off. 

“But hey,” Farlan tacks on as he hooks his arms around Levi’s shoulders. “Whether you want to take a couple of classes out of curiosity or go the whole way and get a degree in monkey business or sociology or whatever the fuck, I’ll stand by ya, dude.”

“Thanks.”

Farlan playfully chomps on Levi’s ear before giving him a gentle punch in the arm. “No problemo. You just can’t study anywhere but Pasadena because I’m crying myself to sleep every night as I cross off the days until Isabel leaves my nest forever.”

\----

**Monday, August 25** **th**

**::Erwin::** So there is a funny little problem going down on my Instagram page that finally gained traction and is now in the media.

**::Levi::** Cough it up Smith

**::Erwin::** My followers on Instagram started to worry that you were not being mentioned, especially since I abruptly left the USA after the charity ball. It started as the occasional comment and then an entire subreddit began on theories of what happened to us...more importantly, you. Now bigger blogs and digital media are picking up the story.  
  


**::Levi::  
**

**::Erwin::** I'm equally proud to be the recipient of your first meme as well as mortally wounded.

**::Levi::** I have this burning dread in the back of my throat. What are you getting at Smith??

**::Erwin::** Can you take a selfie and may I post it on Instagram as proof we are still together?

**::Levi::** SELFIE? What am I, 16?

**::Erwin::** Pretty please?

**::Levi::** You're going to be home in a couple of weeks. Can't this wait until then?

**::Erwin::** No. It's the principle of the matter.

**::Levi::** Not my circus not my monkey

**::Erwin::** I'll caption it with ANYTHING you want to tell everyone. A direct Levi Ackerman quote.

**::Levi::** Christ on crackers, Smith. FINE. You'll have your selfie tomorrow. Goodnight.

**::Erwin::** I love you!

**::Levi::** Yeah yeah

**::Levi::** ♥♥♥

  
\----

**Wednesday, August 27** **th  
** **From: LEVI  
** **Re: Week Eight Updates  
** **To:** [ **CasualErwin@freedomsound.com** ](mailto:CasualErwin@freedomsound.com)

Well? It’s been 24 hours since I sent you those images you practically begged me for. How’d they go?

  * L



\----

**Wednesday, August 27** **th  
** **From: Erwin Smith  
** **Re: Re: Week Eight Updates  
** **To:** [ **BadtzBoyLevi@freedomsound.com** ](mailto:BadtzBoyLevi@freedomsound.com)

There was a lot of debate which caption and image to post. I appreciate you treating this task with the earnest respect it deserved, though I suspect Sasha had a hand in that. Thank her for the “up yours” gesture, that is now the photo I use on the lock screen of my personal phone. You may or may not be pleased to know that I went with the photo that I thought best suited you, one you very evidently did not pose for and Sasha or Farlan sneakily got and did not show you. Thankfully Sasha sent it to me. You are casually brushing your fringe out of your eyes and your head is slightly turned, the light catching all of those angles in your face I greatly miss. It went well with your "I hope you nerds are satisfied. Now mind your own damn business" caption. 

As for the reaction, as of this writing, I have over 500,000 likes and approx. 34,000 comments. Among them are gems such as:

“KING!”

“Our King Lives!”

“Halleoo!”

“Step on me, Daddy”

“If you ever do decide to to part ways, do please pass along my contact information, Erwin.”

That last one was from Sir Ian McKellan, by the way.

Love,

Erwin

**Wednesday, August 27** **th  
** **From: LEVI  
** **Re: Re: Re: Week Eight Updates  
** **To:** **[CasualErwin@freedomsound.com](mailto:CasualErwin@freedomsound.com) **

GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE GANDALF HAS THE HOTS FOR ME?

  
  


**Wednesday, August 27** **th  
** **From: Erwin Smith  
** **Re: Re: Re: Re: Week Eight Updates  
** **To:** [ **BadtzBoyLevi@freedomsound.com** ](mailto:BadtzBoyLevi@freedomsound.com)

Apparently so. I warned you about wearing your leather jacket over a wet white undershirt.

  
  


**Wednesday, August 27** **th  
** **From: LEVI  
** **Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Week Eight Updates  
** **To:** [ **CasualErwin@freedomsound.com** ](mailto:CasualErwin@freedomsound.com)

Don’t fuck with me, Smith. Magneto wants to be my sugar daddy. 

**Wednesday, August 27** **th  
** **From: Erwin Smith  
** **Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Week Eight Updates  
** **To:** [ **BadtzBoyLevi@freedomsound.com** ](mailto:BadtzBoyLevi@freedomsound.com)

Wait, so you don’t want with fuck with me anymore, Badtz? Is that what I’m understanding? Tone can be so difficult to convey and comprehend via email.

**Wednesday, August 27** **th  
** **From: LEVI  
** **Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Week Eight Updates  
** **To:** [ **CasualErwin@freedomsound.com** ](mailto:CasualErwin@freedomsound.com)

Call me and find out. 😈

  
\----

**Sunday, August 31** **st**

"Hey, Ducks, how are you?"

Armin leans forward and rests his chin on his hands as he looks at the computer screen. "Good, Poppa."

"How was Isabel's good-bye party yesterday?"

"Loud!" Armin says with emphasis, causing his father to laugh. "There were so many people in our backyard. I can't believe one person has that many friends."

"Well, she has her school friends and her whole roller derby community."

"Yeah. A lot of them had tattoos just like Isabel."

"Did everyone have a good time?" 

"Yes. Sasha and Connie shared the barbecue and smoker. There was so much food! Eren almost got sick from eating too much, but Sasha gave him ginger and Levi made him chew on peppermint leaves. He felt better and then fell asleep. It wasn't even dark yet. It was really dark when I went to bed."

"How late did everyone stay?"

"I don't know, some people were in the swimming pool when I went to sleep. Some of them didn't leave until this morning," Armin says. "Levi said some of them had to spend the night because it was too dangerous for them to drive home."

"Levi is a very smart man; it's a good thing he was looking out for Isabel's friends."

"Yeah."

"Did Sasha take you shopping for school?"

"No, Levi did."

"Levi?" Erwin asks with more surprise than he intends. 

"He said he was taking Eren shopping, so he might as well take me. Sasha gave him a shopping list."

"Well, I'm glad they're being far more diplomatic about your rearing than I would give either of them credit."

"Levi wouldn't let me try on any of the clothes but he knew my size just by holding up the clothes near me. We didn't have to return any of them."

"He wouldn't let you try them on? Where did he take you?"

"A big warehouse called Out of the Closet. He said it was the distribution center so it's much larger than their regular stores. Eren found some fun sparkly dresses but they were too big for him. So we told Sasha about it because I think she will like this store quite a lot. Levi said the dresses probably belonged to the Queen! I'm not sure I have ever seen her wear anything so flash before, but Sasha would certainly love the clothes Eren found."

Erwin purses his lips together, holding in his laughter. "Armin, I'm afraid Levi was not referring to Her Royal Majesty Queen Elizabeth, but drag queens. Such as the kind from the television program Sasha likes to watch?"

"Not the Queen of England?"

"Afraid not."

"Oh." Armin tilts his head in sober contemplation. "Oh, that makes so much more sense."

Erwin chuckles. "Are you excited to return to school? Even if it isn't Polytechnic?"

"Yes, even if it isn't Polytechnic," Armin concedes. "But I'm afraid I'm going to forget something because we keep moving back and forth between our house and Levi's house. I'm anxious I'll forget a book or homework or something important."

"I see what you mean," Erwin muses, the gears and cogs in his brain already churning in problem solving mode. 

"It would be easier if we all just lived together."

Erwin jolts as if struck by lightning. "What did you say?" He sputters, unsure if Skype glitched, causing him to mishear his son. 

"I said, it would be easier if we all just lived together."

Erwin cannot believe his ears. Armin is clearly nonchalant, and Erwin decides to tread very lightly with this very serious subject. "Would that be something you are seriously interested in?" He asks. "All of us living together? You, me, Sasha, Levi, and Eren?"

"And the cats," Armin reminds his father. 

"Of course," Erwin nods. 

"Yes, I've thought about it rather a lot this summer," Armin says, leaning on his elbows. "I thought about it when I was happy playing with Eren, and when I was at summer camp, and when it was Levi and me. And I even thought about it when Eren got on my nerves a little bit. I thought maybe I wouldn't like to always be together, but then I remembered that if we lived together, we wouldn't always want to spend time together, or feel we have to anyway. And when I visited Nonny, I thought about how it would have been nice to have Eren there because I could have a friend; Eren can see things he's never seen before, and Nonny can have two kids visiting her. And! If we all lived together, you and Levi would get to see each other more."

"One would hope," Erwin adds jovially. 

“And when you go out at night, we still get to sleep in our own beds with a cat each... because every night would be a sleepover."

"You weren't joking, Ducks; you have thought this through."

"Yeah."

"I won't lie, Armin, your Poppa has entertained the thought of merging our families together under one roof, too. It would be a transition,”

“I’ve gone through lots of transitions,” Armin pointedly reminds his father.

“Yes, but Eren hasn’t. So we have to be patient with him. And Levi, for that matter. It’s a big step, making your family bigger.”

Armin shrugs simply. “But we’re already family.”

Erwin shakes his head once in amazement. “I can’t argue with you there, Ducks. Leave the rest to me.”

\-----  
  


**Tuesday, September 2** **nd**

“Eren!” Levi calls as he slips each foot into the supple, familiar black leather of his boots. “Do you want to get breakfast or not? Get the molasses out of your butt, kiddo.”

The first week of school used to be the most difficult. The days of alternating between jammies and swim trunks as suitable attire were over; no more running through the sprinklers, vegetating to a marathon of Spongebob Squarepants, forgetting the days. Now was the time for backpacks, a fresh set of colored pencils, wearing actual clothes like civilized primates, and prepared lunches. Time management had never been the Ackerman boys' forte, but over the years through trial and error, Levi worked out a system that smoothed the transition.

“I'm coming, dad!” Eren huffs as he slings his backpack over one shoulder and does a once over of his bedroom. Daddy will check it after school to make sure his bed was made. “Good enough,” Eren mutters under his breath before tossing a wayward shoe into his hamper. “OK! Ready!”

“Let's get this show on the road, little monster,” Levi says, placing his sunglasses over his small, steel blue eyes and opening the front door for his son. Levi admires his boy as Eren secures his acid green helmet and slips the other strap of his backpack onto his shoulder. Nine years old - nine and  _ a half _ , Eren would correct – and in the first week of fourth grade. Time was flying past them. “C’mon, kiddo. Let’s go pick up Armin and get some breakfast.”

“This would be  _ so _ much easier if we just lived in the same house,” Eren grumbles as he storms ahead of his father, completely unaware of the atomic bomb he has just dropped on Levi.

“Wh-what did you say?”

“How come we can’t all just live together in the same house?” Eren pouts in his perfectly petulant voice. “Then maybe I can sleep in.” At the mention of sleep, Eren yawns noisily.

“I don’t know, I guess it’s something to think about,” Levi’s voice trails off as his mind spurts and sputters.  _ We haven’t even been dating a year yet, but we’ve already blended our families perfectly. What else is the next logical step?  _ Levi’s experience ends abruptly short and he is left alone in uncharted territory. Still, the thought of sharing the same residence as the Smith family doesn’t sound half bad. Not half bad at all. 

**Saturday, September 6** **th**

“Feeling confident about coming home and leaving your company without the training wheels?” Levi asks.

“Yes, very much so. Historia is beyond competent. Truth be told, I don’t think I’ve ever been this excited to return to American soil in my life.”

“You sure you want to pick the boys up from school on Monday? Aren’t you going to be jet-lagged?”

“That’s the only way to fight jet-lag,” Erwin contests. “To adapt to the timezone I’ve just flown to.”

“Well, I think you’re crazy and going to scare them off with airplane smell.”

“No, I should have time to run home and take a shower first.”

“Twenty bucks says the second you sit on your bed, you’ll face plant right into your pillow.”

“You’re on,” Erwin retorts. “And after I pick up the boys, we will come to your work just to cash in our prize and head directly to El Taquito Taco Truck!” 

“It doesn’t open until six o’clock, Smith.”

“Well then we’ll just stand there and be the first in line, won’t we?”

Levi smirks and shakes his head at his boyfriend’s continuing ridiculousness.

“How was the boys’ first week of school?”

“Oh, you know how it goes; it’s all fun and games until someone remembers that homework is an inescapable reality.” Levi shrugs one shoulder. “Fourth grade is going very well. Armin likes his teacher and that he is in the 4th-5th split group because he gets more of a challenge, and Eren likes his teacher, Mr. Kruger. They would have liked to have been put in the same room, but considering how much they see of each other as it is, I think it's a nice break. We don't want them getting sick of one another."

“You know, speaking of which, it must be pretty dizzying hauling the boys back and forth all of the time.”

“What do you mean?”

“Going from my place, to yours, packing, unpacking, taking cats, getting a cat sitter, messy overlapping schedules, not to mention school and work. Just a lot of hauling.”

“Well,” Levi contemplates his boyfriend’s concerns. “I mean, it’s not a bother, if that’s what you’re getting at?”

“It must get tiring for you and the boys, is all. I’m surprised more than the odd toothbrush or sock has not been forgotten.”

“It’s not as if this is a great distance, we live three miles from each other. Where is this coming from?”

“Well, I was talking with Armin last week and he expressed a deep concern with all of the hauling back and forth. He’s getting anxious about forgetting schoolwork. Plus, it’s disruptive to their sleep when they get all hyped up over getting to having these perpetual sleepover parties. And the days will be getting darker soon, which means the kids just have to stay in the garage and not go to the park waiting for you to get home. It’s a lot of interruption.”

“I see your point,” Levi concedes, feeling the ghost Eren’s lament from earlier in the week.  _ Is it too early to bring up the idea of moving in together? Just start slow and test the waters.  _ “Damn, I had no idea Armin was feeling this way. I guess we could...I dunno, come up with a schedule in advance? If we look at both of our work calendars and Sasha’s school calendar, I’m pretty sure we can come up with something.”

“No,” Erwin dismisses cavalierly. “That’s not going to be good enough.”

Levi stares at his boyfriend, trying to swallow the rising panic and anger he is feeling at Erwin’s casual flippancy. Eren’s words are on the tip of his tongue but his insecurity if Erwin is on the same page as him overtake him.

“Fine, genius, you come up with a solution.”

“Oh, Armin already has.”

“Armin came up with a solution?” Levi repeats, feeling a snare closing in on him.

“Yes. He said we should just all live together.”

Levi bolts upright in his chair and raises a perfectly arched eyebrow in suspicion. “Did he now?”

Erwin, ever the cool and collected businessman, nods approvingly as he adds, “I have to say, I agree with him.”

Levi ignores Erwin's self-satisfaction as he reveals, “Eren said the same thing just a few days ago.”

“Excuse me?” Erwin adds, feeling his cleverness rapidly vanish.

“Eren was complaining about not being able to sleep in and said it'd all be easier if we just lived together. At first I thought it was the typical first week of school bitching, but…”

“Armin,” Erwin finishes with a sigh of awe at the realization he has likely been outwitted by his nine year old.

“Those clever little shits,” Levi huffs with laughter. 

“We’ve been bamboozled, haven’t we?”

“Possibly,” Levi admits. 

“Still, entrapment or not, it does beg a very good question.”

Levi leans back in his chair and interlaces his fingers. “It certainly does.”

“What are your feelings on the matter, Mr. Ackerman?”

“Hm. I cannot tell a lie, Smith, big changes kinda make me queasy.”

“I’ll bring you a barf bag from the airplane.”

Levi smirks at the offer. “If we move in, wouldn’t we be sending a terrible message to our sons? That they can just scheme together to get anything they want?”

Erwin leans forward in his chair, feeling his heart-rate skip up a beat in anticipation. “We’ll both be under the same roof; we’ll stop their dastardly schemes before they ever have the chance to hatch.”

Levi is unable to hide his growing smile and finally lets up. “I mean, who can say no to Sasha’s cooking?”

Erwin’s ear to ear smile reflects his boyfriends. “Who indeed?”

  
  
  
  


“I think they figured out we set them up,” Armin whispers into the microphone of his father’s iPhone. 

“Who cares,” Eren whispers back into his father’s commandeered cell phone. “We’re going to finally live in the same house, all of us! We’re going to be brothers!”

“What did I tell you, Eren?” Armin says in a tone that stresses every day of his four-and-a-half month lead on their age. “One step at a time.”


End file.
